Always Beautiful

by Oien, M. K

  I opened my door and walked to where Zeppelin was standing in front of his car. He crossed his arms and leaned against the hood. “Where are we?” I asked as I rested against the hood beside him. He glanced at me and then stared straight ahead. “It’s a lookout place where you can see the entire city. During the day if it’s clear, you can see the mountain.” I followed his gaze and saw the shimmering lights of the city in the distance. You could make out tail lights and head lights of cars down below, and see the tops of every building downtown. It was amazing.

  “You sure know how to show a girl a good time.” I said, nudging my shoulder in to his. Zeppelin chuckled. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself Angel. I figured we could hang out here for a while. I brought something too.” He said and began to walk around to the trunk of the car. I furrowed my brow in confusion and watched as he pulled out a folded up quilt. He closed the trunk and then went back to the driver’s side of the car. He rolled down the windows and turned the stereo on. Flashing me a smile he shut the door and made his way back to me.

  There was a small patch of grass to the right of us that was on a hill so that you could still see the view. Zeppelin grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the area. He laid the quilt out and then grabbed my hand again. “Will you sit with me?” He asked. I nodded. “Of course,” I was smiling from ear to ear. A week ago when I met Zeppelin, I assumed him to be a flirt, a bad boy. Based on his actions tonight, I began to wonder if I had pegged him wrong.

  We sat down on the quilt next to each other. Zeppelin had his knees bent, his elbows resting on them as he gazed out at the city. I crossed my legs in front of me and leaned back on my hands. I watched the twinkling lights of the city beyond. I loved watching all the movement and wondering what people might be out doing or where they might be headed. It was actually quite private here with a few trees around the grassy area. It almost felt like Zeppelin and I were alone on top of the world.

  “So why fighting?” I asked after a while. Zeppelin slowly looked at me. “It’s more of a release than an income for me anymore.” He said. “In all honesty, it used to be about the money, before I had to go back to Seattle. I was good at it and it was an easy income to help pay the bills.” He shrugged. “But now you do it as a form of some sort of therapy?” I asked. Zeppelin nodded. “Yeah, I mean I could use the money too, but there are some things that I have dealt with that I want to forget about. Fighting helps me do that. I can take my aggression out and clear my head.” He explained.

  I wondered yet again what it was that had happened to him in Seattle or with his family. I wanted to ask but decided I didn’t want to pry and possibly ruin our date or have a repeat of him being tense and quiet at dinner.

  “Do you think you will ever stop fighting?” I asked instead. Zeppelin shrugged. “Eventually I will, maybe sooner than later, who knows. This week, I went back to the old gym I used to go to when I lived here before. Josh works there and he said he would be willing to spar with me if I wanted.” I smiled. “That would be cool. Hannah said he used to fight too.” “Yeah, after he graduated, he stopped. I think this summer is the last that Matt and Dixon will be running the fights anyway.” He said. He stretched his legs out in front of him and lay back with his hands clasped behind his head.

  Smirking, his blue eyes fixed on my face. “Do you remember after the fight last weekend?” He asked. I could feel the heat in my cheeks instantly. Of course I remembered after the fight. Zeppelin had grabbed my hand and whisked me off to that room. I thought about the way his tongue swept over mine and the feel of his body against my own. I bit down on my lip and nodded. Zeppelin’s smirk turned into a wry grin and he stretched his arm out, trailing his fingers down my arm. I shuddered under his touch.

  “Will you lay with me Angel?” He asked softly. I lay back against the thick quilt beside Zeppelin. I stared up at the night sky and watched the stars shimmer. I felt him shift beside me, rolling onto his side. I turned my head to look at him. His head was propped up with his hand, his elbow on the quilt. He used his other hand to stroke my cheek, over my lips and down my neck. Lowering his head, he touched his lips to my cheek gently and then to the corner of my mouth. “Do you remember what I said to you that night?” He asked as he drew back from me slightly.

  I tried to think of what he said, but I couldn’t remember anything distinct. My brow furrowed and I looked in to his blue eyes that looked somehow brighter in the moonlight. “I don’t remember anything specifically. There were so many things you said.” I replied. Zeppelin’s lips tilted up in a smile. “It was after I kissed your lips for the first time in that room, right after the fight.” His thumb slid along my lower lip and I felt my body warm under his touch. I licked my lips and his gaze dropped to my mouth. “Those gorgeous lips that beg for me to kiss them,” He breathed and lowered his head.

