by Liz Rein
As the introductions were finishing the butler opened the salon doors to announce dinner and it could not have come at a better time. Standing on his injured leg was starting to cause Sterling pain and fatigue. Although he was not one to shy away from a little pain Sterling knew he needed to maintain a pleasant attitude for his hosts and the pain was not helping. As he walked to his seat he did so with some difficulty on his crutches.
Sterling was seated, as the guest of honor, next to Squire Helms with his wife directly across from him. A footman was kind enough to take his crutches once he was seated and removed them from the room.
After the first course of tomato bisque was served, Squire Helms broke the silence and asked Sterling about his military service. “I understand that you fought Napoleon?”
“Yes, sir. I was with the 95th rifles at Waterloo where I was injured.”
“Injured?”
“Yes I was shot in the leg just as the battle was winding down.”
“Well, you seem right as rain now…” the squire said with some embarrassment and continued “Expect for the crutches.”
“Yes, the crutches are a result of a slight accident that aggravated my leg.”
Seeing the conversation as an opening for his sole purpose for coming to the dinner Sterling broached the awkward subject. “Actually, there had been some continuing issues and I am working with a local physician. She had a suggestion that could fix the issue…”
“She?” Lady Helms interrupted rather loudly. Her outburst caught the attention of the whole table. Looking down the table Sterling saw that he had everyone’s attention. He pretended that everyone was not staring at him and continued to only speak to his host and hostess.
“Yes, she. I am working with Ms. Cecilia Wright. Not long after I arrived at Blackbrier I had an accident that aggravated my leg. Luckily Ms. Wright was there and was able to patch me up better than I was before.”
“I am sure if our good Doctor Grisman,” Lady Helms said pointing towards a man down the table he had met earlier “was there he could have done an excellent job. He attends me whenever I am feeling poorly.”
“I am sure.” Sterling said noncommittally, his brother had some of the best surgeons looking at his leg in London. It was doubtful that a simple country doctor could work the magic on his leg that Ms. Wright did, it took someone special. Before he could continue Lady Helms interrupted again
“Besides I would think that you would want to be looked after by some better than the questionable Ms. Wright.”
Before she could continue Squire Helms interrupted “Lady Helms! Ms. Wright’s circumstances are not up for discussion.” This was the first time that Sterling saw Helms put his foot down with his wife, throughout the evening she had ruled the gathering while her husband patiently stood at her side.
Forging on over Lady Helms’ embarrassment for being put in her place by her husband in front of her friends, Sterling continued from where he was before he was interrupted. Although her comment about Cecilia was filed away to be considered later. “She had a suggestion that could fix issues with continued symptoms from the injury. Her hypothesis was that the wound suffers from lead poisoning, from the musket ball. There are articles in which drinking the juice of oranges may eliminate the problem.”
Sterling left the unspoken question hanging for the Squire to pick up. Before he could say any more Lady Helms broke in again “We have oranges in our orangery!” Lady Helms did not like to be left out of a conversation and she cannot let her neighbors see her humiliation that her husband caused her.
“Really?” He said knowing full well that they did. “I was going to make a trip to London to procure some.”
“No need! As your neighbor we would be glad to contribute to your experiment” Lady Helms said “And if Ms. Wright’s experiment fails then we will still enjoy the pleasure of your company.”
Lady Helm’s doubt about Ms. Wright’s success was a clear as day. It made Sterling second guess getting the oranges from the Helms. Perhaps he should travel to London for the oranges, that way he would not have to deal with Lady Helms.
Satisfied, now that he had achieved his goal for the night he knew that the rest of the evening would be spent in eternal torture.
Chapter Ten
As autumn progressed and the leaves turned from green to red and gold Cecilia and Sterling continued to have lunch together daily. Over the last several days in unspoken agreement they dropped the pretense that their lunches were about his leg. The wound was well past the stage where there was concern for infection. Every day Cecilia thought that this day was the last day that they would lunch together and she would savor the experience but after each meal Sterling would speak as if the next day’s meal was a forgone conclusion. As one of the brightest spots in her day Cecilia never missed an appointment and never mentioned that her visits were not needed anymore.
Sterling was always diligent about mentioning the next day’s meal because it was the only excuse he could find for Cecilia’s continued presence. He knew that his plan was flawed, that one day he would be completely healed and that even pretenses would not work, but he could not face that eventuality yet.
After one week on the crutches Sterling began to lightly exercise the leg, stretching the muscles and preparing it to accept more of his weight. The orange juice, it turns out, helped tremendously. His appetite returned with a vengeance and Sterling began to rapidly regain weight. Sterling's fatigue also vanished and for the first time in two years he slept deeply through the night.
