by Amy Clipston
Forgetting about her insecurity, Nina sat down in the chair across from her. “Is something wrong?”
“Not really.” Margaret looked down at her lap. “I feel a little silly talking about this, but I can’t help it.” Her gaze met Nina’s. “You know mei onkel is having a singing this Sunday, ya?”
Nina nodded, feeling the same pinch in her heart she’d felt when she’d heard about the singing after last Sunday’s church service. The singing Ira didn’t invite her to. “Ya, but I don’t plan on going.”
“Oh. I thought you might.”
Nina shook her head. “I don’t care too much for singings.” Which was true, but that wasn’t the real reason she wasn’t going. She hoped Ira hadn’t told Margaret what she’d admitted to him after she ran away from the pond.
“I think they’re great fun. But, well, I told mei aenti I came to visit Birch Creek to spend time with the family—and that’s true—but I also came for another reason, one I haven’t shared with anyone. Not even her.” She looked a little sheepish. “A few months ago, Aenti Mary wrote to mei mudder about all the single men in this community.”
“Ah,” Nina said, understanding dawning. “And you wanted to see that for yerself.”
Margaret nodded. “I’ve known everyone in mei district since I was a kinn, and I’m not interested in any men there. I thought maybe if I met someone new . . .” She let out a small laugh. “The singing on Sunday is the perfect opportunity.”
“It is,” Nina said in agreement.
“But now that it’s almost here, I’m not so sure. I know girls a few years younger than me will be there, but I really want someone there who’s mei age.” She looked at Nina squarely. “Would you meet me there, so I won’t feel so alone?”
Nina paused. Margaret really had no idea what she was asking. Ira would certainly be there, and that would put an end to her plan to avoid him as long as possible. She also wasn’t sure she had the energy to witness all the single young men in Birch Creek fawn over Margaret.
“Please?” Margaret said. “I know it’s a strange favor to ask, especially since we don’t know each other well. But it would mean so much to me if you would.”
Great. How could Nina turn Margaret down when she knew how important this was to her? “All right,” Nina said, her stomach churning at the idea already.
Margaret grinned. “Oh, danki, Nina. I really appreciate it. And if there’s ever anything I can do for you, just let me know.”
Nina couldn’t help but smile back. Margaret did seem like a genuinely sweet girl. Although it wouldn’t be easy for Nina to do this, it made her feel better to be helping someone. “What time does it start?”
“At five thirty, but how about coming a bit early? That way we can get ready together.”
She nodded but wondered what Margaret meant by “getting ready.” For every singing Nina had been to, she just threw on a dress and made sure her kapp was clean. “Okay,” she said.
Margaret got up from the couch and moved toward the door. “This is going to be so much fun!”
After Nina told her good-bye, she shut the front door and leaned against it. Fun—something she was certain Sunday’s singing would never be.
* * *
Ira paced the length of his bedroom as he waited for the singing to start. His mother and sisters had already shooed him from the basement as they were setting up tables with food and drink—twice. They said they had everything under control and didn’t need help. It wasn’t as if he was going to filch some of the chips and dip Ivy brought, although he’d done that at past singings. But he’d also been a lot younger. Still, he needed something to do or he would go ab im kopp.
He looked in the mirror over his dresser and smoothed down his hair. Margaret had told him about her talk with Nina, which had been her idea. Asking Nina to be here tonight ensured Ira would get a chance to talk to her, and he planned to talk to her alone. That made him a bit nervous, but tonight would be the perfect time to set their relationship back on track. He just wasn’t sure how he was going to do that.
Deciding he couldn’t stay cooped up in his room, he went downstairs. When his foot landed on the last step, he heard a knock on the door. He opened it to find Nina standing there. For some inexplicable reason, his pulse started to race, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her as he swung open the screen door. “Is that a new dress?”
Her cheeks turned red. “Um, ya.”
“It looks . . . nice.”
