by Amy Clipston
“It’s a little much, isn’t it?”
“If we eat all that, we won’t be hungry again for a week.”
Phoebe smiled. “No, I suppose not. I always try to pack what my family calls a basket of sunshine, but I guess I overdid it. It’s no wonder Ray complained it was heavy when he carried it for me.”
“His arm must be sore.”
Phoebe’s eyes locked with Kevin’s, and they both started to laugh. The awkwardness between them dissipated, and she felt as if they were friends. After all, he was sitting on the quilt with her, not playing volleyball with Ray.
“The cheese and crackers look gut. May I have a few?” he asked.
“Of course.” She retrieved two bottles of water, a paper plate, and a few napkins from the basket before setting out the crackers, a cheese ball, and a knife. Soon they were spreading cheese on crackers and eating them.
“How was the rest of your day at the booth on Friday?” he asked.
“Busy. We were closed yesterday for the holiday, but we’d sold out of all our goods on Friday anyway.”
“You said before that you work at the booth whenever it’s busy. How often is that? Only around holidays? Christiana said you have downtimes.”
“It just depends. But lately Christiana’s booth has been busier in general, and I’m always committed to helping her when she needs me.” She brushed some cracker crumbs from her apron. “I’m sorry mei schweschder pressured you to come today. I didn’t put her up to that. In fact, I had no idea she was going to mention this gathering to you.” She hoped her face wouldn’t reveal her humiliation.
He swallowed another cracker, and then he wiped his fingers on a napkin. “I’m glad she mentioned it.”
“You are?”
He nodded. “Then I ran into Ray at the hardware store yesterday, and he invited me too. Mei freind Ben was with me, and he told me I need to get out more. So here I am.”
She smiled, but disappointment still nipped at her. He hadn’t come specifically to see her. She pushed the thought away.
“Christiana is seven years older than you, right?”
“That’s right.”
“How do you like having only one sibling who’s that much older than you?”
She tilted her head and contemplated the question. “No one has ever asked me that before.”
“It’s something we have in common.” He crossed his legs and leaned back on his palms as he looked at her. “I think I told you Dathan is eight years older than me, and most of mei freinden have several siblings who range in age from two years to ten years older or younger. You’re my first freind who has just one sibling who’s several years older.”
Joy blossomed inside her. He considers me a freind! She was so surprised that she couldn’t respond for a moment.
“I suppose that was a dumb question. I’m sorry. Forget I asked it.” He reached for another cracker.
“No, no. I was thinking about how to respond. I guess . . . Well, it’s great at times, but it’s also bad at times.”
“What do you mean?” He sat up and looked eager for her to continue.
“Sometimes I feel like Christiana’s my second mamm. It’s helpful when I need advice, but it’s annoying when she tries to discipline me.”
“Exactly.” He held up his bottle of water. “I’ve actually reminded Dathan he’s mei bruder and not mei dat.” He grimaced. “But then I feel bad when he reminds me that he pretty much raised me.”
“Losing both your parents when you were so young had to be difficult.”
“Ya, it was. I’m grateful Dathan was so patient with me. I don’t know what I’d have done without him.” He bent one of his knees and rested both arms on it.
“How are your niece and nephew?”
He grinned. “They’re narrisch.”
“Why are they crazy?” she asked with a laugh.
“They crack me up. This morning Tommy announced he wanted to hitch a cow to the buggy instead of a horse to see if it would go any faster.”
Phoebe laughed, and Kevin joined in.
“Tommy sounds like he’s a lot of fun.”
“He is. We never know what he’ll do next. And Hannalyn is a great helper. She’s always helping her mamm with chores or playing with Tommy to keep him busy so Rachelle can finish up a project.” He picked up another cracker, spread some cheese on it, and handed it to Phoebe. “You look hungry.”
“Do I?” She laughed. “Danki.” Then she took a bite.
“Gern gschehne.” He made one for himself and then ate it while looking toward the volleyball courts.
