by Monroe, Lucy
Zoe smiled. “I don’t know Win nearly as well as I know Leah, but I’d say he doesn’t ask for much. I’ll bet it came out more a command.”
Carlene smiled. “You could say that.”
“I didn’t realize that you wanted to quit your job as a bartender,” Zoe said neutrally.
“It didn’t fit anymore.” Carlene thought of her plans, plans that would go up in smoke if she began an affair with Win, and sighed. She wasn’t sure those plans were as important as they once were. When she put them on the scales with a possible future with Win, they didn’t weigh as heavily as she thought they would.
Zoe looked at her curiously. “Do you regret it? I imagine you don’t make near the money as a housekeeper that you did tending bar.”
Carlene smiled wryly. “You’re right, but it pays the bills and, no, I don’t regret quitting. You’re going to find this hard to believe, but working at the Dry Gulch really didn’t fit my temperament.”
Zoe nodded, but didn’t say anything. She relaxed against her chair and took another sip of her drink. “This feels nice. Things have been hectic with Grant making the changes at the ranch and my class’s preparations for the spring program at school.”
Carlene felt a stab of envy at Zoe’s mention of the school program. “Zoe…” She let her words trail off.
Zoe turned her head slightly. “Yes?”
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about Grant. I really didn’t mean to cause any problems for you two.”
Zoe’s look was filled with understanding. “I believe you. I think that Grant really deserves the most credit for the snafu, if you want my opinion.”
“He gave me roses, I assumed he—”
Zoe nodded. “Exactly. A man shouldn’t give flowers to one woman when he wants another.”
The words were so like some that Carlene had said to Grant on the fateful second date that she felt an affinity with Zoe. “Precisely.”
Seconds ticked by as the two women sat in companionable silence.
Carlene took a deep breath and spoke again. “But I still want you to know that if I had realized you and Grant were a couple, I would never have shown up at his house like that.”
Zoe met Carlene’s gaze, her expression intent. “I know that, Carlene. I’ll admit that I didn’t at first, but later I realized that you weren’t trying to hurt me, or Grant.”
“Thank you. You can’t know what a relief that is for me.”
Zoe smiled. “I’m glad.”
Carlene returned the smile, feeling warm. Amazing as it might seem, she believed she was making a new friend.
Win came out of the stable, dog tired, hungry and smelling like a horse. He’d spent the good part of last night and today with not one, but two foaling mares. Then Grant Strickland had come by and he’d had to have Joe give the other rancher the grand tour. But that wasn’t what had him in a dreadful mood and had his insides clenching. It was something Grant had said.
They’d been standing in the stable outside the mare’s stall and Grant had asked, “How is Carlene working out as your housekeeper?”
“Damn fine.”
Grant nodded. “I can see that. To tell the truth, once I got to know her some, I had a hard time seeing her working as a cocktail waitress at the Dry Gulch.”
Win couldn’t see it himself, so he grunted in agreement.
Grant smiled, kind of with a wince. “Wish she’d gotten her job here a few months earlier though.”
“Why’s that?”
“I almost caked it up with Zoe over Carlene and I think I hurt her feelings too.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I asked Carlene out, thinking I could use her to keep my distance from Zoe.”
“She didn’t tell me you two had dated.”
“Don’t know why she would. It wasn’t exactly a big romance. One failed date and one failed seduction attempt.” A look of guilt washed over Grant’s features, as if the man regretted saying what he had.
Win felt his entire body tense. “You tried to seduce Carlene?”
Grant seemed to realize all at once that Win was more interested than an employer should be. “Uh…not exactly. Look, nothing came of it.”
But Win saw something in the other man’s eyes and he asked, “She tried to seduce you?” not believing it, but letting the words come out anyway.
“Forget what I said, Win. Carlene’s a nice woman.”
“Yes, she is. She’s also mine.” So much for being discreet, but he felt a very primitive, undeniable need to stake his claim.
Grant smiled, this time the look one of commiseration. “I get that. I’d build a fence around Zoe if she’d let me.”
Win felt the same way and laughed, but something inside felt wrong. He couldn’t get the thought out of his head that his innocent Carlene had tried to seduce the man in front of him. Another part of his brain denied the possibility vehemently. She would never have gone after Grant like that.
She wasn’t the type and she’d guarded her innocence too damn strictly.
Carlene would have to be in love to give herself to a man and she’d given herself to Win. He had no doubts about her feelings for him.
Any more than he could doubt his feelings for her. Not any longer.
The sound of a vehicle on the drive brought his attention back to the present and he veered away from the back entrance to his house. Walking around the front, he saw Leah’s car come into view.
She pulled up next to Carlene’s stylish compact. Win couldn’t help comparing his sister’s family sedan to Carlene’s bright red sporty coupé. There were a lot of other differences between the two women as well, but not where it counted. They both had integrity and they were both willing to sacrifice for the people they loved. He’d seen Leah do it time and again in her marriage and hadn’t Carlene left her hometown to make life easier on her folks? They had something else in common too.
He loved them.
