by Oien, M. K
Everything was all unpacked and in order rather quickly which made the move really easy. Afterward, we all decided to order pizza and hang out. The boys went to the store to make a beer run and Hannah and I stayed behind. I sat down in what would most likely become my favorite chair, the vintage, green one by the window. Hannah lay on the couch and closed her eyes.
“I’m so tired.” She complained after letting out a huge yawn. “You hardly helped.” I argued and tossed a throw pillow in my chair at her. She giggled and threw it back at me. “I was up late last night okay.” She said. “Is your boyfriend wearing you out?” I teased. Hannah sat up narrowing her eyes at me and pursing her lips. The smile on my face fell and I furrowed my brow.
“What is it?” I asked. Something was definitely up. I could tell by the way she was looking at me. She was thinking of how to tell me something, I was sure of it. “Don’t even think about keeping secrets from me.” I ordered as I pointed a finger at her. Hannah took a deep breath and exhaled. I felt a knot form in my stomach.
“I’m not allowed to say anything about it. And If I’m being honest, I really wish I didn’t know what I know either.” She said. My face crumpled in confusion. “What do you know, Hannah?” She bit down on her lip and her eyes fell to her hands in her lap. I groaned. “You’re killing me! First Zeppelin’s got something that he is hiding from me for whatever reason, and now you too? God, Hannah are you people conspiring to drive me insane, because if you are, you are doing a good job. It’s working.”
“Lucky, I know why he went to Seattle.” She said quietly. It was so quiet that I wasn’t exactly sure if I had heard her correctly. Why would Hannah know why Zeppelin left and not me? Did that mean that everyone else knew as well? I felt myself getting angry at the thought of being the only one left out. Dixon especially had been acting different since a few weeks back and now I was certain that he had known all along. What the hell was this big secret and why couldn’t I be a part of it?
“Is it something bad?” I asked after a few minutes. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know what it was that he was hiding. Apparently it was necessary for him to tell everyone else but not so important that he could tell me. Of course I had only known him for about two months. Did he not feel comfortable sharing with me yet? I found that hard to believe considering he had no issues sleeping with me almost immediately.
Perhaps he didn’t care for me like he said he did. Maybe he was only saying what he thought I wanted to hear in order to get what he wanted from me. Was it possible that Zeppelin was using me and I was too stupid and too naïve to see that? I didn’t think so, but at this point I wasn’t sure what to make of anything. I felt utterly sick about it now.
Hannah began biting her fingernail, a definite tell that she was unsure and nervous about something. I knew her about as well as I knew myself. She looked up at me and nodded. My heart sank a little bit. What could it possibly be that was bad that had him going to Seattle?
“Did someone die in his family or something? Are his parents getting a divorce?” I threw a series of questions out at her hoping that she would give me anything. I knew that Hannah wouldn’t tell me the entire secret.
For one, I was sure that she heard it from Josh and not Zeppelin. And second, she wasn’t one to blab about others if they were keeping something dear to them. She wouldn’t even rat someone out to the cops at the risk of being tortured. She was definitely stubborn and that was one of the reasons why I trusted her. I also knew that whatever it was, she wanted me to know some of it or else she wouldn’t be bringing it up.
“It isn’t like that, Lucky. It has to do with Zeppelin. He had to go to Seattle to take care of some things for himself. That’s all I can really say.” She replied. I sighed. “Why won’t he just tell me?” I asked her. Hannah shook her head. “I’m not sure, but I think he is trying to protect you in a way. He likes you too much to cause you to worry and you guys have a good thing going. I don’t think he wants to complicate it.” She said.
I thought about what she was saying. So he was neglecting telling me something clearly important about him because he didn’t want to complicate things. In a weird way it sort of made sense, but at the same time I was unsure of how to proceed with him. I guess I would just have to pretend that everything was fine and I didn’t have a million and one burning questions in my head.
