by S. J. Bishop
I nodded. This was actually the first time I’d gotten to spend any real time with Nikki. “She’s so confused,” I said, my heart breaking for Mia’s daughter. “She keeps asking for her Mama.”
“What do you tell her?”
“That Mama’s with the angels.”
“What else can you say?” Law agreed after a moment, and whether it was finally having someone to talk to or whether it was Law’s steady, calming presence, I relaxed a bit. My stomach unknotted itself, and I reached over and grabbed a piece of provolone.
But then Law smiled at me; it was warm, familiar, and encouraging. And my stomach knotted up all over again. I made myself swallow the cheese.
“Are you staying with your mother while you’re in town?” Law asked. He sounded as if he was merely making polite conversation, but his eyes were intent on mine.
“Yes…” I said, and found myself leaning forward without meaning to.
But as Law opened his mouth to ask another question, the energy in the room shifted perceptibly. Loud conversation turned into low murmurs, and people began to look toward the door. So I looked too, and my heart nearly stopped.
Valentino Solano had just walked in.
3
Law
Fuck. I’d sworn that I was going to stay away from Gwen Mathers, but talking to her again, even meaningless small talk, made me feel as if I’d rediscovered something I’d stopped looking for a while ago. And it may have been inappropriate, but when she’d started picking from the plate I’d brought her, I felt this strange-ass primal male satisfaction come over me. Like I’d done a good job providing or something.
I was so tuned to her that I didn’t even notice the change in the room until Gwen gasped. Then I looked. People were staring at a young man who’d walked through the entrance. He was wearing black slacks, a black shirt, and a golden horn around his neck. He had a set of shoulders that a lineman would envy and looked like a hired thug. I didn’t recognize him.
“Who is that?” I asked Gwen. She obviously knew him. Other people did too; enough of the Julianos and Garcias had turned to stare that even my teammates were shifting nervously.
“Val Solano,” said Gwen.
I didn’t know the first name, but I knew the last. “What is a Solano doing here?” I asked. The Solanos and the Julianos had an incredibly tentative truce. But what issues there were between the families, I didn’t know; I was not involved in the business.
“He knew Mia,” said Gwen, who was looking away now, frowning. “They were…friends.” I was good at reading people (part of what made me such a damn good running back), and I could read what Gwen wasn’t saying. Whatever had gone on between Mia and Val Solano hadn’t met with her superior approval.
Looking back at Val, I could see he looked incredibly uncomfortable. He walked through the room without making eye contact with anyone and headed over to the bar.
I looked over at Uncle Joe, who was talking to Arthur and another one of the cousins. The old men glanced at Solano but made no moves to intercept him.
I turned back to Gwen and, against my better judgement, decided to press my luck.
“I know there are better times to ask you this…”
“Gwen Mathers!” my grandmother interrupted me. She had come up on Uncle Carlos’ arm and was staring at Gwen with her “mother Mary” eyes. “If there is a silver lining in this whole affair, it’s that I get to see you again.”
My grandmother had loved Gwen and had been almost as heartbroken as I was when Gwen had broken up with me and moved to Chicago.
Gwen flushed and fumbled to respond. I was forced to save my proposition until after my grandmother had finished giving Gwen the third degree.
“Oh, how terrible,” my grandmother said upon hearing about Gwen’s job. “But it confirms something I always knew about you.” She reached over, giving Gwen’s arm a squeeze. “That you are a saint, Gwen Mathers, and my grandson did not deserve you.”
She frowned in my direction and then reached over and squeezed my arm, too.
“Do me a favor, Lawrence, and try not to drive our Gwen away too soon.”
I smiled at my grandmother and knew it didn’t reach my eyes because she shrugged at me and allowed Uncle Carlos to lead her off.
I inhaled, thinking about how best to get Gwen to agree to go back to my place with me. I opened my mouth to try again, but Val Solano was approaching.
“Hey, Gwen,” he said. He wasn’t very tall, but he was incredibly broad through the chest and thick with muscle.
