by Snow, Nicole
I know she’s right.
“You know, I love Millie more than my morning coffee—and that’s a freaking lot—but I’m ready to send her home with Abby. I need to work through some crap.”
“Nick and Carmen crap, you mean?”
More like Nick and I...
“Whatever,” I say.
“Reese, I know you’re freaked out about Nick and your sister, but you can’t let it drive you crazy. Nick’s going to be okay—you hear me? Ward will make sure of it,” she says with a confidence I wish I had.
“I hope so. I think some things may be beyond even Ward.”
If the criminal justice system were so easy to navigate, Nick would’ve had Abby out weeks ago. Money doesn’t solve everything.
Paige smiles. “He’s the most powerful man in Chicago—”
“There are other billionaires in Chicago, to be fair,” I say.
“It’s not just the money. He’s got a butt-ton of contacts. You know how it goes...he doesn’t have a problem with anyone until you mess with his wife, his brother, or God forbid, his grandma. With Nick locked up, they’re messing with everyone. He’ll come through, I’m sure of it.”
I smile and nod because it’s all I can do not to break.
Once we get to her house, I lay a sleeping Millie on the couch, and Paige pours two glasses of wine.
She hands me a glass. “You can put her in a guest room if you want.”
“I’ll wait until I go up. If she wakes up in a place she doesn’t know without me, she’ll panic. I can’t deal with a meltdown today on top of everything else.”
“No problem. We’ll just have to be quiet so we don’t wake her up.”
“She’d sleep through a tornado,” I say with a wave of my hand.
My stomach lurches. I’m biting back bile. My face puckers trying to hold it back, and then the nausea passes.
“Are you okay?” Paige asks.
I stare into the wine, feeling a weird revulsion when I should be desperate for a drink after the day I’ve had.
“Could I just get some water? I’m worried I might throw up...”
“Bathroom’s over there.” She points across her open living room to a door.
Keeping a hand ready to shove over my mouth, I run, just as it hits me.
Oof. That stress is coming out.
I’m lucky I make it to the toilet before I feel the world spinning. Then I lose half my body weight and wind up a sobbing mess on the floor.
Fuck this day. I want Nick!
But since irrational desires for a man who poleaxed my heart can’t help me now, I move to the sink, splashing cold water over my hands.
“Reese?” Paige knocks gently.
I twist the doorknob, swinging it open, hating how she gasps when she sees my raw, red eyes.
“Oh, crap. If you’re not ready for this, I can tell him to call back later...” I see she’s holding my phone.
“Who?” I mouth.
“The attorney, Sutton. I saw the law office on the screen and thought you’d want to take it. He has an update on Abby.”
Finding a burst of strength, I dry my face with the hand towel and take the phone from Paige, who pushes the door open. She comes in and sits on the edge of the tub.
“Hello?”
“Reese? I have good news—mostly,” Sutton says, his voice as gravelly as ever.
“Mostly?” I echo.
Please, for the love of God, don’t let this day get any worse.
“Will Frisk was apprehended an hour ago after a brief standoff. Authorities searched the warehouse and his vehicle, and they came up with several lock boxes of cocaine. The warehouse has been declared a drug scene and his property’s been impounded. Frisk is in custody—meaning we should be able to get Abby out as soon as possible. Maybe as soon as tomorrow.”
Relief floods my body. It’s a struggle to stay standing.
“Oh my God! That’s great. Thank you so much.” I’m shaking, and I feel Paige grab my shoulders for support.
“I couldn’t have done it without Mr. Brandt’s tracker and your sister’s statement, but there’s something else you should know.”
“What?” I can’t imagine anything could dampen my mood right now.
“There are a few indications the drug ring involved may be connected to a larger, more organized group, a branch of a major cartel from El Salvador. I expect they’ll recommend Abby and Millie go under witness protection temporarily to stay safe.”
I blink.
“Why would that be a bad thing? I want them safe,” I say.
“It’s not bad, necessarily, however, they’ll have to stay in it until the trial ends. Also, it can be difficult to maintain a new identity, and during the process it’s ill-advised to talk to anyone they know. Including family.”
“Oh.”
Oh, shit.
Just like that, the world drops out under me.