“Why were you up late though?” I asked. “I don’t understand why hearing something about Zeppelin would keep you awake.” I added. Hannah quit chewing her nails and shrugged. “He had come to the gym last night after he left you to work out with Josh. Josh invited him over to hang out and Zeppelin told him that he had something to tell him. It was just a late night and it took Josh a while to recover from the news.”
My stomach flipped and I let out a heavy sigh as I covered my face with my hands. “I am not a fan of this secrecy one bit.” I grumbled. “I’m sorry Lucky. Just know that everything should be fine and Zeppelin will probably tell you eventually.” She said reassuringly. I shook my head. “I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.” I said. “Ugh! This does not bode well for my whole order and routine side.”
Hannah started laughing. “You have got to lighten up!” She cried. I removed my hands from my face and narrowed my eyes at her. “I think I’m getting a lot better.” I stated. Hannah shook her head and smiled at me. “Baby steps kid, you have made a few tiny baby steps. You’ll get there one day. Ease up.” She replied. “I only wanted to share as much as I could because I want you to know that I’m here for you and you shouldn’t worry too much. Zeppelin likes you. He doesn’t want to lose you.”
I attempted to do exactly what Hannah said and lighten up. I decided to not bring up the secrets or question Zeppelin on what he was hiding from me because I didn’t want him to feel pressured in to telling me. I also didn’t want him knowing that Hannah had told me a little bit about what was going on. I just let it go. Really, there was nothing else I could do. I mean, I could have been demanding and left him alone, but I didn’t want that.
It was the following Wednesday and Hannah and I were having lunch at a little diner near campus. I had completed my registration for the medical school and received my schedule and list of books as well as supplies I would need. I was anticipating the start of the school year. If anything, it would be another way to keep my mind off of things.
“So Matt was talking about going up to Cannon Beach next weekend as an end of the summer thing. You interested?” Hannah asked me before taking a bite of her sandwich. I had heard Dixon mention something about how Matt’s aunt had a home right on the beach that she let him use occasionally.
“That sounds like fun. Who is all going?” I asked. “Well Josh and I are definitely going as well as Matt, obviously. Dixon said he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go, but then I think Tucker talked him into it.” She replied. I nodded. “I think I’m interested. It would be nice to get away for the weekend before schools starts.” I said. “Josh said he was going to talk to Zeppelin about it. How are things going with him by the way?”
I set my fork down and swallowed the bite of pasta I had just eaten. “Things are great with Zeppelin. He’s so nice to me and he’s an amazing kisser. He makes me feel really good, but I just can’t help always wondering what is going on with him you know?” Hannah nodded. “I can imagine how hard that is for you Lucky, but just try not to worry about it too much. Once school starts up you will have other things to focus on. Maybe you’re spending too much time together.” She said.
I nodded. “I was thinking about that the other day. Everything with him has happened so fast and I haven’t really had a chance to wrap my head around it all. I mean I really like him, I might even be close to falling in love with him. That scares me because I don’t know if I want that.” I admitted. Hannah stretched her hand across the table to rest on mine. “It will all work out how it’s supposed to. I promise that no matter what happens, I’ll be here for you.” She said.
I loved my best friend for being around to talk to and help sort my thoughts. My feelings for Zeppelin were growing more every day. Yet my worries were also expanding at the same time. I was completely torn and I hoped that Hannah’s words rang true.
~~~
That next Friday morning, we were getting ready to head out to Matt’s aunt’s house at Cannon Beach. Zeppelin and I were driving together in his GTO and following Josh and Hannah. We were at Dixon’s house, helping him pack his truck up with a beer pong table, two coolers of beer and enough food to feed us for the weekend. He was riding up with Tucker and Matt. They were looking forward to spending the weekend getting drunk and having a fire on the beach.
Zeppelin kept telling me about how we were going to walk along the beach and swim and maybe even do some hiking in the woods. I was excited to get away with him and hopefully have some time to clear my head and put all of my worries to rest.
As soon as the truck was loaded, Zeppelin wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my lips softly. “You ready to go Angel?” He asked with a sexy smirk. I nodded and kissed him back. “I can’t wait to see what our room looks like.” I winked at him. Zeppelin chuckled and pulled me in for a hug. “You’re adorable Lucky, I can’t wait either.” He said as he released me.