“Hello,” said Gwen, smiling politely at the man who’d known her sister.
“I’m real cut up about Mia, Gwen. I’m so sorry for your family, really.” I blinked. I hadn’t realized that Val was drunk, but as he leaned close to shake Gwen’s hand, I could smell it on him. I almost moved to put myself between them, but it wasn’t my place. Gwen could handle herself.
Gwen looked a bit put off by the fumes of alcohol now rolling off of Solano. “Thank you,” she said. Then, “I hope you get something to eat while you’re here.”
I hoped he hadn’t driven himself here.
“Thanks, Gwen. Hey, Henry, man, great game last week.” Solano held out an unsteady hand, and I took it after a moment. We don’t know each other, but I suppose if you’re an Italian in “the business” in Miami, then you know about my connection with the Julianos. “Shit ton of fish in here, aren’t there?” he said, indicating the Dolphins players that were mingling.
I inclined my head at him.
“Tell you what,” said Solano, clapping me on the shoulder as if we were pals. I had to stop myself from moving out from under his heavy hand. “I gotta thank you, man. I made a ton of money off you last week. I owe you. Can I get you a drink?”
“No thanks,” I said politely. “Just take care of yourself.” I breathed easier when he strode off.
“Now, where were we…” I said, turning back to Gwen. I stopped. Gwen’s expression looked pinched, and as she smiled up at me, it was brittle.
“We were saying goodbye,” she said. “I’ve got to get back to my mother’s house.”
“Wait,” I said, blinking. That was abrupt – just two seconds ago, she’d been picking off my plate and all but leaning against me. “Just like that, seriously?”
Gwen nodded. “Yes. I have to go home. It was good to see you, Law. I’ll see you tomorrow at the will reading.”
“Wait. Hang on,” I said, setting the plate down on a passing waiter’s tray. “I was hoping you might have dinner at my place tonight. I’d really like to catch up more…”
“Thanks for the invitation, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Did I just do something wrong?” Warm one minute and cold the next. What the hell?
“This.” Gwen waved her hand around Beneventos and then gestured to where Solano was ordering another drink. “That…” She shook her head. “You haven’t changed since we last met, Law. And that’s fine! But the reasons I broke up with you haven’t changed either.”
Of course they hadn’t. She didn’t like “the company I kept.” As if I could choose whether or not to love the family that had been there for me when my father had left, when my mother had died. And now, when my brother had passed away, here they all were again. I wasn’t a part of the family business, and she knew it, but in her mind, the Julianos were bad people, and I shouldn’t consort with them.
“Is this about Solano?” I asked. “I’m not gambling with him. He probably bet on my game. That’s not a crime, Gwen.” I was getting angry and had to keep my voice down.
Gwen took a deep breath. “You’re right,” she said after a moment. “It’s not about Solano. But we’re in Beneventos right now – this restaurant is Mafia owned, and half of these people are members of Cuban or Italian organized crime syndicates. How many of them have killed people?”
“This is my brother’s funeral,” I said, barely whispering. “There has got to be a better time and place to reha
sh old arguments. Gwen, listen…”
4
Gwen
I didn’t feel like listening, honestly. But as Law tried to defend himself and justify his relationship with his family members, I knew my anger in Law was misplaced – I was upset about losing Mia and upset about what her death would mean for my life. I was about to become a single mother.
I looked over at the bar, where Val Solano was throwing back shots. Val’s presence had reminded me of some of idiotic decisions Mia had made in her life that were now going to directly impact Nikki and Law, decisions that I was now going to have to deal with…
“…these things aren’t black and white, Gwen. Can you honestly tell me that Arthur was ever bad to you? He was really hurt when you just up and left, and he still doesn’t know why. I haven’t told him…”
I took a deep breath. I’d heard this speech before. It was the same one that Law had given me the night we’d broken up. Only now, he wasn’t shouting it at me; he sounded like he was imploring me. I took a deep breath.
