The back of my head rests against the tub and I close my eyes, enjoying the silence and the solace. Today has been the worst day of my life. A couple of days, really. First had been the argument with Reilly, then I threw up, then we had irritating and amazing sex, then I cried some more, and now this. When my mom called to tell me the news, I’d dropped my phone, sprinted to the bathroom, and thrown up again. I don’t know why, all of a sudden, my stomach is so sensitive, but it has to be the stress, especially today.
I keep replaying what happened with Anthony. He had to have been so scared with that gun pointed to his head. A tear falls free, and then another, and another, until I’m fully crying all over again. My eyes have stayed red and swollen with how much crying I've done lately. My emotions are being attacked, and they’re losing.
This can’t be real. My relationship with my brother can’t be comprised of me waiting for him to wake up from a coma. I just saw him earlier. He was fine. “He was fine," I repeat out loud, trying to work out the reality in my head. I play with the fuzzy suds, watching them pop and disintegrate as I figure everything out.
The world is falling apart all around me, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. No matter how many times I play the day over in my head, the outcome is the same.
“Ye okay?” Reilly knocks. I push some of the suds in front of my breasts so he couldn’t see them.
I roll my eyes at myself. It isn’t like he hadn’t seen him before. No need to be a prude now. “I will be. It’s just a lot to take in. I’m trying to understand it all.”
He gathers my hair that is hanging off the side of the tub and he takes the band I have off my wrist, putting my hair up into a bun. “Hopefully, after some dinner, a night of good rest, and information from the doctor tomorrow, things will make more sense.” Once my hair is on top of my head, Reilly digs his thumbs into my shoulders, massaging my tense muscles.
I groan and tilt my head to the side. “That feels so good.”
“Good. I’m glad I can do something to help ye right now.”
I turn my head, trying to look at him over my shoulder. “What about you? How are you? You’ve been so busy looking after me and everyone else, I haven’t even asked how you are. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. That’s yer family. Ye have a right to be thinking of just trying to get through the day. Ye don’t need to be thinking about my feelings.”
“I want to. And he is your family, too. You're family, Reilly.” I place my hand on top of his. “You’ve always been there for him when I couldn’t be. You’ve been better to him than I have been.”
He stops massaging me and kneels down beside the tub. “Hey, look at me.”
I lift my eyes from the water and meet his long lashes as they blink at me. No man should have eyelashes that pretty. “What?”
“He is your brother. Ye grew up with him. Sure, he and I had different experiences, but don’t try to make your pain sound less important, or less than mine, because it isn’t. Okay?”
I don’t say anything as I think about what he said.
“Okay?”
“Okay.” I clutch his hand, tracing a heart on his skin with water. “Come in the tub.”
“Love, there isn’t enough room for the both of us.”
“We’ll make room.”
“Ye sure, Gwenie?”
We might be a bit messy. We might fumble through this. But I know in my gut that we will make our way toward the finish line. I’ve never been so sure about something in my life, and right now, my emotions are high, and I don’t know if I told him that to make me feel better or because I want him close. “No, I’m not sure.”
He smiles at me and kisses my forehead. “I want ye to be sure. I left your pajamas on the bed. I’ll be downstairs. Oh, your parents are settled in, too. Yer mom is asleep. And a nice, big burger has yer name on it when yer ready, if ye think yer stomach can handle it. I know it’s been bothering ye lately. I’m sorry. I think that’s my fault.” He strokes my arm, causing suds to fall off.
“It isn’t your fault. It’s just life. It happens. A burger actually sounds really great. I’m starved. I’ll be down in a minute.”
He places a soft, quick kiss on my lips. Something that feels like it’s been done a hundred times. “I’ll be waiting, love.”
I have a feeling he means that in more ways than one.
I nod, unable to say anything as he walks away. The temperature in the room drops a few degrees after he leaves. The sexy, hot man takes the heat with him, leaving me cold and shivering. I drain the tub and stand up. My body has tons of suds all over it, so I walk over to the shower and spray myself off. There are a few white towels folded on a tier, and I wrap myself in one of them. Wow, they are so soft. I wonder if we could take them. Would they notice?
I need these.
Laying on the bed is a gray, over-sized T-shirt, along with sweatpants and a package of cotton panties. The gift store has panties? Talk about being prepared. I slide them on and put on the T-shirt, which is so big that it hangs to my knees. I decide against the sweatpants since this shirt is already more like a dress. Before I go downstairs, I check myself out in the full-body mirror that hangs on the wall.
I blow a piece of hair out of my face when I see how frumpy I look. “Could he have picked a bigger shirt?” I complain to myself, staring at the material in the mirror. The shirt has no shape. It was made for a linebacker. The short sleeves come down to my forearms, the hem of the shirt goes past my knees, and the pale, grayish color washes out my skin. To make it even worse, the shirt says ‘The Lodge’ across the breasts, except since the shirt is too big, it’s actually across my stomach. “There is no saving this.” I try tying it in a knot, but the knot looks huge on my hip.
