by Monroe, Lucy
“I stomped on his foot to get him to back up and when he did, I punched him.”
His smile was slow and sexy. “You’re some little Amazon when you’re riled, aren’t you, honey?”
She shrugged, secretly pleased at the approval she saw in his eyes. “When you grow up in west Texas, you learn how to take care of yourself. Now, answer my question. Am I just a challenge to you?”
His smile faded and his eyes became very intense. “Carlene, I need you like I haven’t needed a woman in a long time, maybe ever. It hasn’t got a damn thing to do with your lack of experience. In fact, I spent most of last night trying to convince myself to leave you the hell alone.”
She looked around her room and then back at Win. “But you didn’t succeed.”
“No.”
“I still don’t want an affair.”
“I’m still not interested in marriage.” He released her and swung away. He walked over to her bed and picked up the book she had been reading.
It was a romantic suspense by her favorite author. She should have known she was in trouble when she’d been unable to concentrate on it.
He laid the book back down and turned around to face her again. The expression on his face chilled her. “My ex-wife used sex to manipulate me into marriage, Carlene. I won’t let that happen again.”
The knowledge that he’d been married before hurt her. “Where does that leave us, Win?”
“I don’t know. Are you going to use my attraction to you to try to force marriage?”
A painful lump formed in her throat. “No, but I’m not going to have a casual affair with you either.”
His hands clenched at his sides. “I guess there’s nothing left to say, then, is there?”
He turned and headed toward the door. With each step he took, she wanted to stop him, to call him back. But for what?
She didn’t have an answer to the impasse they found themselves in either.
Three days later, Carlene was exhausted and cranky as she shucked the corn on the cob she planned to serve Win and the hands for dinner that night. Grateful that she had a smaller number to feed than usual, she yanked the husk off the outside of the corn and tossed it in the bag at her feet. A couple of the ranch hands were delivering a stud Win had sold to another Mustang breeder in Wyoming. They weren’t expected back until tomorrow.
She kept an eye on Shelly and Jared out of the corner of her eye. They were playing in a small plastic pool that Win had purchased for them. She’d wanted to set it up in the courtyard, but they wanted to watch the horses and she’d compromised, setting the pool up outside the back entrance to the kitchen, telling the kids they’d have to watch the horses from that distance. Jared splashed Shelly and the little girl gave a gleeful shout.
Carlene smiled despite her irritable mood. Win had been right when he said they were “a couple of real cute kids”. Watching them had confirmed her own desire to be a mother. Something she wasn’t likely to become anytime soon.
“Miss Carlene, Miss Carlene. Jared has to go potty. Can I take him?” asked Shelly while Jared hopped on one foot, looking desperate.
Shelly loved escorting her brother to the bathroom and setting up the potty chair for him. It made her feel like a big girl, so Carlene agreed.
She’d just finish shucking the corn and then go make sure Jared got his big-boy underwear pulled up right.
She brushed the back of her hand against the slight perspiration on her forehead. She needed a nap. Between Shelly waking up in the middle of the night and thoughts of Win that disturbed Carlene’s rest, she had been getting precious little sleep the past few days.
Shelly hadn’t woken the night before last. She seemed to be settling into the routine of the ranch, but then Leah had called last night and spoken to the children. It had been almost impossible to get Shelly and Jared to sleep and then, predictably, Shelly had woken around midnight calling for her mother.
Carlene had rocked the little girl for over an hour before Shelly had fallen back asleep.
Win told Carlene that Leah had said she just needed a few more days and then she’d be back. He hadn’t volunteered anything else and Carlene hadn’t asked. Truthfully, she didn’t care when Leah got back except how it affected Shelly and Jared.
Carlene’s main concern was the fear that she was falling in love with her boss, a man who would probably never let himself love her. He’d been very careful to avoid any physical contact with her for the last three days and it was driving her crazy. When their hands accidentally collided while bathing the children, he would yank his away as if she burned him.
His constant rejection made her want to cry, but not half so much as the haunted expression she saw on his face whenever he really looked at her.
Win still wanted her, of that she was certain. But how long would he want her? He wasn’t looking for a lifetime commitment and Carlene wasn’t foolish enough to believe that a temporary physical attraction would lead to anything more than heartache for her. She hated the fact that Win equated her desire for a strong commitment to manipulation. It wasn’t that she wanted to force him to marry her.
What she needed was the security that they were both going into the relationship wanting to make it last, looking at the possibility of a future together. She couldn’t have a future with a man who refused to marry, could she?
The knowledge that he’d been married once before gnawed at her. He had loved one woman enough to risk the commitment despite his experience growing up with a mother who changed husbands as often as some women changed hairstyles. What had ended his first marriage? Did he still love his ex-wife?
That question tormented Carlene more than any other. The thought of Win loving another woman made her want to throw up.
She finished shucking the corn and stood up. Time to check on the kids. She was surprised that they hadn’t come back outside to continue playing in the pool. When she tried to open the kitchen door, though, she found it locked. Panic pulsed through her until she heard giggles from the inside.
The children weren’t hurt.
