“If you say so.” He wasn’t so sure.
“I mean it,” she insisted and stopped in her tracks. “No one makes me feel like you do.” It was true, although she worried about what the separation would do to them. She knew it never was a problem before, but she had opened her heart to him. She closed her eyes, trying to forget her doubts. “You’re the one I’ve been looking for.”
He was speechless, but felt the same way. Without another thought, he held her face in his hands and kissed her lips several times. His lids drifted closed as well, while they moved closer, holding each other. He wished they weren’t in public. He wanted to make love to her so badly. He turned the other way and claimed her mouth again.
Mackenzie heard nothing but their breathing. If anyone was passing them, she didn’t care. She felt the passion he had for her deep within. It quelled her fears. When his tongue teased hers, she deepened the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck.
When they came up for air, their eyes met and both smiled. Then once again, they walked hand in hand. Just about a mile later, they reached the trail. All the shops they had passed were closed, but the bars and restaurants were open. There were people milling about, but no one paid them any mind.
The cool breeze coming off the lake made Mackenzie shiver. Brandon pulled her closer and rubbed her arm. He had worn his leather jacket out of habit. When she shivered again, he took it off and put it on her shoulders. He patted the large American flag patch on the back. It had “Wicked End” embroidered diagonally, just like on their first CD cover after Brandon joined. Most fans and friends knew him from behind because of it.
“Better?” He lifted her chin and kissed her lips.
She gave him a shy smile, knowing the walk they were taking was not like any other. He was her boyfriend for real, and they were in public. She was also wearing his very recognizable jacket. If anyone noticed him, the world would know about them.
“So…” He hesitated, unsure how to ask the loaded question. “Uh… well, now that we’re a couple… Um… how will it change…” His heart was pounding in his ears. He didn’t want to sound like a jealous asshole. “When you go back home…” He took a deep breath. “Will things be different?” Her confused expression forced him to be blunt. “Sexually speaking, I mean.” They had broached the subject earlier, but he never got a definitive answer.
She looked into his eyes and saw his need for clarity. “Do you want me to stop seeing my, uh… friends?” She blushed, thinking about how many men she had on speed-dial just for sex. If he had ever looked at her contacts list, he would flip.
“There’s more than one?” The high-pitched response was unexpected, but he couldn’t help it. He had no idea who she slept with other than him. Although, he didn’t think there were multiple. His breath quickened as he imagined her with another man.
Looking away, she replied, “Yes.”
Suddenly he felt like a vise was around his heart. “How many?” He imagined her having several men a night in her bed, all taking turns with her, not thinking about him at all.
“Don’t do this, baby.” Her hand cupped his cheek. “They don’t mean anything to me. Like groupies for you, they just help me get off.”
He struggled to hold back tears. Never had he reacted that way, to knowing she had other lovers, but it was obvious she slept around a lot more than he did. “I do like one a month,” he blurted out, unable to hone in his jealousy. “I don’t even fuck them all. Most of the time, I just get a blowjob and think of you so I can cum. My hand usually gets me off!”
His heart burned. He felt like she had just punched him. Quickly, he walked away, to hide the tears. He knew he had no right to the feelings rushing through him. She had been free to do whatever she wanted before they made it official. He never put restrictions on her before.
“Brandon,” she called to him as she ran after him. His jacket slipped after a few feet, so she put her arms through the holes and hurried to him. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She grabbed his arm, and he shrugged her away. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”
He sniffled and used his T-shirt to wipe his nose and cheeks. It was disgusting, but better than her seeing him looking like a wuss. He grabbed the railing in front of him and looked at the boats on the lake. No words came to him other than, “monogamy,” something he did not want either.
“Please, talk to me,” Mackenzie begged, moving next to him. “Our lives have changed completely. I want this to work. Please.”
She couldn’t help but cry, thinking she blew it with him. The last thing she ever wanted was to hurt him. She waited, her mind reeling. If he broke up with her, her heart would be ripped in two. No way could she deal with that much pain again, especially alone. She had to find a way to give him whatever he needed.
