Always Beautiful

by Oien, M. K

  “Do you want to go inside baby?” Zeppelin murmured in my ear. His lips traveled down to my cheek and he kissed me softly as he held me tighter to him. “Will you keep me warm?” I asked him with a raised brow. He chuckled and his blue eyes met mine. “Yeah baby, I’ll keep you very warm.” He vowed. I felt his other hand graze up my thigh under the blanket.

  He rested his forehead against mine as his hand slipped further up. I bit my lip to stifle the moan as his thumb pressed along my center over my shorts. Zeppelin licked his lips slowly and kept his gaze locked on mine as he began to move his thumb in slow circles. He was touching me in front of everyone and I didn’t care. The blanket kept his hand hidden, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to control myself much longer.

  “Is this how you want me to keep you warm?” He asked softly. “Yes.” I breathed. Zeppelin smirked at me. He started to speak but was cut off. “Hey! Earth to the love birds!” Tucker shouted suddenly and it was like a bucket of cold water was dumped on me. Zeppelin’s hand stilled and we both turned to look at him. “Are you playing or not?” He asked.

  “Actually, I’m kind of tired and cold. I think I’m going to head to bed. All of this fresh air is getting to me.” I said as I shrugged the blanket off of me and stood. “Let me guess, you’re following her to bed?” Hannah questioned Zeppelin with a raised brow. He smiled and stood up too. “I’d follow her anywhere.” He replied and then grabbed my hand, leading me up toward the house.

  I heard Hannah say, “Aww…He loves her!” As we walked away from the group and I chose to ignore that comment. Did Zeppelin love me? Well I didn’t really know. He hadn’t said that he did. I knew that he cared about me and had said he was falling for me. We were obviously as intimate as lovers.

  Zeppelin and I went up the stairs to the bedroom we were sharing without speaking a word. His hand was holding mine until he allowed me to enter ahead of him and then he turned to shut the door. He turned back around to face me and approached me slowly. In one fluid movement, he removed his shirt and tossed it beside the dresser.

  The look of intensity on his face had me frozen and rendered speechless. I just stood there, watching him. He stood in front of me silently. His eyes shimmered as he gazed into mine. He stretched his hands out in front of him and grasped one of mine. Slowly, he lifted it to his chest and placed it against his heart.

  Zeppelin closed his eyes, his shoulders moved up and down slightly as he breathed in and out. Still not speaking, he leaned his face closer and rested his forehead against mine. His touch, his proximity, had the air in my lungs ceasing and my heart pumped erratically. Taking a deep breath, Zeppelin began speaking yet his eyes remained closed.

  “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Lucky.” He removed one of his hands from mine and rested it against my cheek. He pulled his head back a little to gaze into my eyes. “You asked me before why I called you angel.” He said softly. I nodded and remained quiet. Zeppelin took a deep breath. “You’re my happy place. Whether I’m kissing you or buried inside you; when I’m with you, touching you, holding you. Just breathing the same air as you Angel, you’re heaven for me.”

  Tears shimmered in my eyes and a small smile spread across my lips. I ran my free hand along his arm up to his shoulder slowly. I felt him shudder beneath my touch and his bare skin prickled in goosebumps.

  “I like being your happy place Zeppelin.” I began. “These last few months have meant a lot to me and I’m glad that I let you in.”

  Without saying anything more, Zeppelin pressed his lips to mine and kissed me passionately. My arms wound around his shoulders and my hands tangled in his hair. He groaned against my mouth and put his hands on my waist, pulling me into his body. His lips left mine, traveling slow and simmering toward my ear.

  “I want to make love to you Angel.” He whispered. “Nice and slow as I worship your gorgeous body and show you just how much you mean to me.”

  I gasped at his words, feeling every sort of emotion hit me at once. My heart was racing, my body was trembling and the need for him had me aching with an intense desire. Once again I was under no control of my own and the heat between us, the chemistry, took over.

