by Liza James
My breasts feel achy and tight, my nipples already peaked at the sensual tone to his voice. I’m wet and for a split second, my thoughts are filled with visions of Nathanial and I coming together in a heated collision. We’d be all slick bodies, hard and chaotic while the atmosphere explodes around us.
“How the hell do I do it,” Nathanial asks as he turns toward Leon.
No, no. Come back. I reach forward, unintentionally thinking I can hold on to him when my hand slips right through his form, as if he doesn’t exist.
“You can’t do it,” Leon responds flatly, crossing his arms over his chest in agitation. Of course, he can’t. It would only make sense, another chip in the fantasy I have over Nathanial and I being something more than whatever we are now.
“I didn’t ask you if I could, I asked you how I could.” Nathanial turns back towards me, tilting his head back and forth as he cracks his neck and then stretches his shoulders. He’s preparing himself, closing his eyes as he tries to even out his breaths. “Elijah, come here.”
Elijah stands, throwing his apple to Luna as he walks by and comes up behind Nathanial. His face is relaxed, almost bored at the situation taking place around him. But his body is tense and there is a minor tick settling in the base of his jaw.
“And I’m telling you the only answer that exists. You cannot astral project. Only Succubi and Incubi ca—” Leon starts, but quickly cuts himself off when Nathanial’s body crashes to the ground, only being caught by Elijah at the last second.
“Holy shit. Was not expecting that.” Leon’s voice is full of shock as he steps closer to my brother and crouches down to assist in laying my lifeless form flat on the ground.
Elijah’s eyes narrow in confusion and surprise. “What the fuck, brother?” he grinds out through his teeth. He’s frustrated, I can see the tension pulling his shoulders tight as he steps away and glances around the room.
I’m not entirely sure how I pulled that off, but I believe the simple fact that I was being torn up on the inside as I searched the room for Stella somehow pushed me over that edge. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see her after she projected herself, but that didn’t stop me from seeking, tearing every inch of the space apart with my eyes for some sort of indication of her.
It may also be partly due to the odd reflection I have to her. Whatever she feels, her chaotic emotions, the thin tether of our Fated connection that has yet to be solidified, still subtly runs between us.
I’m immediately standing in front of her projected form now, my chest only inches away from hers as all the frustration and irritation I’m feeling boils over and I react. I launch forward, roping one hand in her red hair while my other tightly grips her waist as I drag her against me. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to physically touch her, but I assume that because we are in the same dimension, I can.
“Nathanial,” she starts, but her voice is weaker than I expect it to be. It wavers and breaks in confusion as she speaks my name.
“You should have come back immediately. We could have practiced your traveling again—later—when we’ve discussed the possibilities and dangers. Leon was reckless in pushing you into this without any knowledge.” I shift her backwards, until I’m crowding her and we’re in the corner of the room. Everyone is anxiously waiting, searching the space for our return but I don’t give a fuck about them right now.
“How are you here?” she asks me, completely ignoring my reprimand.
“Did you hear a word I just said? You need to jump back into that pretty little ass of yours and we can figure this out another time.” My eyes search hers briefly, diving into those thick black lashes and deep washes of pale blue. She’s confused, and I’m guessing even hurt at the revelation that I can meet her here. I can see it in the way her eyes are creased in the corners and her soft, rosy lips pull down on the edges just slightly. I fight the urge to lift a hand and brush some of her curls back off her forehead, expose more of that milky skin I fucking crave to touch and taste.
“Nathanial, how are you here?” she asks again, but this time her voice is hardly a whisper. She dares to lift her own hand and rest it on the back of my neck, letting her fingers slide across my heated skin as her thumb presses into my flesh. She works my muscles there, kneading and urging me to answer her. My skin lights up, alerting to her touch immediately and focusing on the elusive rope that pulls between us. God, I can fucking feel it. The distinct mark of our Fated bind that aches to burst forth. She doesn’t know what this is, but I do. I’ve learned about it my entire life, studied it, and intentionally chose to release it when I made that pathetic fucking deal.
