Suddenly Gemma longed to say that he was the registrar who’d performed Dorothy’s angioplasty. Instead, she took a deep breath and said, ‘Daisy’s father is a doctor, but he isn’t my husband—I’m not married.’
The other woman looked surprised then, as realisation set in, faintly embarrassed. ‘Oh, Gemma,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…’
‘That’s OK. I know you didn’ t,’ Gemma assured her. ‘It doesn’t matter, honestly it doesn’ t.’
Stephen was writing up notes when Gemma returned to the nurses’ station. He looked up. ‘I’ve written up new medication for Tristan,’ he said.
‘There isn’t a problem, is there?’ Gemma asked anxiously. She knew as well as anyone that Tristan’s situation was still critical and that complications could arise at any point.
‘I hope not.’ Stephen paused. ‘I don’t think so, but we’ll need to keep a close eye on him.’ He carried on writing for a moment then looked up again at Gemma. ‘Are you coming down to the club to have a drink with Kim?’
‘I don’t know if I can—’ she began.
‘Go on, Gemma.’ His eyes met hers. ‘Please.’
‘All right…maybe.’
He smiled and her heart turned over. Whenever he looked at her like that, in that special way that she remembered so well, she was utterly lost as all the old feelings came flooding back. She knew she shouldn’t be going to the club. It was late and she was tired and she should be getting home, she had things to do, things she certainly couldn’t tell Stephen about. On the other hand, because she was on a late shift her mother would have got Daisy to bed. But she knew that if she hurried home she would sometimes be in time to see Daisy before the little girl went to sleep.
As the shift ended Gemma made her way to the staff cloakroom and picked up the pay phone to ring Jill. If Daisy was still awake she would go straight home, she told herself, and that would decide it.
‘Hello, Mum, it’s me,’ she said when her mother answered.
‘Hello, Gemma, is everything all right?’ Jill sounded faintly anxious. Gemma rarely rang her from the hospital.
‘Yes, everything’s fine. Mum, is Daisy asleep?’
‘Yes, darling, she is,’ Jill replied. ‘She was dog-tired. She fell asleep soon after her bath.’
‘Oh. Oh, I see.’
Jill must have caught the hesitancy in Gemma’s voice. ‘Why?’ she asked. ‘Did you want to go somewhere?’
‘Well, it’s just that some of the others are going to the club for a celebration drink and they’ve asked me to go.’
‘You go, Gemma,’ said Jill. ‘There’s no need for you to rush home.’
‘But you baby-sat for me on Saturday…’
‘Gemma, love, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here. Daisy’s sound asleep so enjoy yourself.’
‘Well, if you’re sure.’ Gemma was aware that her pulse had quickened.
‘Of course I’m sure,’ said Jill. ‘You go and have a nice time. What was it you said—a celebration? Someone’s birthday?’
‘No, not a birthday.’ Gemma smiled. ‘It’s a bit more than that—but I’ll tell you all about it when I get home. I won’t be late, Mum.’
‘Don’t hurry back, Gemma,’ said her mother. ‘Have fun.’
In the staff changing room she changed out of her uniform into a long cotton skirt and a white top, and had just unfastened her hair and was brushing it loose when Mia and Pauline came into the room, together with Alex.
‘Well, I must say, this is a turn-up for the book,’ said Pauline as she also changed out of her uniform. ‘Fancy our Kim being pregnant.’
‘I think it’s wonderful,’ sighed Mia. ‘Dead romantic. Now she and Dean will get married and live happily ever after.’
‘Hardly,’ snorted Pauline. ‘What planet have you come from? It’s problems from here on in—isn’t that right, Gemma?’ She turned to Gemma and raised her eyebrows. ‘Dirty nappies, sleepless nights, squalling babies—and that’s just for starters. After that comes relationship problems, then separation and divorce and finally the delights of a single-parent family.’
‘Hey, steady on, Pauline,’ protested Gemma. ‘They aren’t even married yet. Give them a chance. And, besides, there’s nothing to say it has to be like that. Some couples marry and have a family and really do live happily ever after.’
‘Didn’t work like that for you, though, did it?’ Pauline raised one eyebrow and Alex sniggered.
