by K. I. Lynn
I want to scream. Break things. I want to tear out my own motherfucking hair.
My body is motionless. Incapable of moving. Signals fire off in my brain, commands sent to limbs that have no plans of responding.
Austin’s face was destroyed.
So was Brayden’s.
They almost killed each other, and it’s all my fault.
Most girls would be thrilled that two guys fought over them to that extent. I’m just sick to my stomach. On the verge of a panic attack. I’m worried for Austin.
But I’m fucking terrified for Brayden.
Is he okay? Oh God, he needs stitches. What if he gets a concussion? Austin had pounded into his ribs really bad. What if something was cracked? Are they taking him straight to the hospital for a checkup?
I can’t think straight. Can’t function.
“Kira!”
I recognize the voice calling out to me, but I don’t respond to it.
This is going to go on Brayden’s record. There’s no way it’s not. I don’t know enough about the law to even begin guessing how this is going to affect his future.
A hand lands on my shoulder, and I’m urged to turn around. It’s Ashley. She’s panting, blue eyes worried. Distantly, I wonder where the other girls are. I lost sight of them when Austin approached me.
“Are you okay?” Ashley asks me.
A sob catches in my throat and I shake my head. “M-my fault.”
She squeezes my shoulder. “What?”
“This is all my fault,” I whisper, trying to hold back the tears. My attitude pushed Brayden to this point. I should’ve been more upfront with Austin, done an even better job of pushing him away. Had I done so, he wouldn’t have come up to me today.
Had I been kinder to Brayden, he would’ve never felt threatened by Austin’s presence.
I pushed both of them to this point because I was too mentally fucked up to do right by either of them.
“Come on. I lost Lyn and Jenna in the crowd. We need to find them so Jenna can drive us to the precinct.” Ashley grabs my hand.
I’m thankful one of us has a clear head. Without her, I’d probably still be rooted to the same spot.
We walk a few feet through the crowd. I see Ashley looking around for the other girls; my mind still can’t focus past the back of her head. Brayden’s keys and phone are clutched tight in my hands, along with his broken glasses that I picked up off the ground during the fight. My hands are braced against my broken heart.
“There they are!” Ashley points at her sister about thirty feet away from us, and we head in that direction.
Is it me, or are most of the people we pass turning to stare at me? I know a lot of them, too. People both Brayden and I went to school with. Austin hadn’t been too discreet when hurling his accusations at Brayden. I wonder how much of that did these people hear.
Probably all of it.
Even more probable? By tomorrow afternoon, this entire town will be aflame with gossip about how I’m fucking my stepbrother.
I’m going to care about this tomorrow. I’ll be furious with Austin. He loves me, but he practically ruined a good portion of my life because he couldn’t keep one of my most important secrets to himself.
I’ve hurt that man. More than I had any right to. I will hurt him again the next time I see him because I’m finally going to make it clear to him that we’re never going to happen. Ever.
But that doesn’t erase what he’s done.
Right now, though, I don’t care about any of that. I can’t. Getting to Brayden, making sure he’s okay, is all that matters.
“Yo!” Ashley calls out.
Marilyn and Jenna’s heads snap in our direction. They jog in our direction, both of them staring at me worriedly.
I don’t even know what the fuck to say.
“Dude,” Jenna says. “I want to crack a joke about how fucking lucky you are, but your expression tells me it’s not the right time.”
I roll my eyes at her.
“We need to get her to the precinct,” Ashley tells her, letting go of my hand. And that’s all it takes for the four of us to start pushing our way through the crowd. We make it to Jenna’s car and she presses the button to unlock the doors.
I open one of the back doors.
“You’re fucking disgusting.”
All four of us freeze.
There’s no need to turn around and see who that is. I know. An old, familiar anger burns through my veins.
“Do us a favor,” Marilyn sneers, looking like she’s ready to storm around the car and start throwing punches. “Leave her the fuck alone before we make you.”
“Oh? Is the little girl incapable of defending herself?”
That’s it.
I spin around, my free hand fisting. Jennifer’s malicious, narrowed eyes focus on my other hand, the one holding Brayden’s phone and keys, and they narrow even further.
She knows this is his phone.
She knows it because this bitch has the bad habit of paying way too much attention to my fucking man.
“Do you want me to break your face?” I ask her slowly, calmly.
“You mean like Austin had to do to poor Brayden because of your slutty ass?”
Her arms are crossed. Her posture is entirely defensive. This cunt is preparing herself for my attack and she’s afraid of it, yet she has the nerve to still goad me.
“When are you going to stop being the pathetic bitch who sucks every dick you can find while waiting, praying, hoping that Brayden one day looks beyond how cheap you are and falls in love with you?”
Everyone around me gasps.
Jennifer’s mouth falls open, her face paling.
I meant every word. At this point, nothing in the world could make me take them back. So I stand here, eyes on hers, waiting for whatever comes my way after that statement.
The last thing I want is to be delayed from going to Brayden.
But so help me God, if this bitch doesn’t realize in this moment that it’s in her best interest to back the fuck off away from what’s mine, I think I’m going to kill her.
The next round of cop cars that arrive will have to bring an ambulance in tow.
