by Lise Gold
“A couple of years is a long time to get over someone. That must have been one serious crush. So do you mean you haven’t felt anything as strong for anyone else since? Or do you mean you haven’t felt anything for a woman since?”
“No, a woman. I’ve never been in love with a woman since I had the crush on her.” Sophie knew that wasn’t entirely true. What she had felt for Cat was way stronger than what she had felt for any of her past boyfriends, but she would take that secret with her to her grave.
“It just happened one day. I fell in love with her, and I can’t explain how or when exactly it started. God, why am I telling you this?” She rolled her eyes; her cheeks were flushed and rosy.
“Because it’s important,” Mel said matter-of-factly. “So you never told her, and you just forgot about it?” Sophie nodded. She looked down, avoiding eye contact.
“I don’t know. I’ve never explored it, and I don’t really feel the need to.” Mel put an arm around her and pulled her in close as they walked towards the bus that would take them back to the MTR station. Sophie leaned in. The embrace felt so good. So right. Why Mel? Why couldn’t it just be a man? Or any other woman for that matter? As long as it wasn’t Mel, her colleague and soon-to-be her direct report.
“Well, if that’s how you feel,” Mel sighed. “I’m not going to judge you for being a coward.” She laughed and poked Sophie in the side, indicating she was joking. “But if I may give you some advice, I think you need to at least explore your feelings at some point. Before you know it, you’ll be married with two kids, living in suburbia and you’ll look at your chubby husband in bed one night, wondering what the hell happened to your needs and desires. I’m just saying.” Sophie laughed too now, grateful for the lighthearted direction Mel had steered their conversation into.
“And on that note,” Mel continued. “I’m looking forward to meeting your future husband on Friday. Aldo, right? That’s a stupid name by the way. It sounds kind of mean.”
13
The afternoon seemed to last forever. Each time Sophie tried to shut her computer down, another urgent issue came up. When she finally walked into Mel’s office with her bag packed it was ten o’clock. The whole floor was deserted, apart from the chubby security guard, who was watching a Chinese soap opera behind the reception desk. The janitor had switched off most of the lights, leaving the space looking rather creepy with the only sound coming from the air conditioning unit on the wall, which hummed like an electronic bees nest. Mel was fully engrossed in a drawing and didn’t see Sophie walk in. So far, she seemed to know exactly what she was doing. She was smart, efficient, good at problem-solving and a great designer. The fact that she had demonstrated all that, only within a couple of days, had impressed Sophie. She had been wrong about Mel. Sophie knew that now. And on top of all that, Mel was beautiful and the most confusing creature she had ever encountered.
“Are you ready to leave soon?” she asked. Mel looked up, smiling. She lifted her headphones off her head and hung them around her neck.
“Hey there, pretty lady. You bet I am. I’ve only got one more adjustment to do. Can you wait, let’s say, ten minutes?”
“Sure,” Sophie said. “I’m starving; I’ll call around to see if there are any tables available.” Her cheeks were glowing from the comment Mel had just made, and she quickly turned back around the corner, searching for her phone in her bag. Pretty lady. Was that flirting? Was that serious openly flirting? A tiny smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She tried to straighten her face back into position while she scrolled through the list of restaurants on her phone.
Seated at a window table on the third floor of a shopping mall, Sophie and Mel threw a selection of ingredients into the boiling spicy broth and dove into the condiments that had been served alongside the tofu, vegetables and fresh fish. It was busy at the hot pot restaurant, and the last available table next to them had just been taken by a rowdy bunch of Korean businessmen who ordered beer by the buckets. The food was fresh and delicious, and they stirred the broth impatiently. Sophie pulled a face when the portion of oysters arrived that Mel had ordered.
“Really? You like those?”
“Uh huh,” Mel giggled. “I like them very, very much indeed. I’ve always liked oysters. Now, why do you think that is?” She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows. “No seriously, I only had them once or twice as a child, but I took an instant liking to them.” She dressed one with ginger and lemon juice and slurped it out of the shell, licking her lips suggestively. Her eyes met Sophie’s and this time there was no doubt about it. She was flirting with her. Sophie felt a fiery heat deep down in her belly and tried her hardest to ignore it.
