You don’t have a choice, Chip, Sara thought sadly. The decision’s been made. It’s for the best.
“C’mon,” Chip said after taking his last bite of pancakes. “Let’s get ready for our big day. I would like to wash you this morning.”
Sara choked on a piece of pancake. She coughed hard and cleared her throat. She didn’t see that one coming. “Really?” Sara said, feeling a thrill of excitement run through her body. Nothing wrong with having a little fun during her last days on Earth. She was with the man she loved, after all.
Sara followed Chip to the bathroom, where they enjoyed a nice, steamy shower together. They took turns washing each other in between passionate kisses. Sara enjoyed both the soothing feel of the water and his gentle touch on her skin. She felt like she was living someone else’s life. If there was a Heaven, she imagined this would be what it felt like.
“I wish it could always be this way,” she said. She breathed in deeply as she slowly ran her wet fingers along his chest.
“It can.” Chip smiled, caressing her neck.
How can he be so damn optimistic? Sara wondered. He really believes we could have a great life together. If only he knew how troubled his existence would become once he had been fully immersed into her dark world. Then he would surely let her go.
After their shower, they dried off quickly in soft white terry cloth towels, and then raced each other to the bedroom, giggling like teenagers. Neither could hold back the intense desire that had been building during their tantalizing shower.
They made love again. Sara relished the spiraling tingles that ran up and down her body. Their hearts, minds, and souls were joined together as one again. There was nothing in the world that mattered except the union they had created. It was just how Sara had pictured it in her dream, the one she had had before the vision of his father’s death. Did that mean the end was near?
They rolled over, breathless, still wrapped in each other’s arms. Chip picked his head up slightly to glance at the clock. Sara had no concept of time and really didn’t care if they stayed that way forever. She knew that getting up meant she would have to return to her normal life again.
“It’s already nine a.m,” Chip said suddenly. “We’d better get dressed. I called my dad at seven-thirty and promised we’d pick him up at noon for lunch. And I still have so much more in store for you first.”
“Really?” she said. “Do we have to get up? I could just stay here all day with you and that would be enough for me.”
“I can assure you, my love, that your day is about to get better.”
“Well”—she winked—“I will definitely get up then.”
They dressed quickly, Sara in a simple royal-blue dress and Chip in a pair of jeans and a light-blue button-down shirt that he had grabbed before heading to her place.
“I have one finishing touch for you,” Chip said. “Turn around.”
Sara did as he asked and felt his fingers gently brushing against her neck as he put on a necklace. When she turned around to see it in the mirror, her heart skipped a beat. The light from a nearby lamp reflected off a shiny silver star necklace and sent a beam that pointed directly at Chip. This wasn’t just any necklace. It was special. It was a precious keepsake her mother had given her many years earlier. She remembered when she had lost it at the playground as a child. She had cried for days. She continued to absentmindedly reach up to her neck to make sure it was still there long after it was gone. The bareness of her neck made her feel lost and vulnerable. That necklace was a treasure to her, a reminder of the bond she and her mother had shared.
Tears flowed like a stream from Sara’s eyes, and she was filled with not only Chip’s love but also the joy of her mother’s love.
Her mind traveled back to the dream she had had of her mother months earlier. I will leave a special gift for you. It will appear one day when you least expect it.
“Where did you find this?” Sara asked.
“It was on the mantel,” he replied. “Why?”
“This is a very special necklace my mother gave me when I was a child,” she said, still sobbing. “I haven’t seen it in years. I thought it was lost forever.”
“Apparently, your mother wanted you to have it back.”
Sara laughed. This all seemed too unbelievable to be real. Her mother was dead. Surely, this was just a coincidence. Maybe the necklace was inside her mother’s urn and fell out when the urn broke. She didn’t remember putting it on the mantel, but that must have been what happened. She was too exhausted and emotional that night to remember what she had done. All she recalled was being interrupted from her suicide attempt by the crashing sound of the urn, and then cleaning up. She did remember carefully putting her mother’s ashes into the urn that held her father’s ashes, but everything else was just a blur to her.
“I’m serious, Sara,” Chip said.
“I know,” she said. “I wish I lived in your world, but I don’t… I can’t.”
“You can,” he said confidently. “Follow me.”
They headed out the door and got into Chip’s car. Sara admired the scenery as they drove to their destination. The trees were lush and green, and gave her a sense of serenity as they whizzed by. The sunlight reflected off of their leaves, creating patches of gold that glowed like a welcoming campfire. They soon arrived at Herrick Recreation Area in Clare. Chip pulled up to the gate and was greeted by an elderly woman with curly silver hair.
“I’d like to reserve a campsite for tonight,” he said.
“Of course.” She smiled as she took care of him. “Campsite number 111. You two, have fun,” she added, handing Chip his parking pass and campground map. Chip pulled the car away and placed his permit on the dashboard.
“You didn’t tell me we were going camping,” Sara said with surprise. She wondered how she was going to complete her plans while stuck at a campground. How long were they staying here? She would surely have to wait until he dropped her off back at home before she could make her escape.
“I wanted to surprise you,” he said. “Let’s get set up and then we can pick up my dad for lunch. After that, I’m all yours.”