She rushed around to the kitchen window and, standing on her tip-toes, tried to peer inside. She wasn’t tall enough. She looked around her for something to stand on; her gaze fell on a wooden crate one of the hands had left near the house. She dragged it over to the window and stepped up, this time getting a clear view of the kitchen.
The sight that met her eyes made her sigh with relief and groan in exasperation. Jared stood in the center of the floor wearing one of Carlene’s large white aprons and holding a wooden spoon. Shelly stood on a chair with a box of cereal. She poured the cereal onto the floor into a large puddle of milk as Carlene watched helplessly through the window. Jared stirred it with the spoon.
“Something wrong, Carlene?”
Win’s voice startled her and she lost her balance. Her arms windmilled and the bag of corn she had been holding went flying just before she did. Win caught her, but several small thuds indicated the corn hadn’t been so lucky.
Landing against Win’s chest, she expelled air in a big whoosh. For a brief moment in time, she forgot the children making cereal on the floor she’d mopped just that morning. She forgot her fears for the future. She forgot that Win had been avoiding her. All she could think about was the feel of Win’s strong arms locked around her and his rock-hard body pressed against her own.
It didn’t matter that he only held her because she’d literally flown through the air to land in his arms. He was holding her and it felt good, too good. Her eyes wide, she licked her lips, trying to find something to say.
He swore and then lowered his mouth to hers.
The kiss was brief, but explosive. Although he pulled back almost immediately, she had felt the desperate hunger in him and it called to a matching emotion in her.
He set her away from him. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
“I know.”
She did too. He’d made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to s
tart anything under her terms. She forced herself to look away from him and noticed the corn strewn on the ground. She wanted to scream out her frustration, but swallowed the urge. She bent down and started to gather the corn.
“Just rinse it and it’ll be fine,” Win said as he picked up the corn near him and tossed it into her bag.
She raised her head and glared at him. “Easy for you to say. You’re not responsible for feeding the hands. I am.”
Win’s eyes narrowed. “Take it easy, honey. No one’s going to notice that the corn took a detour on the way to the table.”
“Maybe not, but they’re bound to notice when they have to eat it raw because Shelly and Jared locked the cook out of the kitchen.”
Win’s smile infuriated her. It wasn’t funny, darn it. “Don’t you dare laugh. This is not in the least amusing.”
He tried to hide his smile. “No. I can see that.”
“Just what do you think Leah would say if she drove up right now? She wouldn’t be very impressed that the woman you hired to watch her children had managed to get herself locked out of the house while they had a merry old time making cereal on the floor.”
“Is that what they’re doing? Making cereal?” he asked.
“Yes, with an entire box of toasted oats and about a gallon of milk from the looks of things.” Just the thought of all that milk spilled on her newly mopped floor made her wince.
Win turned toward the house. “Come on.”
She followed him to the kitchen door. Win pounded on the door. “Shelly, open up. Miss Carlene and I want to come inside.”
Carlene heard movement from within and then the door scraped open. Shelly stood on the other side, her face split in a happy grin. “Hi. Me and Jared got hungry. We made cereal.”
Carlene’s gaze settled on the little boy sitting in the middle of the floor, eating the soggy cereal with his fingers. He looked up and smiled proudly. “I’s a cook. See?”
Part of her wanted to laugh and the other part wanted to make sure the children knew that locking her out of the kitchen and making cereal on the floor was not appropriate behavior.
She settled on turning to glare at Win, who had swung Shelly up into his arms. “Do you still think this is humorous?”
Win indicated his nephew with a flick of his eyes. “Yep. You can’t tell me that’s not funny, Carlene.”
She sighed. So much for help from that quarter. She walked over to Jared and lifted him from the puddle of cereal. “Come on, sweetie, let’s get you cleaned up.”
Jared protested, “But I’s a cook. Don’t wanna get cleaned.”
“You’re a good cook too, Jared. As a matter of fact, I’m going to let you and Shelly help me make dinner, but first we’ve got to wash you up. Cooks have to be very clean when they’re making food for other people.”
“Oh.”
She took that for agreement and headed toward the bathroom.
She looked at Win over her shoulder. “You can bring Shelly. I’ll need your help getting them both bathed before I clean up the mess in the kitchen.”
Win’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve got stuff to do in the stable. I don’t have time to give the kids a bath right now.”
Carlene gave him her sweetest, most insincere, smile. “Just think of it as an amusing blip in your schedule.”
Win growled something that made Shelly laugh.
By the time she and Win had Jared and Shelly bathed and changed, both children were showing signs that they needed a nap. Carlene got them to lie down with the promise that she would wait to finish preparing dinner until they woke up.
Win followed her back into the kitchen. “Need help cleaning up this mess?” he asked, indicating the cereal drying to the floor.
“I thought you had things to do.”
“They’ll keep.”
She shook her head. “That’s okay. Cleaning it up is my penance for letting this happen in the first place.”
“How did you?”
She wasn’t about to admit that she’d gotten sidetracked thinking about him.
She shrugged. “I guess I’m a little tired. I let Shelly take Jared to the bathroom and I didn’t keep very close track of the time that had passed. The next thing I knew, they had locked me out and were pouring milk on my newly mopped floor.”
