“They want me in their wedding. I’m going to be a bridesmaid!”
The pinprick became a burning stab. “That’s wonderful, sweetheart.”
She hugged Mia, thankful for a reason to hide her face, even if only for a few seconds.
He’s still getting married. Gena pressed her lips together and turned back into the guestroom when Mia let her go.
“Do you know what kind of dress you’ll need?”
What did you think he was going to do—realize he had loved you all along and cancel his wedding? She wasn’t good enough for him then and she wasn’t good enough for him now.
She hated herself for even caring—even considering the possibility. Falling for Travis Ryan again would only land her in another big pile of heartbreak. It had taken long enough to dig herself out the last time.
Mia picked up the bundle of dirty sheets and shoved them into the basket. “Dad said that maybe next month I could spend a weekend with them in Boston. Then Kristen and I can go look at the dresses. She already has them picked out, but I’ll need to be fitted.
“And they’re going to get married in Boston, then go to the Virgin Islands for their honeymoon, which is what Dad wanted all along. And Kristen wants me to spend a week there before the wedding so that she can introduce me to her friends and family. That way there won’t be any awkward questions during the wedding.”
Gena listened to her daughter’s breathless excitement and had to smile. Mia was happy—deliriously so—and that was what mattered. Anything else lived only in her imagination.
“And Dad said they would invite you to the wedding if I wanted them to.”
That stopped Gena in her tracks. Me—at Travis’s wedding? Watching Travis in his tuxedo pledging his undying love to a beautiful, wealthy woman wasn’t high on her list of things to do. And no matter how logical she tried to be with herself, seeing him kiss the bride would rip her heart out. They had skipped that part at their wedding.
“Thank you, sweetie, but I’ll pass.”
Mia frowned and put her hand on her hip. “I knew you’d say that. I guess the wedding would be awkward, but you and Dad need to spend more time with each other. You’re both my parents and there are going to be times you have to be together.”
“And we’ll do fine.” She kissed her daughter’s cheek and walked down the hall to the next room. “We won’t have any trouble being polite to each other.”
“I don’t want you to just be polite. I want you to like him.”
Gena bit down on a little burst of laughter. She wanted to say I like him a little too much, but she didn’t. Her personal problems were just that—her own.
“I think he still likes you,” Mia added, and there was no misreading her tone.
Gena tossed a dust rag at the girl. “Mia Dawn Taylor, don’t you go getting any ideas in that head of yours. First of all, he can’t still like me because he didn’t like me then. And weren’t you the one just talking about weddings and bridesmaid dresses?”
Mia sighed and made a half-hearted swipe over the dresser-top. “Yeah, but—”
“There is no yeah, but,” Gena interrupted. “Look, your…dad and I might be able to manage a friendship, sweetie, but there will never be anything more.
“Travis is marrying Kristen in a few months, and it sounds like she’s willing to accept—maybe even welcome—you as a part of their lives. You need to respect her and that includes not wishing her fiancé is attracted to his ex-wife.”
She was surprised she could even get the words out, considering the thoughts she’d had over the past days. But what she told Mia was true, and she needed to start believing it herself.
A vehicle pulled in under the window and Gena frowned. She knew it was Travis’s truck, and she hadn’t known he was coming. Looking at Mia, she raised an eyebrow.
“That’s Dad. When I was on the phone with him he asked if I wanted to go see a movie. Is that okay?”
“Considering the fact he’s here now, it’s a little late to ask,” she replied with a wry smile. “But you need to finish dusting this room and carry the baskets down to the laundry room. I’ll tell him you’ll be right along.”
* * * * *
Travis was halfway up the porch steps when the door opened. He smiled, expecting his daughter, then froze when he saw it was Gena standing in front of him.
God, she’s beautiful, was his first thought, and he mentally kicked himself—again.
He had to stop thinking about her. The mixture of anger and lust he felt whenever he did was making him crazy. But she looked so good to him right now. She wore denim shorts and a T-shirt from the Speedway, and her ponytail was coming loose, letting wisps of auburn hair blow around her face.
Her legs were long and tanned, and he imagined her spending hours in the sun tending the garden. And he could hardly help the way the bold letters emblazoned across the front of her T-shirt drew his eye.
What he couldn’t understand was how his body could betray him by responding to a woman that common sense told him he should despise.
“Hello, Gena,” he said, careful to use a neutral tone. “I asked Mia to see a movie with me.”
She nodded. “I wanted to talk to you about that.”
He felt disappointment, followed quickly by anger. “You’re not going to let her go?”
“I didn’t say that,” she said quickly. “I just think you should ask me first.”
Travis walked slowly up the last steps and across the porch until he was looming over her. “You told me you wouldn’t keep me from seeing her.”
She put her hand on his chest and tried to shove him back, but he didn’t move. “Don’t try to intimidate me again, Travis Ryan. And don’t put words in my mouth.”
He grasped her hand, intending to push it away. But he held it, gripping it far tighter than he’d intended.
Her skin was hot, and as he watched a red flush creep up her neck, he wondered if she had a fever or if she was just that angry at him.