“Okay,” she said weakly. Sara couldn’t deny the fact that she found spending the night with Chip in the park both intriguing and exciting. But that nagging feeling of death still lurked just below the surface. She was often powerless against its fierce pull. Today, she fought hard against it, determined to enjoy the last moments of her life with Chip.
They arrived at the campsite. It was nestled deep in the woods, secluded and private. In the distance, two tiny log cabins stood at the top of an overgrown, grassy hill. A small stream dotted with rocks and sticks ran through the site. The setting was quiet and serene. Chip climbed out of the truck and popped the trunk. He pulled out a tent and began to set it up. Sara jumped out of the car to help him. In less than fifteen minutes, they were all set up.
“Let’s go for a walk,” Chip suggested. He took her hand, and they began strolling through the park, taking in the beauty of their surroundings. Lots of tall oak and maple trees looked down on them, their leaves waving as if to greet them. The sun sat high in the summer sky and provided a comforting blanket of warmth. Sara felt happy and safe. Her mind flashed back to the dream she had of walking hand in hand with Chip in the park. This was exactly what she had seen. That is, before the vision of his father’s death.
“Chip, I have to tell you something,” Sara said.
“What is it? Is everything okay?”
“I saw this—us—walking through this very park, holding hands, just like we are now. And us making love this morning, I saw and felt that, too, in my vision.”
Chip’s face brightened. “That’s awesome, Sara,” he said excitedly. “What else did you see?”
“I saw us watching the sunset on the beach… kissing… hugging… and I saw us sitting by a campfire roasting marshmallows.”
“That’s exactly what I had planned for tonight. I figured we c
ould watch the sunset and then roast marshmallows by the campfire. I guess I won’t be able to surprise you with that one. But this is great. Do you realize what this means, Sara?”
Sara felt the sadness take over her heart again. “Yes,” she replied softly. “It means your dad is going to die next. I saw that after all of this.”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” he said seriously. “What I meant was that you can see visions of positive future events. You didn’t just see my father’s death. You also saw all of these wonderful moments with me.”
Chip had a point there. This was the first time she had ever seen anything good. But it still didn’t stop death from finding a way to spoil it.
“That’s true,” said Sara. “But I still saw death. It didn’t take that away.”
“Well, I still think it’s an encouraging sign,” Chip said hopefully. “Maybe you will start seeing more good visions. Maybe you will see the afterlife and be able to communicate with spirits one day.”
“I doubt it.”
All Sara knew was the life she had lived up to that point. She couldn’t conceive of a world where death wasn’t the end. But she appreciated Chip trying to help her. He had a big, kind heart that brought a lightness to her life she had never before experienced. Why couldn’t it always be this way?
“What are you thinking?” Chip asked, interrupting her thoughts.
“About you. You’ve given me something I haven’t had for a very long time.”
“What’s that?”
“Hope,” she said, inhaling the crisp, clean outdoor air. “When I’m with you, things don’t seem so bad. I feel lighter, happier.”
“And when you’re not with me?”
“All I want to do is die.” As Sara heard the words leave her mouth, she knew what was coming. She hadn’t admitted to Chip that she was suicidal. Now he would do anything to prevent her from taking her own life. Sara felt the fear rising up through her body. She turned to look at Chip, expecting him to look angry, hurt, or terrified. What she saw instead took her breath away.
The sunlight danced off of Chip’s face. He smiled radiantly at her with a twinkle in his eyes that made her feel like she was the most special and important person in the world. The softness of his expression brought her comfort. He stood before her holding a daisy he had picked from the grassy earth below. He gently placed it into her hands. Sara was touched.
“And I want to save you,” he said finally.
Sara burst into tears and fell into his arms. She felt him softly stroke her back and was comforted by his strong arms around her. A warm breeze glided across her skin, and she thought she heard a faint, whistling voice in her right ear.
Let him.
“Let him what?” she said aloud, opening her eyes to see who had witnessed their exchange and was giving her unsolicited advice. But to her surprise, she and Chip were still alone.
“I didn’t say anything,” Chip said.
“I know. It was a woman. Where did she go? Did you see her walk away?”
“No, Sara,” Chip said confidently. “There’s no one here but us.”
Chip wrapped his arms around her again and planted a kiss on her forehead. “It must have been the wind,” he whispered.
Sara shrugged. She was quite certain it was not the wind. Maybe someone had been hiding behind the trees watching them. Some people are just nosy like that. Or maybe she was losing touch with reality. She knew she had heard a woman’s voice. She was sure of it.
C’mon,” Chip said, grabbing her hand. “Let’s go meet my dad.”
***
On the way to Dave’s house, Sara noticed things. They were the tiny details she often overlooked when consumed with death. She observed the way the sunlight flickered through the trees as she and Chip drove past. She paid attention to the way the air from the half-cracked window whistled and then rushed across her face and tossed her hair back. She heard the buzz of oncoming cars zooming past them on US Route 127.