  I remembered a time back when we had our first date and I gave myself to him completely. I had wondered if the connection we had shared was a one-time thing. I didn’t truly expect to fall into something with Zeppelin that was this immense and powerful.

  I now knew that every single time with him was like the first time and the passion he gave me, the way he made me feel, was like nothing else I had ever experienced. I was completely and helplessly hooked on Zeppelin Rhoades and the thought of being without him sent a pain to my chest, so great that it would break me. I’m not sure I could ever be the same after him. I don’t think I wanted to.

  Chapter 10

  ~August 2012~

  The early morning sun shone through the sheer curtains in our bedroom and woke me before I was ready. Zeppelin was still fast asleep beside me, His arm curled protectively around my waist. We had fallen asleep after making love, naked in each other’s arms. Everything he said he wanted to do, we did.

  Last night was different than any other time. It was deeper somehow and my emotions were higher. He had stripped me of my clothes slowly, kissing every inch of my body as he did so. He undressed himself and lifted me in his arms, laying me gently on the bed. It still sent my heart racing and created butterflies when I thought of how he had looked at me as he slipped inside of me.

  Zeppelin watched my face as we moved together, kissing my lips sweetly every now and then. My eyes stayed connected to his too, and when the time came for release, we did so together, both of us crying out. It was beautiful, it was romantic, and it was in that moment that I knew that I loved Zeppelin without a doubt.

  My head was resting against the pillow and I turned it slightly to look at Zeppelin’s face. His lips were parted slightly as he breathed evenly in a peaceful sleep. A few days-worth of growth covered his square jaw. My gaze wandered to the arm that was around me, the one that wasn’t fully covered in ink like his left one.

  This one only had script written just below his shoulder along with a shaded cross. I had always taken notice of his tattoos, but this one I had yet to question him about. I knew the reasoning behind the “Always Beautiful” tattoo and the dragon curving up his other arm he said was meant to be symbolism. He had read somewhere that the meaning of a dragon in European mythology was derived from two separate Greek words. One of them meaning “I see clearly”.

  He said that he felt compelled to have the sleeve done while in Seattle the year before. I didn’t really ask him why. The tattoo was beautiful. I let my hand trail along the script of the Psalm written on his arm with the cross. “Human life is but a breath…” it read, along with the words Psalm 39:6 below.

  Zeppelin’s arm flexed and he squeezed my waist gently. I looked back to his face and watched as his blue eyes opened slowly, blinking a few times before settling on me. A half smile formed on his lips. “Good morning Angel.” He said softly and pressed a kiss against my cheek. “Good morning.” I replied with a smile of my own. My fingers were still resting along the tattoo I had been examining.

  “Why did you get this?” I asked as I looked at the ink again. Zeppelin’s head moved slightly to look at his arm and then his gaze landed on mine again. “It’s from a Psalm in the bible. I read it once and it stuck with me. The full text says “Human life is but a breath and it disappears like a shadow. Our struggles are senseless; we store up more, without ever knowing who will get it all”. I interpret it as meaning you shouldn’t waste your short life on things you can’t take with you when you go. You should live for what matters and never take things for granted.” He explained.

  I nodded. “That makes sense.” I said. “Every one of your tattoos has a significant meaning to you. I know that your last name is sort of obvious, but why did you get that on your back?” I wondered. Zeppelin smiled at me and pressed
his lips against mine for a brief moment. “So many questions this early in the morning…” He murmured. I shrugged. “I guess I just want to know you more.” I admitted quietly.

  Zeppelin furrowed his brow and searched my face. After a few minutes he nodded and snuggled in closer to me, resting his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair as he began speaking.

  “I have cousins on my mom’s side of the family that are male, but none on my father’s side. Basically, I am the last one to carry on the Rhoades name since I don’t have any brothers. To me it’s a huge deal having that kind of weight on your shoulders. If for some reason I can’t marry or have children, the name will stop with me. I wanted it etched on my skin to symbolize who I was and how it made me feel.”