I lean forward, pulling myself out of her touch a bit but bringing my lips even closer to hers. I can practically taste her on my tongue, her soft breaths are picking up speed in shallow inhales as they mark my skin in her scent. She’s turned on, and her arousal ignites an entirely new fire billowing underneath my flesh.
That heady scent of smoke on the fourth of July, after the fireworks have exploded and you’re standing in the blazing heat of the summer. You’re engulfed in the intoxicating scent of a great fucking time, cotton candy and bonfires, sex and whiskey.
I’m getting it all from her, absorbing it and drinking it in like it’s my last sip.
“I can’t go over this with you. You know that,” I say, my voice dropping lower as I fight to maintain my strength away from her. But my lips brush across hers as I speak, and the drowning sensation of desperation explodes in my veins. “Fuck. How the Hell do I stay away from you, Stella?”
“Don’t,” she whispers, her voice a bit higher as her eyes implore me to claim her. God, I want to. My cock is hard against my jeans, painfully aching to slip inside her tight pussy and mark her as mine.
Mine to own, mine to fuck, mine to intoxicate and ruin.
“You’re taking too long, Nathanial. You need to get the fuck back inside your physical form. There’s too many dangers to you projecting yourself without protection.” Leon’s voice interrupts my quickly spiraling strength and I step back, releasing my hold on Stella and running my hands through my hair in agitation. I glance back at Leon over my shoulder as he continues speaking into the room.
“Stella has the pendant I put on her before we started training. It protects her body from being inhabited by other drifting souls or Demons in the same realm. I didn’t know you could project yourself otherwise I would have had one made for you as well. But you didn’t share that little fucking secret, so you need to get your ass back before you lose your body forever.” His words sink into my mind, and I’m instantly glad she has that choker. When I had first seen it, I couldn’t stop the rush of anger I felt at Leon getting her something so personal. But now, I’m thankful he put her safety first.
I’m still so focused on Stella and what’s happening in this moment that I’m not ready to go back just yet. My mind is warring with our Fated connection, it isn’t even bonded yet, not even at full force and still I feel like I’m directly responding to everything she’s feeling.
Instead of her and I being united, working as one entity, one strength, we are clashing and colliding on a level that’s destructive. Our cravings and hunger, her anger and my irritation, are merging into a force that’s difficult for me to control.
I realize it’s dangerous, whatever chaos is happening between us right now, but I just want a few more seconds to see her. To fucking watch her while we’re in our own private space.
I quickly remind myself of the punishing memories that plague my mind. Why exactly, I can’t have her. Why this will never be possible, and suddenly I realize we’re all alone in a place where I can destroy her without interference.
Something I unfortunately, need to do.
“Go,” Stella says, her eyes wide with worry at Leon’s warning. “Go back and I’ll follow you.”
“I’m not ready just yet,” I admit, stepping towards her again. I stop just feet away, preparing myself internally for what I’m about to say. “Listen t
o me, Stella. Really fucking listen to me.”
I take another step, bringing my chest flush against hers as I look down at her bright eyes. I slowly lift my hand and graze my thumb along her swollen bottom lip, savoring the feeling of her pretty lips pulled apart for me. I’m tempted to slide inside her mouth, watch as she sucks me in and imagine how she would look on her knees before me. Hands tied behind her back and my fingers tangled in her hair as I fuck her sweet face with my cock.
“Nathanial,” Elijah snaps this time, yanking me back to this moment and deteriorating the filthy thoughts that curse my mind.
“This will never work with us do you hear me?” I say, forcing the power and authority into my voice as I shatter this moment.
Stella’s eyes slick over in anger, narrowing as she defiantly pulls her face out of my grasp. I dart forward, quickly snatching her jaw in my large hand and yank her body against mine again.
“Answer me,” I demand but she closes her eyes and refuses to meet my gaze. “Stella.”