  He kissed me slowly, his lips parting as they slid against mine. He rested his hand against my cheek, stroking it with his thumb. After a few minutes, he pulled back and looked at me with a smoldering gaze. “You distracted me Angel.” He said with a low chuckle. “Sorry, what were you trying to tell me?” I asked with a smile. “After Dixon interrupted us, you mentioned something about how incredible I made you feel…Or something like “Wow.”” He replied with a smirk. I laughed and shook my head. Now I remembered what he was talking about.

  “You said you would make me see stars.” Zeppelin’s grin widened and he nodded. “Exactly, that’s the reason I brought you up here tonight. You can see the stars, much better than in the city. No one ever really comes up here at this time of night.” He settled himself again so that he was lying on his back. His right arm was tucked behind his head and his left bent at the elbow with his hand resting on his stomach. I giggled. “Thank you.” I said as I turned my head to look at him. “You’re welcome Lucky. Thank you for allowing me to take you out tonight. It wasn’t so bad being surprised was it?” He asked. I shook my head. “No, not at all, I’m glad you won the bet.”

  Zeppelin smiled and turned on his side again. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him, causing me to shift to my side as well. His eyes met mine and we just gazed at each other for an immeasurable amount of time. My breathing grew heavier as his hand slid lower to my hip, his thumb moving in a circular motion against my lower stomach.

  Never breaking eye contact, Zeppelin then slid his hand to my thigh, making me shiver. His touch felt so warm, so intoxicating. Not saying anything, he suddenly moved so that his body was hovering over mine. His hand at my thigh grasped tightly as he hitched it around his waist. His forehead fell to rest against mine as he panted, his breath heating my face.

  He pressed his hips against mine carefully and I could feel how hard he was against my center. A gasp mixed with a moan escaped my throat and I closed my eyes. Zeppelin’s other hand snaked into my hair behind my head and he tilted it up, brushing his lips against mine. I immediately parted my lips and wrapped my arms around his neck. He licked my bottom lip before gliding his tongue against mine.

  His lips drew back and traveled across my cheek to my ear where he nibbled my lobe gently and let out a soft moan. I lifted my hips, feeling the heat pool low in my belly. It created a magnificent friction as I moved against his body.

  “Oh Angel, you’re going to make me come undone.” Zeppelin groaned as he pressed himself in to me harder. His hand left my thigh and slid to the hem of my shirt, where he began pushing it up my heated skin. His palm lay flat against my ribs as it traveled slowly up toward my bra. He cupped my breast softly and I let out a moan.

  I moved my trembling hands to the front of his shirt and began undoing the buttons. It didn’t take long to have it completely removed. I took in Zeppelin’s smooth chest, the piercing, his taught abs and the script tattoo along his ribcage. I ran my hands along his stomach and up. I remembered what he had said last Saturday about how I could touch him and bite him and scratch him a little if I wanted. I ran my thumb roughly across the barbell in his nipple and he su
cked in a shaky breath. I smiled to myself knowing now that he liked it and I wasn’t hurting him.

  Zeppelin’s lips moved back to mine and I let my tongue run against his lower lip slowly before pulling it in to my mouth between my teeth. I gently bit down and heard a rumble in Zeppelin’s chest. “Fuck.” He growled as he pulled away from me. His blue eyes pinned me. “Damn baby, I don’t know if I can stop this. You’ve got me hard as a fucking rock right now.” He said. Hearing his words, butterflies expanded in my belly. This was it. I either needed to stop this right now or go all the way.

  “I can feel it Zeppelin.” I took a shallow breath. “I feel how hard you are and I want it. I want you…inside me.” Caught up in the moment, feeling that recklessness that we had talked about earlier, I decided that this was something that I not only wanted but felt like I needed. I was totally nervous. I was scared to lose my virginity because I didn’t want to be in pain. But the thought of stopping right now, it hurt me more. I made the choice to just go for it. Somehow I knew deep down that it wasn’t something I could ever regret. I was also incredibly thankful for the fact that I had been on birth control for years and didn’t need to worry about getting pregnant.

