I shook my head and looked back over my shoulder to see if there was anyone else around. Surely someone was about to see the same movie as Cameron and I, but the street in front of the theater was empty. I started to panic.
“Where are you running to?” Craig asked as I started to back away. When I looked at him again he was standing right in front of me. His hands grasped my shoulders firmly. I struggled against him, but he wouldn’t let go.
Up close, he smelled of beer and cigarettes, and I silently prayed Cameron would arrive and Craig would just walk away.
“My boyfriend is coming,” I blurted.
He smiled maliciously. “But he’s not here now, is he?”
He stepped forward, forcing me to stumble backward until I was pressed against the wall.
I opened my mouth to scream, but he clamped his hand over my lips. “Uh-uh, none of that. I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered into my ear before his moist lips pressed against my neck, and he pushed his body hard against mine.
Hot tears ran down my cheeks, and suddenly he was gone. I opened my eyes and saw Craig and Cameron circling each other, both with furious looks on their faces.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Cameron yelled.
“Just lookin’ after your girl,” Craig taunted.
Cameron launched himself at Craig, and I could only stare as his fist made contact. I heard a loud crack as Craig screamed in pain and blood sprayed on my shoes.
“Cam, be careful!” I yelled. He turned to me, a startled look on his face, as if he’d forgotten I was there. His expression instantly changed from incensed to concerned as he ran over to me.
“Are you okay?” He surrounded me in a hug and stroked his fingers through my hair.
“I’m fine. Can we just go?” I pleaded.
“Yeah.” Cameron looked back over his shoulder at Craig, who was jogging away.
As soon as Craig’s retreating form turned the corner, I relaxed. Once we were safe in Cameron’s car, I ran my fingers gently over his knuckles. I could see the bruise forming.
“Did he hurt you?” Cameron asked.
“No.” I shook my head. “Are you hurt?”
“As long as you’re safe, I’m perfectly fine,” Cam said, giving me a smile…
I lay down on the bed and pulled a pillow over my head. I couldn’t believe Owen and Cameron had just been in a physical altercation. It seemed so juvenile and ridiculous.
I could hear talking and the door opening and closing, and I knew people were leaving. I hated being a drama queen, but I didn’t feel like I could face Owen or Cameron right then. Hopefully our guests would understand.
I stood up, walked over to the window, and pulled the curtain back so I could peek outside. Several of the cars were already gone, and I saw Bonnie, Alex, and Cameron walking toward Bonnie’s car. Then Cameron looked back at the house for a moment.
I shook my head as I watched Bonnie’s car pull out of the drive and wondered why I’d yelled at Owen and run away instead of staying and talking to him. I thought for a minute, and I realized it was what I always did when a problem came up. I ran. It seemed to be almost an instinctual reaction to difficulty, but I didn’t want to be afraid to talk with my fiancé. Owen had been trying to teach me to talk through our issues, and it seemed I still had a long way to go.
I walked toward the bedroom door with a newfound determination. Running away from my problems hadn’t helped me in the past, so I’d try to face this issue head on and sort it out before it became any bigger.
I opened the door and walked through the house, surprised to find it completely empty. I headed out into the backyard and found Owen cleaning the grill.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey, you,” he said with his back to me, continuing to work the brush over the grill.
“What happened in there?” I sat on one of the outdoor chairs and curled my knees up to my chest.
Owen sighed loudly and spun to face me. I could see the beginnings of a black eye, and I shook my head. Cameron probably had a similar bruise on his face.
“I’m sorry — ” Owen began.
“Don’t apologize,” I interrupted. “Just tell me what you were thinking.”
“I don’t know. I walked into the kitchen and you were alone with him, and you were crying, and then he had his arms around you, and I just lost it.”
I was silent for a moment, looking at the sadness and remorse in his eyes. “Are you injured?” I asked.
“A bit of a sore jaw and my knuckles are swollen.”
I stood up and ran my fingers lightly down his jaw, but I pulled my hand back when he winced at my touch. I got up on my tiptoes and gently kissed his sore chin.
“I’ll apologize to him,” he sighed, his arms slipping around my waist and holding me to his chest.
I could tell he wasn’t happy about that prospect, and I didn’t expect him to really do it. It was enough for me that he’d offered. But I didn’t get a chance to tell him that because the phone rang inside the house.
“I’ll get that,” I said, pulling out of his grasp and heading to the study.
“Hello?”
“Charlotte, are you okay?” Cameron’s voice asked, sounding relieved.
“Cam?” I was unsure how he’d gotten my new phone number.
“Yeah. Bonnie gave me your number — I hope that’s all right.”
“What were you going to do if Owen answered?”
He was silent for a moment. Then he chuckled softly. “Hang up,” he admitted.
I rolled my eyes.
“So are you okay?” he asked. “Is Owen angry with you?”
“I’m fine. We talked about it. He said he was sorry he hit you, and he knows he shouldn’t have done it. I’m really sorry, Cam. Are you badly hurt?”
“I’ll probably have a black eye, but apart from that I’m fine. I was concerned that he’d take it out on you after everyone left.”