“Fuck it. Whatever.” I descend the steps, smelling the food that’s waiting for me. I pause at the bottom and see that Reilly is wearing the same shirt, except it actually fit him. It even looks too small as it hugs all of his muscles. I open my mouth to ask if he wants to trade but I think better of it when I see his biceps bulging.
My stomach growls at the sight of my plate. There is a burger the size of my head with lettuce, tomato, pickle, mayo, bacon, and mustard on the bun, alongside a ton of fries. I run over to the plate and don’t even bother to sit down. I take the burger and shove it in my mouth, moaning as it melts against my tongue. So good.
“Damn, breathe. I don’t want ye to choke, Gwenie. Sit down. The food isn’t going anywhere.”
I sit on the bar stool and swallow, washing down the food with some water. “I’m sorry. I’m so hungry. I feel like I haven’t eaten in days.”
“I know. It’s alright. I just don’t want ye to choke. Just chew the darn thing.”
I take another bite, feeling mustard on my cheek. Maybe it’s mayo. I don’t care. I’m all in. This burger is about to get obliterated. “Where’s yours?”
“I’m sorry, what? I couldn’t hear ye with all the cow in your mouth.”
I snort and then cover my mouth, making sure he doesn’t see the cow rolling around inside. I swallow. “Where is yours?”
“Oh, I ate two already while I waited on ye. I was starved.”
“You ate two?” I ask, shoving a fry into my mouth.
“I’m a growing boy.” He slaps his stomach as he stretches, causing his shirt to rise. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know we shouldn’t have sex, but my libido is crazy right now. A little patch of skin shows on his stomach, along with his happy trail, and I shove the burger back in my face, trying to get my mind off his amazing body and big cock. I whimper around the burger, shoving another fry in my mouth when my clit starts to pulse.
“Gwen, seriously. Chew it. Yer going to choke. I’ve never seen you eat like this before.”
Just trying to get my mind off you…
I smile, keeping my mouth shut the best I can as I continue to eat. A few minutes later, I lick my fingers clean. All of my food is gone. And out of nowhere, exhaustion h
its me, and I yawn. “Wow. I’m so tired.”
“Food coma, plus a long day. Come on, let’s get ye to bed.” He picks me up and carries me up the steps.
My eyes droop, and I already feel like I’m half-asleep. “Thank you, Reilly, for always being there,” I whisper as he tucks me in.
“Anything for you, love.”
“You say that a lot.”
“What?” he asks, taking my hair out of the bun and rubbing his fingers over my scalp. He knows I’ll get a headache in the morning if I keep it in a hairband overnight.
“Love. You say love a lot.”
“Cause I love ye. Ye know that.”
“Sometimes...” I shut my eyes, letting the soft curve of the pillow take me under.
“I’ll work on that. I always want ye to know.”
“You know I love you, too, right?” My voice is laced with sleepiness as I yawn. I feel a bit drunk. That food coma is no joke.
“Sometimes.” His lips press against my cheek as he lays beside me and puts his arms around me, pulling me close to him.
I turn over, nestling my head on his hairy chest. “I’ll have to work on that.”
“We’ll work on it together.”
Chapter Thirty
Reilly
The room is still dark when I wake up. Gwen’s head rests on my chest, making me feel like the luckiest man in the world. I lie in bed with my fake fiancée, who I desperately want to be real. I know she only agreed to marry me to save the pub, but I hope there is a part of her that agreed because she wants to be mine, too. I can’t remember when we became so messy, but I guess it was before she moved back home. Sure, we had stayed away from one another, but things were always a tangled mess between us. Well, at least they were on the inside for me.
I run my fingers through her silky hair, careful not to tug through the tangles. She lets out a sleepy sigh, turning opposite of me. My chest feels cold and bare now, but I get up anyway. I make my way down the steps and turn on the coffee pot, staring at the spot where she inhaled that entire burger last night. I have never seen her eat so fast in my life. I had been worried she would choke, but damn, the lady was just starved. I don’t blame her, especially because she’s been sick for the last couple days, I tell myself that if she is sick again today, I’ll take her to see a doctor.
My phone beeps, and it’s Brock asking how things are going. The entire town knows what happened. Anthony and I have so many people reaching out to us. The support is evident. I love that about small-town life, but in a similar sense, they are the same ones who are quick to judge. Brock isn’t, though. He is a good lad and tells me that he can open the bar while I’m gone, if I want him to.
I sent a quick reply back telling him that Anthony had made it out of surgery but was in a coma, and then I set my phone aside. I lean over the table with the mug in my hand, staring outside through the windows. I wish the view was better because staring outside at the hospital only makes my stomach drop, and I just worry about Anthony even more. I take a sip of my coffee, wondering when life became so chaotic, and why.
I check the time on the stove, seeing that I have a few more hours until we can go to the hospital. Fuck, I don’t know what I’ll do if they give us more bad news today. I’ve been keeping it together for Gwen and her family, but I’m cracking, and it won’t take much else to push me over the edge. I have to remain calm, though, because Gwen needs me.
“You’re up early,” her sleepy voice says as she comes down the steps.
I smile as she scratches her head. She has the worst bedhead I have ever seen, but I love it. Her eyes are still closed, like she’s half-asleep. “I am, but what are ye doing up?”