  Zeppelin’s eyelids lowered and he let out an unsteady breath. “Lucky…You don’t have to…” He began to pull away from me. He sat back on his heels between my legs and ran a hand through his hair as he closed his eyes. “I know I don’t have to. I want to Zeppelin. Please don’t stop.” I breathed. His eyes opened and he cocked a brow. “You’re begging for me?” He asked in a growl. I bit my lip and nodded slowly. “I need you Zeppelin, so bad. I want you right now.” I told him in a husky voice. I was surprised at this new found boldness, but I kind of liked it. It felt good to just let the emotions and feelings take over.

  In an instant, Zeppelin was on top of me again and devouring my mouth with his own. “Damn baby, your voice alone could get me off.” He said between kisses. “You sure you want this, me, here?” He asked. “Yes, please Zeppelin.” Something came over him in that moment and he pulled my shirt off quickly. Once it was removed, his eyes swept over me before meeting my eyes again. He hovered over my body on his knees and trailed his fingers along my collar bone down to my left breast. I moaned as he squeezed gently and slid his thumb back and forth over the fabric of my bra.

  My hands slid up his tattooed arms to his biceps were I dug my nails in. I felt Zeppelin shudder before he lowered his head to my chest and slid his hand to my back, unclasping my bra. Pulling the fabric away from my skin, he began placing kisses all over my naked chest. His tongue swept over my nipple and I felt a flood of warmth in my core. One of his hands worked the opposite breast while his other traveled to the waistband of my leggings and dipped into them. His fingers ran over my center and I gasped. Zeppelin lifted his head to look at me.

  “I need to be inside you.” He panted. “Yes.” I managed to say. He pulled back from me again and began removing my sandals from my feet. After that, he kicked off his own shoes and socks. His hands went to my hips and began to slide my leggings down along with my underwear. I lifted to help him remove my clothing and then sat up. I was sitting on a quilt in the middle of an open viewpoint off the highway naked. This was so unlike me. It was dangerous and careless, but ultimately I had never felt more alive.

  Maybe it was the adrenaline coursing through me and the excitement of something new, but I didn’t want to stop. I was eager to feel every part of Zeppelin. I began to work the belt around his waist and then I undid the top button of his pants. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and his hands were clenched at his sides. I looked up at him through my lashes.

  “Do you want this Zeppelin?” I asked softly. He seemed just as nervous as I was. I watched his throat move as he swallowed and then spoke in a gruff voice. “Yeah Angel, I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted anything more.” His words hit me in my hammering heart. He’d never wanted anything more than me? My hands were shaky as I continued to look up at him while pulling down the zipper. Zeppelin fisted a hand in my hair and bent down to kiss me passionately.

  His other hand went to my lower back as he guided me slowly toward the quilt again. Once I was lying down, he began tugging his own pants off. I glanced down and saw that he was wearing a pair of red boxer briefs that were being removed as well. I bit my lip as I took in the sight of him. He was really hard and without a doubt well endowed. Zeppelin’s eyes moved to mine and then down to where I had just been looking. He let out a small laugh that was in no way comical.

  “I’m not going to hurt you Angel, I promise.” He rested his forehead against mine. “You’re sure?” He asked. I nodded against him and swallowed my heart that was now mercilessly pounding in my throat. “I know you won’t hurt me on purpose. And yes, I’m sure.” I said quietly. Zeppelin slowly lowered his body on top of mine. His length slid against my center and I moaned loudly. His hand still wound in my hair, lifted my head so that he could crush his lips to mine. I felt my body building toward an intense release. My hands moved to his waist where I scratched against his hips as he moved against me.

  Zeppelin pulled his lips away from me, his breathing was ragged and his body shook. Brushing his thumb along my jaw he said, “I’m not sure I can do this. You’re all I think about and God, I’ve imagined this more times than I can count.” He let out a slow breath. “What if I’m not good enough, what if I don’t make you feel good?”

  I gaped at him. He wasn’t sure if he could make me feel good? He’d been doing a fine job of that since the day I met him. It was endearing to me how nervous he was, how unsure, even though I was the one that was a virgin. I shook my head and clutched his arms above his elbows.