‘No, it didn’ t,’ said Gemma, struggling to keep calm, ‘but, then, I was never married, so it was a bit different for me.’
‘So what happened?’ asked Alex, eyeing her speculatively. ‘Didn’t your bloke stay around long enough to find out what it was like?’
‘Not at all,’ said Gemma coolly. ‘I simply chose to bring up my daughter on my own, that’s all.’
‘But what about now?’ said Pauline. ‘I bet it cramps your style having a child in tow.’
‘Well, if it does,’ said Mia with a laugh, ‘it’s not that obvious. Gemma gets plenty of attention. Look at Stephen Preston—he can hardly take his eyes off her. It certainly doesn’t seem to bother him that Gemma is a single mum.’
‘He probably doesn’t know,’ said Pauline.
To Gemma’s relief some of the others came into the changing room at that moment and the subject was forgotten. At last, together with Mia, she made her way down to the ground floor then out of the main hospital building and across the grounds to the social club.
The club was crowded but Gemma saw Stephen straight away, standing at the bar, talking to Kim and Dean.
‘Gemma!’ exclaimed Kim as Gemma approached the group at the bar. ‘What are you having to drink?’
‘Just a lemonade, please, Kim. I’m driving.’ Gemma turned to Dean and gave him a kiss on the cheek. ‘Congratulations, Dean,’ she said. ‘I’m delighted to hear your news.’
‘Well, I thought it was time I made an honest woman of her,’ said Dean with a grin at Kim’s back as she ordered drinks from the bar.
‘Quite right, too,’ said Stephen with a chuckle. ‘Especially now that you’re to be a father.’
Gemma took her drink from Kim and raised the glass. ‘Cheers,’ she said. ‘Here’s to you both and to the baby. I hope you’ll all be very happy.’ She took a mouthful of her lemonade.
‘I’ll second that,’ said Stephen. As Pauline and Alex suddenly appeared at the bar and Kim and Dean turned to them to ask what they wanted to drink, he turned to Gemma. ‘Shall we go and sit down?’ he asked, nodding to the far side of the club. ‘It’s a bit quieter over there.’
Gemma hesitated for only a moment then she nodded and began to follow him.
Alex was still at the bar, talking to Dean and Kim, but as Gemma drew level with her she turned and said, ‘Isn’t that right, Gemma?’ She spoke loudly so that Stephen couldn’t fail to hear her.
‘Isn’t what right?’ Gemma paused and Stephen also stopped and turned.
There was a half-smile on Alex’s face. ‘I was just telling Dean,’ she said, ‘to make the most of his social life before the baby’s born, because afterwards it’ll all go to pot.’
‘Er…yes, I suppose it might.’ Gemma tried to edge past Alex but it was obvious the other girl hadn’t finished.
‘Mind you,’ she went on in the same loud tone, ‘I suppose in your case it’s a bit different because you have a built-in babysitter, what with living with your mother and all that…’
‘Babysitter?’ Stephen stopped and looked from Gemma to Alex a puzzled frown on his face.
‘Oh, yes,’ said Alex. ‘Gemma has a baby. Didn’t you know?’ She arched her eyebrows then she gave an offhand little shrug before turning back to the bar.
Gemma was briefly aware of the stunned expression on Stephen’s face before he turned away. With her heart thumping, she followed him across the floor to a secluded corner on the far side of the club.
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘WHAT was she talking
about?’ asked Stephen as they sat down at the table.
Gemma swallowed. ‘What do you mean?’ Desperately she played for time.
‘She said you have a baby.’ There was an incredulous half-smile on his face as he took a mouthful of his drink. Obviously he expected her to deny it, to say that Alex was mistaken or that she’d been joking, but when she remained silent he set his glass down and stared at her. Beneath the table Gemma felt her hands go damp. It had been bound to happen. She knew that and really it was surprising that it hadn’t happened before. It hadn’t been a secret on the unit, but now that Stephen finally knew, she didn’t know how to handle it.
‘Gemma…?’ Stephen lowered his head and tried to look into her face but she kept her gaze averted. ‘Gemma?’ he said again, a little more urgently this time. ‘Is it true…do you have a baby?’
