by Monroe, Lucy
He couldn’t stand it any longer. Needing to comfort the pain he heard in her voice, Win pulled her gently from her chair into his arms.
She was stiff at first, but suddenly she just snuggled against him and spoke into his chest. “It was horrible. Everyone gossiped about me and somehow my looks and my body were considered the measure of my morality rather than my personality or past. I got calls in the middle of the night making threats and accusing me of things I hadn’t even heard of. My principal asked me to resign.”
He rubbed her back with continuous downward strokes. “What did you do?”
“I refused to resign. I fought back. I still had my grading records and the last assignment that clearly deserved a failing grade. I hired a lawyer who took depositions on my behalf. He was able to prove the spuriousness of the student’s claim. We’d never been in the same room alone.”
Win sensed that wasn’t the end of the story. If it had been, she would still be in west Texas teaching high school.
“If the principal had stood behind you, things would have been a lot better,” he said, trying to get a feel for the rest of the story.
“Yes. It would have. However, he was the one that insisted on opening a full-scale investigation—even after the boy admitted he’d made it up to get on the team.”
The yellow-bellied snake. “You were acquitted.”
She pulled back so that she could see his face. What he saw on hers made him tighten his hold on her. Her eyes mirrored a wound that was not completely healed.
“In the eyes of the law, absolutely, but not that town. The day I won the case, I went to my parents’ house. They were about the only two people in town I was certain were still speaking to me.”
“Did they celebrate your victory with you?” He had to ask, although the truth was there in her eyes.
She surprised him when she said, “Sort of.”
Maybe it wasn’t that bad, but his gut told him it was.
Her lip trembled and she took a calming breath before going on. “They congratulated me on winning the case, but my dad suggested I look for a job somewhere else. He said he wanted me to have a new start. To get away from the gossip, but I realized that a good deal of his motivation was that he and mom had been humiliated by my problems and they wanted peace in their lives again. Mom told me later that some of Dad’s golfing buddies had refused to play with him any longer. She said their friends had been pressuring them to get me to leave town.”
Win couldn’t believe the lack of loyalty and weakness her parents had shown. How had they managed to raise a woman as strong and dependable as Carlene? But then, his mom had raised him, hadn’t she? “Did your mom want you to leave town?”
“Yes, but she was a little more subtle. She suggested I take a vacation before going back to work.”
“A vacation?” he asked.
“She thought I should go to Southern California.”
“Why there?”
“Lots of plastic surgeons, or so she had been told.”
“So?” He was confused.
“She suggested I get a breast reduction. Apparently women with a figure like mine invite the sort of trouble I had at my school.”
Win could not believe her mother had been so incredibly stupid. “It wasn’t your fault!”
Her eyes glistened. “Thanks.”
“You don’t have to thank me for the truth.” He’d like some time to talk about the truth with her parents. They certainly didn’t deserve a daughter as wonderful as Carlene.
She settled back against his chest. “I decided that Mom and Dad deserved some peace, so I resigned from my position at the high school, packed my car and left.”
“You didn’t go to California,” he said with satisfaction.
He felt her smile against his shirtfront. “No. I won’t say I didn’t think about it, but I came to the conclusion that I like myself. It wasn’t my fault my boss was a lecher or that I had a student with the morals of a bull moose.”
He smiled at the return of her feistiness. “You came here instead.”
“Sunshine Springs was just a little dot on the map. I liked the name of the town and so I came. Once I got here, I found a job right away, so I decided to stay.”
“Not as a teacher.”
She grimaced. “No, definitely not as a teacher. But I’m tired of hiding from what might happen. I want to teach again.”
“You still want to teach high school?” he asked, awed by her courage.
“You probably think I’m nuts, but yes. I was a good high-school teacher. I want my dreams back. I want my life back. I’ve let other people, not very nice people, have too much of it as it is.”
The next night, Carlene went looking for Win after she finished tucking the children into bed. She found him down by the stables. He was giving Shorty instructions about one of the pregnant mares.
“Win.”
Both he and Shorty turned toward her at the sound of her voice.
Win smiled. “Hi, honey. What do you need?”
“I need to talk to you. Do you have a minute?”
He nodded. “Sure.”
Turning to Shorty, Win asked, “You got everything covered here?”
“Yeah, boss.”
Win turned and headed toward Carlene and the house.
She watched Shorty go into the building behind Win. “Is Shorty staying the night with the horses?”
Win nodded. “Yeah. One of my mares is ready to foal anytime. He’ll call my beeper if she goes into labor.”
They went through the house and into the courtyard as if by one accord. Win sat on a chair near the fountain. It was next to the table with the ice tea Carlene had set out in anticipation of their talk. She took the chair on the other side of the small table.
Win picked up one of the glasses and took a long swallow. “What did you want to talk about?” he asked.
“Leah.”
His eyes widened. “What about her?”
“When is she coming back, Win?”
He shrugged, as if the answer were of no importance at all. “Soon, I imagine.”