Win’s eyes filled with concern. “You aren’t getting enough sleep.”
“It was just sitting out in the sunshine being lazy. It made me tired. I’m fine now.” A yawn surprised her before she could stifle it, giving lie to her words.
He reached out and brushed her cheek. “You’ve got shadows under your eyes. I should have noticed. You’re working too hard.”
“I’m fine, really.” She didn’t think her heart could handle his concern. She’d rather he went back to ignoring her.
He shook his head. “You need a nap as much as the kids do. Go lie down and I’ll take care of cleaning up this mess.”
A nap sounded so tempting, but cleaning was her job after all. “Don’t be silly. You didn’t hire me so you’d have to clean up when I’m feeling a little sleepy.”
“Forget the mess,” he growled. “You’re taking a nap.”
She would have argued, but another yawn slipped out and she knew Win would never believe that she didn’t need the rest. She nodded. “Fine, but don’t complain to me about getting behind on your own work.”
He nudged her toward the door. “You’re welcome.”
She didn’t need to be such a fishwife. Turning around, she gave him a conciliatory smile. “I’m sorry, Win. Thank you. Though I’m sure Lonny and Shorty won’t be thanking me for keeping you from the stables.”
She turned to go, but his words stopped her. “Lonny isn’t with Shorty.”
Her tired brain had a difficult time making sense of his statement, but she sensed there was something important there that she needed to understand.
She turned around to face him again. “Where is he, then?”
Win’s shoulder’s lifted in a negligent gesture that said he didn’t know. “I fired him.”
“You fired him? Why?” She couldn’t believe it.
Win looked at her as if her brain wasn’t functioning very well, which it wasn’t. However, her question was a reasonable one.
“He made a pass at you,” Win said.
“But, I took care of it. You didn’t have to fire him.”
A frown creased Win’s features. “He signed his own pink slip the moment he touched you.”
She couldn’t take it in. “That’s ridiculous, Win. This is your busiest time of year. You can’t have fired one of your hands just because he made a play for your housekeeper.”
Suddenly he was right in front of her, his hands holding her in place. “You aren’t just my housekeeper, damn it.”
“Yes, I am. You’re interested in sleeping with me like Lonny was, but I’m no more than your employee.”
His expression turned fierce. “I’m not like Lonny and you know it.”
Weary of fighting over the same ground, she conceded. “You’re right. You are old enough to go out with me for one thing, but you want the same thing he did.”
Win released her and let his arms drop to his side. “Lonny’s a horny kid on the prowl for a good lay. I want you, honey. There’s a difference and one of these days you’re going to figure it out. Then you’ll put us both out of our misery.”
She opened her mouth to deny what he had said, but he pressed one of his fingers against her lips. “Shh. Go take your nap. We’ll talk about this later.”
She swallowed her denial and, pulling away from him, she turned to go.
Win finished cleaning the kitchen, careful to get every last bit of milk mopped up. Carlene wouldn’t appreciate the smell of sour milk in her kitchen. He liked the possessiveness with which she referred to the kitchen. Other housekeeper-cooks had said similar things, but hearing it had never affected Win the same way. It made him feel a sense of permanence with Carlene; like maybe
she wouldn’t quit and move on the way she’d told him she planned to do eventually.
He rinsed the mop with bleach water and put it away in the broom closet. Then, although he knew he needed to get to the stable, he found himself climbing the stairs to the second level and walking down the corridor toward Carlene’s room. He took a minute to check on Jared and Shelly. Both kids were sleeping soundly, which didn’t surprise Win at all. They expended enough energy to fuel a small town. He didn’t know how Carlene handled it. Even with Shorty’s help in the afternoons, she must be running herself ragged, but she hadn’t contacted a service to send someone out to help her.
When he had asked her why, she shrugged and said she didn’t think the kids needed another stranger in their life right now.
She was an amazing woman.
He pushed open her bedroom door and his gaze settled on the woman sleeping in the bed. She’d undressed and her bare shoulder peaked above the light blanket she slept under. His fingers itched to touch the silky smooth skin. How long was she going to keep him waiting? When would she accept that they could be good together?
Good, nothing. They would be spectacular.
She sighed in her sleep and turned her head on the pillow, giving him an unencumbered view of her gentle features. Bruises from lack of sleep marked the skin under her eyes. He felt guilt settle on him. Hell. He should have noticed how tired she was getting, but he’d been so busy trying to avoid her. He’d spent the last three days trying to give her space.
He realized now that the strategy hadn’t worked worth a hill of beans.
She was still focused on his desire to remain single. She couldn’t seem to grasp the fact that he wanted more than some tawdry affair or a one-night stand. He almost laughed. One night with Carlene would only leave him hungry for more. As he’d told her, there was a whole range of possibilities between marriage and a quick roll in the hay.
Wasn’t there?
Of course there was, he admonished himself.
She didn’t think so.
Hell. She’d even compared him to that idiot, Lonny. It was not a flattering comparison. Lonny would bed any willing woman. Win should have realized the potential for trouble when he hired Carlene. He hadn’t. The knowledge rankled.