Jennifer snaps her mouth closed, practically shaking with her fury. “You have so much fucking nerve, little girl. Who the hell do you think you are? You’re fucking your stepbrother, and you think you have the right to believe you’re better than me?”
I knew this was coming, but my stomach bottoms out regardless.
She knows now. Without a doubt, she knows.
If the whole town didn’t know before, I give it a matter of hours before it’s all over the grapevine.
“She could be fucking the pope and every crack-dealing pimp within a two state radius, and guess what, whore?” Ashley sneers. “She’d still be fucking better than you!”
Despite everything going on, that comment makes me want to laugh.
I love my girls.
Jennifer glares at Ashley, but it doesn’t take her long to redirect her venom back at me. “What are you going to do when everyone finds out about you and Brayden, huh?”
My first impulse is to tell her, “It doesn’t matter, bitch, because I’ll still be the one fucking that cock.” I want to spite her. Lay a claim on what’s mine.
Something holds me back. Jennifer is studying me just as hard as I’m studying her. As if . . .
She’s unsure.
This bitch is probing. Looking for proof. She’s not as certain of what’s happening between me and Brayden as she’s pretending to be.
It makes me sick to my stomach, but I have to deny it. Lie. What’s happening to Brayden is bad enough. The last thing we need to handle right now is the social implosion this would cause us if Jennifer decided to spread her suspicions.
God, I hate this chick. Now more than ever.
“You should try learning your lesson and moving on, Jenn. Maybe then you wouldn’t be jealous of every girl he spends time wit
h instead of you.” I turn to get into the car.
“You’re the only girl he spends time with!”
Damn right. Because right now, his body is mine. His heart, too. I just don’t know how long I’ll own both.
Not that it’s going to stop me from going to him.
“You think you know the truth about me and him, but you don’t know shit.” It’s the last thing I tell her. I’m the first one to get into the car. My friends take a bit longer, and I know it’s because they’re staring Jennifer down, daring her to say something else about me.
Eventually, Jennifer turns to leave, and one by one my friends get into the car.
“What a fucking skank.” Marilyn slams the front passenger door closed.
Jenna gets into the driver’s side. “I want to slice her face apart. I know that’s probably wrong of me to say, but I’d love to disfigure the bitch for life.”
“It’s not wrong. She has it coming.” Ashley gets in last. “I don’t know how we’re going to keep her from running her mouth.”
I don’t either, and I can’t think on it. Jennifer’s gone. My mind fixates on Brayden once more and how worried I am for him. I don’t know what possesses me to try looking into his phone.
Jenna’s driving as fast as she legally can. When I swipe my thumb across the screen, I almost gasp with shock. There’s no passcode. It automatically takes me to the home page, and the first thing I see is my picture.
It’s a picture of me sleeping in his bed, my arms curled around one of his pillows. He caught me with the sunlight illuminating my features, and goddamn it, there’s a smile on my face.
I’d probably been dreaming about him. About all the things he’d done to me the night before.
Heart in my throat, I open up his gallery.
Me.
Nothing but my pictures as far as I can freaking see.
In a lot of them, I’m asleep. In others, I’m awake and he somehow managed to catch me unaware.
Others are from my Facebook. He must have downloaded close to a dozen of my pics.
“Oh, Brayden,” I whisper, closing my eyes as two tears leak out. Yes, it’s his fault he engaged Austin. Both their faults that they couldn’t control themselves.
I can’t get out of my head how vicious the fight was.
They’d been two men out to truly kill each other. Had the cops not arrived, God knows what would have happened to either one of them.
I don’t know what’s going to happen to Brayden now. His father still pays for his college tuition. He’s going to kill Brayden when he finds out about this.
More tears leak out.
Afraid one of the girls will see, I try to surreptitiously wipe away the tears and turn my head to stare out the window. It takes me a while to even realize I’m hugging Brayden’s phone to my chest tightly.
Ashley rubs my shoulder soothingly again—her go-to comfort move. “Kira?”
“Hm?” I don’t look at her.
“I know there’s a lot of bad feelings between you and Brayden, that he hurt you really bad in the past. Even if you don’t tell us the details, it’s obvious.”
I have no idea where she’s going with this, so I remain quiet.
“Have you ever entertained the idea that . . .” She pauses, and I hear her take a deep breath. “Girl,” she says in a low tone. “I think it’s obvious you’re still in love with him.”
It’s like being stabbed in the chest, but it’s something I had already admitted to myself deep, deep down.
I still love that crazy, stubborn asshole.
It’s why I’m in this car heading to him. Why I, without responding to Ashley, beg Jenna to go faster.
It’s the most frightening, uncertain moment of my life.
For all I know, by tonight, the entire town will be filled with the rumor that I’m sleeping with my stepbrother.
By tonight, Brayden’s father might ruin his life further and decide to no longer help him with college.
This might go on Brayden’s record and fuck up a lot of his employment opportunities in the future.
I have no clue if I can forgive him enough to be good to him. If I can fix myself enough to stop mistreating him.
All I do know for a fact is that, yes, I still love him. And nothing, absolutely nothing, is going to stop me from being by his side.
Need part 3
Coming 2016