Brandon struggled to focus. His mind was going a million miles an hour. All the images of her with his bandmates flashed before him. His jealousy built again. No way could he deal with knowing she was with some strange guy without him around. It would kill him to find something left behind at her place or come home to them in bed.
He took a deep breath and glanced at her. “Can you hold out for me?”
“You mean, like for an entire tour?” Her voice squeaked. She did not want to promise something she knew she couldn’t deliver.
He turned and exhaled loudly. “That’s not fair. I know.” He knew her sexual appetite was very different from most women’s. She was even more ravenous than he was. If not for his hand, twice a day, he would go crazy on the road. “Could we limit your list and maybe let me meet them, so I know they’re not bad guys?” That was a compromise, wasn’t it?
“Well, that’s kinda awkward.” She thought of the men in her life and only a few could handle meeting him, although since he was Brandon Knight, they might be willing. “But they’ve all seen your name between my legs.” Her eyebrows went up and down, suggestively.
He couldn’t help but smile. “Do they know it’s me?”
“Hell yes!” She grinned, madly. “I tell anyone who asks, Brandon Knight is the best and so far none have beaten you.” She ran her fingertips through his rough beard. “I told you, no one makes me feel like you do. No one’s in my heart but you. I swear. When I go home, things will change for me. Since the first night in your arms on the bus, I didn’t want to let you go. Even with all the escapades I had, it all comes down to you. I want to be with you.”
Elation consuming him, he grabbed her neck and angled her head back before planting a kiss on her lips, full of passion. Their lips stayed locked so long, the noise around them faded. When they parted, the sounds around them were a shock. Brandon held her close as she trembled.
“I’m so sorry.” He rocked her in his arms. “I’ll get a handle on it.” He breathed deeply a few times. “And I’ll make more time to visit you. Sitting around the bus for days sucks. When we have a few days to kill, I’ll spend them with you.” He put his finger over her lips. “I know what you’re gonna say. It’s worth the money. And now that the guys are really used to you, could you come out with us sometimes?”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes. I have vacation time and weekends sometimes. I could also plan other business trips around your location like I did last week.”
“And I’ll pay for the plane fare.”
“Uh-uh!” She was not accepting his money.
He groaned, loudly. “Look, you’re my girlfriend now. You can’t say I’m not allowed to spoil you. Just like I can’t say to quit your fucking job and never leave my side again.” He closed his eyes. “Sorry, I’m just so… I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you.”
She hugged him tightly. “We’ll try to make it interesting. Do you like phone sex?”
“Phone sex?” A wicked smirk formed on his face. “That could be fun. On the bus, it could be complicated, but fuck them.” He closed his eyes again. “Your voice in my ear and my dick in my hand…” His cock started hardening with just
that thought.
She ran a hand over his semi-erect dick. “I see you like that idea. Does your laptop have a webcam?”
He rarely used the thing. It just sat on his shelf of the closet. “It might. If not, I’ll get one that mounts. I love when you talk kinky.”
“I’m gonna call you with my laptop between my legs, so you can watch me cum.” She imagined it, and her pussy clenched. His voice was so sexy; it would probably be mind blowing. “I should get a new toy to use. Maybe we could go pick one out together.”
“I’d like that.” He grabbed her ass. “Too bad those remote vibrators don’t work from miles away.” He frowned then his eyebrows rose. “If I told you what to do, would you do it? Like a dom/sub thing?”
She laughed. “I always do what you say in bed, well, most of the time. Sometimes you can get dominant.” She met his eyes. “See. We can make this work, our way.” She mulled over her next sentence for a few seconds, unsure if she wanted to rehash it. “Uh, so we’re going to both limit sex with others?”
“Unless it’s together, like a threesome or something, I’d like us to do that.” Brandon waited for a nod. “And I really wanna meet these guys.”
