by Curry, Edna
“Sorry isn’t good enough. Just leave me alone.”
“Be reasonable, Bob. You’re acting like a spoiled child, not a man.”
“Tough shit!” He shut the door in her face.
Her shoulders drooping, Lisa walked back to the car. “You heard?” she asked, her voice ragged with held in tears.
Trace nodded. “It was a little hard not to. You’re right; he’s still acting like a spoiled child.”
She nodded, walked around the little blue car and got in. She felt thankful that he didn’t say, ‘I told you so.’ She tossed him a glance, her eyes swimming with tears. “Let’s go home.”
“I’m starving. How about some dinner before we go back?”
The thought of food nauseated her, but she nodded, determined not to give in to the tears which threatened to spill over. Suddenly something else Bob had said registered. ‘....and I’m gonna be a father in a few months.’
Annette was pregnant! I’m going to be a grandmother! The thought both amazed and frightened her. She was too young to be a grandmother, wasn’t she?
They stopped at a little restaurant and found a booth in the corner, giving them some privacy. Trace ordered steaks.
Lisa disappeared to the restroom, and was gone so long the waitress served their food as soon as she saw her return.
Trace ate heartily, while Lisa picked at hers.
Finally he met her eyes across the table. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“How much did you hear?”
“Only the loud part at the end about leaving him alone. Was there more?”
Lisa nodded. “Annette is there with him. I didn’t see her, but he says they’re married.”
“I see.”
She closed her eyes against the pain of remembering Bob’s harsh words. “No, you don’t see. You remember we found out in St. Cloud that Annette has no family?”
“Yes?” Trace’s voice was guarded, curious, inviting her to confide in him.
“Annette made Bob look me up because she wanted a nice family wedding. But before he could tell me, I turned him away. Oh, Trace,” she wailed, “I missed my only son’s wedding because of my stubbornness, my temper.”
“But you couldn’t have known that—”
Lisa didn’t seem to hear him. “Now, she’s pregnant. I’m going to be a grandmother, and I screwed up the chance to become friends with my new daughter-in-law. Just because I was sick of living the crowded life and wanted some time alone.”
“But when Bob showed up and walked in on us like that, it was only natural for you to be upset.”
“If only I’d given him a chance to talk, to tell me!”
He reached out and took her hand, trying to hold her gaze, to keep her attention on him. “Lisa, you’re overreacting. Come on, eat your dinner. Just give him time, he’ll come around.”
Lisa’s mouth twisted in a half smile, although she obediently moved her food around on her plate. “You don’t know my son.”
Maybe not, but at the moment, I’d like to wring his damned neck. Trace sighed, and picked up his fork. It would never do to tell Lisa that. She wasn’t in a reasoning mood. He finished eating his steak, but hardly tasted it.
The ride back to Mankato was equally grim. The worst part was, Trace knew exactly how she felt. He’d felt the same way when Renee had moved to Chicago with Sandra and her parents, and he’d felt he’d lost her. Helpless, angry, guilty. A mixture of all of those.
And in his pain for Lisa, Trace suddenly realized something else. He loved this woman. What a time to find out. There was no way she was going to listen to him, or to accept his love now, when he could tell by her coldness to him, she felt he was partly to blame for this mess, too.
Worse yet, he agreed. He was partly to blame, because if Lisa hadn’t been so embarrassed about making out with him on the sofa that day, she might have listened to Bob, instead of throwing him out. Then she would have happily helped Annette plan her wedding, and she wouldn’t be feeling like this now.
***
Weeks went by. Lisa sent Bob and Annette a wedding gift. She also wrote a letter to Annette welcoming her to the family. She apologized for the misunderstandings which had led to her missing a big wedding, and included her unlisted phone number, hoping that Annette would call.
Annette didn’t call, but she wrote Lisa a thank you note. “I don’t dare call,” Lisa read, “because Bob has forbidden me to. He would be furious with me if he saw your Mankato number on our phone bill. Bob loves his new job. I’m feeling fine and have found a job at a doctor’s office, a lot like the job I had in St. Cloud. Don’t worry about us, Lisa, everything is fine.”