“Better than mei old tight ones, ya?” She muttered the words as she looked away. “Is Margaret here?”
“Ya,” Margaret said from behind Ira.
He turned around. He hadn’t heard his cousin arrive. She moved past him and threaded her arm through Nina’s. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Sorry I’m late. A water pipe burst in one of the guest rooms this afternoon, and it was a big clean-up job.”
“That’s all right. Let’s geh upstairs to mei room.”
The two women glided by him and started up the stairs before Ira could blink. Too-tight dresses? What did Nina mean by that? He always thought her dresses looked fine. Besides, it wasn’t her dress that caught his eye. He said that only because he couldn’t say what he’d really noticed—her rosy cheeks, her soft brown eyes with long, thick lashes, and her perfect nose that had a touch of sunburn. She was the same Nina, but for a reason he couldn’t fathom, she seemed different to him tonight.
He gave his head a quick shake. He couldn’t take his focus off his goal—to get things back to how they’d always been between them. That was what mattered, not how pretty Nina was or how his pulse was still thrumming. Nina would realize their friendship was the important thing, not any romantic thoughts she had about him. She’d get over those. Maybe she already had.
“Why are you standing there with the door open?” Zeke Bontrager—his twin brother, Zeb, trailing behind him—walked past him and into the house. Several of Zeke’s brothers followed, each of them telling him hello and heading straight for the basement.
Once they were all inside, he shut the door and glanced at the stairs. What was taking them so long? He waited a few more minutes for the two women to come down so Margaret could leave him and Nina alone. But when they didn’t appear, he went to the basement. He would wait for Nina there, and then they would talk.
* * *
“You have such pretty eyebrows.”
Nina blinked as Margaret took a tiny rounded brush and ran it over one of her eyebrows and then the other. She had always thought they looked like giant caterpillars above her eyes. It was nice to get a compliment on them by someone as pretty as Margaret.
“I know I probably shouldn’t have this,” she said, slipping the brush back into a tiny black bag. “It’s an old mascara brush I cleaned up, left over from mei rumspringa. But it comes in handy sometimes.” She chuckled. “Sometimes I run it over my eyelashes, just for fun. It reminds me of when I used to wear makeup.”
“You wore makeup?”
“Before joining the church.” She put the bag on her dresser. “There. We look presentable. Are you ready to geh downstairs?”
Nina nodded. She had seen Ira and had survived the encounter. Yes, she was being overly dramatic, but the result was the same—she could be around him without dissolving into a puddle of tears, or anxiety, or whatever. And as long as she stuck to Margaret like a bee on honey, she would continue to survive. That’s all she was hoping for—survival.
They went down to the basement, where the group was already singing. Although according to what she’d heard, more females were there than in years past, many of them were barely old enough to attend a singing. That was fine for the younger boys, like Judah and some of the Bontrager brothers, but a problem for the older young men.
She and Margaret took their places with the other women, well away from the men, and Nina started to softly sing. She made sure she could barely be heard, which was best for everyone concerned. She also avoided looking at Ira. When they too
k a break from singing, she and Margaret made their way to the refreshment table, and several young men followed them. Or at least they were following Margaret, which wasn’t surprising.
“Hey, Nina.”
She turned around to see Zeb holding two cups of apple cider.
“Hey, Zeb.” He was a nice guy, on the quiet side, and different from his twin, Zeke.
“Would you like a drink?” He held out one of the cups. “I’ve already tried the cider. It’s really gut. And it’s cold.”
“Danki.” She accepted the cup and took a sip. “You’re right. It is delicious.”
“Phoebe made it,” Zeb said, referring to his sister, who was the oldest and only female among the Bontrager siblings.
“Then I’m not surprised it’s gut.”
Zeb glanced down at his feet, a lock of his sandy-brown hair falling over his forehead. “I, uh, wondered if you have a ride home tonight.”