He wished he could give her a ring or something, so they would know she was his, but that was crazy. They just got together. Then it hit him. He did have something. He took off his second trademark, his necklace, a black crystal hanging from a leather string. His mom had given it to him just before he left for his first tour. She told him it had protective powers. He just said thank you and laughed later. He regretted that, but at least she hadn’t known. Unwillingly, the memories of her last days came to him.
“What’s wrong, mom?” Brandon heard pain in her voice.
She rasped, “Come home, please.” She had never asked him to come home while on tour.
He had been with Wicked End for two years. Like a good son, he called and sent her money when he could. The phone call was a first. “Mom, why? What happened?”
“Hurry.” She knew there wasn’t much time. “Come to St. Agnes hospital.”
His next phone call was to Mackenzie. “My mom needs me to come home. I’m in Wyoming.”
“What happened?” She had no clue either.
His hand was shaking. “Tink, I don’t know. She’s in the hospital.”
“You get a flight, and I’ll pick you up at the airport.” Her voice gave away her fear.
He got the first flight. Mackenzie was there as promised. She was in grad school back then, only a few hours away from home. He hugged her fiercely, terrified. Then he got in her car, and they went to see his mother together. They were directed to a nurse’s station in the oncology ward. His mom had never told him she had cancer.
“Mr. Knight?” Brandon turned to see a small female doctor walking towards him. “Mr. Knight, can we talk in the lounge please?”
He held Mackenzie by the shoulders. “I wanna see my mom first. She called me.” He took a deep breath, quelling tears. “I need to see her.”
“Please, Mr. Knight…” The doctor gestured to a door. “We need to talk.”
Brandon’s knees got weak and his breath caught. “No. Please. Don’t tell me I’m too late. Please!” He was shouting at that point.
Mackenzie wrapped her arms around him, holding his head to her shoulder. “I’m sorry, baby. You didn’t tell me she was sick.”
“I didn’t know,” he whispered.
The doctor touched his arm. “She’s not gone.” She left out the yet.
“What?” Brandon bolted upright and his head whipped around. “Where is she? Take me to her, now!” He didn’t move until the doctor nodded. They followed her to a room at the end of the hallway. His mother was connected to numerous machines. Her eyes were closed. “Is she asleep?”
“No.” The doctor looked into Brandon’s red, teary eyes. “She slipped into a coma. She’s been sick for a year. I was ordered not to tell anyone. She didn’t want you to give up your career for her. She was very proud of you and told everyone at the office about your success.” She moved the blanket higher on his mother’s body. “She tried to wait for you. This happened about an hour ago. The cancer spread all over. She was in a lot of pain. It’s best if you tell her it’s OK to let go.”
He and Mackenzie sat in his mother’s room for days, hoping she would wake up. She didn’t. When her heart rate started to slow, Mackenzie held his hand in hers. “You have to tell her you’ll be OK without her.”
“I can’t.” He had cried more the past few days than his entire life. She was his only parent, and other than Mackenzie, the only person he cared about.
Mackenzie stood before him and kissed his lips. “She’ll hang on, in pain for you. Only you can help her let go.” It killed her to say those words, but knowing his mother, she was alive only for him.
Reluctantly, he clutched her hand, while clinging to Mackenzie’s as well. “Mom…” his voice drifted off as tears fell. “Mom, I’m OK. Mackenzie’ll take care of me. I love you.”
He shuddered as he recalled his mother’s last breath soon after. He had promised himself never to utter those three words again. Then he held the necklace out and looked Mackenzie in the eye. “Thank you for being there for me.” He wondered if he would ever break that promise and say those words to her. His mom would understand though.
“Always,” she uttered, unsure what he was going to do.
Mackenzie’s hands shook as he put the necklace around her neck. Tears spilled while she looked up at him, at a loss for words. Never did she expect something like that. Her heart swelled. She touched the crystal, not understanding why she merited wearing it.
Brandon knew his mom had always liked Mackenzie and would be proud that she wore it. He ran a hand up her left side, over the bloody roses for her father. Then he watched her hand do the same over his on his right side, revealing the similar tattoo, save his said MOM within the pattern.