Travis moved his fingers, feeling the fine bones in her small hand. He watched in fascination as the flush in her face gathered into two bright spots of color high on her cheeks. His eyes slid down to her mouth, finding her lips parted slightly as her breaths became faster and more shallow.
Don’t do it, he told himself, even as he wondered what she would do if he lowered his head just a little bit more, if he tasted her lips.
“Mia,” Gena said quickly.
He didn’t know if it was a warning that she was coming or a reminder of what they were talking about, but whatever it was—it worked. He dropped her hand and took a step back. He wasn’t sure his voice would work right at the moment, so he just lifted an eyebrow, waiting for her to say something.
“I…um…I’m not saying you can’t see her. I just would like for you to ask me first. Or have her ask me. She has responsibilities here, and I—I’m still her…custodial parent. Mia works here at the Inn, and she gets paid for it. I rely on her help and she can’t just go running off whenever she feels like it. And we need to establish some boundaries—a routine—before school starts again.”
He had to admit she was right. She had been Mia’s sole parent for fifteen years. And even though being a single parent had been her own decision, it wouldn’t be good for him to throw her rules and discipline out the window. He didn’t want Mia to like him just because he was the fun parent.
“Okay,” he said simply, and he smiled at the surprise on her face. “I understand what you’re saying, and I agree with it.”
“Thank you. And stop thinking I’m going to try to keep you away from her. That’s not going to happen.”
“I think it’s a pretty reasonable fear. After all, you’ve done it once, haven’t you?” He regretted the words almost as soon as he said them, but he wouldn’t take them back. If nothing else it served to remind his heart of what his mind never forgot. This woman was off-limits.
She stared at him for a long moment, and he saw the hurt and g
uilt in her eyes. “Mia will be right out.”
She turned and walked back into the house. He almost stopped her, but it wouldn’t do any good. There was nothing either of them could say to change the past.
* * * * *
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Gena said the following night.
“Mom, it’s just one night,” Mia said, dropping two rented movies on the coffee table. “It’ll be fun.”
“Fun? Eating pizza and watching movies with my ex-husband?” Gena shook her head and set the napkins and paper plates next to the movies.
“Why don’t you think of him more as my dad and less as your ex-husband?” She smiled when Gena rolled her eyes. “Come on—it’s a family night.”
But we’re not a family. It was becoming more and more clear to Gena that’s exactly what Mia was after. Somehow she had gotten the idea that her parents would make a great couple.
“Can’t we do it another night?” Maybe when what happened on the porch made a little more sense.
“It has to be tonight. Dad’s only in town from Wednesday nights to Sunday nights, and we have guests this weekend. It’s the only night we haven’t been booked in a long time.”
“It will be great,” Mia continued when Gena remained silent. “It’ll give you guys a chance to get to know each other better.”
Gena turned and gave her daughter a stern look. “You’re not a little girl anymore, so I’m going to make this plain. Your father and I will never be more than civil to each other. There’s too much pain and too much blame for the past, and we will not be romantically involved. Travis is getting married to Kristen, and I’m very happy with my life, and that’s the end of it.”
Mia just shrugged and went to the kitchen for plates, leaving Gena to stare after her. She had seen that shrug many times before and she knew what it meant. It was Mia’s way of saying we’ll see.
The doorbell rang and Gena took a deep breath. She could make it through one evening. They would be watching movies, eating, and talking to Mia. They wouldn’t be alone, like they had been on the porch.
Where he almost kissed me yesterday. She had seen the look in his eyes, he looked like a man who was about to do something he knew he shouldn’t. And she had wanted that kiss—yearned for it. But it would only lead to more heartbreak and she knew it. So she had thrown Mia’s name out there, hoping it would remind him of how much he didn’t like her. It had worked—maybe a little too well.
She heard Mia and Travis in the kitchen, so she pasted on a smile and went out to say hello.
The words almost got caught up in her throat, but she swallowed hard and squeezed them out. “Hello, Travis.”
He was fresh from the shower. His blonde hair was still darkened from being slightly damp, and it curled a little over his ears. His skin glowed from a scrubbing, and his freshly-shaved jaw looked as smooth as silk despite its strong edge.
“I got pepperoni and bacon,” he said, giving her what looked to be a genuine smile. “I’ve never had it, but Mia says I’m missing out.”
They followed her into their private living room and Travis set the pizza box on the table where the plates and several cans of soda already sat. Mia popped the first movie into the VCR, then sat in the rocking chair, a tiny smile playing along the corners of her mouth.
Gena glared at her daughter, but she was being deliberately ignored. With the rocking chair occupied, that left only the small sofa for Travis and Gena. The very small sofa—more of a loveseat, really.
She sat and Travis did the same, seemingly as reluctant as she was. She was aware of how close his thigh was to her own, how easy it would be for her arm to brush against his. It was going to be a long few hours.
Gena stared at the television screen, but she didn’t see the opening credits or the car chase that followed them. The only thing her mind could register was the heat of Travis’s body next to her, so close she could smell his soap—the warm, spicy scent of his skin.