But nothing seemed fine to Lisa. She felt terrible. She spent hours working at her computer and on her lawn and flowerbeds, but tried to see Trace as little as possible.
It seemed to her that her attempt at making a new life for herself had cost her, her son. That was too high a price to pay.
When she said so to Trace, he said angrily, “Lisa that’s ridiculous. How will our staying apart help you make up with Bob?”
Lisa could only shrug. She had no answer. In truth, she knew Trace was right, but she also couldn’t allow herself to make love to him.
Trace tried his best to cheer her up, hoping she only needed time. But, although she allowed him to come over to talk, and when he coaxed her, they occasionally went out, she had pulled away emotionally. She no longer responded to his attempts to make love. After listening to dozens of her excuses, he stopped trying. He felt she was only there in body, not in spirit. He tried to get her to go on a cruise with him, but she refused that, too. Then he attempted to convince her to talk to a counselor, which made her even angrier with him.
The strain of trying to reach her was getting to him. He even snapped at Renee when she came home for a weekend. It got so bad Jenny, who worshipped Trace and seldom complained, grumbled at Trace for his attitude.
One hot sunny afternoon in late August, Sam, Barbara and the boys came to visit Lisa. Jodi had been down visiting her aunt and uncle over the weekend, so she came with them.
Her traditional habit of feeding guests forced Lisa out of her shell enough to have a cookout, and she invited Trace to join them. Because Renee was home getting her things together to return to fall classes she came too.
Lisa was pleased to see Jodi and Renee seemed to hit it off right away. She listened to them chatting happily about Renee’s classes at college, boys, and Jodi’s job at the theater.
While the men fired up the grill and then watched the steaks and Jodi played ball with the boys on the lawn, Renee helped Lisa and Barbara prepare the salads in the kitchen. Barbara picked up a bowl of potato salad, the tablecloth, silverware and went outside to set the picnic table.
Renee nervously tore a head of lettuce into bits and dropped the pieces into the large glass bowl in front of her. She looked at Lisa, and then said quietly, “I’m glad we’re alone. I’ve never had a chance to apologize properly for the nasty way I talked to you the first night we met, Lisa. I am sorry.”
Pleased, Lisa smiled and nodded. She cut up the tomato she was holding and put the bright red chunks into the bowl with the lettuce. “Your father already relayed your apology. It all happened so long ago, Renee. Please, let’s forget it.” She reached for a green pepper and gave it her attention next.
Renee let out the breath she’d been holding, and resumed tearing up lettuce. “Thanks, Lisa. You know, you’ve really been good for Daddy. He’s changed.”
Lisa’s hands stilled. “Changed? In what way?”
“Well, for one thing, he’s not such a tightwad with his money. Do you know he’s even bought a new bathrobe and slippers? I’ve been hounding him to do that for years.”
Lisa laughed. “Maybe the old ones just finally wore out.”
Renee shook her head. “No, it’s more than that. Why, he even put central air in our house. I mean, really, Daddy, wasting energy on comfort? And, like when I was in the h
ospital in Chicago. He actually flew out to see me instead of driving.”
“But of course he did. Any father would. I remember he was scared to death. He wanted to be there with you, to see that everything could be done for you, would be.”
“No, Lisa. Before, he would have driven down to save money and only bought as little as possible. He even used his credit cards. I mean, Daddy hasn’t used a credit card since the divorce. He took them all away from Mom after she maxed them out so many times. Now, he even…” she touched the thin white line along the side of her face. Under her makeup, it was barely visible. “See this? I had an ugly scar there, and he paid for the plastic surgeon to repair it.”
Lisa smiled sympathetically. She knew how important a disfiguring scar could be to a pretty young girl. “That’s great, Renee. But I fail to see why you’re giving me the credit.”
“You may not think so, Lisa, but I know he’s changed because of you. You made him see that he’d gone overboard on the non-consumer kick he was on. Made him care about how he looks again. He even bought new suits for work.”
“Yes, I know. He asked me to go shopping with him to help him pick them out.”