“Do you like to play?” Phoebe asked.
He met her gaze and shrugged. “I guess so.”
“Do you play often with your own youth group?”
“I haven’t been to one of my youth group meetings in about a year.”
“Why?”
“I guess I felt like I’d outgrown it,” he said after a moment’s hesitation. Then he looked around the park. “I bet I’m the oldest one here.”
Phoebe blinked and leaned toward him. “Is that what was bothering you at the last youth gathering? You felt too old to be there?”
He gave a half-shrug and then picked up another cracker and began spreading cheese on it.
Relief flooded her. Maybe she hadn’t done anything to push him away!
“Kevin, some members here are twenty, and a few are twenty-one. They just like to take a break after working hard all week. You’re not too old to be here.”
He seemed to consider her comment as he looked around the park again. Then he looked at her. “Would you like to play some volleyball to work off the cheese and crackers?”
“That sounds like fun.” Phoebe packed up the food and stowed it in the picnic basket. Then as they walked toward the volleyball courts, she couldn’t help wondering if Kevin would ever want to be more than friends.
* * *
Kevin sidled up to Phoebe when the last volleyball game came to a close. The cooling air filled his lungs as lightning bugs dotted the air around them like miniature fireworks. “Would you like a ride home?”
She looked up at him, and her blue eyes seemed to glitter in the light of the pink streaks stretching across the sky. “Isn’t mei haus out of your way from here?”
“Not at all.” In truth, her house was a little out of the way, and he’d had no intention of offering her a ride when he arrived. But neither had he intended to spend the whole afternoon in her company. First, he’d quickly succumbed to the temptation to join her on that quilt, and then he’d let himself enjoy laughing and joking beside her as they played volleyball all afternoon. Now he didn’t want their time together to end. Sitting beside her in his buggy would give him more time to memorize the sound of her voice and take in the sweet scent of her shampoo.
He wasn’t doing a good job of following through with his plan.
“Gut game.” Ray came up beside Kevin and gave him a high five. “But I still serve better than you do.”
Kevin laughed.
“Will you join us again?” Ray asked.
“I hope to.” Kevin glanced at Phoebe, and she blessed him with one of her pretty smiles.
He helped her gather her basket and quilt, and then they loaded his buggy before saying good-bye to her friends.
Soon they were riding toward the main road. When he gave her a sideways glance, she was leaning back in the seat beside him and cupping her hand to her mouth to cover a yawn.
“Did the volleyball games wear you out today?” he asked.
“Ya, I think so.” She let her head drop back on the seat. “I don’t know how you’re still standing. You’re the one who was jumping up in the air to return the ball. You looked like a pro out there.”
He sat up a little taller. “I just like to take advantage of my height.”
“Is Dathan tall too?”
“Ya.” He nodded. “We’re the same height. I’ve been told there’s a strong family resemblance.”
He halted the horse at a light and turned toward her. “I can see it in the shape of your faces and your smiles, but you’re right that your hair and eyes are different.” An image of Phoebe having supper with his family filled his mind and caused him to smile. “You’ll have to meet my family. Then you can tell me if you think Dathan and I look alike.”
“I’d like that.”
Their gazes locked, and his heart raced.
What was he doing? Why was he allowing himself to get close to her? Freeman’s words returned to him: I’d prefer you stay away from her.
A car horn beeped behind him, and he guided the horse through the intersection. They talked about games they liked to play other than volleyball until they turned onto the road leading to her house.
“I had a great time today,” she said as the horse clip-clopped up her driveway.
“I did too.” He halted the horse and then turned toward her. “Danki again for inviting me.”
“I didn’t invite you. Christiana did.” Phoebe gave him a mischievous grin as she lifted her picnic basket and quilt. “Be safe going home.”
“I will. Gut nacht.” Kevin waited for her to make her way to the porch steps, and then he steered the horse down the driveway.