She wasn’t going to let him sidestep this issue. “When is soon? Tomorrow, the next day, next week?”
His eyes narrowed. “Why are you so interested all of a sudden? You tired of taking care of the kids?”
She didn’t like the accusation in his tone. “You know that’s not true, but they miss her. It was very difficult to get them both to sleep tonight, but particularly Shelly. She wants her mom.”
He looked placated by her answer. “Leah needs some space.”
Frustration filled Carlene. “Well, her children need her.”
“Shelly and Jared will be fine.” Win smiled at her. “You’re doing great with them.”
“I’m not their mom, Win, and that’s who they need right now. Leah is going to have to work her problems out with her children around.”
Win’s expression closed. “Leah knows what is best for her kids. She’s a good mother, a better one than she ever had.”
Why wouldn’t he listen to what Carlene was saying? “I did not mean to imply that I thought anything different. I’m simply pointing out that it’s time for Leah to come back.”
Win slammed his ice tea down on the table. Brown liquid sloshed over the sides. “You’re my housekeeper and the kids’ temporary nanny. It’s not up to you to tell me what my sister should or should not do.”
The attack was so unexpected that it left Carlene speechless.
Win’s fury was gone almost as fast as it had come. He reached out and brushed his hand down her arm. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
She jerked away from his touch. “No problem. I was clearly stepping outside the bounds of our employee-employer relationship by expressing my concern for the two children in my care.”
He put his hands on his thighs and blew out a long breath. “I said I was sorry. I know you’re worried about the kids, but you’ve got to trust th
eir mom to know what’s best for them.”
“Why? Did your mom always know what was best for you? Being a parent doesn’t make you infallible.”
She’d learned that lesson very well as a teacher.
Win’s expression turned dangerous. “Leah is nothing like our mother. She cares more for Jared and Shelly than Mom ever cared for us.”
He wasn’t shouting, but the cold fury in his voice was just as intimidating.
Carlene refused to back down. “For the second time, I’m not implying that Leah is a poor mother. I am saying that she needs to get back here and comfort her children.”
“That’s enough.” His hands fisted against his thighs. “Leah will get here when she gets here and until then we will take care of Shelly and Jared. Understood?”
“Can’t we at least contact their father? Maybe Leah’s husband is back from his business trip and would come get the children.”
Win’s glare knifed through her with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel. “Why don’t you just come right out and say it? You’re bored watching the kids and you want a change.”
The injustice of the accusation caught her on the raw. She exploded from her chair and stormed over to Win. She was so angry she was shaking. Leaning over him, she found it difficult to control her trembling limbs. No one had ever made her mad as Win could.
“Listen closely, you stubborn cowboy, because I’ve taken about all the insults I’m going to off of you. I am concerned about Leah’s children. I believe they need their mother. If she won’t make herself available, then we try to find their father. I don’t care if they are used to him being gone for weeks at a time. He’s still their father and having him around will give them more security than they’ve got right now.”
She punctuated the last sentence with jabs to Win’s sternum. The cold fury in Win’s eyes made her nervous and she stepped back, but he didn’t move. He just caught her gaze and held it captive with an intensity that could have been physical.
“We will not call Mark. If my sister says he’s out of town, then that is where he is.”
Carlene couldn’t help trying again. “Maybe he got back early.”
“Forget it.”
“But, Win—”
He cut her off. “I said forget it and I meant it, Carlene. You are my employee. You have nothing to say in the matter and I damn well don’t want to hear anything else on the subject. Leah will be back in a couple of days and then you’ll be free from the burden of watching her children. If you don’t think you can handle it, I’ll find someone else. What’s it to be?”
An iron fist squeezed Carlene’s heart, making it difficult to breathe past the pain. “I’ll watch the children and be your employee, but nothing more.”
She turned and stumbled toward her bedroom, tears clouding her vision. Blinking furiously, she willed herself not to cry until she had reached the relative safety of her room.
She hadn’t reached the inner hallway before strong fingers clamped onto her shoulders from behind, halting her in mid-step. She struggled against his hold. “Let me go!”
“No. I can’t.”
The raw fear in his voice had barely registered when he spun her around and pulled her into a tight embrace against his chest. “I was wrong, honey. You’re more than an employee and we both know it.”
She struggled against the strength of his arms and argued against his shirtfront. “No, we don’t know it. You don’t want my interference and I don’t want you. Let me go, Win.”
He had to release her before she lost it. The pain in her chest was so tight, she could barely breathe. She’d been falling in love with this man and he wanted sex. Nothing more. Not her concern for the children. Not her interference in his life. Nothing, but her body. And she didn’t know how to give only that. If she ever let Win make love to her, she’d give him everything and she knew it.
Frantic to get him to let her go, she swung her foot forward and kicked his shin. “Let me loose.”
He grunted, but his hold didn’t so much as loosen a fraction of an inch. Her toes felt as if they had a run-in with a cement wall.
“Please, Carlene, you’ve got to listen to me.”