“That would never happen. Owen treats me really well. There’s no need to worry,” I told him, a little insulted.
“Okay, well…I just wanted to check in. I’m glad you’re okay. Will I talk to you soon?”
“Yeah,” I said, not really knowing when that would be. Now that we’d talked about everything and the past was out in the open, I couldn’t see much of a reason.
“Maybe we could have lunch next week. Just as friends?”
“I’ll let you know,” I said vaguely before hanging up.
I was going to have to think more about Owen’s feelings and talk to him about how he really felt about Cameron and me having a friendship before I took it any further. It was time for me to be serious about my relationship and think about Owen’s needs. Having Cameron in my life was going to more of a problem than I’d originally thought.
Chapter Twelve
Goodbye, My Love
“Come in, Bonnie,” I called from the kitchen when I heard her knock.
Footsteps echoed down the hallway before Bonnie’s smiling face appeared next to me, and her arms wrapped around my waist.
“You’re going to be a bride.”
I laughed and hugged her back. “I know! Hey, Alex.” I looked over Bonnie’s shoulder as I saw him enter the room.
He nodded and sat down on one of the barstools.
“Coffee?” I asked, switching the percolator on and taking cups from the cupboard.
“I’d love a coffee,” Alex said.
“Not for me. I’ll just start looking through your magazines,” Bonnie replied, looking around the counters. “Where are your magazines?”
“What magazines?” I asked.
“The bridal magazines, so we can plan!” she said, as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.
“I didn’t buy any. I’ve already had a big wedding, and Owen and I agreed to have a small ceremony,” I explained, grabbing the milk out of the fridge.
Bonnie scrunched up her face as if she smelled something bad and spun around to face Alex.
“Will you be okay here?” she asked him. “I’m just going to run to the store. I’ll be right back.”
“Sure,” he said as I handed him his coffee.
“Bonnie — ”
“We need magazines, Charlotte. Even if you don’t want a big wedding, we still need some inspiration for your dress,” she said anxiously.
I shrugged and sat down next to Alex. “Okay, but don’t take too long.”
“Be right back,” she sang as she disappeared down the hall.
After the front door closed, Alex and I sat in silence, drinking our coffee. It dawned on me that I was sitting with a virtual stranger, and I felt a little uncomfortable. I took a long drink from my cup.
“So…” Alex said.
Our eyes met, and I opened my mouth to reply but couldn’t think of anything to say. I just looked at the countertop and drank more of my coffee. Alex tapped his fingers idly on the smooth surface, and I started humming along. Then we both burst out laughing.
“That was one awkward silence,” I giggled.
“One of the most awkward I’ve ever had.”
I traced the marble countertop with my fingers. “I’m sorry about how the party ended when you were here last,” I finally said.
“Oh, it’s fine. It was interesting, actually. I watched Owen seethe from the minute we arrived, and I wondered if he’d blow his top,” Alex said, shifting to face me.
“Really? I knew he was annoyed, but I never saw that blow-up coming.”
“Maybe you were too close to it. I’d never met either of you, but Bonnie described the situation to me so I had a feeling he’d be annoyed that Cameron came along.”
“Why did he come?”
I hadn’t spoken with Cameron since he’d called after the party to ask if I was okay. He’d called my cell two days ago, but I didn’t answer. I didn’t know what to say to him.
“You know the Harpers — they do everything together. So when Ryan was invited, I think it just seemed natural for them all to come…especially since you were involved,” he said, draining the last of the coffee from his cup.
“What do you mean?”
“They adore you! Bonnie has talked about you nonstop since you got back to town. You’re one of them.”
“I was one of them,” I clarified.
“They’ll always consider you one of them. Did you know Cameron keeps your wedding photo in his office?”
I nodded. “Yes, I had lunch with him there the other day.”
“David told him he shouldn’t have it there — that he’s torturing himself with it — but he refuses to take it down.”
“David told him to sell the house as well.”
Alex nodded. “Before you moved back, I didn’t know much about Cameron. Bonnie and I have been dating for about a year, but he’s always been a mystery to me. He showed up to family dinners, smiled, and played the dutiful son and brother, but he was never really there. Over the past few weeks he’s become a different person.”
I pondered that for a few minutes and wondered if my presence, or lack thereof, affected Cameron in ways I hadn’t considered before. Bonnie had mentioned that Cameron seemed withdrawn after I left, but hearing it from someone who wasn’t as close to him was eye-opening. It reminded me of my behavior after my mother left…
Cameron’s attempts to talk to me when I first got back into town had overwhelmed me. I’d felt like he was asking something of me, when in fact he’d been trying to give me something: understanding, explanations, and apologies.
I felt sympathy for Cameron and the pain he’d been in for so long. I’d found love with someone new, but Cameron had gotten stuck in his guilt and never moved past it.
Alex’s hand on my shoulder brought me out of my thoughts. “He’s happy you’re back,” he said. “They all are.”
“I know. But it must hurt him to see me with Owen.”
“I think he’d rather endure the pain of seeing you with someone else than not have you in his life at all.”