“Now it’ll protect you,” he whispered, keeping his emotions in check, but just barely.
Chapter Twenty Two
“How many rooms am I getting?” Austin asked Brandon as he stood in front of the cheapest, decent motel that was close to the Montreal arena. He glanced at Scott, who was paying the cab driver.
They would be in the same city for almost four days. Everyone was tired of the cramped quarters, so the band and crew pooled their money to get rooms. They rarely did something like that, because the crew members could not all afford hotels.
Brandon tried to count how many people they had in his head. The noise of video games was distracting him. Then he realized that didn’t matter. “Just get as many as you can pay for. Don’t forget, three nights.”
Austin felt the wad of cash in his pocket. “OK, I think they said $50 a night.”
“I want one with a pool view and a balcony,” Jake called from his seat in front of the television. He was playing a racing game with Chico. “I wanna watch the hotties.”
Brandon rolled his eyes. “Did you get that?”
“Yeah.” Austin was standing in a line, trying to look inconspicuous. They had a heavy following in Montreal. He was nervous about being recognized. “Tell everyone they’ll have to at least double up, if not more.”
Brandon laughed. “If it means sleeping in a real bed, I doubt they’ll care.” He craned his neck to look down the hallway, trying to see if Mackenzie had finished her shower, but saw only male bodies in his path. “Let me know when you got them, and I’ll tell everyone they can start heading out.” He hung up the phone and walked towards the bathroom.
“In Coral Springs?” Mackenzie asked making sure she heard her boss correctly. “That’s a long ride.”
Winston sighed. “It was that or one down in Kendall. Not much office space available lately. You won’t believe it when you get down here. It’s still a wreck.” He hesitated; knowing what he had to say would upset her. “Uh, Terri got a call yesterday from your apartment manager.”
Terri was her closest fri
end and worked at the same office. She waited for him to continue, nervously. His voice was unsteady. “They only call her if there’s an emergency. What happened, and why didn’t they call me?” They had driven through some desolate areas without any signal.
“They tried to get you, several times in the last few days.” He closed his eyes. “He told her you had two days to clean out your apartment, because there was structural damage.”
Mackenzie gasped. “But I can’t.” She didn’t understand why Terri hadn’t told her since they texted once in a while.
“I know. I made Meg a work ID in your name with her picture so she could do it for you.” His wife played it off beautifully, he felt. “We went to your place and grabbed all your photo albums, your backup drive, a few flash drives...” He paused, not wanting to continue, but he had to. “Then the firemen shouted to hurry and get out. I found your grandmother’s jewelry just before they escorted us out. I’m sorry, but the entire building collapsed minutes later.”
Tears stung her eyes. She had not thought about her place being gone. “Uh… so… so, where do I stay?” It hadn’t sunk in that she lost almost everything she owned. A knock on the bathroom door made her jump. “I’m naked, gimmie a minute!”
Trying to break the tension, Winston laughed. “Are those boys all over you there? I can’t imagine living with a crew of musicians.”
“Tink, it’s me.” Brandon scowled, knowing her outburst was either from her being hassled by some of the guys, or she was upset. “Let me in.”
Mackenzie unlocked the door and stepped back, carefully, so not to trip into the shower stall. The offhanded comment distracted her from her homelessness for the moment. “It’s not easy on the road with them, but I manage.” Her glassy eyes met Brandon’s, just before he kissed her lips. “Does this mean you want me back soon?”
Brandon’s eyes widened. He didn’t want her to leave, not ever. Two weeks, was the most time they had spent together since college. He pulled her into his arms, only leaving her right arm free.
“So, you want me home by next week?” Her breathing quickened. Leaving Brandon was going to be near impossible. They had gotten so much closer than she imagined possible. “Winston, I have nowhere to go.” The situation was finally getting to her. She recalled everything and shock set in.
Wicked End Page 22