She swallowed hard, her entire body shaking hard before going completely still. Her eyes went cold and distant. “Then, one day only one of them came. I pretended to want him, calling him to me.” The small smile was filled with a combination of satisfaction and horror. “I…I killed him with his own knife. Stabbed him over and over and over, I don’t remember how many times, but I was covered in his blood.” Looking down at her hand, Daphne seemed surprised to see her skin clean of the blood she remembered so vividly.
“It was the first time any of them had been so careless. I don’t know what happened to the other two. I took the knife and a packet of jerky and made my way off the mountain. I’d been walking for almost two days, I think, before I decided to sleep.”
Ryan wanted to hunt the remaining men down, to take them out painfully, to leave them bleeding in the dirt as they screamed in terror. He couldn’t look at her, afraid she’d see the person who lived inside him. His fists on his knees were tight enough to leave nail marks in his palms.
He dragged much needed air into his lungs and told her, “Daphne, let me get my computer.” She nodded and picked up the candlestick as he stood, going into his bedroom and returning with a laptop. Sitting back in the chair, he worked to connect to the Internet, going to a search engine and entering her name and that of her husband.
She watched him read, knew he’d found information about her. About Steven. It seemed like a long time before he spoke. “There are stories about you all over the web. They sent out search parties for almost two months after you disappeared.” He glanced up and she saw the regret cross his face. “The rangers found your husband; they suspected foul play when they examined his…his remains. Your friend, Janice, still makes trips up here with her brothers to look for you.”
He found the missing person contact information, took out his satellite phone and saved the number listed. He held the phone out to Daphne, “You can call them if you like. I’ll give you the coordinates of where you are now.”
She stared at his hand for a long time and he stood, moving to set the phone on the arm of the couch. “When you’re ready, you hit the green button. It takes about thirty seconds before you’ll hear it connect and start to ring.” He moved to a small table with a drawer across the front and took out a pen and a piece of scrap paper. Jotting down latitude and longitude as well as his name, he placed it under the phone.
“Everything you need is right there. If you remember the phone number for your friend, you can call her, too. Or I can look it up for you. I’m going to go outside so you can relax without stress for a little while. Make yourself at home and I’m happy to give you anything you need.” He set the laptop on the coffee table. “If you want any other information, you can use this. It won’t time out for another thirty minutes.”
He backed to the front door and opened it, grabbing his jacket from the hook, and shrugging it on. As he started to turn, he murmured, “I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through, Daphne. But you were right. Everything is going to be fine in the end. You’re safe now and no one is ever going to be able to hurt you again.” Ryan left and pulled the door closed quietly behind him.
Daphne sipped the water, holding the candlestick to her chest. The phone was close enough for her to bend at the waist and pick it up. The thought of anyone from her old life seeing her, knowing what she’d been through…it was too much. Not yet.
After half an hour, she stood up and made her way slowly to the door. “I’m not ready yet.”
Chapter Three
Ryan nodded and said, “I understand. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need to, Daphne. I’ll keep you safe; let you get your legs under you.” Gesturing to the bathroom, he said, “You can shower if you like, the bathroom door locks securely from the inside.”
He gave her a new toothbrush and more of his clothes, told her to use anything she needed. She spent a long time in the shower. He heated stew and made tea, sliced up dried fruit and one of the loaves of baked bread he’d made a few days before.
Ryan told himself he wasn’t glad the broken young woman was staying a little longer. He’d come here for a reason and his reasons were still the same. He needed his solitude. He worked to convince himself that he was helping her because he was a doctor, because he had a responsibility. There would be no close examination of his inner feeling of elation when she’d said she wasn’t ready to leave yet. He had kept his features blank, revealing nothing.
“Maybe I need small interactions with people once in a while,” he murmured to himself. He was not a stupid man. He’d seen much in his life, had loved women and been loved in return. His reaction to her was based on his internal drive to protect. No matter how much he separated himself from society, from other human beings, there was bound to be a residual need to care.
Looking through the kitchen window at the mountains beyond, he gave a small laugh at his idiocy. As broken as she was, as traumatized from she’d been through, Ryan found himself attracted to her spirit. Against all odds, she’d survived something few people could have. He admired her.
Fooling himself into thinking there could ever be anything between them was irrational. Daphne had a long road ahead of her. Possibly years of therapy.
And what woman in her right mind would ever want a man who’d withdrawn from the world? A man who carried a past filled with guilt and violence? Shaking his head, he returned to putting their meal on the table. Pushing thoughts of the woman from his mind…where she had no business being in the first place.
Several minutes later, he heard the shower shut off and small shuffles as she dressed. When she opened the bathroom door, Daphne had a look of almost-happiness on her face. His clothes were enormous on her emaciated frame but she’d rolled back the sleeves and tucked the long johns into his socks. Her dark hair was braided down her back.
Ryan could see she was still in pain as she moved. She needed an internal exam and blood work done. Procedures he would not, could not, do here. Until he could get her to a facility equipped to help her, he would focus on her nutrition.