I realized in that moment just how loved I was — by both Owen and Cameron. They both wanted the best for me, even to their own detriment. Owen had encouraged me to face my past, and he stood by my side now even as my renewed relationship with Cameron hurt him. And Cameron still wanted me in his life, even if it would never be in the capacity he truly hoped for. But both of them giving me what I wanted wasn’t making me happy — let alone either of them.
“That’s selfish of me, though… I have to pick one of them,” I said softly, realizing this for the first time.
Why hadn’t I seen it before? No matter how much I wanted to fit them both into my life, making it the perfect puzzle, that was never going to happen. The piece of my life that belonged to Cameron would never fit with the piece that belonged to Owen. It was impossible, and yet I wasn’t willing to give up either part of myself.
Before this moment, I hadn’t realized that any type of decision needed to be made. And now that I did, it should have been easy to choose Owen. I’d left Cameron behind five years ago. But the first time I’d walked away from him, I was hurt and angry and didn’t know the details of what had happened. Now that I understood them, it didn’t seem so clear.
Alex remained quiet until we made eye contact, and he gave me a soft smile. “Your heart will tell you what to do,” he said, as if he’d heard my thoughts.
I quickly gulped the last of my coffee and looked down again. Alex sat quietly next to me. I was surprised at how comforting it was to have an almost-stranger there with me. I knew he didn’t expect anything of me, and he didn’t seem to have his own agenda or want me to pick a certain person.
The front door crashed open and footsteps stomped down the hallway.
“Stupid small town…think we’re all hillbillies…” Bonnie muttered to herself as she appeared in the doorway.
Alex stood and kissed her forehead, smoothing her hair. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I couldn’t get any bridal magazines in this stupid backward town.” She sighed dramatically. “I’m going to Hartford tomorrow to buy a few. Can we reschedule this planning meeting for next week?”
“Sure,” I said, thankful for the reprieve. My mind was still focused on having to choose between Cameron and Owen.
“I guess we’ll just get going then,” Bonnie said. “Sorry.” She gave me a quick hug.
“That’s okay. Next week will be perfect.”
I walked Bonnie and Alex out to the car and gave Alex a hug too.
“Thank you,” I whispered. He squeezed me tightly in response and gave me a wink as he climbed into the car.
***
That night, when Owen got home from work, I was still sitting on the couch thinking — in the same spot I’d been in since Bonnie and Alex left that morning. Owen smiled before sitting next to me and pulling my curled legs out from underneath me and into his lap. He began to rub the soles of my feet.
I hummed in satisfaction as I leaned on the arm of the couch and allowed him to work. Owen was always so thoughtful. When I tried to recall whether Cameron had ever done something similar, I quickly stopped myself and sat up straight, pulling my feet from Owen’s grasp. It would do no good for me to start comparing them.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I replied, my tone harsh.
He gave me a confused look.
“Can we talk?” I asked nervously.
He sighed and twisted around on the couch to face me, then gently took my hand. This was another thing I loved about Owen — how much he loved to touch me. Just holding hands was special with him.
“Are you still upset about what happened at the party?” he asked.
“No, I’m not upset. But it did make me think.”
Owen cocked his head to the side, silently prompting me to continue.
“What do you want?” I asked bluntly.
“What?”
I shook my head slightly to organize my thoughts. “I’ve been unfair to you since we moved he
re… I know you wanted me to reconnect with people and sort through my past, but now I’m not sure I want them all in the past,” I said, wondering if I was making any sense. “I guess what I’m asking is, is it okay with you if I have a friendship with Cameron?”
Owen held my gaze. “I want you to be happy.”
“I know.” I squeezed his hand. “But what do you want?”
Owen dropped my hand and rubbed his over his face. “If I had my choice, no. Once you get the closure you need, you wouldn’t have any contact with Cameron or anyone in his family. But I would never ask you to give up people who are important to you. I’m fine, really — and don’t forget, I was the one who suggested you reconnect with him. I know I overreacted the other night, but I promise it won’t happen again.”
“I want you to be happy too! If me being around Cameron is going to hurt you or damage our relationship, I need you to tell me,” I pushed.
“It’s fine, baby. I promise,” he said, kissing my lips gently.
“Are you sure?”
“As long as he keeps his hands off you,” Owen growled in my ear.
“Deal.”
***
“Where’s my phone?” I yelled angrily as it rang for the second time.
“Where did you leave it?” Owen called unhelpfully from the living room where he was watching television.
I resisted the urge to yell that if knew where I’d left it, it wouldn’t be lost and instead kept searching through the papers piled up on the kitchen counter. The phone stopped ringing, and I sighed.
I sat down on the barstool. Everything had gone wrong today: I’d stubbed my toe in the shower and hobbled around all morning. Then the coffeemaker broke, so I hadn’t had any caffeine. Owen had spent the afternoon sulking in the living room, and I’d burned the toast when I tried to make us tuna sandwiches. Now this horrible day would not end, and I’d missed two calls because I couldn’t find my stupid phone.
My ringtone sounded again, and I groaned loudly before restarting my search. I felt the bowl of fruit vibrate against my arm and pulled out two bananas, finding my phone at the bottom of the bowl.
“What the?” I yelled loudly before pulling the phone out and answering the call.
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