“Honestly Sophie, you don’t know what you’re missing. Oysters are like…” She dropped the shell and took another one, this time with chili. “Well, they’re like a woman’s private parts when she’s really, really turned on by my incredibly skilled…”
“Spare me the details please,” Sophie begged, holding her hands up and they both cracked up laughing.
“Okay, so about your favorite subject,” Sophie said, throwing some more tofu into the pot. “Why is it so great? I mean, sex with a woman. What’s the big deal?” Mel looked confused.
“It isn’t a big deal, Sophie. Different people like different things. I love oysters, and you like … well… bananas? Or perhaps cucumbers?” She grinned. “Sex is great, and I happen to like sex with women. What’s so mysterious about that? Do you not enjoy sex with men? Because that’s your thing, right? ” Sophie shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable with the turn the conversation was taking.
“I don’t know… I guess so.”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” Mel laughed. She pointed an accusing finger at her, wiggling it up and down. “Because that did not sound one bit convincing to me. This morning, you practically confessed to me that your one big love was a woman and if you’re not that bothered about men, I know I’m on to something here.” She sang the last part of the sentence in a teasing tone. “Just wait till some lucky lady gets her hands on you, you’ll be screaming your lungs out in pleasure.” Sophie giggled and looked down at her plate. It was a topic she hadn’t dared to touch upon but with anyone but it seemed easy tonight, like she and Mel could talk about anything. She felt mildly embarrassed, but there was also a certain curiosity lurking around the corner. Mel had opened her mind up to things she hadn’t even considered in the past. The idea of being with a woman didn’t seem so ridiculous anymore. Only she didn’t want it to be just any lucky lady. She wanted it to be Mel. She sat back and watched her devour the last oyster, closing her eyes in delightful bliss when she swallowed it down. When Mel caught her staring, she winked playfully and blew her a kiss. Sophie raised her teacup in front of her mouth to hide her grin.
“So do you want to come to the market tomorrow?” She asked, trying to sound casual. Mel nodded.
“Absolutely. Shopping and food are two things I’m up for anytime, day or night. I’ll have to get some souvenirs for my mom. And some of this tea if we can find it, it’s divine.” She refilled her cup and inhaled deeply before sipping the jasmine blend.
It was a warm, humid and unusually busy evening along the waterfront. Sophie had suggested they’d walk instead of taking a taxi back to the hotel. Besides the prospect of a comforting breeze, she wanted the evening to last just a little bit longer. She couldn’t remember the last time she had had such a good time with another person, not even with Maggie. Being around Mel made her feel dreamy, as if Mel painted the world in bright colors, everywhere they went. Mel’s charming energy made her happy, and that was a feeling she wanted to savor for as long as she could.
“Come on, let’s take a picture together,” Mel shouted over her shoulder as she skipped towards the railing along the water’s edge. A large dragon boat decorated with thousands of red fairy lights passed through the harbor. Mel took her phone out of her bag and put an arm around Sophie’s neck, pulling her in close.
; “Smile Sophie. This is the perfect Hong Kong skyline picture right here.” Sophie smiled, then turned her head and planted a kiss on Mel’s cheek. She surprised both Mel and herself. It wasn’t something she had intended to do, but the smooth skin right next to her face had been too tempting not to kiss. Mel turned her head towards her and grinned.
“I don’t think it worked,” she lied. “Try that again and hold it for five seconds so that I can get a decent picture, you tease.” Sophie’s heart was beating out of her chest, yet she couldn’t help but laugh at Mel’s joke. When the camera was hovering above their faces for the second time, she turned again and lightly brushed her lips against Mel’s cheek, more aware of the contact this time. She closed her eyes, and for a split second, she thought Mel might turn her way and kiss her on the mouth. But Mel didn’t kiss her, and as swiftly as it came, the moment had passed. Sophie pulled herself together and pushed the enticing vision of Mel’s lips on hers to the background. Mel showed her the picture with one arm still around Sophie’s neck, their fingers entwined in front of Sophie’s chest.