Walking slowly across the room, she placed her hands on the back of the kitchen chair and gave him a small smile. He knew many of her teeth were broken from violence done to her. Others were so damaged and loose from malnourishment and neglect that it would be a miracle if she was ultimately able to salvage them.
He’d seen the missing person flier. She had never been what society would call beautiful, her features were too square, her mouth too wide, her body more athletic than feminine. But at one time Daphne had been healthy and fit. Her hair had been thick and shiny. Her teeth perfect.
She raised her eyes to look at him. “I haven’t had a shower in so long; I almost forgot what to do in there.” Clearing her throat, she added, “I…thank you…and I’m sorry I’m afraid.”
“Daphne, I don’t blame you. I don’t. Please don’t apologize.” He placed their food on opposite sides of the table, giving her a barrier between them. She sat, wincing from what were likely internal injuries that already worried him. “I’ve been giving you vitamin and antibiotic injections since I found you. How are you feeling physically?”
Shrugging one thin shoulder, she didn’t look at him as she answered. “I hurt. Inside. Months now.” He watched as she swallowed hard. “I…I promise to tell you if anything changes.” He gave her a nod and motioned for her to eat.
Throughout the meal, he talked about what had happened around the world in the two years she’d been held captive. She didn’t speak, simply listened, but she managed small portions of the food and sips of the water. Enough that he was satisfied. He wanted to get her body used to food before she headed back to civilization. He gave her a sealed vitamin packet and she took the pills.
After Ryan had put away five times the amount of food Daphne could manage, he did the dishes while she remained at the table. He could feel her watching him, sensed her battle against the fear she didn’t want to feel.
When he as
ked, she allowed him to take her vitals. Though she shook the entire time, she stayed in the chair with the makeshift weapon gripped tightly in her hand, and he touched her as little as possible. Ryan noted that her eyes were clearing, the warm brown less cloudy, and the whites less bloodshot. He maintained a steady stream of meaningless chatter about wildlife he’d seen around his cabin over the years until he was able to step away and return his supplies to his medical bag.
“I’m going to bring in some wood and check the generator. Consider this your home, Daphne, as long as you need it to be one. I’m not going further than the work shed attached to the cabin if you need me.” She nodded and watched him leave, wondering why a man like Ryan was up here in the Alaskan wilds alone.
Over the next days, Ryan didn’t push. He didn’t question or delay in calling the people who still searched for her. Instead, he gave Daphne time alone each morning and afternoon to make the calls if she decided she was ready.
She still didn’t talk much unless spoken to directly but she began to noticeably relax around him. She stopped carrying the candlestick everywhere with her and didn’t flinch when he stood up or walked toward her.
At the end of her first week awake, she carefully stepped up to help with dishes after they finished dinner. As she became comfortable around him, he noticed that only sudden movements truly startled her. When a glass toppled from the countertop, Ryan’s hand shot down and caught it. Standing back up to his full height, he realized she was plastered against the counter several feet away.
“I’m sorry, Daphne. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He pointed to her feet in his socks, “I was worried about the glass breaking. You’re not wearing shoes.”
She nodded slowly and he watched as she forced her muscles to relax one at a time until she could move back to the counter again. After several controlled breaths, she went back to drying dishes. Later, he was happy to see her step out onto the porch as he was bringing in wood. Perching carefully against the railing, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
The sound of his foot on the bottom step brought her eyes open. “It surprises me that I still find it so beautiful here.”
“The place isn’t to blame. Scum was responsible for what happened to you and your husband. I’m glad you still see the beauty around you.” Ryan gave her a small nod and moved into the house, saying over his shoulder, “I’m going to make lunch soon. Pull on one of my heavier coats if you’re going to stay out for a bit.” Before she could, he reached just inside the door, his arm coming out with a jacket lined in sheep skin. “This should keep you snug.”
“Thank you. Again. Thank you again, Ryan.”
“My pleasure, Daphne. Let me put this wood down and make you some food.” Then he was gone and she tracked his movements around the small cabin.
Instead of seeing the scenery around her, she contemplated the man inside. Ryan Wallace was an enigma to her. Not even Steven had treated her as kindly. Part of her felt disloyal thinking negative thoughts of her dead husband but the part that had come into being during her time as a captive realized in hindsight that Steven had been something of a misogynist ass.
Daphne wouldn’t pretend otherwise. Not anymore. No one would ever tear her down like the man who’d promised to love and cherish her had in a thousand small ways during their time together. She was physically weaker than she’d ever been in her life but she knew the core of her being had now been forged in steel.
No one was ever going to hurt her again.
That evening, they sat in silence while Ryan read one of the many books he had on shelves around the cabin. Titles by James Patterson, Dean Koontz, and Neil Gaiman were similar to what had once decorated her own office in the little house she’d shared with Steven. A stereo system played soft classical music that filled the room with warmth, adding to the heat from the fire.
