by Nalini Singh
“True,” he admitted. “That’s why it would be a surprise.” Putting on his headphones with an unrepentant wink, he started making final corrections on a piece of work he needed to complete.
Tazia had intended to read a book, as Stefan was now doing. Had she been in this same situation even two months ago, she’d have given him the space and quiet he so plainly wanted, but since he’d continually invaded her own space in the preceding weeks, she decided he’d lost all right to her forbearance.
“You could’ve teleported upside,” she said. By some quirk of telekinetic power, a ’port caused no issues with pressure, regardless of the to and from locations.
“My assistance has been requested at the site of a major earthquake and teleporting to the surface takes energy.” Dark gray eyes looking into her, seeing too much. “I decided it would be better to arrive a few hours later but at full strength than otherwise.”
Tazia saw his point: he’d make up for the delay by shifting twice as much twice as fast. “I wouldn’t have thought the medics would permit you to take on the work.” Tazia herself was under strict instructions to relax and recuperate, and she was only the engineer.
Stefan, in contrast, was undoubtedly the most financially valuable member of the Alaris team. Given the scarcity of Tks as powerful as Stefan, the short-term replacements Alaris brought in to cover for him during his absences had to cost them double what he did on his permanent contract. No way would they want him out of commission for any longer than strictly necessary.
Stefan took so much time to reply that she thought he was simply going to ignore her implied question, but then the stone gray of his eyes met her own and he said, “I’m listed as a volunteer Tk with International Search and Rescue.”
She blinked, having assumed that he was being called in to assist a commercial enterprise of some kind. Beside her, Andres—who’d taken off his headphones because he couldn’t bear to miss out on any discussions in his vicinity—was more vocal in his surprise. “Say what?”
Tazia could understand her friend’s befuddled response. There was no money in search and rescue. As such, the Psy Council would never authorize the “waste” of resources. Not unless there was a political angle. “Is it a Psy enclave?” she asked, wondering if the Council was trying to curry favor with its populace due to the recent unrest.
“No. Human.”
Andres shook his head. “No offense, Stefan, but Psy don’t step in to help humans, and they definitely don’t send in high-powered telekinetics.”
“Incorrect, since I am both Psy and a Tk.”
“You know what I mean.”
“No.” His tone made it clear the discussion was over.
Chapter 3
Disembarking upside at last, the trip having passed both too slowly and too fast, Tazia blinked at the tropical sunlight, had to admit it felt good on her skin. Part of her would always miss the desert sands of home, though it had never been her place, the place where she could put down her roots. “See you in a month,” she said to Andres as he grinned and waved at the gaggle of relatives who’d come to claim him.
Standing impatiently behind the glass wall of the waiting area, they were so proud of him it was a joyous brightness. Small, excited children pressed their hands to the glass, an older woman cried happy tears while others just beamed at Andres, and two teenagers held up a banner that said, We missed you, bro!
Tiny hands had drawn colorful marine animals all over the banner.
This was what it should be like. Family was the bedrock of life; that was what Tazia had always been taught, still what she believed. A person could weather anything so long as she had the strength of her family at her back. To be without family was to be a ghost, lost in the wilderness.
Andres turned toward her. “Will you—”
“I’ll check in for you at the office.” She smiled and took his ID card. “Go on, I think your mom’s going to burst if you don’t hug her soon.” It was his mother who was crying; Tazia recognized her from many earlier meetings.
Andres’s mother had invited Tazia home for dinner on countless occasions during Tazia’s time working on the construction and development team.
“Thanks, Tazi.” Andres hesitated. “You know you’re always welcome to come home with me. One more body won’t be any trouble. Ma loves to feed people and she adores you.”
She cherished him for his friendship, but she also knew that this time should be his . . . and much as Tazia loved his family, it made her so sad inside to witness their love, their togetherness. It was a terrible thing to admit, but their joy reminded her too much of all that she had lost. Better for such a guest to stay away; never would she risk putting a damper on Andres’s visit by inadvertently betraying her own painful homesickness.
“I’ll be fine,” she said, her heart a dull ache in her chest but her smile and wave for his family very much real. “I’ve got a few dates set up.”
A gleam in his eye. “Secretive. I like it.” He kissed her on the cheek before heading off, turning to walk backward long enough to call out, “I’ll expect a full report!”
Then he was gone, excitedly swallowed up by his boisterous family.
“You lied.”
She didn’t startle, having felt Stefan’s cool presence at her back.
Taking a step forward in an effort to fight the temptation to turn around and push at him until he cracked, until he acted human, she said, “It’s a lie that’ll ensure he doesn’t worry about me during his break.” With that, she hefted her small duffel and strode toward the office building to check in; she’d leave both her own and Andres’s ID badges there. It was easy enough to verify ID with a DNA scan when it was time to return to Alaris, and this way there was no risk of losing the IDs.
Stefan fell into step beside her, shortening his long strides to match hers. “What will you do?”