She threw her head back so she could glare up into his face. “Like you listened to me?”
“I made a mistake. I’m sorry. Give me a chance to make it right.”
“Why? So you can come to my bed? You don’t really care that you’ve hurt me. You don’t care what I think about your sister, or her children, or how much they’re hurting. You’re just trying to placate me so I’ll let you seduce me, but it’s not going to happen. I’ve been an idiot, but I won’t be one any longer.”
Blue eyes shot fire at her. “No. Damn it. That’s not the way it is.”
“Oh, really?” she asked with as much sarcasm as she could put into the two words. “Then how is it? Are you going to deny that you want me?”
His grip on her tightened. “Hell, no. I want you so much that I spend most of the time when I’m with you damned uncomfortable in my pants, but that isn’t why I apologized.”
“Then why?”
“Because I was wrong. Because I can’t stand hurting you. Because your opinion matters to me and I’m sorry I went ballistic on you. Truly, deeply sorry. Please, honey, don’t walk away from me.”
“Let me go.” She said it quietly, but he listened this time.
He released her with obvious reluctance. “Come back and sit down. Please,” he said again. “We’ll talk this out.”
CHAPTER NINE
CARLENE shook her head. “Talk what out? You’ve already informed me that I have nothing to say in this matter. I can’t imagine what we’ve got to discuss.”
Win surprised her by smiling, though it looked ragged around the edges. “Honey, the day you have nothing to say about something is the day I’ll be rushing you to the emergency room worried about the condition of your vocal cords. Besides, I also said your opinion matters to me.”
“If I say something you don’t like, are you going to yell at me again?” she demanded quietly.
“No,” he put up his hand. “Scouts’ honor.”
Some of the tension drained from her. If he was willing to talk rationally, then she could too. She returned to her seat near the fountain. Win joined her. She waited in silence, sipping at her ice tea. If he thought she was going to reopen the subject after the way he’d shot her down, he didn’t know her very well.
Win took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he turned to her. “I’ve been protecting my baby sister since my mom brought her home from the hospital when I was five years old. I’m a little sensitive when I think someone else is criticizing her, I guess.”
Carlene raised her brows. “You don’t say?”
Win frowned. “Look, I’m trying to explain and I’ve already said I was sorry. Cut me a little slack.”
He’d done more than apologize. He’d begged. She could do as he asked.
“You don’t explain yourself very often, do you?” she asked.
“No. I don’t.” He ran his fingers through his black hair. “What I’m trying to say is that I understand your concerns. I know the kids miss her. It scares the hell out of me that she left them here. I don’t know what’s going on with her and Mark.”
“You’re afraid that she’s like your mother and that’s why you overreacted when I expressed my concern.”
Once she’d said the words, Carlene waited, barely breathing, to see how Win would react to them.
He rubbed a hand across his eyes. “Yes.”
The word was a bare whisper of sound.
“Listen to me, Win. Leah is not your mother. Whatever is going on in her head right now must be pretty devastating, or she wouldn’t have left her children.”
His eyes pleaded with her. “How do you know? You’ve never even met her.”
“Shelly and Jared are too well adjusted and loving for her to be anything but a terrific mother. Win, you do know her and you
know she isn’t like your mom.”
“You’re right, but then what is the point of the things you said earlier?”
She knew her smile was tinged with exasperation. He really didn’t get it. “The point of what I was trying to say is that I think you should tell your sister to come back or call her husband. Shelly and Jared need their parents.”
“I don’t want to call Mark.”
“Why?” she asked.
“I don’t think he knows that Leah left the kids with me. If I call him, it could cause problems in their marriage,” Win said.
“It sounds like there are already problems, or Leah wouldn’t be having the crisis she’s having right now.”
Win nodded. “I know, but if she has some time alone, maybe she’ll get over wanting to leave him. She doesn’t need me calling him and making things worse.”
“You really are afraid that she’s like your mom, aren’t you? Win, you’ve got to accept that if Leah is thinking about leaving Mark, she’s got solid reasons. She’s too committed a parent to divorce him on a whim and I think deep down you know that.”
Win’s expression relaxed a little. “Yes. I do know that. Hell, I don’t even know if she’s thinking about divorce. She just told me she needed some time to think. When I talked to her on the phone the other day, I could tell that she misses the kids as much as they miss her. I don’t know what’s going on.”
Carlene understood Win’s quandary. He didn’t want to cause more ripples in a marriage that might already be on the brink and he was confused by his sister’s behavior. From everything he’d said and the impression Carlene got from others, it was entirely out of character.
“Do you have a phone number for her for emergencies?” she asked Win.
“Yes. She really is a good mother, Carlene.”
“I believe you. She isn’t going to mind you calling her and telling her that her children need her. Maybe that’s something she needs to hear right now.”
He stood up. “You’re right. Guess I’ll go call her before it gets too late.”
Carlene watched him go, her heart aching for the pain both he and Leah were suffering right now. Carlene had no doubt that Leah was just as terrified as Win that she was like their mother.