“You see? Anyway, I just want to say, I don’t oppose your getting together anymore. I couldn’t stand the idea of him remarrying for a long time, but I’ve gotten over that. I-I want you to know that.”
Lisa stared at Renee, touched by the sincerity in her voice. Still, Renee’s comments embarrassed Lisa. Trace had never mentioned marriage. She doubted he thought about her in that way. Where had Renee gotten the idea?
“Thank you, Renee. But I don’t think that’s on the agenda for us right now.” She picked up the bowls of baked beans and chips, and started for the door.
“But why not?” Renee asked. “I know you love each other. It’s written all over your faces when you look at each other.”
Lisa stopped. How could she explain? Her life was on hold. She couldn’t allow herself to be happy, when her selfish need for freedom had caused so much unhappiness for others.
She was saved from answering when Barbara popped back into the kitchen. “We need more lemonade and milk. Gads, it’s hot out there.”
“There’s more in the refrigerator. Will you get it, Barbara?” Lisa asked, and made her escape outside with the bowls of food.
In the afternoon, Trace suggested they all cool off at the pool. The girls begged off to go somewhere with Renee’s friends, and the rest of them piled into two cars and were soon splashing in the cool water.
Lisa and Barbara stayed at the shallow end with the boys first, while Trace and Sam dived and swam laps.
Then they switched places and Trace and Sam kept their eyes on the shouting, splashing boys. Because Tommy was four and Lee only a year old, it was a full time job. Sam held Lee in his arms, and allowed him to splash to his heart’s content, while Tommy alternately dog paddled and jumped up and down in the water, enjoying making even bigger splashes.
“Lively little fellow, isn’t he?” Trace commented, ducking his head behind a raised elbow to avoid getting a face full of water.
“Yes, isn’t he? Lee’s not doing too bad, either. I can’t believe he’ll be a year old already next Saturday.”
“Time goes by,” Trace agreed. He pretended to keep his eyes on Tommy, but in reality, they kept straying beyond to where Lisa was lazily doing laps. He wished he could convince her of that fact. Time was going by for them, and they weren’t getting any younger. They needed to make the most of it. Why couldn’t Lisa see it?
Sam watched Trace, and commented, “You love her, too, don’t you?”
Trace’s head snapped back to look at Sam. “What makes you say that?”
With a grin, Sam said, “Hey, I have eyes, man. It’s obvious. You two keep your eyes on each other whenever you’re together.”
Trace flushed. “I didn’t realize I was so transparent. But what do you mean, ‘too?’”
Lee almost slipped out of Sam’s arms with an especially lively jump. Sam righted them both, and said, “Hey, I know my sister. She’s definitely in love with you.”
Trace stared at Sam in disbelief, and then muttered, “Well, if she is, she has a damn funny way of showing it.”
Sam nodded. “She’s really letting this fight with Bob spoil everything for her, isn’t she?”
Trace nodded. “We were getting along fine until it happened. I thought she was ready to try marriage again, but now…”
Sam nodded. “The first time she ran away physically. Now, I think she’s doing it mentally. Just hiding in her shell, like a turtle. Haven’t you tried to get her to come out of that shell?”
Trace stared at Sam. “Of course, I’ve tried. She’s not listening to me. I think she’s put her emotions in the deep freezer. She’s got some crazy notion she doesn’t deserve to be happy, because she feels she made a mess of her relationship with Bob.”
“I know Bob is miserable, but he’s also very bullheaded. He’s making her miserable, too.”
“Yes.” Trace met Sam’s eyes. “I could use some help, if you’ve got any ideas.” He glumly watched Lisa pull herself up onto the edge of the pool beside Barbara.
Lisa was some woman. She could make him want her across the damn room. Just thinking about how they’d made love could do it to him.
Sam watched the emotions play on Trace’s face, and said, “Next Saturday is Lee’s first birthday, and Tommy will be four two days later. We’re having a birthday party for both boys on Sunday, since their birthdays are so close together. Why don’t you bring Lisa, and I’ll see if I can convince them to make up? We’re inviting Bob and Jodi, too. They both love the boys, and have always come to our family birthday parties.”