Concerned? Stefan? No, she thought. He probably just wanted to make sure his engineer would return to Alaris without problematic psychological issues. The smooth running of the station, after all, was his mandate. “I’ll rent a room for the month I’m upside.”
The office staff had shown her how to arrange such temporary accommodation her first trip upside. Now she had a list of places she could call to see if they had vacancies—advance bookings were difficult, as no one could guarantee exactly when conditions would be right for the submersible to come up.
If everything was booked, there were always the bunks at the back of the office building. No one would mind if she used one of those, though Tazia intended to do her best to avoid that scenario. She’d spent a week there her first rotation upside, and the quiet pity she’d seen in the eyes of those who went home every day to their families was nothing she ever wanted to repeat.
“What will you do in your room?”
Fingers tightening on the handles of her duffel at Stefan’s question, she fought the burning in her throat, the flame of anger in her stomach. He had no idea what he was doing to her, how his questions were forcing her to face her cold, lonely existence headlong. No playing with Mina’s children for her, no cuddling her nephew or helping her father fix the machines the desert sand was constantly clogging.
That was what a daughter who was wanted and loved would do. Not one who’d been forsaken. “I’ll hang out,” she said, keeping her pain to herself. “Read a few books, maybe go to the theater, have fun.”
“Do you wish to do that?”
“No.” Temper snapping, she spun around to face him, her jaw tight and her fury caustic acid in her veins. “But it’s the best I can do. Satisfied?”
“You could come with me.”
The world froze and when it started moving again, nothing was as it had been. “What?”
Eyes unreadable, face expressionless, his body held in straight lines that spoke once again of a military background, Stefan said, “They
’re in desperate need of volunteers at the location of the quake. It’s an isolated settlement. An engineer would be more than welcome.”
“I can’t.” Frustration churned in her gut. “If the company finds out I’m moonlighting, even on a volunteer basis, they might ground me for another month.” And she needed to return to Alaris, to the place where she could almost forget how very lonely it was out here in the world.
Stefan’s eyes held hers, the dark gray intense. “I may be able to get you clearance.”
“If you can,” she said, “I’m yours.”
For an instant, her words lingered in the air, a strange tension between them. Then Stefan nodded and the taut thread broke in two. It had probably just been her imagination anyway. She’d never seen any indication that Stefan wasn’t completely Silent, his emotions contained behind a chilly wall of reserve.
Tazia wondered what he would’ve been like in a world without Silence, tried to imagine him with a smile, and felt her breath catch in her throat, her stomach flipping. He was handsome now in a stark, hard, military way . . . but she thought he might be heartbreakingly so if he smiled.
“I’ll return soon,” he said to her and disappeared beyond the front office.
Needing to keep herself busy in the interim, she handed Andres’s ID as well as her own to the unfamiliar older man manning the desk. “My friend’s family was waiting for him,” she said when the clerk held up Andres’s pass. “He scanned out at the submersible.”
The clerk ran the pass through his scanner. “Yep, all set. Was he the one with the entire clan that came out to get him? Mother wearing a yellow dress?”
“Yes, that was them.”
“Proud as punch they were.” His stern expression softened. “She came in here to check they had the right time for the submersible and spent ten minutes talking about how her boy was the smartest, most handsome creature on the planet.”
Tazia smiled with him. “He always comes back on board with the most enormous care packages and we all eat very well for a week.”
Laughing, the clerk finished the paperwork, then said, “You want to withdraw some cash from your account?”
Tazia thought about it. Almost everything in this port city ran on plastic, but if she went with Stefan to a more remote area, she’d probably need cash. “Yes,” she said and hoped the decision sent a loud signal to the universe about her intentions and desires.
She’d just completed the transaction when she was called into the back office and asked for her reasons for wanting to volunteer at the quake site. Stefan stood silently by the window as she looked the Living Resources director in the eye and told the blunt truth. “I’ve got no one upside. The month passes at a snail’s pace and I return to Alaris no more relaxed than when I got out. I’d prefer to spend that time helping people rather than feeling sorry for myself.”
The director tucked a wing of blonde hair behind her ear and said, “Well, that’s certainly honest enough.” She tapped something into the datapad in front of her. “I’m clearing you for volunteer duty with Stefan, but remember, you’ll have a physical before returning to Alaris. Make sure you’re rested and well nourished by then or I will bench you for another month—and you’ll lose that month’s salary, too.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Joy burst to life in Tazia’s bloodstream. She wouldn’t be alone and useless upside. Not this time.
• • •
It was on the high-speed jet out of the country that Tazia glanced at the man who sat next to her, their arms so close they almost touched, and said, “Thank you.”
“There’s no need. Your skills are necessary.”
Eyes on the black of his shirt where his arm lay on the armrest, she said, “Andres was right, you know. Telekinetics like you are so valuable they aren’t allowed to volunteer.” She didn’t know why she was pushing this; maybe because Stefan was an enigma, something she couldn’t take apart to figure out how it worked.
He’d been that way from the start, had always fascinated her, but something had changed in the time since the mail incident. Now she wasn’t only fascinated by the idea of him, but compelled by Stefan himself. Foolish Tazi, Teta Aya would’ve said, trying to understand the stars when they are beyond mortal ken.