  “That’s not possible Zeppelin. You always make me feel good. Your touch…” I reached up and touched the hand that was along my jaw. “Your touch alone drives me crazy. And your kiss…It takes my breath away. I can’t promise that I’ll be good, but you will be good, when you’re with me you’re so good.” “Lucky, I need you so bad right now.” He said hoarsely. And then he began kissing me again, his tongue slid along my lower lip before entering my mouth. I melted in to him once again, my hands winding around his neck and pulling him closer to me.

  “Jesus Lucky, you’re so warm, so wet.” He groaned as he slid against me. Zeppelin’s brow furrowed. “This is going to hurt for a minute Angel. God help me I don’t want to hurt you.” I nodded. “I know.” I took a deep breath and my muscles tensed as his hand reached between us. He wrapped his long fingers around his length and bit down on his bottom lip. Pressing against my core, I felt him begin to slide inside of me. Instinctively, I lifted my hips. Zeppelin tensed.

  “Hold still baby,” He lowered his head and brushed his lips against mine. “Relax Angel.” He whispered, running a hand through my hair. I tried to calm down. My body was already quivering, my breath labored. Zeppelin pressed inside me once again a little further. He groaned and I felt more warmth pooling down below. I struggled to keep my hips still as he filled me. The fullness overtook the dull, needy ache. He pulled back, cradling my face with one hand and clutching my hip with the other.

  “Look at me Angel.” He rasped. I opened my eyes and gazed in to his calming, Sapphire depths. He pressed further in, his eyes locked on mine. I winced at the sharp stab of pain and Zeppelin shuddered, biting his lower lip again as he breathed through his teeth. “You’re so tight.” He muttered.

  He pulled out and then back in slowly so my body could adjust to him. The sensations of pleasure began to return slowly, much more heightened than before. We began to move together now and I closed my eyes as I wrapped a hand around his bicep and the other one tangled in his hair. I let this unfamiliar feeling take over. I had never experienced something so wonderfully amazing before.

  Zeppelin moaned in my ear as his head fell to the crook of my neck. I felt myself climbing higher as he moved faster. “Oh. My. God.” I muttered. “Are you enjoying yourself?” He asked. I felt his smile against my skin an
d then he began to nibble on my neck. “Mmm…” Was the only response I could mutter as I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist. Zeppelin groaned and began to kiss me fiercely.

  Tugging my lip with his teeth, I squeezed my legs tightly around him and felt my heart race faster, my breaths come quicker and shorter. My entire body soared as I felt the release that I had been waiting for. I’m pretty sure at some point I was screaming his name, I think I did see stars and I wasn’t sure if it was the ones in the sky or not. Zeppelin pushed in to me once more and then his body stiffened and shook as he found his own release.

  Panting heavily and body’s slick with sweat, Zeppelin collapsed beside me. I laid there on my back, my hands resting on either side of my head. I felt relaxed and sated. Zeppelin let out a large breath and turned his head to look at me. “That was incredible Angel.” He said with a smile. I smiled back. “How do you feel?” He asked as he raised his head, propping it with his hand. “I feel perfect.” I replied. A crooked smile formed on his lips. “You are perfect.” He said as he leaned down to kiss my swollen lips.

  Chapter 7

  ~June 2012~

  The night of our first date was only the beginning for Zeppelin and me. We lay on that quilt for hours after getting dressed again. He held me tightly as we gazed at the star soaked sky talking and kissing. It was amazing, he was amazing. When he took me home early in the morning hours, he kissed me at the door. The kiss lit a fire in me again and without much hesitation, he decided to stay over. He slept beside me that night after making love for the second time. His strong, tattooed arms wound around me, keeping me close.

  We were practically inseparable after that. If Zeppelin wasn’t coming over to hang out at Dixon’s, I would see him at my uncle’s shop helping out. There was another fight the following weekend, and I went with Hannah and Josh to watch. This time when he was done fighting, Zeppelin took me back to his place. He lived in a loft style apartment in Downtown Portland. It was modern and beautiful with hardwood floors and stainless steel appliances. I loved the windows and the view it had, though I didn’t see much of that view until later on.