A flash of lightning lit the sky, and the smell of rain filled the buggy as Kevin guided the horse toward his brother’s house. A sudden sense of foreboding rolled over him as he thought about how comfortable he felt with Phoebe. He was falling for her, and the realization sent a mixture of fear and worry crashing through him.
If he did pursue a relationship with Phoebe, what if it didn’t work out? What if she turned out just like Mary and wanted to move too fast toward marriage? He didn’t want to break her heart, and he didn’t want her to break his.
He also didn’t want to lose Freeman’s trust. Wasn’t his career worth more to him than taking a chance with Phoebe?
But he’d had a wonderful time.
Chapter 6
Phoebe hugged her quilt and picnic basket to her chest as she headed up the path toward the porch. Her face felt sore from smiling, and the scent of rain tickled her nose as a flash of lightning skittered above her. She didn’t care if it rained. Nothing could ruin this perfect day spent with Kevin and her friends.
Kevin.
She sighed as she recalled his attractive smile and boisterous laugh as they talked, played volleyball, and teased each other all afternoon. He was funny, thoughtful, sweet, handsome, and courteous. He would be the perfect boyfriend, if only he would ask her to—
“Phoebe Kate.”
Phoebe’s head snapped up to the porch, toward her father’s voice. Her stomach lurched when she spotted both her parents sitting on the rocking chairs, watching her intently. She licked her lips and stood up straight as a mist of rain kissed her cheeks.
“I didn’t see you.” She picked up her pace and climbed the steps.
“Who brought you home?” Dat’s voice was stern as if she’d just been caught stealing from a store in town.
“Kevin did.”
“Kevin Weaver?”
“Ya, Dat,” she said as the drizzle picked up and rain began to tap on the porch roof.
“Why was he the one to bring you home?”
“He came to the youth gathering. Remember? Christiana invited him? We played volleyball, and then he offered me a ride.”
Dat’s expression seemed to fill with concern. “I doubted he would come. For one thing, he’s a bit older than you. Just be careful with your heart. I’d hate to see you get hurt. I’m not sure he’s serious about dating, so it might be best for you to stay away from him.”
“We’re not dating.” Phoebe worked to keep her tone even despite the anxiety pulsing through her veins. “We’re just freinden.” I’m not even sure he wants to date me!
Dat nodded, apparently with relief. “That’s much safer.”
Phoebe nodded back, but with disappointment and doubt. Should she heed her father’s warning? Would Kevin hurt her? “I’m going to take a shower.”
“Gut nacht,” Dat said. Mamm had said nothing, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t come to believe the same thing about Kevin. Maybe she had.
Phoebe stepped into the house and stowed her snacks and picnic basket in the pantry before depositing her quilt in the laundry room. Her eyes burned as hope began to crumble. Maybe Kevin was too old for her. Maybe she was pinning her hope on the wrong man, a man who wasn’t ready for a commitment to a woman.
Confusion filled her as she made her way up the stairs to her room. Earlier today, she’d been almost certain she and Kevin would be a couple, but now Dat’s concern had burst her happy bubble.
She needed advice. She needed someone to listen while she poured out the confusion that had seeped into her heart. She needed her sister.
She slowed to a stop in front of Christiana’s closed door and raised her hand to knock. Then she let her hand fall to her side. She didn’t want to burden Christiana with her problems. She had to figure this out for herself.
Phoebe stepped into her room and sank onto the edge of her bed. Then she hugged her arms to her waist and opened her heart to God.
God, I care for Kevin, and I think he cares for me too. But Dat seems to think Kevin is wrong for me. Only you can help us find a way to make it work if you choose for us to be together. Please lead our hearts to a solution.
She flopped back onto the bed and listened to the rain pound the roof, confusion still swirling through her like a tornado.
* * *
“You must have had a gut time if you stayed out this late.”
Kevin jumped with a start as he turned away from the horse stall and found Dathan standing by the entrance to the barn. Rain beat a steady cadence on the roof above them. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
Dathan joined him. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. How was the youth gathering?”
