by Jolie Damman
More than anything, I knew this was going to last.
Chapter 13
Sizzling Worries
Angelo
Isqueezed the trigger. The bullet blasted through the dirty air and hit the man. He was one of the Ancelottis, and was hiding Vinicio from me. Ever since he escaped me that night after he shot me, he managed to hide somewhere else.
Where? That was what I was attempting to find out.
I lowered my hand and Prudenzio appeared from behind me. His hands were holding his pistol. It glistened under the light of the sun that penetrated through the windows of this abandoned compound.
“Boss, I didn’t think you were all alone here.”
“I told you to keep up with me. Now, let’s search.”
Search.
Yeah, right.
I doubted Vinicio was still here. No wonder father wanted him back so badly. He was good at hiding and not letting us get him.
We padded to the other side of the compound. A door stood there. It was semi-open, and I swung it all the way. The air puffed up the dust on the cement floor.
Prudenzio headed to the other side of the small chamber, where he then opened another door and walked through it.
It seemed he had found something.
I didn’t care what it was. I had something more important to do here.
I needed a clue. Nothing more than that. Just one little thing to tell me where I could find my brother.
I was tired of playing cat and mouse with him all the time.
I took a step forward, and my eyes landed on a piece of newspaper. It was just left on the dirty and cracked floor. In the meantime, my mind was barely aware of the chirping of the birds outside.
They were acting like nothing of this mattered.
I wished I could be as carefree as them.
Their happiness almost reminded me of Alide.
She was the woman of my life, and I was thinking of telling her about the marriage. More than anything now, she needed to know about it. It wouldn’t be right to keep it a secret for a day longer.
I picked up the piece of newspaper and read the title.
Infertile Man Who Became Famous On Twitter Parts With His Wife And Both Of Them Think They Will Never Be The Same Again.
My heart stopped for a bit. Infertile man. I had read his story before. This was a continuation of it.
He didn’t break up with her because of his infertility, right?
I read on.
The wife mentioned how badly she wanted a baby. It was the thing I needed the most. Without my baby, I feel wrong. But my husband can’t give me one. He can’t make me pregnant. I’m lost.
And I need some time away from him.
I couldn’t be sure now if they were the couple I had read about before. Did that even matter, though? The essence of the story was the same, regardless of the people involved in it.
Infertile man broke up with his wife.
She mentioned why.
And it was his infertility.
That’s why I didn’t put on a condom when I entered Alide. I knew nothing was going to happen.
She made no queries about my choice. Maybe she even knew why.
Perhaps, she was aware of my pain for a long time already.
Whatever was the case, the story brought a tear to my eye. I would never have a child of my own with Alide. She was always going to want one, and I wasn’t going to be able to provide it to her.
I was an aberration. I didn’t deserve her love.
“Boss, is everything alright?” Prudenzio asked, leaning in through the doorway.
I blinked to get rid of the tear. “Yeah, I’m fine. Come on. Let’s get out. He isn’t here.”
“As you command,” he remarked before heading out and proceeding to the Chrysler parked in front of the compound.
The place was surrounded by trees, grass and other kinds of vegetation. It wouldn’t be long until nature finished reclaiming the place.
I sat behind the steering wheel. I had a lot to think about, and Alide did make me think I was right for her.
But was I really?
She still didn’t know about my sterility, after all…
✽ ✽ ✽
She took my hand and we left the statue. It stood proud and magnificent on top of the huge pedestal. It was a nice gift from the French, back when the Americans were fighting for their independence.
Back then, it was all that mattered.
Things were so much different and simpler during those times.
We walked down the stairs and headed to the circular area that surrounded the statue. It’s where we had a path that provided us with an incredible view of New York in the distance. The One World Trade Center building stood proud on the horizon, and it made the Empire State building look small in comparison.
It was just so bad we couldn’t visit it right now, though.
Alide would love to be able to see everything tiny from up there, I was sure.
We reached the aforementioned path that surrounded Fort Wood and continued on it. Alide was so happy she couldn’t contain herself. She wasn’t walking, but bouncing, like she had no idea how to behave herself in a place with so many tourists.
I was nearly asking her to stop it.
I didn’t want the Canadians and Australians thinking less of us.
Of course, to them, we looked like normal American citizens.
We were anything but, but they still thought that. We didn’t look much different, after all.
We stopped by the metal wailing leaned on it. Her hand was still holding mine.
“It’s so lovely here.”
“It is.”
“You know this is my first time coming here?”
I turned my head to hers, and she giggled. “You don’t need to look that surprised.”
I shook my head. “Everybody who lives in New York eventually comes to the statue. It’s like one of those things you simply have to do.”
