He grabbed a bag of sugar from the cabinet and opened it. “What about the media appearances you mentioned?”
“Each contestant will be interviewed and photographed beforehand. Some will appear on news coverage while others will wait, and only the winner’s interviews will be broadcast.” Even though she was full, she stabbed another raspberry and remembered the second part of this whole thing.
“What’s wrong?”
“Umm…” She had been so preoccupied with seeing him again that she had forgotten what happened if he won. I can’t hope he loses just so I don’t have to spend more time with him. That’s selfish, and he deserves better than that from me.
“Earth to Madison. What did you just think of?”
“Part two of this whole campaign.” She pushed the rest of the crepe away. “The winner and handler are off on another two weeks of media engagements with both televised and print interviews.”
“Four weeks…” He set the bowl aside that he was hand mixing something in. “Four weeks stuck in this nightmare.”
“Oh, come on, Lucky, it’s not that bad.”
“It might not be for you, but this isn’t the reason I joined the Marines. It’s sure as hell not the reason I started cooking. I want to be back on base, training with my men, hell…even going on a deployment.” He leaned against the counter and looked at her. “When I offered to be used for target practice, or as a crash test dummy, I didn’t realize how much I’d prefer those options over this. Now, I do.”
“What does that mean? Are you pulling out?” She tried not to think about how that would look on her record. That she couldn’t even keep her very first assignment on track, or even her own competitor from throwing in the towel before it even began. If she lost this job, she wasn’t sure what she was going to do.
“No.” He let out a deep sigh. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. Graves knew I wouldn’t do this of my own free will, so he decided to make it a direct order. I might not be court marshaled for it since, after all, it’s supposed to be volunteers who are doing this, but there would be some serious hell to pay. Those consequences are not something I’m eager to endure. So, I’ll see this through.”
“It won’t be so bad. In a few weeks you can be back on base, doing what you normally do.”
“Damn right.” He grabbed the bowl and began to whisk the contents again. “Because in two weeks, I’ll be back in Virginia. There’s not a chance I’m going to win this.”
“You’d sabotage yourself?” If her boss found out, she’d be the one in hot water and possibly out of work.
“I don’t think I’m the best one to win this. I’m not a damn chef, I’m a Marine.”
She hadn’t missed that he had avoided answering her question directly. Even if he was upset he’d been chosen, she couldn’t see him screwing it up just to get out of it. “If you weren’t a Marine, you’d make one fine chef.” She nodded to the plates before her. “You should remember I’m not a breakfast person, let alone someone who enjoys eggs, but I finished that omelet. It was delicious. You were always a good cook, you get that from your mother, but over the years it seems you’ve improved.”
“When you’re a bachelor, you have to cook or you’ll starve. There are only so many times a person can eat out before they get tired of the food choices.”
There was a silence that fell over them as she gathered her dishes and began to clean up. After she had them in the dishwasher, she sat back down at the bar. “Lucky…this might not mean much to you, but before you sabotage yourself, think about Kyle and the other Marines who could use the money you’d win.”
“Guilt is a powerful thing when used properly. Mom always went to guilt when nothing else worked. Even Graves used it to get me here.” He pulled out another bowl and began adding ingredients to it. “As much as I hate being a part of this, I’m not one to admit defeat. I’ll give this my best because my fellow brothers and sisters in arms deserve that from me. If I sabotaged it, I would be hurting them, not myself, and that’s not my style. Don’t worry, I’ll play along and keep your precious game flowing on schedule.”
“This isn’t about me.” She took a sip of her orange juice and tried to settle her nerves. “This is an awkward situation, I get it, but you can do a good thing here. Exposure for the military is never a bad thing and the money for those wounded Marines…”
“Just stop. I said I would do it.”
Before she could respond, her cell phone rang. She pulled it out of the pocket of her cardigan, and glanced at the screen. “Excuse me, I have to take this.” She hopped off the bar stool, headed for the small office space on the other side of the living area, and brought the phone to her ear. “Hi, Mom.”
“Don’t hi Mom me. You couldn’t even send me a text to let me know you arrived in Denver safely? Your plane could have crashed, and I’d never know.”
“Mom…” She shook her head and smiled. “It was after three in the morning here when I arrived. I was exhausted, and I’m not a teenager anymore. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“You’ll find out soon enough that you’ll never stop worrying about your child, no matter how old they are.”
She refused to think about her mom’s statement. She cleared her throat. “So, Mom, did you just call to see if I arrived? After all, I’m sure you already have the news on and know that a plane didn’t crash. So, you knew I was safe.”
“Not that you bothered calling,” her mother reminded her before diving into the real reason she’d called. “Did you pick up your Marine?”
“Yeah, and Mom…” She closed the door and moved to the far side of the room, next to the window.
“What is it, hon?”
“It’s Lucky.” The first tear she had allowed herself rolled down her cheek. “Lucky Diamond.”