Six weeks from their meeting Cecilia arrived at the mansion for their daily lunch. The day before Cecilia had mentioned that when he felt ready Sterling could transition to a cane rather than the crutches he had been using. The exercises had worked and his thigh was much stronger, able to carry his full weight. After so many days of informal visits Cecilia no longer waited for an escort to announce her but rather made her way up the steps after Garvis opened the door. Walking upstairs unescorted Cecilia approached the master bedroom’s double doors. The doors were left open so she could see Sterling standing in the middle of the room consulting some paperwork. In one hand was the papers, in the other he was clutching a new cane. He was leaning into it relieving the weight from his leg. Before she could admonish him for overdoing it on the first day using the cane, something about the cane struck a chord with Cecilia and she stepped forward to get a closer look. Sterling noticed her from the corner of his eye and turned toward her smiling.
Cecilia pointed to the cane and said "I see you've got a cane already."
"Yes" Sterling replied "Thomas dug it up for me."
Shifting his weight back slightly Sterling maneuvered the cane so he was holding it to reveal the cane's head. The cane was bronze in the shape of a hawks head. The hawk was cawing, beak open and tongue extended. It took just a moment for Cecilia to recognize where she had seen the cane before. It was her father’s cane; she had thought that he had taken it with him the last time he had left the estate. She remembered as a child playing with the figurine. Then as she got older her father revealed the secret of the cane. Had she known it was at Blackbrier Park she would have taken it long ago. Although it did not have any real value it was sentimental to her, reminding her of the time they spent together. She decided to say nothing, maybe she could get it from Sterling in the future.
After lunch Cecilia and Sterling took their customary stroll in the formal gardens behind the manor. They began walking a few weeks before when Sterling become strong enough to support himself for extended periods of time, it was an excellent form of exercise. The garden featured a large maze that if one were not careful could be lost in. It also featured many stone benches for conversing, but also excellent for resting Sterling’s leg. The first time that they had walked the maze Sterling was slightly puzzled at the ease Cecilia was navigating the path without once getting turned around. Not thinking too much of it he brushed it off with the reasoning that she grew up in the a
rea and she had probably been in the maze several times.
Like many times before after navigating the maze Sterling and Cecilia approached the maze’s secret. Inside that maze was a large Greek arbor with a water feature and small bench. It was a perfect spot for a lovers rendezvous or in their case a resting place for Sterling's leg. Sitting on the bench they often spoke of their favorite books and other such interests.
Sterling sat with his injured leg stretched before him and the cane casually leaning against the bench seat between them. Navigating the maze for the first time with the crutches, Sterling was slightly tired but he did not let it faze him. Engrossed in their conversation Cecilia began to play with the cane. Laughing with Sterling, as she had not before her father died, she unconsciously picked up the cane resting beside her. Fiddling with the head she pressed the hawk’s tongue, something she used to do when her father was alive.
Sterling, enjoying the day and Cecilia’s company, heard the faint click as Cecilia released the mechanism that revealed the secret of the cane. Curious he reached for the cane and Cecilia still focused on the story she was telling abruptly stopped as she felt his hands on hers. Electricity went up through her hands and she briefly froze. Then she realized what she had done as he took the cane from her. Sterling felt the same jolt and for a brief moment enjoyed the chemistry that they shared before he took the cane. Removing the long silver sword from it’s Malacca wood sheath he admired the craftsmanship as the eagle's head now became the hilt on the long thin blade with a sharp rapier point.
“I thought the cane had some excess weight.” Sterling said in wonder as he examined the sword. “Have you seen a cane like this before? Is that how you knew to find the release?”
Truthfully she answered “I was not thinking, I just touched the tongue and the latch released.” Quickly she continued “It’s getting late we should return to the house, I must be getting home.”
Relieved that Sterling accepted what she said; it was time for their walk to end and that she was not questioned further. Cecilia jumped up from the bench and started to make her way out of the maze, leaving Sterling to follow after he returned the sheath to the sword-cane. She did not know why she did not want to tell him that the old Earl was her father, maybe she did not want to break the spell that had enveloped them.
****
It was the next week that Sterling started to really take notice of Cecilia and the relationship that she had with the household staff. He was walking down the main staircase on his way to the library before their daily lunch to finish up some paperwork when he saw Cecilia and the new housekeeper, Mrs. Wilberforce talking. He caught the tail end of the conversation “...I am so happy to be back. You father would be so ashamed to know what happened to you.”
Cecilia saw Sterling coming and did not respond, she quickly turned and faced Sterling. Mrs. Wilberforce curtsied then excused herself while Cecilia continued to stand there smiling at Sterling. With a slight furrowed brow Sterling asked “Do you know the new housekeeper?”
“She is from the area” Cecilia responded vaguely and before Sterling could ask another question she changed the subject asking “How is your leg this morning?”
Puzzled Sterling decided to let it pass, he would ponder the odd conversation and Cecilia’s response later. “It is good, a little sore from the exercise.”
“That is good, it means that you are rebuilding muscle and strength. Just be careful to not over do it, you would not want a setback.”
Sterling agreed with an affirmative nod and with a gesture escorted Cecilia to his bedroom for their lunch. Cecilia wondered if it would not be better if they dined in the formal dining room rather than his suite now that he was walking with the use of the cane but thought it better to not ask. Although unorthodox she enjoyed their private meals.