“It was great.” Kevin couldn’t stop a smile, making it impossible to hide his true feelings. “I had a wunderbaar time.”
Dathan’s eyebrow shot up. “What’s her name?”
Kevin leaned back against the horse stall. “It’s Phoebe.”
“The maedel you said is too young for you?”
“Ya. I think I was wrong. We had a great talk today, and then we had a lot of fun with her freinden.” His shoulders slumped. “But she’s still my boss’s dochder, and that’s the real problem.”
“Why?”
“He warned me not to hurt her.”
Dathan’s eyes rounded. “When?”
Kevin told him. “He made it clear I shouldn’t get close to her if I’m not ready for a commitment.” His chest tightened as he recalled Phoebe’s sweet laugh and gorgeous smile. “She’s amazing, Dathan. I really like her. I could see myself falling for her. In fact, I think I already am.”
“That means you have an important decision to make. You need to decide if dating Phoebe is worth risking your new career with Freeman’s company.”
Kevin cupped his hand to the back of his neck as his mind spun. Dathan was echoing what Kevin had come to realize on his way home. Freeman told him he had a future with the company, and that future meant the financial freedom he craved. But again, what if he and Phoebe started dating and then broke up? He’d be left working on the dairy farm and with no home of his own, and that wasn’t his dream. Dread wrapped around his chest, pushing his breath out in a rush.
Dathan snorted. “Kev, talk to me. You look like you’re either trying to solve a puzzle or going to be sick.”
“I think it’s a little of both.” Kevin rubbed at the tension in his neck. “How do I know if I’m making the right decision? I don’t want to risk losing my future with Freeman’s business, but I also want to see where this friendship with Phoebe could lead.”
“You said you enjoy brick work and that the pay is gut.�
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“That’s true. I can pay you rent, and I have money in savings. I should be able to build a haus in a year or two.”
“And building that haus is what you’ve talked about ever since you were sixteen years old. You’ve always said you wanted to build it on the other side of the pasture.” Dathan pointed in that direction. “I think you know in your heart that you don’t want to let that dream go.”
Kevin’s mouth dried as he shook his head. “I don’t. I want my own place. Then you and Rachelle can enjoy the haus and raise your family without me in the way.”
Dathan sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’ve told you more than a hundred times. You’re not in our way. You’re family, but that’s beside the point. You just told me your answer. You want a haus. Everything else will work out as it should. Freeman has already warned you to stay away from his dochder if you can’t commit to a relationship right now, so just concentrate on being the best employee you can be for him. Learn everything there is to know about being a brick mason, and don’t think about Phoebe. Keep working hard and saving money to build that haus. Then if you’re meant to be with Phoebe, God will find a way to work it out for you both—in his time.”
Kevin nodded, but the knot under his ribs tightened into a hard rock. If the answer was so simple, why did it hurt so much to think about staying away from Phoebe?
“No matter what, trust God to lead you to the right path.” Dathan patted his shoulder. “It’s late. We should get inside.”
As the two men walked into the pouring rain, Kevin couldn’t help but feel he’d just made the decision he’d needed to make yet had left a piece of his heart with the sweet and kind Phoebe Kurtz.
* * *
Phoebe and Suzanna slipped into the Esh family’s barn. It was an off Sunday without a service in their church district, and Phoebe’s mother had suggested they visit the service in her cousin’s district.
“I’m so glad your mamm asked my family to come here today too,” Suzanna said.
Phoebe nodded, bouncing the ties on her prayer covering on her shoulders. “I’m froh you could all come.”
Phoebe sat down between her sister and Suzanna in the back row of the unmarried women’s section and then glanced at the unmarried men. She pressed her lips together. She hadn’t seen Kevin for two weeks, and despite her father’s advice to stay away from him, memories of their fun time at the picnic had teased her. She just couldn’t erase that day’s images from her mind.