“Oh my God, that’s hot!” Mel laughed. Sophie pulled the phone closer so she could see the picture better. Mel was right. They did look good together. It was a close-up, and the dragon boat was nowhere to be seen, but its red lights were glowing around their silhouettes like an aura. Sophie’s lips were parted against Mel’s skin, and Mel had a smug look on her face, smiling into the camera.
“Well fuck me,” Mel said. “If I didn’t know better, I would think you had a huge lady crush on me. Can I please use this as bragging material to my friends?” Sophie chuckled.
“Anytime,” she grinned, looking down now. She was terrified to lose herself again if their eyes met, so she focused on her manicured toes in the open sandals and her bare legs that needed a fresh shave.
“Come on, let’s go,” Mel said, as if sensing her discomfort. They turned and walked back towards the hotel, still holding each other, neither of them wanting to let go.
14
Sophie couldn’t manage to fall asleep. She had left the TV on, dimmed the lights and had drunk a small bottle of whiskey from the minibar before slipping underneath the covers. She was naked, and the cotton sheets felt great against her skin. Usually, this was a recipe for a good night of at least eight hours, but at two am she was still staring at the ceiling, replaying her flirty interactions with Mel over and over in her mind. She felt physically exhausted from the excitement, but her thoughts kept her wide awake. Was she overthinking things? Was Mel attracted to her? Why couldn’t she stop thinking about her? Why couldn’t she stop picturing them naked in bed together? Sophie imagined Mel being flirty by nature but she had seen a lot more than just a playful gesture. Mel confused her. She seemed determined and serious about her job, yet she had embraced every opportunity to be physical with her and Sophie couldn’t deny that she’d enjoyed it. It was the way she took her hand when they crossed the road and the way she looked at her mouth when Sophie spoke. And then there was the kiss by the harbor and the awkward silence in the elevator after they got back as if both of them were hoping for an invitation from the other but neither of them was brave enough to take the first step. Sophie didn’t think she could take the torture much longer. She had to know what it felt like with Mel. With a woman… No, she corrected herself. With Mel. Only with Mel. Perhaps this business trip was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Or the worst-- she had yet to find out. The lust that Mel had stirred up inside of her made her feel like a different person. She felt strong and sensual, finally facing the fact that she was a sexual person with needs and desires that were begging to be released. By now, it was pure passion running through her veins. She had managed to get through her work so far, but if it got any worse, she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the simplest of tasks. She couldn’t sleep, and there was no point trying. She picked up her phone and called Maggie.
“Hey lovely!” Maggie’s familiar voice made her feel calmer instantly.
“Hey. How’s the packing going? Are you busy?” She imagined Maggie in her tiny one-bedroom flat, surrounded by hundreds of boxes, lacking any kind of system or labels. Maggie sighed.
“God, how do you think it’s going? Packing is not exactly my strong point, especially when I have to pack up my whole life. It’s a mess, Sophie. I can’t find anything anymore. I need your help.” Sophie smiled.
“I told you you wouldn't make it without me. Just drop the whole New York thing and come back to work,” she joked.
“Is my replacement so terrible?” Maggie winked at her from behind a roll of bubblewrap. Sophie hesitated before answering.
“No, not at all. She’s good. And we get along fine, so I would say it’s much better than expected. Her name is Mel, and I’m sorry to say this, but she’s got it all. She’s great. I was surprised myself.” Maggie was silent for a few seconds.
“Really? Hmm…” she giggled. “Good for you, I suppose. But I was kind of hoping everything would fall apart after I left so they would all talk about how brilliant I was and how much they miss me.” Sophie smiled at that.
“Don’t worry; I’m sure everyone misses you. I miss you. But no, things are not falling apart. Mel will keep it together; I’m sure of that.”
“Well that’s too bad,” Maggie said. “I guess I’m not irreplaceable after all.” She sighed. “So you like her, then?”