She lays her head on my chest again. “I couldn’t get comfortable without you there.”
I kiss her forehead and embrace her, bringing her closer to my body. “It’s 'cause I’m so warm, right?”
She giggles. “I won’t lie and say it doesn’t help. I think it’s all your hair.” Her cheeks rub against my beard.
“Good, because it ain’t going anywhere.”
“I don’t want it to.” She rubs a little harder.
I hiss. “Ow, that hurts, woman. It’s getting all tangled.” I laugh to make sure she knows I’m kidding.
“Aw. We can’t have that, can we?” she asks, kissing my chest.
“That feels good.”
She moves over, placing a kiss right above my left nipple. “Here?”
“Aye, there. Right there is good.” I tilt my head back as her lips ghost over my skin, making my breath shake and my body tremble. My cock starts to plump, and I take a step back. “We should probably get ready to go.” I wrap my hand around the mug, bringing the rim to my lips.
She pulls her shirt over her head and her beautiful face disappears for a second before she tosses the top over her shoulder. Her hair tumbles down over her shoulders in messy waves, covering her bare breasts. The curve of her breasts tease my senses and my fingers twitch, begging to reach out and test the weight of them in my palms.
“What are ye doing, Gwenie?” I ask, my voice husky and deep.
“If you need to ask, then I’m doing it wrong.” She takes a step forward, rubbing her hands down her body and fingering the edge of her panties.
“You don’t want this.”
“I do want this. I want to feel something other than worry.” Her finger runs down my chest, tugging on my pants.
“Gwenie, I only have so much control.”
“I don’t want you to have control. I want you to lose it. We don’t have to think about what it means. I know we are in a tough spot, but let’s just enjoy how we feel about each other right now.”
“It means everything, love. You know that.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to think about that. I just want to feel you inside of me.” She slips off her panties, standing fully bare in front of me. That little patch of hair above her petals, complete with her tiny heart tattoo, drives me wild. I want to bury my nose in it, inhaling her honey scent and kissing her.
I want to ravish her.
“Make me feel good, Reilly. Don’t think about it. I’m tired of thinking.” She moves her hair away, flipping it over her back. Her tits are like beacons staring right at me. They hypnotize me, putting me under a spell.
My fists clench and my breath exhales like a bull. My cock tents my sweatpants as lust pumps the thick muscle to full mass. I charge to her, dipping my head down and taking her mouth in a passionate kiss. I can hardly breathe. My lungs suffocate under the passion boiling between us. I squeeze her breasts. Her ribcage. Her hips. I pick her up by her ass and dig my fingers into her full body. She wraps her legs around my waist, her slit hugging my shaft and rocking against it.
I rip my lips away from hers for a second, inhaling some air before diving back in. She makes me feel wild. My blood simmers under my skin, and I want to grip her harder, but I know that it would hurt her, and I never want to do that. I just… I shake with need. I can’t contain myself.
My skin gets hot, my erection aches, and her nipples kiss mine. I flip positions as I lie her down atop the kitchen island. Her arms cage her head as she stretches out, placing them above her head. Her hair splays over the white countertop. Her olive skin glows beneath it, and she seems more enchanting than ever in this moment.
My hands run up her legs, loving how smooth her skin is and how she arches into my touch, like she needs more of me.
I kiss her inner thigh, sinking deep between her legs and staring at her honey pot. She gleams as her nectar leaves a light sheen against her sheath. I run my nose up her flower and inhale the sweet scent. It tickles my insides, making my mouth water. I swallow the saliva and spread her lips wide, staring at the hood that protects her small, sensitive pearl.
“Reilly!" she exclaims. Her hands fist my hair, shoving herself in my face. My lips hit her folds and her juice invades my lips. Beads of her flavor hit my tongue, bursting over my tastebuds and making my
eyes roll to the back of my head as I flatten my tongue against her. She shouts, thrusting her hips into my face as I lavish her.
I shove my pants down, needing some type of relief. My hand wraps around my cock, giving it a good, hard stroke. I break the kiss from her essence and whimper my way into her hole. My thumb dips into the slit at the top of my cock, gathering the drop of pre-come, and I curse because it felt too good. I let go of my cock and rest my forehead on her thigh, trying to calm myself. I could come at any moment.
“Reilly?”
“I need a second, love. Ye feel too good.” I can hardly catch my breath. My entire body shakes as I try to control myself.
She sits up, scratching her nails along my abdomen and lifting my face, then smashing her mouth against me. I yank myself away and fish a condom out of the pocket of my sweatpants. I carry condoms everywhere and anywhere now because I never know when the mood could strike with her.
I hold the wrapper in front of her lips and her teeth bite into the foil, ripping it just enough. “Fuck, that’s so hot,” I growl, rolling the condom on until it snaps around the base of my root. I yelp a bit from the sting and check to see if I ripped it. “Oh, good.”
“What?” she whimpers, gripping the edge of the island.
“Nothing. I thought…it doesn’t matter.” I crawl up her body, kissing the little heart tattoo next to her peach. I lick and nip at her rib cage, gliding my tongue up and over her large mountains until I reach her neck, leaving a bite.
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