She could hear each breath he took, and judging by how rigid he looked from the corner of her eyes, he wasn’t totally engrossed in the movie either. She would gladly have given more than a penny for his thoughts at that moment.
There was no way she could ask him. Even if she could gather the courage to ask him what he was thinking about right then, she couldn’t very well do it with Mia sitting right there. And she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.
“Aren’t you guys going to have some pizza?” Mia asked, reaching for her second slice.
Gena’s appetite was gone. She was sure the food would taste like sawdust in her mouth, but she took a slice anyway. Woodenly, she took bite after bite, not even trying to follow the complicated plot of the movie.
We’re never doing this again, she fumed silently. She would just have to explain to Mia that she and Travis both wanted to be with her, just not at the same time. No more family nights, because there was no family. There was a mom and there was a dad and a daughter who belonged to each of them, but not together. And the sooner Mia realized that, the easier Gena’s life would be.
* * * * *
Travis tried to concentrate on the movie, but it was too damn hard with Gena sitting so close to him that he could hear her breathing.
Sometime during the night, while he was lying awake staring at the ceiling, he had finally stopped trying to kid himself. He wanted Gena. Wanted her like he hadn’t wanted a woman in a very long time—if ever.
Despite the past, despite the lies—even despite the fact he had come so close to never knowing Mia—he felt an urge to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless.
But then he remembered the tone of Kristen’s voice when he talked to her, after he had almost kissed his ex-wife on the front porch. His fiancée was an intuitive person and somehow she knew she was losing him. Hurting her was the last thing he wanted to do, but he couldn’t let her go. Not when he wasn’t even sure his reaction to Gena wasn’t caused by his own needs. Kristen worked a hectic schedule, and there wasn’t a lot of time for him. And for all he knew it could be some psychological need to return to his teenage years.
Gena shifted next to him, and he caught a scent of her—Ivory soap, fruit-scented shampoo, a hint of perfume. She put her feet up on the coffee table, her arm resting at her side. Without thinking about the consequence Travis slid his arm over just a bit and took her hand in his.
He heard her quick intake of breath, but she didn’t pull away. He waited, keeping his eyes on the TV screen, until she relaxed, then he moved his thumb lightly across her palm.
Hidden from Mia’s view by the tent of Gena’s knees, he drew tiny circles on her palm, holding back his smile when she shivered almost imperceptibly. With his thumb and forefinger he slid up the length of each of her fingers, then returned to tickling the sensitive flesh in the center of her hand.
Gena stared straight ahead, willing herself to pull her hand away, but she couldn’t do it.
Each stroke of his thumb across her palm stoked the fire burning deep in the pit of her stomach. It was a flame that had been neglected for far too long, and she couldn’t bring herself to douse it yet.
He played idly with her fingers, caressing each one in turn. She closed her eyes for just a second, imagining him lifting her hand to his mouth, flicking his tongue over each fingernail, drawing each finger into the moist warmth of his mouth in turn.
Desire welled up deep within her, and she knew once she went down this path she couldn’t turn around again. She didn’t care. She wanted him.
There was no question now that her heart was going to be broken. More than broken—it would be shattered.
Still she couldn’t pull away, until Mia stood suddenly. “I’m going to microwave some popcorn. Be right back.”
Gena jerked her hand out of Travis’s as if she’d been burned. He lifted his hand to push back his hair while she dropped hers in her lap.
With her heart in her throat, she watched her daughter walk out of the room and
close the door behind her. She was trembling so hard the strands of hair around her face shook.
Travis cleared his throat and she turned to face him, her cheeks burning from embarrassment and the remnants of desire. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I don’t know—” he hooked his hand behind her head and pulled her close “—but it’s not good.”
Gena told herself to push him away, to tell him that she wasn’t interested in whatever his intentions were. But his objective was made perfectly clear as he lowered his face to hers. Then she didn’t want to stop him anymore.
Her eyelids slid closed as his lips brushed hers, and she felt the first sharp pain of heartbreak. His fingers tightened in her hair and his mouth pressed harder against hers, demanding she respond.
With a sigh she gave in. Pushing away all thoughts of reason and consequences, Gena opened her mouth to him, tasting the soda’s sweetness on his lips.
His tongue brushed across hers and she shuddered, turning her body toward him. Gena ran her hand up Travis’s arm, reveling in the feel of the taut muscles under her fingertips. The clean, spicy scent of him filled her senses and she clutched his shoulder, her fingernails biting into his cotton T-shirt.
Travis nipped at her bottom lip and she moaned softly. He deepened the kiss, devouring her, and she responded in kind. She plunged her hand into his hair, letting the dense strands slide through her fingers. Her body strained against him, hungry for his touch.
His hand left her hair, sliding down to caress her neck, and each stroke of his fingers pulled at her core, drawing her deeper into the kiss.
The microwave door slamming closed jerked Gena back to reality. She pulled away from Travis, her breath coming in short, shallow pants.
His eyes seemed to reflect the turmoil she was feeling and she turned her face toward the television. She willed him not to say anything—not to pile any more humiliation on top of what she already felt.
“Gena, I…I’m sorry.” From the corner of her eye she watched him run a hand over his face. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Forever Again Page 6