****
A fortnight later it was one of those private meals that resulted in one of Cecilia's most memorable and pleasurable moments of her life. They were sitting across from each other at the makeshift table that Sterling arranged in his suite discussing a novel that they had both read. When in her enthusiastic response to Sterling’s observation she accidentally dropped her fork. When they both bent to retrieve the fallen flatware they collided, bumping noses. Sterling, one never to loose any advantage, quickly took the opportunity that had presented itself and claimed a kiss.
Shocked at the kiss, at first Cecilia did not respond but just sat there frozen as their lips touched. Then she responded by returning with tentative enthusiasm unsure of what to do. Sterling feeling her acceptance of the kiss and her response took over, pulling her towards him. Soon Cecilia sat saddled across his lap as they tasted each other. Sterling slowly worked his tongue past her lips and teeth to deepen the kiss even more. Cecilia was a little shocked but soon began enjoying the sensation of their tongues rubbing together.
Sterling, slid his hands down her back and cupped her backside pulling her flush against him and in response Cecilia ran her hands up his chest to wrap her arms around his neck.
After several minutes Sterling pulled away to take a few calming breaths. Breathing deeply Sterling looked into Cecilia’s questioning eyes. He knew that if they continued he would not be able to stop, and he desperately wanted to continue. He knew there was chemistry between him and Cecilia but he had no idea that the magnetism that pulled them together was stronger than he had ever felt in his thirty two years. Sterling did not want to take advantage of Cecilia, she was not a widow or soiled dove that he usually spent time with, he promised himself to treat her with all due respect and that did not include seducing her.
When Sterling began to pull away Cecilia leaned back and looked into his eyes questioningly. Her hands slid down his chest to rest on his strong pectorals. She had seen many men in various states of undress but she could not recall a man with such definition, his chest was slabs of muscle and she could tell that a lot of the weight he had regained attributed to this. She wondered why he had stopped, she may have never kissed a man before but she knew she did not want him to stop no matter where it led.
“We must stop.” Sterling said.
“Why?”
“Because it is not proper.”
“Proper?”
“Yes.”
“Is being proper the only reason you are stopping?”
“Yes.”
“Then don’t stop. Being considered proper by polite society was never a possibility or concern for me.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because in the heat of attraction you may disregard propriety but later you will regret your decision.”
“I won’t”
“You may.”
Seeing that they were at an impasse and that Sterling was not going to budge Cecilia decided to give in but silently promised herself that next time, and there would be a next time, she would not stop. With no regrets. She slid back off his lap and returned to her seat.
For a moment there was an uncomfortable silence but then before it could become awkward there was a slight cough at the door.
Garvis was at the door. “I am sorry to interrupt my lord but Mr. Jefferson must speak to you.”
Knowing that they would be interrupted for only an emergency Sterling quickly excused himself to see what the problem was.
Chapter Eleven
After Sterling left to deal with the estate emergency Cecilia returned home to Rose Cottage. Mary was in the salon with Emma playing with toys. Confused about their encounter and emotionally exhausted she sat down on the settee with a deep sigh and watched Emma play. While watching, Cecilia realized that Mary may have some insight about her situation. Although she had never fully opened up to what happened to her Cecilia knew that they could have a candid conversation, that their friendship was deep enough to keep each others confidences.
Mary seeing Cecilia’s trepidation rose from the floor where she was playing to sit across from her on the settee.
“Wh
at is wrong?” Mary asked.
“Mr. Fairchild and I kissed.”
“You kissed?
“Yes.”
“Did you want to be kissed?”
“Yes.” Cecilia said
“Then what is wrong?” Cecilia knew that Mary would not judge her.
“He stopped.” She said with some disappointment.
“And you did not want to.”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“It was the most amazing experience I ever had. It was like he was the center of the earth sucking me in. Then he pulled away.” Cecilia said in confusion. “He said he stopped because it was not proper.”
“Do you think that he was interested in you? Was he enthusiastic?”
“I thought so but then he stopped.”
“Well, maybe he was concerned about your reputation.”
“I told him not to be concerned but then he said that the heat of the passion was clouding my judgment.”
“Was it?”
“I don't think so.”
“When I met Emma’s father I felt a powerful pull toward him and although I knew better I fell under his spell. It was not until later that I found that it was not love but lust. Be careful.”
Mary’s advice convinced her that she had a lot to think about before deciding anything. But she knew that if things had gone further with Sterling that day she would not have regretted it.
The next morning after sleeping with her thoughts, she decided that she wanted to live her life to the fullest and if she were careful there should be no reason to not enjoy her time with Sterling while it lasts. Besides, her precarious position within society made her unmarriageable by their standards. The stigma of her illegitimacy combined with her lack of dowry kept any eligible men out of reach and she had never met a man she had considered setting her cap for. Sterling was the first man she had ever felt any real attraction to, his presence pulling her in.
Decision made, Cecilia entered her exam room and pulled an old journal that her mother wrote filled with natural remedies and recipes useful to a midwife. There was a mixture that her mother used to use for women with too many children to prevent more pregnancies. Frowned upon by almost everyone her mother did not use it often, only in cases where the women were burdened with too many mouths to feed.