Nina’s brow shot up. Zeb was asking to take her home? That usually meant . . . Oh boy. She couldn’t believe it. Zeb Bontrager was interested in her.
His cheeks grew red. “If you do, that’s fine. I just didn’t want you to walk home by yerself.”
She had to smile. He had a sweet if oafish way about him, and she was flattered. “That’s very nice of you, Zeb, but I don’t want you to geh to any trouble.”
“It’s nee trouble.” He smiled back. “I don’t mind taking you home.”
“You’re not taking her home.”
Nina and Zeb both looked at Ira, who had appeared out of nowhere. He suddenly took Nina by the arm and practically dragged her away from Zeb and to the basement’s back door.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Nina said, looking at Ira’s hand on her arm.
He let go. “I was about to ask you the same thing. How can you consider going home with Zeb?”
“I never said I was.” Nina scowled, wondering why Ira would ever consider Zeb a problem. Did he know something about him she didn’t? Or was he just interfering for some reason that made no sense? Either way, how dare he manhandle her?
“But if I do geh home with him,” she said, “it’s not yer business.”
Ira scoffed. “Oh ya, it is.”
“Since when?”
“Since . . . since . . .”
Nina lifted her chin. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to enjoy the rest of the singing.” She turned and went back to Margaret, who held several of the Bontrager boys’ rapt attention, even the ones too young for her. Zeb was listening just as attentively when Nina stopped beside him. “I’d like that ride home,” she told him, and then she turned and glared at Ira. If she needed a reason to forget about him, he’d just given her one.
Chapter 7
The next morning, Nina weeded the flower bed in front of the house after she’d worked on the two circling the large trees in the yard. She mounded dirt around a poor little begonia that was wilting even though it was surrounded by healthy plants. “I understand yer pain, little flower.”
She was still so upset, angry, and hurt. How dare Ira drag her away from everyone like that? Even Margaret had looked shocked at his behavior.
Whatever Ira’s problem was with Zeb, it didn’t matter. It turned out Zeb was just being a friend. He didn’t ask her out on a date or hint at anything other than what he’d told her—he didn’t want her walking home alone. That was a relief, because she wouldn’t have accepted a date if he’d asked for one.
When she said good-bye to Margaret, who hadn’t seemed the least bit wary about being in a room full of attentive men, she made sure not to give Ira a single glance. She didn’t want him to know he’d upset her. But that didn’t mean she could just shut off her feelings for him.
She was about finished with the flower bed when she heard a buggy pull into the driveway. She turned to see who it was, and her heart both sank and broke into a rapid rhythm. Ira.
He pulled up to the hitching post Levi installed, and then he got out and tied his horse to the post. She couldn’t keep her eyes off him. Even after what happened last night, she couldn’t help being attracted to him. When he turned, she ducked her head and started yanking at weeds. Only when she looked at the bunch in her hand did she realize she’d pulled up three pink begonias, all healthy. “Oh nee,” she said before she quickly started replanting them.
“Nina.” Ira’s strong voice rang out.
She ignored him, her hands shaking as she patted dirt around the crooked blooms.
“Are you going to avoid me forever?”
He sounded annoyed. Almost angry, which made her look up at him. He was tanned from working on the farm, and she had to force her gaze to stay on his face and not drift to his arms, remembering how they’d felt around her when he helped her reel in the sunfish. Too late. She ducked her head and threw a handful of dirt on top of the begonias. “I’m not ignoring you.”
“I’m pretty familiar with the way you avoid me by now, so ya, you are.” He blew out a breath, and when she didn’t look at him, he crouched beside her. Very close beside her. “What are you doing to that poor plant?”
“None of yer business.” She shot up from the ground, tipping over the bucket where she’d been collecting the weeds. He had a lot of nerve showing up here after the way he treated her last night, and she wanted to tell him just that. But cold feet won out, and she dashed off. She couldn’t believe she was running away from him again, but she couldn’t help herself.