“Not me. I’ve been a Brooklyn girl my whole life, and the statue reeks of Manhattan and its arrogance. They always think they are so better than us Brooklyians.
Brooklyians? That was a new term to me. Maybe I was arrogant like everyone else in Manhattan.
Still, I wasn’t going to admit something like that in front of her.
Not when we were sharing such a good moment.
The waves crashed shily against the structure and rocks of the island, and people of different backgrounds walked behind us. Most of them spoke different languages.
There was nothing quite like visiting the Statue of Liberty.
Well, to be honest, probably the statue of Jesus in Rio was more stunning, but this one wasn’t a far cry from it.
“I’m not like them,” I boasted.
She shook her head, either agreeing or disagreeing with me.
For a moment, I didn’t know which to believe.
She then smiled, and I knew it was all okay.
Egotistical or not, she enjoyed my company.
Alide grabbed my hand and said, “Thank you for taking me here.”
Seconds of silence ensued. We were admiring and cherishing the view in the distance. There was nothing quite like New York when it was being seen from here.
I was thinking about taking Alide to Chicago. That would give us a bird’s eye view of this city and, also, of that one.
I was sure she would love it.
And then she expressed, “I was thinking… I would love to have a child.”
She smiled. It was nothing more than an innocent dream thrown in the air.
She meant nothing by it.
But seeing the glee of content and hope in her eyes… I couldn’t help but feel desperate.
How wrong was I? I wasn’t good enough for her. She would think less of me and maybe… even dump me for someone better. Someone who wasn’t infertile. I knew thinking that right now was crazy, but my mind was so paranoid.
And the worst thing about it?
It was
that the suspicion wasn’t unsubstantiated.
I had read and heard far too many stories of men who got dumped by their girlfriends and wives once they learned something about them – it didn’t have to be the same problem as mine – that prevented them from forming a complete couple.
And the infertility thing… that was one of them.
I cleared my throat and she giggled. “If you aren’t ready for it yet, it’s okay. I was thinking about something else, in fact.”
I kind of dreaded asking her what it was, but I did so anyway.
“I want to marry you,” she said, and that’s when I knew she was finally ready for the truth.
Alide
I told him about the marriage thing. I was just joking. Well, not joking that much, to be honest. There was a flake of truth to it.
I just didn’t feel like telling him all of it.
Not when we were having a good time and I didn’t want to worry him about other things. His brother, Vinicio, and dad were already enough on his plate. If anything, he needed my help.
And I was more than willing to be there to provide support for him.
The customers were now leaving the Bello Italiano. The sun was setting in the distance. We didn’t keep it open until late at night. We did make pizzas and everything one could expect from an Italian restaurant, but this place was different.
It was more family-friendly, despite the Mafia owners.
Thinking that brought a smile to my face.
The place was growing serene. There was only an old couple sitting at one of the round tables. They were chatting like they had nothing to worry about.
And I knew what people talked about me.
“Oh, you always seem like you don’t worry about anything.”
But it was a misperception. I did worry.
A lot.
I opened the door to the back compartment of the Bello Italiano, where we had the kitchen and the offices. That’s when I heard a grunt followed by a scream.
Was someone in pain?
I needed to find out what was going on.
If it was Angelo and he needed my help again…
The first thing I would do would be to call his dad. He made it clear I couldn’t end up sending him to a normal hospital.
I hurried to where the screams and shouting were coming from. There were more people involved in the altercation.
Men were.
I halted in front of the door. It had a rectangular glass for a window in the top section of it. It was too high for me, but going on my toes was enough to allow me to peek at what was transpiring inside the room.
My heart vaulted.
Angelo and his old men were both standing in the middle of the room, and they were smiling.
Smiling like what was happening there was a good thing.
I raised myself higher on my toes and discovered something that made my heart stop for a second.
They tied a man to a chair.
He couldn’t move.
One of his eyes was swollen and I questioned myself if he had lost it.
His face was brushed with bruises and cuts.
A line of blood was coursing from the corner of his mouth.
His head was lolled down.
They were torturing him.
I felt my legs weak, and then gasped.
Shit. I shouldn’t have done that, and most of all, I shouldn’t be here.
I rushed to the other side of the hallway and hid behind a wall. The door to the torture room crept open.
Someone must be, right now, sticking his head out to find out if someone was spying on them. The last thing I needed was Mr. Romani’s wrath breathing down my neck. He could ruin me, and more than anything, I needed to stay on his good side.
I needed the money for Luca’s treatment and medicine.
The door closed with a soft thud, and I exhaled. My heart was racing so much I thought it was going to burst through my chest.
I was sweating too. I didn’t think I would ever witness something like that in my life.
Let alone in the Bello Italiano.