She took a deep breath then raised her eyes to meet his. ‘Yes, Stephen,’ she said, ‘I do.’
He stared at her. ‘But…I don’t understand…’ He shook his head in bewilderment. ‘Why didn’t you say…?’
‘It never seemed to be the right time. I’m sorry…’ She floundered, trying to find the right words. How did you tell a man that he was the father of a two-year-old daughter whom he’d never seen?
‘No. No, don’t be sorry.’ Stephen, still looking stunned, ran a hand over his hair. ‘I guess I was the one who went away…’ He trailed off then after a moment he said, ‘I have to say, though, it’s been a bit of a shock.’
‘Yes…it would be.’ Miserably she nodded.
They were silent for a long moment and to Gemma it was as if the other sounds in the club—the chatter and laughter around the bar, the chink of glasses and the softly playing music—came from a long way off.
‘A boy or a girl?’ he asked quietly at last, breaking their silence.
‘A little girl.’ She swallowed. ‘She’s lovely, Stephen,’ she added helplessly.
‘She would be.’ He nodded. ‘She must take after her mother.’
Gemma flushed, faintly surprised that Stephen seemed to be taking this so well. ‘I’m sorry, Stephen,’ she said at last. ‘I should have told you, but—’
‘Not at all,’ he said, lifting one hand, interrupting her. ‘Like I say, I was the one who left and I could hardly expect you not to have had another relationship in all that time. But tell me one thing, Gemma, are you still with the guy now?’
She stared at him and this time it was her turn for bewilderment. With a sudden sense of shock, she realised that he’d completely misunderstood the situation. ‘No—’ she began.
‘Well, I guess that’s something. I thought you were going to say you were married or something…’
‘No, Stephen.’ She took a deep breath and was about to start to explain when suddenly Stephen’s pager went off. She fell silent, her sentence unfinished as he retrieved it from his pocket.
‘Damn!’ he said. ‘I’m on call.’ He rose to his feet. ‘I’ll have to go, Gemma. I’m sorry.’
‘It’s OK.’ She managed a wan smile. ‘I have to be going soon anyway.’
He looked down at her and it was impossible to read the expression in his eyes. ‘We’ll talk about this later,’ he said. Turning away, he hurried out of the club.
She sat there for a long time after he’d left, simply staring into her glass. She’d known he would be shocked to learn that she had a child, but for him to assume that Daisy was the result of another relationship that had taken place after he’d left for Dubai was something she’d never even contemplated. The possibility that her baby might have been his hadn’t seemed to have even crossed his mind.
Turning her head, she looked across the club at the group of her colleagues clustered around the bar. It came as no great surprise to her that it had been Alex who had let it out to Stephen that she had a child. Alex fancied Stephen and it must have become obvious to the other woman that Stephen had been paying quite a bit of attention to her, Gemma. And after the recent conversation in the staff changing room, no doubt Alex thought that if Stephen knew that she had a child, he might not be so keen to pursue the relationship, leaving the field wide open for her.
And would it make a difference? Gemma frowned. Would Stephen lose interest in her now that he knew she had a child? Did men become reluctant if they believed, as Stephen now did, that another man’s child was involved? And what about if he found out that child wasn’t, in fact, another man’s but his own? Quickly she drained her glass and stood up. She couldn’t reason it out now. She felt as if her head was bursting. All she wanted to do was to get home.
Somehow she made her excuses to the others and left the club, drinking in huge breaths of the cool evening air as she made her way to the staff car park. Just before she put her key in the lock she paused and looked up at the lighted windows of the cardiac unit. Stephen was up there now, probably fighting for someone’s life—but what was he thinking? How had it affected him to learn that she had a child? Would he now lose interest in her and maybe transfer his affections to Alex?
She drove out of London as if she were on autopilot and, frighteningly, when she finally reached the house she found she could barely remember any details of the journey home. Her mother was in the sitting-room, watching television, and Gemma would have liked nothing better than to slip past her and go straight to bed, but it wasn’t to be.
‘You’re early,’ said Jill in surprise. ‘I didn’t expect you yet.’
‘I didn’t want to be late,’ said Gemma. ‘Is Daisy all right?’