“Law, what do you want from me?”
Val Solano had just put back his fifth shot and was beginning to look unsteady on his feet. He looked like he was going to fall off of his chair, but he grabbed the bar just in time.
“I’m sorry,” I said, realizing that Law had replied and was waiting for my answer. “What did you say?”
Law frowned at me and shook his head. “You know what, Gwen? Never mind. I’ll see you at the lawyer’s tomorrow.” And with that, he strode across the room toward a group of his teammates.
I wasn’t expecting the anxiety that spiked the moment he moved away. His presence had been steadying me, and now, with him gone, my chest squeezed with an acute pain that demanded I rush over and say something, anything, to get him back. I ignored it, just like I had six years ago. The head and the heart don’t always agree. I’d watched my mother follow her heart over her head, and I’d watched Mia do the same. I knew better. There was right, and there was wrong. There was no room in this life for gray spaces.
I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself. Maybe it was time to go home.
“Hey, Gwen. I’m not sure if you remember me…”
I turned as someone approached me on the right. Ryan Mcloughlin had been lean in college. Now, he had about fifty pounds more muscle on him and looked as if he’d strolled casually off of the pages of Men’s Health and Fitness. The few times I’d gone to Michigan to visit Law in college, I’d been forced to spend a few evenings with Ryan. I hadn’t been a huge fan. He’d been a senior when Law was a sophomore. There was a party in Law’s apartment one night, and I’d walked into Law’s room to find Mac and some hot red-head in bed together.
“Ah,” said Mac, grinning broadly, “I see you do remember me…”
“If I want another drink, I’ll have another goddamn drink!” All eyes turned toward the bar, where Solano was waving his shot glass at the bartenders. A few younger Julianos stepped forward.
“Shit,” I breathed.
“What’s wrong?” asked Mac, but I could only watch in horror as Solano continued to bang his shot glass on the bar. The glass shattered.
The Julianos began to converge, but before they could reach Val, Law was there, putting a hand on Val’s back and shoulder and waving two fingers at the bartender. The room seemed to hold its collective breath as the bartender eyed both men warily before pouring out another two shots.
“To Mia,” I heard Law say loudly, gesturing to the room around him.
“Well, shit,” said Mac. I had to agree. Law hated being the center of attention, now all eyes were on him. The room echoed his sentiment. I raised my own glass of ginger ale and watched as Law and Val put back the shots. Law kept his hand on Val’s back and leaned down to say something to him. Val swayed on his chair and then responded…
“You all right?” Mac asked, putting a steadying hand on my elbow. No. I was not all right. Was Val talking about Mia? What was Val saying to Law?! My heart hammered in my chest. Please, Val, just keep your drunken mouth shut!
“Do you want to go outside for some air?” Mac was being incredible solicitous. I watched as Law seemed to suggest the same thing to Val because the two got up and headed toward the door together. I needed to know what they were saying.
“Yes,” I said and let Mac lead me outside.
When we got to the door, Law was putting Val Solano into a cab. He stood there a moment, watching the car drive off and looking perplexed. What had Val said to him?
“Well done, man,” said Mac, catching Law’s attention. Law glanced over, his eyes fastening on me, his expression unreadable. I realized I was close to shaking. I’d never felt this out of sorts before. Mia, Eric, Law, Val… it was all too much for me. I wanted to get out of here. I wanted to wake up and call my sister in a panic because I’d had this terrible dream…
“Hey, are you all right?” Law stepped forward, and I realized that I was all but quivering beneath Ryan’s hands.
“I’m…” But I couldn’t finish the sentence. Emotions swelled up and blocked my throat, so strong I could barely contain them.
“Gwen.” My name on his lips was my undoing; I opened my mouth, and a sob came out.
Law was there instantly, taking Mac’s place, wrapping his arms around me. I collapsed against his chest, and I began to cry in earnest. I sobbed so hard I shook with it. God! Mia!