“Race you there!” Hannah called out as she ran by me and smacked me on the back side. She opened the door to Josh’s Charger. I stuck my tongue out at her. “You’re going down lady!” I hollered back. I walked over to the passenger side of the GTO and opened my door. I glanced at Zeppelin who had just pulled his phone out of his pocket. It was ringing and he was just staring at the screen.
“Are you going to answer that?” Dixon asked him as he walked around him to his truck. Zeppelin furrowed his brow and then nodded slowly as he swiped his finger across the screen and brought the phone to his ear. I watched him as he wandered down the driveway toward the street. Whoever it was that called him, he wanted privacy.
I got in the car and watched as he stood with his free hand in his pocket, staring at the asphalt below his feet. I could make out his profile as his side was to me, but I had no way of knowing his expression and whether he was happy about the call or not. His shoulders slumped and his hand holding the phone lowered to his side. He stayed like that for a minute.
I was about to get out of the car and see if he was alright when he turned and began walking toward the GTO as he put his phone back in his pocket. He got inside and started the car without a word.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as he backed up and let the others go ahead of him. He nodded. “Sure, never better Angel.” He stretched his hand across the console and squeezed my hand gently before picking it up and placing a kiss on the back of it. He set my hand back down on my thigh as he shifted the car into gear and proceeded to follow Josh’s car.
Nearly two hours later we were pulling up in front of a large house that looked to be everything a beach house should be. It had an angled roof and large windows. There was little to the yard in the front but there was a cute wooden fence around the perimeter and an archway with a gate at the front. Everyone got out of the cars and wandered up to the front door while Matt unlocked it.
It was beautiful inside. I slowly took in our new surroundings for the weekend. Off to the right side of the entry way was a staircase that led up to the second floor while straight ahead was a large living room area with a few sectional couches and a recliner. A large flat screen television was mounted on the wall as well. On the left of the entrance was a decent sized kitchen with stainless steel appliances and granite countertops. There was even an island countertop in the middle.
Matt gave us a tour of the main floor and as we moved further in to the kitchen, I noticed a sliding glass door that led out to a patio with a hot tub and a table set with one of those big umbrellas in the middle. There was a stone walkway that led directly on to the beach. It was breathtaking. I could definitely get used to coming to a place like this every year.
After checking out the main floor, he showed us upstairs where there were four bedrooms and two bathrooms. Hannah and Josh called the bedroom with its own bathroom in it. I didn’t really care because the room itself wasn’t that great. The last bedroom that we saw was mine and I called it the moment I stepped inside.
There was a bay window with a little sitting area that faced the ocean. The bed was massive and adorned with a dark purple comforter and matching pillows. Zeppelin agreed to the room and we all began bringing our stuff in to get settled and unpack.
After we were all situated, the guys decided to wander the beach to pick a spot for a fire later that evening. Hannah and I joined them and went about searching for sand dollars and sea shells in good condition. One of the coolest things about the beach was the scenery. There were a few large rock formations in the water including one that was named Haystack Rock. The weather was beautiful and I loved hearing the sounds of the waves crashing and gulls flying in the wind. There were a few other people along the beach, but it wasn’t overly crowded which was nice.
My gaze wandered over to where Zeppelin and Josh were standing near the water. They seemed to be in some sort of deep conversation. Part of me wondered if it had to do with whatever secret Zeppelin was keeping. I had also wondered if the phone call earlier was linked to whatever he was hiding. It was getting more difficult to try and just brush it off. Hannah caught me staring at the two and linked her arm in mine.
“This is going to be a fun and care-free weekend okay?” She said. I nodded. “I know, I just can’t help that it sort of hurts to not know what is going on with him.” I admitted. “I know Lucky, but I promise it will be okay. Look I found a starfish!” She squealed excitedly. I giggled and plucked it from her hands. “That’s pretty rad friend.” I said. “I know we should go get some stuff together for lunch. It’s after Noon and I’m starving.” Hannah replied.