‘Yes.’ Jill switched off the television with the remote control. ‘I took a look at her just now and she was fast asleep.’
‘Don’t switch off on my account.’ Gemma nodded towards the television.
‘It’s OK. I wasn’t really watching. It was rubbish. I was simply passing the time. I’ll make us a hot drink.’
Gemma wanted to say, No, don’t bother, that she’d rather go straight to bed, but she didn’t quite have the heart to do so. Her mother obviously wanted to chat, and after all she’d been good about babysitting. With a little sigh she followed Jill into the kitchen and watched as her mother poured milk into a saucepan and took two mugs out of the cupboard.
‘So what was the celebration?’ Jill half turned towards Gemma as she turned up the flame beneath the saucepan.
‘It was Kim,’ Gemma replied.
‘Kim?’ Jill looked up. ‘What’s she done?’
‘She’s pregnant,’ said Gemma. Suddenly she felt hungry and, stretching up to a shelf, lifted down the biscuit tin.
‘And she’s celebrating the fact?’ Jill raised one eyebrow, no doubt mindful of the time when Gemma had learnt she was pregnant and it had seemed like the end of the world.
‘She and Dean have decided to get married.’
‘Ah.’ Jill spooned drinking chocolate into the mugs.
‘So really it was a double celebration.’ Gemma paused. ‘Dean came and it was drinks all round—all our crowd turned up.’
‘Including Stephen Preston?’ asked Jill.
The sound of his name on her mother’s lips gave Gemma a little jolt. ‘Yes, he was there.’ She spoke casually but was aware that her cheeks flushed slightly just as she knew her mother would have seen it.
‘And what about the party the other night—did he go to that as well?’ As the milk began to rise in the saucepan Jill turned off the gas and filled the mugs.
‘Yes, he did.’ Gemma nodded. ‘But you needn’t go reading anything into it, Mum.’
‘Who said I was reading anything into it?’ said Jill innocently as she stirred the milk.
‘I know you.’ Gemma watched as the chocolate dissolved into a rich frothy drink. ‘Stephen is just a colleague, that’s all, and a senior colleague at that.’
‘Well, I dare say it wouldn’t be the first time a registrar showed interest in a staff nurse.’ Jill set the mugs onto a tray and, picking it up, made her way from the kitchen into the sitting-room. With a sigh Gemma
tucked the biscuit tin under her arm and followed her.
‘No,’ she said in answer to her mother’s question, ‘you’re right, it wouldn’t be the first time. But after what Stephen heard tonight, I dare say he’ll run a mile.’
‘What do you mean?’ Jill sat down on the sofa and frowned at Gemma.
‘Well, some well-meaning member of staff who, it appears, quite fancies her own chances with our new registrar, made sure that he knows that I’m a single parent.’
‘But should that make any difference?’ asked Jill.
‘Oh, Mum, come on.’ Gemma shook her head. ‘Of course it does. I can’t believe anyone would be too enthralled at embarking on a relationship where they know a child is involved.’
‘I don’t know,’ mused Jill. ‘They might, especially if they care enough for the mother…’ She paused and looked at Gemma. ‘Do you think this Stephen might care about you like that?’
‘Steady on, Mum—’ Gemma broke off. She’d been about to say she hardly knew Stephen but somehow she couldn’t quite bring herself to go that far. She did know him, she knew him very well, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to tell her mother that.
She was silent for a moment as she nibbled a digestive biscuit and sipped her hot chocolate and wondered just what her mother’s reaction would be if she knew that the new registrar they were talking about also just happened to be Daisy’s father. Somehow she suspected that once she’d got over the initial shock Jill might be delighted, would insist that she tell Stephen immediately and would do everything in her power to try to bring about reconciliation between the two of them.
‘I worry about you, Gemma,’ said Jill after a while.
‘Don’t,’ said Gemma, trying to raise a reassuring smile. ‘Really, there’s no need.’
‘Well, I do.’ Jill sighed. ‘Darling, there’s nothing I would like better than to see you settle down with a nice man who would love you and Daisy…and for Daisy, too. She needs a father, Gemma.’
‘I know, Mum. I know, but I can hardly just conjure one up out of thin air, can I?’ Gemma protested.
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