She stalked to the back of the barn and leaned against its wall. Glancing at the patio at the back of the inn, she was glad none of the guests were there. Nina wished Ira would realize that she’d meant what she said about them not seeing each other anymore. When he didn’t appear, she thought her wish had been granted.
* * *
Ira had followed Nina to the barn but held back when he saw her go around it. Why was she running away from him? How were they going to settle this tension between them if she didn’t want to be around him?
Then again, he couldn’t exactly blame her. He’d acted like a fool last night, but when he saw Zeb talking to her, something inside turned ugly with envy. And then when Zeb offered her a ride home, he’d lost his senses. He was pretty sure Zeb wasn’t romantically interested in her, but just the idea of it propelled him to separate the two of them.
Then he’d been unable to tell Nina what he’d finally realized he felt for her. He still didn’t understand his emotions, but he was ready to admit them, and he had to talk to her again. He needed to work things out with her.
He needed her.
He slipped around to the back of the barn and saw her there, her head down, her shoulders slumped. She wasn’t angry with him as much as she was hurting. He could see that now, and he had to do something to stop it. He approached her slowly, as if she were a scared kitten. “Nina,” he said softly.
“Leave me alone,” she said, her voice so low that it was almost lost amid the summer breeze fluttering the leaves and tall grasses surrounding the property.
He moved a little closer to her. “Please talk to me.”
“There’s nix to say.” She clenched her hands, which were covered with dirt from working in the flower beds.
He paused, waiting for her to look at him. When she didn’t, his chest constricted. “Is this how things end between us?” A lump settled in his throat. “Are we never going to speak to each other again?”
She sniffed, her head still tilted away from him. “That’s probably for the best.”
“It’s not, and I’m not going to let that happen.” He moved to stand in front of her, placing his palms on either side of her, pressing them against the barn. If she wanted to dash away, she’d have to duck under one of his arms, and he was ready to catch her if she tried. “You’re not leaving until we get things straight between us.”
“There is nee us.” She finally looked up at him, her pretty eyes rimmed with tears.
He met her gaze, and his heart moved again. When one tear escaped,
he couldn’t stop himself from wiping it away with his thumb. He heard her breath catch.
“Wh-what are you doing?”
Ira wasn’t sure what he was doing. When he and Margaret talked after Nina revealed her feelings for him, his cousin told him to be honest with himself. That’s when he realized the thought of not seeing Nina on a weekly basis made him feel empty inside. But he’d made a mistake with Martha, and he hadn’t wanted to make one with anyone else. Yet he hadn’t wanted to lose Nina either. Somehow, he’d thought he could convince her they could still make their relationship work—as friends.
That was before the singing. Before he’d seen her with Zeb, before he’d realized that his fear of making another mistake with a woman was getting in the way. His honest assessment of his feelings for Nina hadn’t been so honest after all.
He was so close to her that he could see the pain in her eyes, and he wanted to be the one who took that pain away.
She wiped at her tears with the back of her hand, leaving a smudge of dirt on her cheek. “I’m sorry I ruined everything,” she said. “I should have kept mei mouth shut.”
“I’m glad you didn’t,” he said, his heart pounding harder than it ever had. He was entering uncharted territory, but he knew one thing—he’d never felt like this with another woman. He was attracted to Nina. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to see her smile and laugh again, and he wanted to be the reason she did. “Come fishing tomorrow,” he said, the huskiness of his voice surprising him as much as his sudden suggestion.
She shook her head. “I can’t—”
“I’m not taking nee for an answer.” When she didn’t respond, he added, “Meet me by the pond at our usual time.” Although he didn’t want to, he moved away from her. He sensed that if he pushed her anymore, she’d flee. “Don’t be late.”
“Ira—”
“I’ll be waiting for you. All day and night if I have to.” He turned and headed for his buggy. He wasn’t sure if she would show up, or if he was even doing the right thing. When he got into the buggy, he started praying that he was.