I reluctantly looked away from Zeppelin and followed her back up the pathway to the house. I had a feeling, I didn’t know why or where it came from just then, but it felt like whatever Zeppelin was hiding wouldn’t be a secret for much longer. I just couldn’t take not knowing and it would be better to deal with it sooner rather than later. What if I slipped and told him I loved him? The fear of being crushed and heartbroken didn’t sit well with me. I needed answers soon.
Later that evening after the sun set, we all grabbed some blankets and gathered around a fire that Dixon and Tucker made. The guys had even moved over big pieces of driftwood so that we could sit atop them comfortably. Matt set up a small stereo near one of the coolers and we all hung out, drinking beer and talking.
Zeppelin sat beside me with his arms around my waist as I kept warm with a flannel blanket surrounding me. He kept randomly kissing my hair or my cheek as Dixon talked about a time a few years ago when Zeppelin lost a fight.
“This guy was smaller than Zep which is crazy. We all figured that Zeppelin could take him easily and of course bet against the other guy.” He said. Zeppelin rolled his eyes. “Man, he wasn’t that much smaller than me. You’re telling it wrong.” He accused. Matt joined in next. “No dude, he was at least a foot shorter than you. Quit trying to be cool in front of Lucky.” He teased. “She already thinks I’m cool.” Zeppelin said and then turned to me. “You think I’m cool, right Angel?” He asked.
I smiled and pretended to think about it for a few minutes. I took a drink of my beer and looked out toward the dark ocean. Everyone started laughing. I looked at Zeppelin who was trying to look angry, but couldn’t hide his smile very well. Shrugging, I finally said, “Yeah, I guess you’re pretty cool.” “Yeah!” He cheered and then grabbed my face and kissed me hard.
“You have no sense of privacy when it comes to PDA.” Matt groaned as he threw a marshmallow at us. I ignored his comment and continued to let Zeppelin kiss me. Slowly I lifted my hand and shot my middle finger up in Matt’s direction. Hannah started laughing. “That’s my girl.” She said. I pulled away fro
m Zeppelin and tried to catch my breath. “Doesn’t it bother you to see your cousin all up on your friend?” Tucker asked Dixon as he got up to get another beer.
Dixon raised a brow at Tucker. “I don’t think about what they do together and when they are together around me I choose to just turn my head. Honestly I’d rather see her with him than any other guy.” Dixon stated as he walked past Zeppelin and punched his arm. Zeppelin smiled at him.
“Alright, enough of this mushy stuff, let’s have some fun.” Matt said as he clapped his hands together. “Yeah, let’s play truth or dare.” Hannah beamed excitedly. “What are we twelve?” Dixon asked. I stuck my tongue out at him. “Truth or dare is for any age. I’m with Hannah.” I said. After not knowing what else to come up with to do, everyone agreed to play. Hannah said she would go first since she thought of the idea.
“Alright Dixon, truth or dare?” She asked. “Truth because I don’t trust you at all and I’m sure you would make me do something crazy.” He said. “Okay, why aren’t you and Regina exclusive?” Hannah asked with a smirk. I remembered that was the girl from the party a few months ago. I had seen her around every once in a while but Dixon didn’t talk about her much. I was awaiting his answer too.
“Who says we’re not exclusive?” Dixon shot back and took a pull of his beer. “You have a girlfriend and didn’t tell me?” I shrieked, pinning my cousin with a glare. He rolled his eyes at me and shook his head. “I just asked her last week Lucky, calm down.” He replied. “Why didn’t she come out this weekend?” I asked. “She had plans to visit her family or else she would be here.” He said.
“I had no idea.” Hannah muttered. “It’s your turn Dixon.” She added. Dixon grinned wickedly and looked at Matt. “Truth or dare dipshit?” He asked. “Dare.” Matt responded. I shivered under my blanket and moved closer to Zeppelin’s side. The wind had started to pick up and my hair was still damp from being in the hot tub earlier with Hannah.