I pressed my face into his jacket and tried to calm down, but I couldn’t. I tried to pull away so my nose wouldn’t run all over him, but he didn’t seem to care. His arms were so strong, his grip so vital and so secure, that I just clung there, sobbing.
“Shhh.” Law rubbed my back. “Gwen,” he said. “Can I get you out of here?”
I nodded.
“Do you want me to take you back to your mother’s house?” Oh god, no. Not there. I couldn’t go back and watch my mother take another pill or yell “Why me, God?” one more time.
“There’s a hotel not far from here,” said Law. “It has a small bar at the bottom that’ll be empty this time of day. Do you want to go there?”
I nodded.
5
Law
Yes, she was sobbing and pretty damn vulnerable, and yes, I felt like a real dick for even considering what I was about to do. But I refused to feel guilty. I knew I wasn’t imagining the moment we’d had in the restaurant before my grandmother had interrupted. We both needed comfort – and I’d always found that talking wasn’t all that effective at purging emotions. Fucking, on the other hand…
I saw Mac raise his brows in surprise. He knew the hotel I was talking about. I lived on the top floor of it – but I wasn’t going to tell her that. I shot him a look, and he shrugged as if to say, I’m not judging.
I waited for Gwen to quiet down a bit before I let her go and gave the valet my ticket and a tip. He had my black Range Rover pulled up within minutes, and I handed Gwen into the front seat as he opened the door.
Gwen stopped crying in the car. She pulled tissues from her purse and wiped at the makeup that had smeared across her cheeks. “God,” she said, her voice still raw. “I look like a mess.”
“And yet, somehow, you still manage to look beautiful,” I told her. It was true. Gwen had “it girl” good looks – sex appeal with flaunting her sexuality.
She smiled at me, and her smile was watery. Then she shook her head, as if shaking my compliment away. We pulled up in front of the Topaz, and I left my keys in the car, waving the valet over. They’d be a bit confused as to why I wasn’t parking my own car, but they wouldn’t question me. I handed Gwen out of the car, and we walked through the hotel lobby and into the small bar in the back.
I was right. The bar was practically empty. I got us a low table toward the back, one of the ones that had a single couch wrapped around it so that Gwen and I had to sit thigh to thigh. Gwen settled in and leaned back against the red leather seat. “Headache?” I asked as her eyes closed.
“Pressure from cryin
g,” she said. “I hate crying.”
“May I?” I didn’t wait for permission as I took the clip out of her hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo as her hair tumbled thickly onto her shoulders. “Here.” I shifted her so that she was turned away from me and reached a hand into her hair, rubbing at the back of her head, where she carried her tension.
Gwen was stiff a moment, and I thought she might tell me to stop, but after a second, she relaxed, her head falling heavily into my hand. This wasn’t my first rodeo. I knew what I was doing.
“Is that any better?” I asked, sliding my hand out of her hair as the waitress approached the table. Gwen nodded, looking slightly self-conscious.
“Martini still your drink of choice?” I asked her. She nodded.
“Two martinis,” I said to the waitress before she could greet me by name. “One wet, with gin; the other vodka, dirty.”
“I can’t believe you remembered my drink,” said Gwen, offering me a small smile. I remembered a lot more than her drink order. I remembered how Gwen liked to be touched; I remembered how to seduce her, what she sounded like when she came… Fuck. I wanted her badly. It had been a terrible week, and my grandmother was right: the only silver lining in this whole incident was that Gwen and I were together, and that only ten floors separated the two of us from a bed.
“I’ve got a good memory,” I said, and reached out, gently tucking a dark strand of hair behind Gwen’s ear. I let my hands linger there as my eyes skimmed her body. Anyone looking Gwen over might think her a prude: she tended to wear loose-fitting clothes and high-necked shirts that didn’t flaunt her cleavage. She seemed to go out of her way to present herself as pretty, not sexy – but Gwen was explosive in bed. And she liked sex. She’d never said no, never feigned a headache, and she’d always been easy as fuck to get off.