“You’re lying,” she whispers between clenched teeth. She still won’t open her eyes, but I know she feels the war that rages inside of me when it comes to her. I’m always split, always fucking fighting these feelings for her.
She’s my equal in every way I could possibly want. She challenges me and pushes me, she sets me on fire, and seduces the part of me that craves to dominate her.
But she’d be doomed to a life she wouldn’t want, away from her sister, from the family she has built here in this new life. I will never be the reason she has to live that, and if I have to make her hate me in the process, then I’ll sacrifice that to save her.
“I’m not lying. Open your fucking eyes and look at me,” I inhale a heavy breath, squaring my shoulders and tensing every muscle in my body as I force the words out of my mouth. I lift my other hand and place it on the other side of her jaw, forcing her head to tilt up and meet my eyes when she finally submits and opens her own. “You’re nothing to me. Not even worthy of a casual fuck, Stells. I tolerate being around you on behalf of Luna and Elijah. But that’s it.” The words scrape out of my throat like razor blades. I hate them, loathe what they are doing to her.
I watch as silent tears fill her eyes and she immediately fights to push out of my hold, her hands tear into the flesh at my wrists as she shoves me away. But I’m stronger, and I reach forward to rip a hand through her hair and pull her back to me, force her to feel my body against hers while I break her.
“Let me go,” she snaps, her lips curl back over her teeth as tears stream down her light cheeks.
“No, you need to hear what I’m saying and finally get it through your fucking head. I fuck different women every other night and don’t think twice about you. I have never wanted you.” I shove her back, stepping away from her and towards my physical form lying on the ground. My eyes never leave hers though, and I decide to drive the nail in as far as I can manage in this moment. Finish this agonizing relationship off for good. “You know what? Maybe, maybe if you’re lucky and keep to your fucking self, one day I’ll let you suck my cock and swallow my cum. But that’s the only way you’re getting anything out of me, baby girl. So, get your ass back in your body and do as you’re fucking told.”
I wait, standing there in silence as she soundlessly cries. Her body says something entirely different though, she’s tense and vibrating with a rage I’ve never seen from her. Good, that’s what I wanted. For her to give up and stay the Hell away, realize this isn’t what she wants from us.
Suddenly, she steps forward, coming towards me as she glides across the room in resolved strength. She doesn’t even bother wiping the tears from her cheeks, she doesn’t look ashamed of them—she shouldn’t be. This is a breakdown of catastrophic proportions. We’re detonating into an explosion of devastating insults and chaotic decimation.
“You’re a Goddamn liar. If anyone is pathetic in this fucked up relationship, it’s you. One second you’re fucking me with your words, demanding I call you Daddy and the next, you’re intentionally hurting me to force me into hating you.” She steps closer to me, shoving me back with her own small hands, and I let her. I let her push me away and fight me like she thinks she can.
She sees me. She understands me way too well. “But you aren’t this cruel. Not to anyone else. It’s not in your nature to be this hateful, and I’ve only known you for a few months, but I already know that. Because guess what, I think I fucking know you. Don’t I, Nathanial? You wouldn’t fight this hard if you didn’t care about me. So that means you’re hiding something pretty fucking bad if you can manage ripping me apart in order to save yourself. That’s pathetic. Tell me. It’s that we’re Fated, isn’t it? You’ve been hiding that bullshit, thinking I don’t know what the fuck I’m feeling between us.”
My heart rate kicks up as anger and adrenaline begin racing through my blood. I’m split completely in half, part of me ignites at the idea of her being aware of our Fated connection, but the other half of me is pissed at the fact that she’s still fucking trying. I can’t win, not in any scenario this turns to.
Stella shoves me again, but I’m so caught up in her Fated remark that I fall backwards and she takes the opportunity to go down with me. She immediately climbs over me, sitting down to straddle my hips with hers when she places her hands on my shoulders and leans forward.