Stefan was as unreachable as one of those cold, burning stars. And yet . . . “Why do they let you?”
“My entire town was buried by a landslide when I was a very young child,” he said at last, his tone quiet enough that it wouldn’t travel beyond their seats. “I survived by ’porting out instinctively. However, I was psychologically scarred by the resulting loss of family.” A pause. “The incident reports state I tried for hours to teleport back to get my mother and brother, only for the ’port to abort because the place I needed to go no longer existed.”
Tazia’s heart hurt for him, but he continued on before she could say anything.
“The landslide crushed our home, trapping them both under tons of dirt and rock.” No change in his tone, but she could imagine the small, scared boy he’d been, the boy trying so desperately to save those he loved.
“Psy-Med,” he added, “believes such volunteer work helps keep me stable.”
From a human, such a confession would’ve been the deepest of intimacies. From Stefan, it was an even deeper trust. Shaken, she said, “I won’t betray the confidence.”
“If I thought you would, I wouldn’t have told you.” Dark gray eyes held her own, the contact unbreakable. “You have more questions.”
“I always have more questions,” she said with an ache in her soul because that had been her father’s lament: Here comes my Tazi. What questions for me today, my daughter with her smart mind and curious spirit?
Watching her with those penetrating eyes that made her feel hunted, Stefan said, “You may ask your questions, but not here. When we are alone.”
“You might regret saying that.” This conversation, it wasn’t one she’d ever thought she’d have, not with Stefan. “You’ll be answering questions till you’re old and gray.”
“Perhaps I will prove in no way as interesting as your mechanical devices.”
Somehow, Tazia didn’t believe that.
Tapping out a request on the computer screen built into the arm of his seat when she didn’t answer, Stefan ordered them meals. “Eat as much as you can. Our meals will be erratic once we land.”
Chapter 4
They changed in the private cubicles on board the jet, getting into clothing suitable for the quake-hit region. She wore her own work boots, scuffed and comfortable, but Stefan had sourced a search and rescue uniform for her that was similar to his own. The color of sand, the thin, breathable, but tough material covered her arms and legs, providing protection from the rubble and the sun both. The lightweight jacket, worn over a T-shirt, sealed up the front, which meant she could tear it open should it get too hot.
What on her looked merely serviceable looked like a pressed military uniform on Stefan, his bearing was so erect. “Ready?” he said as soon as they’d landed and been processed through to the hot, desert land not so very far from her own.
Blowing out a breath, she nodded. “I haven’t done this before.”
“You might feel some disorientation.” He stepped close, her heart slammed into her rib cage . . . and a second later, she was being teleported for the first time in her life, the world spinning before it settled.
In the space of three heartbeats, they’d gone from a modern, gleaming airport to a village deep in the interior, where a massive quake had buried ancient and lovingly handcrafted homes the color of sunbaked mud, cracking and buckling the land in every direction.
There were no screams, no cries. Only an eerie silence as people worked with frantic hands to unearth the buried. Many had nothing but those hands, fingers bloodied and nails broken. Stefan began to lift huge chunks of material within a minute of arriv
ing. The relief on the townspeople’s haggard faces was so visceral, it tore a hole inside of Tazia.
“Right,” she said and, dumping her gear in the same spot where Stefan had dropped his duffel, headed out to talk to the person who seemed to be coordinating the rescue efforts. The grateful local woman soon had her out fixing everything from broken pipes to checking wiring for danger, to jerry-rigging communications equipment that kept breaking down.
Only a small rescue team had made it to the village so far, the rest still en route. As a result, the available able-bodied volunteers—trained and untrained—were stretched to the limit.
Tazia fell exhausted on her sleeping bag hours after full dark, some kind person having rolled it out after putting up a tent for her and Stefan. When Stefan came in bare minutes later, his face drawn, and, digging into his duffel, threw her a Psy nutrition bar, she gulped down the tasteless thing. It was only then that she realized she hadn’t eaten since the plane. “Will you be okay?”
“I’ll need at least six hours of sleep to recover to a level where I can continue to shift material.” With that, he threw her another bar, ate four more himself, and went to sleep.
Or she thought he must have. Because she woke with the nutrition bar still in her hand. A glance at the clock showed only five hours had passed. Moving about quietly so as not to wake Stefan, she stuck her feet into her boots and ducked out to use the facilities. Afterward, she rinsed out her mouth with careful use of water, then took a long drink as she finished off the bar. Shower facilities were nonexistent, the well having been crushed in the quake, but the locals had repeatedly cautioned her to make sure she drank enough water to stay strong and hydrated.
Tazia had forgotten how easily the desert sun could sap a person’s strength.
Tankers were on the way and those villagers not involved in attempting to rescue buried survivors were trying to resurrect the well, but until then, personal hygiene had to take a backseat to survival. It was better not to ask Stefan to ’port in more water—he was already being pushed to the edge of his endurance lifting the debris.