Lucky spent most of the day cooking, testing out different recipes. He wasn’t sure what they were going to do with all the food, but if he was going to have a fighting chance, he needed to be prepared. Keeping busy had kept his thoughts away from the person that had brought him here, but as the day dwindled, he was having a harder time keeping the memories at bay. Images of Kyle popped into his thoughts, and each time they were harder to shove back into the mental box where he kept them.
The front door opened and a second later closed, announcing Madison’s return. She had been gone most of the afternoon checking on the other contestants, leaving him time to work without interruption. It also gave him time to consider where things stood with them. He wanted her as much now, if not more, than he had years ago, but he had no idea how to start. There wasn’t a wedding ring on her finger, which surprised him. He would have thought she’d have settled down years ago, with a husband and a few children. Even without a ring, there could be someone waiting for her back in Washington D.C.
“Lucky?”
“I’m here.” He placed a stuffed chicken breast on a plate.
“You’re still cooking?” She placed her laptop bag and planner on the counter. “I figured you’d have called it a night by now.”
“Since tomorrow is full of media appearances, I wanted to make sure I got through some different recipes today.” He placed the second chicken breast on the other plate. “I guess you could say dinner’s done. Stuffed chicken breast just came off the stove, so we’ll eat that, but there’s some other things I want you to try and give me your thoughts on. I need some feedback before I decide what to make.”
“It looks delicious.”
“Thanks.” He grabbed some grilled asparagus and added it to the plate before drizzling some of the hollandaise sauce that was left over from breakfast over it. “There are seven different appetizers to test as well. I’d have started with those, but this is hot and ready.”
“It’s fine. I’ll grab drinks. What would you like?”
“I saw beer in there earlier; I’ll take one of those.” He took the plates to the table, instead of the bar where she had breakfast that morning. “Is everything ok
ay?”
She poured herself a glass of water and added a slice of lemon to it before grabbing his beer. “Yes. Everyone arrived and has settled in, so everything is going according to plan. I’ve got to meet with my boss tomorrow between two of your interviews, so if you wouldn’t mind accompanying me, it would be easier than coming back here to drop you off and then pick you up again.”
“Whatever you need.” He untwisted the beer cap and waited for her to sit down. “Though that’s not what I meant. I wasn’t asking if the others had arrived with their handlers.”
“Then what did you mean?” She cut into the chicken breast and took a bite. “This is enchanting. What’s in it? Are those almonds?”
“It’s stuffed with artichoke hearts, spinach, almonds, and parmesan cheese.”
“You make this for a bunch of Marines?” She took another bite. “I just picture this more at a dinner party or in a fancy restaurant.”
“Just because we’re supposed to be a bunch of big bad Marines doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy the finer foods.” He speared a bite of the chicken but didn’t bring it to his mouth. “I believe you’re avoiding the subject. I know even with your deflection that you knew what I meant when I asked if things were okay. You’ve been off-kilter since you got off the phone with your mother. Are your parents okay?”
“Oh yeah, they’re fine. They moved to Florida…but I guess you already knew that.”
“I know.” He didn’t bother to mention that the reason he knew was because their house went on the market and he had bought it. All those years ago, he’d snatched it up because he thought she’d come back to him. When she did, the house she had loved and the place they had so many good memories in would be theirs. When he realized she wasn’t coming back, he couldn’t bring himself to move in, or even sell it. Instead, he had rented it out to a family that had lived on base but wanted to have a place of their own without buying. Three and half years they had been there, but in a few months they were changing duty stations and the place would be vacant. This time, he promised himself he’d put it on the market and close the door to the past. That was before Maddie came strolling back into his life.
They ate a few bites in silence while he hoped she’d just tell him what was bothering her, so he wouldn’t have to pull it out of her. In the end, his patience ran out. He set his fork down, and leaned back from the table. “Since that phone call, you’ve been uneasy. Almost like you can’t stand to be in the same room as me. So, what is it? Did your mother say something about me that upset you?”
“Mom has nothing to do with this.” She cut the asparagus into bite size pieces and then cut it down further. Distracting herself with her food to avoid the subject at hand.
“Then what is it? Last night, things were fine…even this morning over breakfast. Now there’s a tension in the air. It won’t be pleasant to spend the next thirteen days like this, but if you wish—”
She dropped her fork on the plate, and the clash of it against the dish cut him off. “How am I supposed to pretend we don’t have history? Every time I look at you, I wonder what would have happened if I’d done things differently.”
“Are you implying you regret your decision?” He almost couldn’t believe her words. He had regrets from that day, and the days following. If he had a chance to go back and do it all over again, he’d fight for her with everything he had. His only excuse for not fighting for her was that he’d been young and stupid. He had allowed his anger to get the best of him. He’d thought by stepping away and giving her time, she’d come back to him. When she didn’t, too much time had passed for him to just show up at her doorstep and expect to get her back.
“Yes…no…oh hell.”
“Well, which is it?” He watched her, waiting for her final answer.
“What does it matter? It’s not something that can be changed. Regret or no regret, it still doesn’t allow us to go back and change things.”