  I wasn’t expecting that sort of response from him and when he mentioned not being able to marry or have kids, my heart stopped momentarily. Why couldn’t he have that? I also wondered if that was something that he definitely wanted in his future. I know we had only been casually kind of in a relationship for the summer, but the thought of becoming his wife one day or the mother of his children sent a thrill through me.

  “Why do you think that for some reason you can’t marry or have children one day?” I asked quietly. Zeppelin lifted his head from my chest and looked at me. He began shaking his head slowly. “There are no guarantees in life Lucky.” He said simply. He sat up in bed and moved his body over mine, settling between my legs.

  He kissed me until I was breathless and craving him. “No more talking now Angel. All I can think about is being inside your warm body, hearing you whisper my name as I give you all I have.” He sunk his teeth into my bottom lip, effectively causing me to moan. We had all the time in the world to talk later. For now I would let him have what he and I both wanted.

  After a blissful hour of being wrapped up in each other, Zeppelin and I showered together and dressed for the day. Matt said that there were some good hiking trails not far from here and we had plans to check them out. When we got downstairs, Hannah was standing at the stove making a delicious smelling breakfast.

  Zeppelin and Josh started talking about the upcoming hike as I got some coffee started. “How did you sleep last night?” Hannah asked with a wide grin. “Perfect.” I sighed dreamily as I scooped the coffee grounds into the maker. Hannah giggled and swatted my backside with a spatula. “You are so smitten.” She said with a giggle. I rolled my eyes at her.

  “Like you’re not that way with Josh.” I muttered sarcastically. Hannah shrugged. “True, I do love him and love being with him. Have you guys said you love each other yet?” She asked. My face fell a little and I shook my head. “But you love him don’t you?” She whispered. I stared at her for a minute and then nodded my head once. “I knew it!” She exclaimed.

  “Keep it down.” I whisper shouted with a swat to her arm. The guys were sitting at the table in the dining area, and I didn’t really want them hearing this conversation. “What’s stopping you from telling Zeppelin how you feel?” Hannah asked. I stepped closer to her at the stove and spoke quietly. “I’ve never felt the way I feel about him with anyone else before. Not even Jeremy.” I admitted. “Not to mention his random evasiveness the past few weeks. I don’t think I could handle the rejection of him not saying it back. Besides, I have school next week starting and I’m going to be busier. What if we start to fall apart?” I asked.

  Hannah pursed her lips and thought for a moment as she whisked the eggs in the pan. “I understand what you’re saying Lucky, but that’s the beauty of love. It’s scary and thrilling and wonderful all at the same time. If you don’t take chances, you may miss out on something great.” She raised a brow at me. “Honestly, I think he’s crazy about you and of course there are sure to be ups and downs, but you two are perfect for each other.” She said.

  “I just don’t think I’m ready for that sort of commitment yet.” I said. Hannah nodded. “Well don’t hold back if he opens up to you okay? Zeppelin would never hurt you intentionally. We were talking about that last night after you guys went to bed. It’s so damn obvious that he loves you. Just try to be open minded.” “You guys were talking about us?” I questioned. Hannah rolled her eyes this time and turned down the burner on the stove.

  “Of course we were. Dixon says he’s never seen you so happy and all the guys think you’re really good for Zeppelin.” I smiled. “Thanks I guess.” I said as I turned back to the now brewed coffee. I poured myself a cup and added some creamer. “Do you need help with anything?” I asked Hannah. “Yeah, you can set the stuff out on the table.” She said.

  Dixon and Tucker came barreling down the stairs as I set the table. “It smells amazing down here!” Matt shouted as he trailed behind them. We all sat down to breakfast and discussed where we would be going and how long the hike would last. I sat next to Zeppelin who rested his hand on my thigh, making slow circles with his thumb. I looked around at everyone sitting here and felt a sense of contentment. It hadn’t been planned, but this was exactly where I wanted to be right now.

  After breakfast, we headed out to a trail in the woods. The hike lasted for nearly two hours and my leg muscles were burning by the time we had made it back down. When we got home, I collapsed on the couch next to Hannah who was rubbing her sore feet. She hadn’t chosen the most sensible shoes but that was typical. The girl always cared more about style than comfort whether we were in the woods or not.