Dave lived in Houghton Lake, a small community with a population of less than four thousand. Houghton Lake was a popular vacation spot in northern Michigan, with many people renting lakefront cottages and enjoying fishing, boating, kayaking, and Jet Skiing. It was also a retirement haven, which was why Dave had moved there. Dave had recently retired from his high-paying executive job as a vice president of finance in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. But he still liked nice things. Chip had prepared Sara for Dave’s somewhat extravagant lifestyle, but told her that he was “a good guy,” who had donated thousands of dollars to charities across the country.
As they pulled into Dave’s driveway, Sara was struck by the magnificence of the house. It was a large, red brick colonial, with black shutters and a gorgeous leaded-glass front door adorned with an etched rose trimmed in brass. A decorative stone-paved path led to the porch where a small angel fountain sat. Behind the house was Houghton Lake, shimmering with beauty. Many boats of various sizes coasted across the lake, like birds soaring through the sky. It was a gorgeous setting, perfect for a retired executive.
“Wow, your dad has quite the place,” she said.
“Yes,” Chip replied. “He always liked fancy, extravagant things. Mom was different. She preferred the simple life and was more in tune with nature. A little of her rubbed off on him, though, because at one time he would have never chosen Houghton Lake for his home. He would have considered it too rural for his tastes.”
They got out of the car and headed to the front door. Chip rang the doorbell, and a skinny, wrinkled woman with glasses and curly, dark-gray hair greeted them.
“Oh, hello, Chip,” she said kindly. “I’ll tell your father you’ve arrived. Have a seat.”
Chip and Sara sat down on the plush white sofa in the oversize living room. The walls were painted a rich gold, and the pillows on the sofa matched. The woman disappeared into the hallway. Sara looked around at all of the fancy artwork, unique vases, and expensive oriental rugs. This was clearly a rich man’s home. Still, there was something warm and inviting about it. Unlike the pristine mansions she had seen on television, this place had a welcoming feel to it. It was strangely homey.
“It’s odd,” she said to Chip. “For a large, fancy home, this feels…”
“Comfortable? Inviting?” Chip asked.
“Yes. It has a really good energy about it,” she agreed. “Not at all stuffy, despite the lavish décor.”
“I know,” he agreed. “That’s because Mom visits here often.”
“Oh?” Sara said. She arched an eyebrow.
“Yeah. She looks in on Dave—Dad—and keeps him from becoming too detached and uptight. Her spirit fills the space with a loving, positive energy. Without her presence, it would just be another fancy home.”
“Wow, your mom has that kind of influence on him?”
“My mom is an amazing woman,” he said. “She can be in love with another man and still hold Dave’s heart. She calms him. In his mind, she isn’t the woman who could never love him the way he wanted, she’s the woman he wasn’t worthy of. He adores her.”
“But he doesn’t know that she cheated on him and that you’re the product of that affair. I wonder what he would think then.”
Chip sat up straighter, and Sara regretted not biting her tongue. Sometimes things just came out of her mouth. She wasn’t judging Celeste. Sara understood what it was like to not have control over your emotions and actions. She herself was often overcome by forces beyond her power.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to blurt that out. I have no doubt your mother was a terrific woman. I just wonder how your dad would react.”
“Knowing Dad, he would be upset and angry at first, but then he would probably forgive her. Besides, he’s not innocent in all of this. He pursued her knowing she was in love with someone else. He knew what he was up against, but he saw winning her love as some sort of challenge or game. She was his acquisition.”
“Always the businessman,” Sara said.
/>
“Yes,” he agreed. He lowered his voice. “And after Mom died, he became quite the ladies’ man, too. He soothed his loneliness with lots of sex and one-night stands. He even had flings with married women. So, I doubt he can criticize Mom for what she did. She had an affair with the man she loved, not some stranger she picked up in a hotel bar on some business trip.”
“Good point.”
“But I’m not trying to rip on my dad,” Chip said. “He really is a good man and a decent father. He’s always done everything he could to take care of his family. He honors Mom’s memory. He even started a fund in her name for victims of rape and domestic violence.”
“That’s wonderful,” said Sara.
“Yes,” Chip agreed. “Someday I want to make a difference in the world, too. Maybe open up a counseling center of my own.”
“I know you would be great at that.” She beamed, leaning over to give him a kiss. He pulled her toward him, and they toppled over on the sofa, Sara ending up on top of him. He kissed her passionately, and her whole body quivered with excitement.
“What’s this?” a strong man’s voice interrupted.
Sara quickly got off of Chip and sat up straight. She blushed as she straightened her dress and hair. She looked up at the man standing before them. His serious green eyes intimidated her. He was neatly dressed in black pants and a crisp white button-front shirt and blue tie. His black hair was streaked with gray and slicked back neatly in place. He was staring intently at her.
“I’m sorry, sir,” she said.
“No need to apologize,” he said kindly, his eyes changing from serious to curious. “I’ve been in love before. I’m just glad to meet the woman who’s captured my son’s heart.”
“Dad, this is Sara,” Chip said proudly.
Dave extended his hand and firmly shook Sara’s. “Nice to meet you, Sara. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Oh? What have you heard?” she asked, wondering what Chip could have possibly told him.
“I’ve heard you’re an amazing woman with a kind heart.”
Sara's Soul Page 12