“Will they agree to come?”
“I know Lisa is anxious to make amends, so I’ll tell her what I’m planning. Bob is the one who will need a little coaxing. I may even have to lie a little to him. But seeing Lisa smile again would be worth it.”
Trace looked at Sam, a flash of hope lighting his hazel eyes. “Do you think it’ll work?”
With a shrug, Sam said, “I don’t know. They both have a pretty wide stubborn streak. But it’s worth a try.”
Just then, Tommy lost his footing in the water and went down with a squeal of surprise and anger, swallowing water and choking.
Trace took a couple of long strides toward him and plucked him from the water. Sam, quickly tucking the baby under one arm, was right behind him.
By that time, both Lisa and Barbara had heard Tommy’s cries and swum down to their end of the pool. They were now able to stand up in the shallow water, and the women walked toward them, wending their way as fast as possible between the other children in the pool. Tommy was screaming in Trace’s arms, and Lee set up a howl in sympathy.
“Nothing’s hurt but his pride,” Trace said, handing Tommy to his mother’s open arms.
Barbara cuddled and talked to Tommy to quiet his cries, while Sam tried to quiet Lee. Both parents were uncomfortably aware of the attention the boys were bringing them from the other people in the pool.
“I think it’s about time to go back,” Sam declared, leading the way to the steps. “The boys are tired and need to go down for a nap.”
They all climbed the steps out of the pool, and went to the dressing rooms.
Jodi and Renee were waiting for them back at Lisa’s house.
Trace saw Sam take Lisa aside and talk earnestly to her. But he couldn’t hear what was said. Could Sam help solve this? He and Sam had been too far apart in age to be close as young men, but they’d always gotten along. He liked the idea of having Sam as a brother-in-law. But would Lisa listen to Sam?
As they said goodbye to Sam’s family and Jodi, Renee’s presence prevented Trace from taking advantage of Lisa’s more friendly mood, and he went home frustrated again.
Chapter 15
The atmosphere between them stayed cool. But Lisa agreed to ride with Trace to Sam’s house for the boys’ birt
hday party.
Sunday proved a warm, rainy day. They rode mostly in silence for the hour’s drive to Sam’s farm.
“This is it, Trace. Turn here,” Lisa directed Trace, spotting Sam’s driveway through the rain.
Green fields of tall corn lined the gravel driveway, with only a narrow grass-covered ditch to separate road and field. “I feel as though I’m driving through a tunnel to get to their house,” Trace said.
Their white frame farmhouse sat back off the blacktop road by a quarter of a mile.
“Yes, this rain doesn’t help, and the corn is really tall this year. It’s tasseling already, too, see?”
“Mmhm.”
Lisa giggled. “You needn’t pretend you’re interested in anything agricultural. I know you’re really not.”
He turned to smile at her, pleased to see her mood lightening. “You know me too well.”
As soon as they drove up, Sam came out to meet them carrying an umbrella with Tommy at his heels. The fresh smells of wet soil and grass and growing corn surrounded them as they stepped out of the car.
“We heard Fido barking so we knew someone was coming,” Tommy said, jumping up and down in excitement.
“Are the others here yet?”
“Just Jodi, so far. She came last night to help Barbara decorate the living room.”
“Yeah,” Tommy cried. “Come on. You gotta see all the crepe paper streamers and balloons and stuff she brought.”
They dashed inside, shaking off the raindrops, then admired the party decorations and drank coffee. Sam and Barbara’s house was homey and comfortable. The furnishings weren’t new, but everything was clean beneath the clutter of children’s toys. The boys’ excited chatter filled the air. Trace felt immediately welcome and at home. He could see Lisa did, too.
A half hour later, Fido barked again and Jodi announced, “Bob and Annette are here.”
Tommy ran to the window. “Oh, what a pretty red car. Can I get a ride in it? Can I, Dad?”
“We’ll see.”
Lisa desperately shook her head at Sam, who looked helplessly back at her. “Bob drives like a maniac! It’s dangerous,” she whispered to him.