  I watched as Zeppelin slowly wandered in through the front door. He had been really quiet on the way back. He looked a little pale and exhausted. I asked him if he was okay and he assured me he was. I tried not to worry too much, but I noticed him wince in pain a few times as he walked and it concerned me. He immediately headed up the stairs and I stood from the couch.

  “I’m thinking the hot tub sounds like a great idea after that.” Hannah said as she stood too and hobbled toward the stairs. “Yeah it does.” Josh agreed and bent down to pick Hannah up. She giggled as he ran up the stairs and went to their room. “Are you going in the hot tub?” I asked Dixon. He shook his head. “Tucker and Matt want to go into town and grab lunch and check out some stuff.” “Okay. Well, have fun. See you later.” I said as I made my way to my room.

  The first thing I noticed when I opened the door was Zeppelin stretched out on his belly on the bed. I closed the door behind me and stepped closer to the bed. His head was turned toward me and his eyes were closed.

  “Are you sure you’re alright?” I asked as I sat down on the mattress and ran a hand over his back. Without opening his eyes, he said, “I’m just really tired. Will you lay with me Angel?” His hand reached for me and I lay down next to him. He rolled on to his side slowly and began stroking my hair. “Thank you Lucky. You’re the best.” He whispered as he placed a kiss on my cheek.

  We both fell asleep and I awakened later when I heard my phone ringing. I carefully got up, not wanting to wake Zeppelin. I grabbed my phone off the dresser and saw that my mom was calling me. I slipped out of the room and answered it quietly.

  “Hey mom,” I said as I made my way downstairs. “Hi Lucy, how’s it going?” She asked. “Pretty good, we’re at Cannon Beach for the weekend. We’ll be home on Monday.” I told her. “Do you like your new place?” “I love it, it’s perfect for me. I think it will work for now.” “That’s great baby. You’ve got school starting next week too. Are you prepared?” “Yeah I think so.” I replied.

  I planted myself on the large sectional in the living room and chatted with my mom for half an hour. She said things were going good at home and that she couldn’t believe the summer had flown by. She asked how Hannah and Dixon were and I told her that everything was going great for the most part. She brought up Zeppelin and I tried to just kind of evade her questions.

  I didn’t want to really explain the kind of relationship we had because I didn’t quite fully understand it myself. Hannah witnessed most of it and knew what was going on, probably more than I did, so it was easy with her. With
my mom though, I just didn’t know quite what to say.

  The house was really quiet after we hung up and I figured that the guys were still in town and Hannah and Josh had possibly gone to nap themselves. I didn’t see them out in the hot tub. My mind was too full and I thought maybe going out to the beach would be a good idea to help clear it. It was later than I thought when I glanced at the clock. I couldn’t believe that Zeppelin was still sleeping. Maybe he was coming down with something.

  I wandered out of the sliding glass door, holding a blanket in my arms that I grabbed from the back of the couch. I made my way down the stone path to the beach. Laying out the blanket, I crawled to the middle of it and brought my knees to my chest. With my arms wrapped around my legs, I peered out toward the late afternoon sky and took a deep breath.

  My mind was filled with thoughts of the ending summer and starting school next week as well as Zeppelin. I wished that he would just tell me whatever it was that he was hiding so that I could understand him. It was getting more difficult by the minute to deny my feelings for him and yet I was trying very hard to keep a wall up. I didn’t want to be hurt, especially by him. I was frustrated and more than that, I was trying to understand how easily I could fall into him every single time.

  I was upset with myself for letting myself get this attached this quickly even though I should have known better. I usually did know better but Zeppelin changed that. He changed a lot about the way I thought and who I was now. How he could do that in just a matter of months was overwhelming.

  I was completely lost in my head when the slight movement of the blanket startled me. I turned my head to see Zeppelin standing next to me. He was wearing only a pair of shorts and his hair was damp as if he showered.