“It matters to me.” He leaned forward and placed his hand over hers. The simple touch was something he had longed to do since they were in Graves’s office. “What if you could go back and change things, would you? Would you still do what you did?”
“I’ve thought about it before. Yes, I would have changed things given a second chance…but that time has passed.”
“Maybe it hasn’t.” He couldn’t keep the hope from his tone, so instead of going further, he changed his tactic. “Tell me why. Why did you end things?”
“Lucky, this isn’t going to help either of us.”
“I deserve to know. Was it because I joined the Marines? If so, why didn’t you do it when I signed the papers? You knew it had always been my plan, but maybe something changed. Why the hell wait until the bed and breakfast after our night together?”
Her eyes glossed over with tears, and he wanted to take back his words. He wanted to tell her that he didn’t need to know, but that would have been a lie. It was the one question he had wanted answered for years. He wanted to know why she had done it. What had suddenly changed that made their relationship no longer worth fighting for?
She pushed back from the chair, went to the window, and stared out. Something about the way she looked didn’t make it seem as though she was admiring the mountains, but instead picturing the day in question. “You were off to Parris Island, South Carolina, and I was about to start college in Boston. We were going to be more than just a few hours’ drive away from each other. A plane trip. Even then, it wasn’t like either of us could have just visited the other when we were lonely. After boot camp, we had no idea where you’d be stationed. You could have come back to Virginia, or you could have been sent to San Diego. Either way, we were going to be apart for some time.”
“I know, but what I don’t understand is what the change was. We discussed that. You should have known I would have come to Boston anytime I got leave, and you could have come to see me wherever I was stationed. We’d have made it work.”
“I wanted to remember us how we were, the love we had for each other. I didn’t want to end things on a bad note.”
He nearly spit out the beer he had just drank. “What?”
“Things were so perfect between us. All our friends thought we were the perfect couple. Our parents thought we’d get married.” She turned back toward him. “With all the distance that would have separated us, we could have drifted apart. If things were going to end, I wanted them to end with only happy memories. Nothing negative or less than we deserved. I did it because I loved you, and though it might not make sense now that we’re older and wiser, I did it to protect what we had.”
“That was…” He wanted to say senseless, but it would have been rude.
“I know.” She nodded as if she realized what he wanted to say. “It doesn’t make sense now, but when I did it I thought I was saving us both heartache.”
“Instead, it only brought us broken hearts and pain. All those years we’ve wasted.” He raised an eyebrow at her. “What are you going to do about it now?”
“What do you mean? There’s nothing I can do about the past.”
“I don’t mean about the past, and you know that. Why don’t we stop beating around the bush? I still care for you…I’d say I still love you, but I have a feeling that would scare you.” He nodded to her left hand. “You’re not married, and from the way you’re looking at me, I’d say you don’t have someone waiting for you when this is all over. So, what’s stopping us from exploring this? We could see what we lost when you took the decision into your own hands.”
“There’s nothing we can do. Our time has passed.” She turned on her heels, and left the room.
“Bullshit. We were brought together for a reason. Call it fate or call it what you’d like, but this time I’m not giving up on you,” he called after her as she left, determined to fight for the chance they should have had years ago.
Stripped out of her business clothes and into something more comfortable, Madison sat on the only chair in the room with
her legs folded under her and her hand resting on her stomach. Over and over she kept telling herself their time had passed, that there was nothing they could go back to. She wished things were different, but they weren’t. This was her life, but she’d be damned if she’d force someone else to become tangled into how things were.
“Maddie…” Lucky stood in the doorway. “Can we talk?”
“There’s nothing to say. The path that would have led us together is closed.”
“Why are you so adamant that things are over between us?” When she didn’t answer, he strolled forward and pushed again. “Tell me the truth and I’ll let things go.”
“I’m pregnant.”
“What?” He leaned against the dresser and watched her. “So, there is someone else. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“There’s no one.” She pulled her legs out from under her and stretched them out. “The father doesn’t even want anything to do with my child. He’s…he’s married.”
“Oh, Maddie.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” she snapped. “I did what I did. Though I might have been naïve to believe he’d leave his wife in the end, I made my choices and no one else but me has to live with that decision.”
“Leave his wife?” Lucky shook his head. “I thought you’d be smarter than to get involved with a married man.”
“If you must know, I didn’t know he was married when things started. We were together for over a year before I found out he was married. That was two weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I told him I wouldn’t be the other woman that I deserved better than that, but he strung me along for a bit longer, promising to leave his wife so we could be together. I loved him, and for those two weeks I hung on, hoping he was telling me the truth. In the back of my mind, I knew that if he left her, one day I would be the one he was cheating on. I’d have never been able to trust him. When I found out I was pregnant, that’s when things ended.”
“Why?”
“He said he’d never leave his wife for me, and that he wanted me to have an abortion. I refused. This baby shouldn’t have to suffer because of my mistakes. I had a lawyer draw up papers for him to sign, giving up any rights he would have to the child, and in turn I would never name him as father or seek out child support.”
Lucky Chance Page 4