Daphne watched him, too tired to choose a book of her own. He had showered earlier and trimmed his beard. He was very tall with a lean body under a soft t-shirt and jeans. Thick socks covered long feet. There was nothing wasted on his frame.
The intensity he focused on the book was incredible and he read ridiculously fast. Watching him didn’t bore her. It gave her a feeling of safety and relaxation she had been so long without. After an hour, she began to doze and didn’t remember falling asleep.
Ryan watched as Daphne’s eyes drifted shut a final time. He waited, finishing his chapter and making sure she was deeply asleep. Instead of turning off the stereo, he turned it down low to soothe her as she slept then approached the couch. Tucking her snugly under the quilt she seemed to prefer, he stood staring down at her for a long time.
Daphne wasn’t well but she looked so much better than she had the first time he’d seen her.
With a small sign, he added another log to the fire and locked up the cabin. He turned all but the bathroom light off. That combined with the light from the fire would help her navigate. Checking on her one last time, he whispered, “Goodnight, Daphne.”
Walking into the only other room of his compact cabin, he slipped into sleep pants and got in bed. He found he missed sleeping closer to her but thought she’d sleep better without being forced to remain alert to his presence all night. It felt strange not to be able to see her when he opened his eyes. He left his door open and watched the shadows on the ceiling from the living room fire. Clearing his mind, he slowly found sleep.
In the middle of the night, Ryan opened his eyes. He didn’t know what had pulled him out of a peaceful dream state. A sound, a feeling in the room. Moving to get up, intending to check the house, he found Daphne curled up asleep on the braided rug beside his bed. The quilt pulled around her frail form. Shock held him immobile for several minutes but finally he knew he couldn’t leave her where she was. Her health was still too fragile.
Crouching, he woke her carefully, a hand touching her shoulder. Her eyes opened and she instantly focused on him. He didn’t see any fear in her eyes and he refused to consider how happy that made him. “Daphne, why are you on the floor? You must be freezing.”
She swallowed hard, holding the quilt a bit tighter. “You…you weren’t in the living room. I woke up…got scared. I needed to…to be in here. You won’t let anything happen to me.” He stared at her for a long time, feeling unsure of what to do or say to this woman he never wanted to feel fear again. “I won’t be any trouble. I’m used to much worse. Please can I stay here?” Ryan started to shake his head until he saw the single tear track into Daphne’s hair. That tear hit him hard.
“I didn’t mean you couldn’t sleep in here, I meant you can’t stay on the floor. I don’t want to see you sick. Your system is still trying to recover.” Pausing and taking a deep breath, he added, “Daphne, I’ll put you on the bed if you want but I don’t want to frighten you. I won’t hurt you. You can trust me to never hurt you.”
Nodding, she whispered, “I know, Ryan. I know I can trust you.” Hearing those words from the mouth of a woman who had been through what this woman had was like a punch to his heart.
He lifted her gently and put her on the other side of his big bed, pulling her socks back up before covering her with the quilt. Walking into the living room, he pulled another heavy quilt from the back of the chair and stoked the fire.
Back in the bedroom, Daphne had curled on her side. He dropped the second blanket over her, tucking it around her feet and up to her chin. He climbed under his blankets, thankful he’d gone to bed in a t-shirt and sleep pants. For a long time, he watched her watch him. Closing his eyes and pretending to sleep allowed her to eventually drift to sleep.
Ryan considered the knowledge that a woman was sleeping in bed with him for the first time in many years. He didn’t want to think about how much he enjoyed having her there. Watching her breathing, her lips slightly parted, the steady rise and fall of the blankets covering her soothed him as nothing had for so long.
When he slipped under hard, a slight rumbling snore filling the snug space, Daphn
e watched him until the sky began to lighten.
The next morning, Ryan opened his eyes and Daphne was gone. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and touched the indentation on the pillow where she’d slept.
He smelled coffee and bacon. Getting up, he pulled on socks and went to the kitchen. Daphne stood at the stove wearing long john pants and a t-shirt of his that fell almost to her knees. She stood with her hand on her hip while she cooked.
She looked like she belonged where she was. Right here, in his cabin, sharing space with him. He realized her hair was finally getting some of its shine back and it fell heavily down her back in a thick braid. He wondered if it was losing the coarseness so many months of neglect had given it.
“Good morning, Daphne.” She turned with a look of surprise and gave him a half smile. “You don’t have to do that. I’m happy to cook for you. You should be resting.” He went to add a log to the fire and found she’d already done it.
“I was a good cook once. I was curious if I could figure out how to turn on the stove.” She shrugged and turned back to the bacon and eggs popping in the fry pan. “Thank you for babying me last night, Ryan. It gave me such a sense of peace for the first time in a long time. I think I’m strong enough to call today.” He sat at the table, wondering at the dread he suddenly felt in his gut. “I should get out of your hair before I screw up your entire life.”
The Hermit Page 3