“Yeah, I do.” Sophie tried her hardest to be politically correct in her answer. “I mean, she’s not you,” she hastily added. “I’ve never been more ready to dislike someone in my life but I can’t. She’s just likable, you know?” She could imagine Maggie rolling her eyes on the other side of the line. “It’s not the same without you, though,” she said, trying to make up for the harsh truth. She heard Maggie pour a glass of what she assumed to be white wine and shortly after, the clinking of ice cubes. “Wine o’clock already Maggie? Really? What time is it there?
“Mind your own business,” Maggie said in a playful tone. She took a sip and swallowed hard. “I’m stressed. I’ve got all this stuff to pack that I don’t need and then I’ve got to prepare for next week. So let’s talk about me. What do I wear on my first day at work? I need to go shopping for my new job tomorrow, and unfortunately, I can’t afford to be on brand.”
15
“Did you get any sleep at all? You look exhausted,” Mel said as she licked her thumb and wiped a mascara stain from underneath Sophie’s left eye.
“Not really. The air con broke,” Sophie lied. Here we go again, she thought. I can’t think straight anymore. She touches me, and I go weak within seconds. I’m melting like ice-cream. It’s getting worse by the day, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. She wanted to move further away from Mel to create some space but she couldn’t. She needed the closeness like a drug. She needed more and more of it to keep herself satisfied or at least sane. They were in the back of the taxi on their way to the factory in China. The trip would take at least three hours, and it was warm in the car. Mel looked worried.
“I called you about ten times. You must have been fast asleep because your ringtone is pretty loud.” Sophie rubbed her temples, fighting the urge to curl up and close her eyes again.
“I know,” she said. “I never oversleep. But then again, I was up all night, and I’m not very good like that.” She turned to Mel. “Thank you for waking me up and holding the cab.” Mel smiled.
“Sweetie, what else was I going to do? I’m the newbie here, remember? Breakfast?” She handed Sophie a cardboard box from the hotel. “I think I got you everything you like. Toast, salmon, avocado and a fresh orange juice.” She rummaged through her bag. “Oh, and here’s some cold water. That’s what you like, right? The waiter even added a tiny ice-pack, in case you’re not hungry yet.” Sophie looked up at the delicate package.
“Thank you,” she said, taking the box. She was genuinely surprised by Mel’s gesture. “That’s so incredibly sweet of you.” She wrinkled her nose. “But I�
�m not sure if I can eat just yet so I might save it for later.”
“Come here,” Mel ordered her. “Put your head on my lap and get some sleep. You need it.” Sophie shook her head, but there was no arguing with Mel, and she pulled her into an embrace, lowering Sophie’s head onto her thigh. Sophie closed her eyes. She felt Mel’s hands in her hair, stroking her. Soft fingertips parted her hair and tugged the strands behind her ear. She felt them move over her forehead and neck, gently caressing her. If she could have stayed right there all day, she would have been more than happy. The sound of Mel’s voice and her touch sent her into a trance of blissful peace, and within five minutes, she was asleep.
The day was long and uncomfortably warm, but Sophie felt rested after their three-hour car journey. After their fittings, Mr. Ho, the factory director who had graced them with his presence, had insisted they would attend the VIP tour of the premises. Sophie had already been unfortunate enough to go through it twice, but she knew it would be beneficial to Mel, and so she didn’t resist. It was the standard walkthrough from the dyeing hall to the shipping hall past the printing room, the coating machines, the garment engineering building and the label and packaging department. Sophie kept a sharp eye out for any workers who seemed to be too young to be there and checked the production lines for any potential issues like the absence of safety gloves and goggles or broken metal detectors at each end of the long row of sewing machines. The brand could get sued if any broken needles were left in the garments and they certainly didn’t want to be associated with child labor. She also asked to see the lab reports to ensure no harmful dyes or fixing substances were used during the process. It all seemed fine, apart from one metal detector without a green light. Mr. Ho promised it would be fixed the very same day. They could only understand about ten percent of what he was saying due to his accent and all the background noise of the machines, but they both nodded politely and copied his excitement whenever it felt appropriate. The factory had set up connected basins throughout the buildings to show how they recycled all the water they used during their dying and washing process. The water ran through an open half pipe, out into a pond of Koi Carp in the patio between the buildings to demonstrate how clean their recycled water was.