He’d reached that conclusion about three o’clock this morning as he soothed a hurting mare. He had not meant to love the feisty little brunette keeping house for him, but he didn’t have a choice. After making love to her last night, he couldn’t lie to himself about it either. They hadn’t shared sex; they’d shared themselves. He wanted Carlene, but more importantly, he needed her. She brought sunshine into his life, as well as a passion he wanted to grow old with.
She wasn’t anything like his mother. No more than Leah was. Carlene wouldn’t grow bored with him and just move on. And unlike Rachel, Carlene wanted the same life that he did. A settled life, right here in Sunshine Springs.
Leah got out of her car. She looked exactly as Win had felt walking out of the stable a few minutes ago. Pain lanced through him at the knowledge that she’d gotten to that point because of her emotional turmoil, not something as simple as a birthing mare.
“How you holding up, baby-girl?” he asked, using the childhood nickname.
Her eyes filled with tears and she rushed into his arms. He closed them around her, wishing he could protect her with his love and strength, but knowing that this time all he could do was be there for her.
She didn’t say anything. She just held on and cried for about five minutes. Finally, the storm of weeping passed. She pulled back from his arms. “I suppose you want an explanation?”
He shook his head. “No. I just want you to be happy.”
She gave a small, watery smile. “Thank you. I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it to anyone just yet.”
He understood. Sometimes things needed to settle before you could talk them out. “You ready to see the kids now?”
Her eyes lit up. “I’m dying to see them. I don’t know what I was thinking, leaving them behind while I tried to figure out my future. They are my future and any decisions I make have to include their well-being.”
Win’s heart warmed at her words. He put his hand out and she placed hers in it. “Come on. I know two little kids that are gonna be real
happy to see you. I want you to meet my new housekeeper, too. She’s been helping me take care of the kids.”
Leah stayed close as he led her into the house, her excitement at the prospect of seeing Shelly and Jared a palpable presence in the air around them. “What’s her name? Maybe I know her.”
“Carlene Daniels, but that may change soon.”
He couldn’t believe he was thinking about getting married again. After spending the night mulling over his newfound love and Carlene’s request for him to define their relationship, he’d realized the only definition he’d been comfortable with had been one that included commitment. Permanent commitment.
He wondered how she’d react to the news. Probably totally differently than he expected. The woman was not exactly predictable.
Leah stopped dead still. “Who?”
“Carlene Daniels.”
“The woman who used to be a bartender at the Dry Gulch?”
“Yes, but she’s mine now.”
Leah’s eyes widened. “Yours?”
“My housekeeper.” Other claims could wait until Carlene understood what they were.
“Oh, wow. And she’s watching the kids?”
“Yeah. She did real good with them too.”
“I…um…I wouldn’t have expected that.”
“You know Carlene?”
“Not personally, no. I just…I’ve heard of her. From Zoe.”
“What did you hear?”
“Nothing important.”
Leah tried to walk away, but Win wasn’t letting her. He hugged her to him, refusing to go anywhere. “What do you know about Carlene?”
“Just she and Grant had a thing.”
“One date and a failed seduction hardly makes a ‘thing’,” he said, borrowing Grant’s words from earlier.
“So, you do know about it?” She laughed. “I guess Carlene is a lot less racy than I was led to believe if you’ve got her watching my children. I know how protective you are.”
“Carlene is as far from racy as it’s possible to get.” The woman had been a virgin until last night.
“Her attempt at seduction must have been a onetime deal. She must have really been taken with Grant, I mean…” Leah’s words trailed off as she realized she said too much. “I mean obviously it wasn’t a big romance or anything.”
But Win wasn’t listening.
He was picturing Carlene with Grant and it was making him sick. “Let’s go see the kids,” he managed to force out.
Damn…after everything, was Carlene like his mom and Rachel after all?
He led Leah into the kitchen, then stopped and stared. Carlene sat in the middle of the floor, surrounded by dry pasta of every shape and size. Shelly and Jared perched beside her. It was Shelly wearing the apron this time.
She looked up and grinned. “Hi, Uncle Win. Me and Jared wanted to make sgetti.”
“I’s making noodles,” chimed in Jared.
Carlene looked up at Win, her rueful smile and innocent eyes belying his sister’s accusations. He saw knowledge of what they’d shared last night there too and it made him want to grab her and kiss her, ignoring his worries about what Grant had been to her. “I walked in here after putting a load of laundry in the washer and found Jared and Shelly practically buried beneath the pile of pasta. Defeated by their superior wit and speed, I decided to join them.”
He felt himself smile in response to her teasing.
Leah laughed out loud. “Oh, you little hooligans!”
Before he could formally introduce Carlene and Leah, exuberant whoops sounded and the kids launched themselves off the floor and at their mother. Leah dropped to her knees and gathered her children to her. She hugged them fiercely, whispering silly words of love and how much she had missed them.
Shelly pulled back from her mother’s arms. “Mama.”
Leah smiled. “Yes, dolly-girl?”
“I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” Tears streaked down Leah’s face, but she was all smiles as the kids dragged her to the courtyard to show her their toy sailboats in the fountain.