“Why are you fighting this so hard? Stop fucking lying to me and give it to me straight. I’m sick of the goddamn lies, Nathanial. I can’t keep doing this with you.”
I reach up and grip her throat in my hand, holding her back while my fingers bite into her flesh. “Good, give up, Stella. You’re embarrassing yourself, always so fucking wet for me, aren’t you?”
She surprises me though, refusing to submit and fights to wrap her own hand tightly around my throat. “Don’t you dare. Don’t twist this pull we have to each other and taint it with something toxic. It’s right, and you want to fuck me just as badly. You think you can lie about that? That? I feel your hard cock when it grinds against me, even now, while we’re fighting and you’re aiming to destroy me. I feel it,” she drops her lips to my ear as she rocks her hips against me. She’s right. I’m hard as a rock as I roll back against her wet core. “You’re getting even harder, thicker, while I fight back, aren’t you? Are you going to come, Daddy? Or do you still want me to swallow?”
Fucking Hell. She’s saying everything with a sarcastic bite to her tone. She’s pissed, and she’s a filthy fighter. I love it, almost as much as I love her submitting to my dominance.
“Fuck you, Stella,” I say as I launch up and grip her waist, flipping us over so that she’s the one pinned on the ground beneath me. I hold her down by her throat, immediately rolling my hips into hers as I dry fuck her.
“Tell me we aren’t Fated,” she whispers, and her body begins responding to mine on another level. Her legs open wider and I settle myself between them as I slow my pace.
“We aren’t Fated,” I reply, but my voice betrays me, and I hesitate through the words.
“Coward.” She breaks and I lose every bit of control I’ve struggled to maintain as she calls me the fuck out. I yank her up by her neck and my lips crash against hers, devouring her taste and taking her mouth with my own. My tongue dives between her lips, colliding with hers as we continue that same fight to regain control. My hips continue driving forward and the soft whimpers that leave her mouth infect my blood in heat and arousal.
“Nathanial! Get the Fuck Back!” Leon’s voice roars through the room and Stella shoves me away, forcing space between our bodies and cutting off our reckless kiss.
“This doesn’t change anything,” I spit out as I quickly stand and drag her towards her form on the couch. “Get the fuck in and I’ll follow you. I’m not leaving until I know you’re there.”
Stella watches me for a moment, clearly unsure of how to respond when she simply turns and slips back into her form. It’s instantaneous, her physical body suddenly lifting and r
esponding as usual. She gasps as she sucks in several breaths and I immediately move to my own body, doing the same and allowing my soul to merge with the sleeve it belongs to.
I can’t let that happen again. It was a dangerous mistake that only halts our progress, I’ve got to show her that she really doesn’t want a future with me.
I reach my hand up and clutch my chest, sucking in breath after breath while I try to regulate my racing heartbeat and straining lungs. My eyes are glued to Nathanial’s lifeless form when it fails to respond only seconds after I’ve rejoined with mine.
Where is he?
“He came back with you, right?” Leon asks as he crouches down in front of Nathanial’s face.
I nod, unable to form words at the moment while I’m still trying to adjust back to this dimension.
“Mother fucker,” Elijah starts, reaching down and gripping Nathanial’s shoulders just as he moves to pull him upright. But suddenly he’s there, gasping for breath and twisting on the floor so that he can brace himself against the ground and adjust.
I’m frozen in place, relief floods my system, while that familiar anger returns as well. I hate this chaotic battle we’re always in, but I don’t see an end to it anytime soon. Nathanial quickly shoots forward, his strong hand wrapping tight around my wrist as he yanks me to the ground in front of him. His hold is hard, biting into my skin in a way that makes me wonder if he’ll leave bruises.
“I know you, and I know you’re going to want to do that again. But do not do it unless one of us is with you. And always wear that fucking pendant. Do you understand me?” His voice is hoarse, but no less powerful as he commands me. I pause before answering, reliving everything we just did, everything we said while we projected and wonder if he really deserves a fucking answer from me.