And here I was thinking the place was family-friendly. To people who had no idea what was going on in here, it was. Ignorance really is a bliss, isn’t it?
I opened the door to the changing room and took off my work uniform. I changed back to my short jeans pants and red top before going out to wait for Angelo.
The sentence wait for him felt heavier in my mind now.
Despite being so lovely to me, there was no denying he was still part of a Mafia family.
The Romanis.
I almost forgot who I was dealing with this whole time. I shouldn’t have let that happen. I should have always remembered he wasn’t the kind of man I could mess around with.
I was sure he was more than ready to kill me and Luca if he needed to.
He was currently going for his brother’s head, after all…
Chapter 14
Growing Uncertainties
Alide
Itook a sip from my red wine glass and put it down on the edge of the roof of the building. The sun was setting in the distance, and dare I say, this was the best view I’d seen my whole life.
Even better than the one in Liberty Island, to be honest.
I could see the people walking on the sidewalks down below without a care in the world. Some were holding hands. Valentine’s Day was approaching, so the citizens of New York – and of the rest of the country – were getting ready for it.
Cars ambled on the roads with a touch of serenity that impressed me. Little Italy’s streets were narrow, and drivers needed to be mindful at all times.
Angelo took a drag off his cigarette and exhaled a large plume of smoke.
His arm was around my shoulders. He was warm and comforting, but there was something different about him.
And I should be honest with myself again.
Something was different about me too. I couldn’t be all touchy and agitated with him like we usually were. Seeing him making a man suffer for information and pleasure punctured my mind with memories I thought I had long buried.
But it all came back.
It all sprouted to life again.
And now, I wasn’t sure anymore I wanted to marry him.
Angelo hadn’t done much already other than to have talked about the next movie he wanted to watch with me, Luca’s progress, brushed over a possible marriage, and also mentioned some other more mundane things that escaped my mind at the moment.
I sighed a few seconds before he asked, “Is something bugging you?”
“No, I’m fine. Nothing is bugging me.”
A moment of silence. He was assessing if he should push on.
Was he thinking the same thing?
Was he feeling I was distant too?
I didn’t want to make him think that of me, but still… it wasn’t like he was helping me.
“You know, if there’s something you’d like to tell me, you should do so now.”
“But I don’t have anything to talk about with you right now.”
He shook his head. “There is something you are keeping from me.”
When he opened his mouth to say one more thing, I piped up, “I’m not hiding anything. I’m like an open book right now.”
I smiled and hoped my smile was persuasive enough, but I had no idea if it was.
He turned his head to look to the horizon, where the heart of Manhattan stood.
A long moment of silence ensued.
“I just think we should be truthful to each other. Hiding something will only make things worse.”
I studied my next words, and also his expression.
I couldn’t turn this into him breaking up with me.
Most of all, I needed Angelo. I loved him.
“Well, there’s something I have been avoiding to tell you...” I at last revealed.
“I knew there was.”
I could rebuke him right now.
But
decided to keep my mouth shut. For the time being, that was better.
“It’s just that you are looking and feeling different today.” I paused. “And to be honest, it’s not just today. You’ve changed these last weeks.”
He took another drag off his cigarette and blew the smoke out.
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” he said matter-of-factly.
“But there is something. Your eyes look concerned – more so than when there’s something that involves your brother.”
His pupils examined me for seconds, and I projected he wasn’t going to reply.
That’s when he proved me wrong.
“Did you ever ask yourself why you didn’t become pregnant after that night?”
I shook my head. I didn’t think about that. It was good – very good – but was there something special about it?
A tear rolled down his cheek, glistening under the moonlight.
“I am infertile, Alide. I can’t give you a child.”
I covered my mouth with my hand, almost gasping. A car’s horn blared in the distance as someone shouted figlio di puttana.
I looked down, in shame.
So, that was why. Why he was different now…
I thought he was going to break up with me or something worse.
I didn’t know he had to deal with something like that his whole life.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed on.”
“No, it’s fine.” He turned his head and there was a gentle smirk on his face. “I’m glad you’ve asked me about it.”
I shook my head. “But it isn’t right. You don’t have to beat yourself up because of something like that.” I settled my hand on his shoulder. “I don’t need kids anyway to be happy with you.” I opened a wayward smile. “Luca is already a lot on my plate anyway.”
He chuckled. “C’mon. He’s a good kid, and I know you love him.”
I locked my eyes with his, gazing, and for a moment, seconds of mutual understanding ensued. He knew his condition didn’t bother me, and I could almost forget about the torture thing he did a couple of days ago.
I wasn’t going to forget it completely, though.
It was going to be in my mind for a long time.
But, for the time being, I could think of it as nothing more than a blimp in the life of the man I wanted to marry.
Angelo