Carlene pulled out the broom and started sweeping up the pasta mess on the floor. “Your sister seems happy to be back with her children.”
“She is, almost as happy as I’m going to be getting you all to myself again.”
Carlene blushed. “Me too.”
He pulled her to him for a quick, but hard kiss.
She smiled, looking a little dazed as she went back to sweeping. “I could get used to that.”
“Me kissing you?”
“In the kitchen…just like a normal couple.”
“We are a couple, honey.”
“Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“So, that’s how you decided to define our relationship, the one that falls somewhere between a one-night stand and marriage.”
Win grimaced, but Carlene didn’t see it. Her attention was focused on the dry noodles she was trying to sweep together into a manageable pile. But he wasn’t ready to discuss the life-altering decisions he’d made in the stable.
So, even though he knew it was not the right time to be talking about this, he asked baldly, “Did you try to seduce Grant Strickland?”
He didn’t need Carlene to answer him. Her look said it all. She turned pale as milk and her lips trembled. She looked guilty as hell.
Indescribable pain lanced through Win. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“I can’t.”
He spun away and stormed out of the kitchen. He had to get away from her before he said or did something he’d regret until his dying day.
She’d loved another man enough to try to seduce him, but she’d made Win beg. The fact that she had given in and let him make love to her last night only seemed to make it worse, not better. He’d thought it was something better than he’d ever known, but if the evidence before him was any indication, she was more a master game player than Rachel had ever been.
Carlene had made him beg.
Carlene moved around her bedroom, packing her things. Leah was here now. There was no reason for the housekeeper to continue staying at Win’s ranch. If he’d wanted her to stay, he would have said something. Apparently what they had between them—being a couple—didn’t extend to the commitment of living together, or trust. As she folded the top she’d worn the night Win took her and the children out for ice cream she considered Win’s reaction to her admission regarding Grant.
He’d just walked away. There had been no opportunity to explain, no chance to tell him she was sorry. Though why she should apologize to him for something that happened before they even met stymied her. It wasn’t as if she expected him to apologize for marrying Rachel.
Win had taken Leah and her children into town for an early dinner and been avoiding Carlene ever since. That said it all, didn’t it?
How had he known about Grant? Had the other man told Win? Or had Leah said something? After all, she and Zoe were friends. If that were the case, Carlene wondered who else Zoe had told. Was the tale of her botched attempt at seduction all over town? Carlene wished that Zoe had warned her, but she realized that was a foolish expectation.
Zoe was a really nice woman. If she’d told Leah, she wouldn’t have expected the story to spread. Probably more than most people, Carlene understood how gossip worked. Even people who cared about you, like her parents, could do their share in spreading rumor and innuendo. Silence wasn’t always golden and the truth could be taken out of context.
She pulled a pair of jeans from the closet and folded them before placing them neatly into the rapidly filling suitcase. She wasn’t going to cry. There was still a chance for her with Win. It wasn’t as if she’d demanded marriage from him. Surely, he wouldn’t balk at being her lover because of the thing with Grant.
He just needed to cool down a little. She’d seen his possessiveness. He had a streak of it about a mile wide. He’d fired a stable hand he needed very badly simply because Lonny’d mad
e a pass at her. He would get over his anger about Grant though. He had to. She didn’t think her heart would survive if Win rejected her completely.
When she was finished packing, she carried her suitcase out to her car. Win was waiting, framed by the open front door, when she turned around to go back inside.
“Leaving?”
The covered entryway threw his face into shadow and she couldn’t read his expression.
“Now that Leah’s here, there’s no reason for me to stay the night.”
He didn’t say anything and she couldn’t stand the distance between them. Not the emotional or the mental one. She stepped forward until she could see his face, until she was close enough to reach out and touch him. His eyes were expressionless.
She put her hand out, touching his arm—feeling the heat of his skin like a brand on her palm. “Win, we need to talk.”
“Later, not now.”
A lead weight settled where her heart had once been. “When?”
“I don’t know. This just isn’t working.” He sounded so tired, as lost as she felt.
“What isn’t working? Our affair? You’re saying that you don’t want me anymore because of what didn’t happen with Grant Strickland?”
Win’s eyes mirrored the pain she felt, but then his gaze turned hard. “I still want you.” He raked her body with his eyes. “But that’ll pass once you leave.”
The words stung. Did he realize he could have slapped her and it wouldn’t have hurt any more? He was making it sound as if she were just a body to him and she knew she was more. She had to be more. “Do you really think you can forget me so easily?”
For a brief moment the stoicism vanished and she saw her answer. Fear and pain mirrored in his eyes, but there was also anger. “I believe I have to try. Rachel did a number on me, but she had nothing on you.”
“You don’t mean that.”
His stoicism cracked and he glared as if he hated her. “You tried to seduce another man, but you made me beg.”
“It wasn’t like that.
“I was lonely…depressed…I missed my real life. Grant came along and I don’t know…I guess I thought we could have something. Something more than nights spent fending off advances from drunks and carding teenagers trying to buy beer on a dare.”