So, my sister is coming home, but I’ll see her less than I do now in jail. And poor Millie...the thought of losing her for months hurts my heart.
But they’ll be safe, and once the trial is over with Frisk in prison, they’ll be able to move on.
“We’ll do our best, Mr. Sutton. Thanks for calling,” I tell him.
“No problem. Your sister is lucky to have you. The next time you hear from me will be to tell you when to pick up Abby. I’ll talk to you soon. Goodbye.”
I end the call, close the toilet lid, and sit down, utterly exhausted.
“What’s the story?” Paige asks, leaning toward me with concern.
I sigh, palming my face to gather my thoughts before I say, “My sister might need witness protection. Millie, too. Don’t tell anyone, obviously.”
“Oh my God, of course.”
“It’s cool, Paige. Thanks for all your help.” I reach for her hand and give it a squeeze that feels like it takes all my strength.
My tainted stomach begins to settle. I keep one hand over my belly.
“Let me get you that water. Were you sick like this earlier?” she asks, leading me into the kitchen.
“No. It’s weird. I didn’t feel sick at all until it just hit me at once,” I say, mulling it over. “Guess I’m just tired from putting up with your brother-in-law.”
“I’m no stranger to cramps and belly aches sometimes,” she says, wincing. “I hate that time of month with a passion.”
We share a sympathetic smile.
“It’s never been too rough for me, I think, so it’s not that.”
But is it time for my period? The last few months have been such a wreck I don’t remember.
When bedtime comes around, Millie asks for a story like usual. Of course, before I even get the book open on my phone, she asks when Nick will be back, too. I miraculously dodge the question, sucking her into The Lion of Mars.
She’s out like a light halfway through the second chapter.
Good, because I can’t stop my mind from wandering.
And the more it spins through today—right up to me throwing up my woes—the more I start to worry. What if I’m in for another brutal surprise?
When I kiss her on the head and turn out the lights, slipping out of the room, I’m just in time to hear Paige talking to someone.
Between work, finding an attorney, and getting bail taken care of, it’s late when Ward comes home.
I catch them mid-kiss just as I walk in. He’s holding his wife like she’s priceless.
“I missed you, woman,” he growls.
She beams up at him. “Me too. Just so you know, we’ve got a four-year-old asleep upstairs, and Reese and I want gummy bears—”
His brows furrow in an expression so serious I almost laugh.
“Let me guess. You want me to drive you both to the drugstore because it’s the only place open for a mountain of gummy bears and a month’s worth of dental work?” he asks, nodding at me.
“I’ll drive!” I say. “I need some other stuff too.”
“What
is it? I can pick it up for you ladies,” Ward says, trading smiles with his wife.
My face warms. “...just stuff.”
Ward looks at me again, and he’s about to open his mouth with a new question when Paige leans up, pressing her finger over his beard and the seam of his lips.
“Ward, when a woman says she needs stuff, let’s just leave it at that, m’kay?” Paige says.
Heat grows fast and furious under my cheeks.
I want to die.
Paige looks at me—or probably my red-alert blush—and we both burst out laughing.
We make a mad dash to CVS. I dart over to what I need, throw it in a plastic basket with a handle, and toss two heaping bags of gummy bears over it, hoping Paige doesn’t notice.
If she does, she doesn’t mention it.
At least something goes my way tonight.
It’s only the rest of my life that feels like a train off its track, doused in flames.
* * *
The next morning, I wait in the Lincoln across from the jail.
Nick nearly passes me on his way out, then stops and slowly gets in the back seat. Odd.
I can’t remember the last time he chose the back.
“Welcome back to the land of the living,” I say, my eyes flicking back to him.
He looks like a lot of things: worn, relieved, tense, guarded, but mostly, he just looks dead tired.
“Are you ready for some good news?” I venture, hoping it takes the edge off his brief stay behind bars.
He smiles, but it doesn’t touch his eyes. “What?”
“They busted Frisk. His truck’s impounded along with God knows how many pounds of coke. Abby should be released ASAP. Sutton said he couldn’t have done it without you.” I pause, watching how those sharp-green eyes study me. “Thank you so much, Nick. Again.”
“Glad I could help. Take me to Brandt Ideas, please.” His eyes sparkle when he says it, but he’s so subdued today.
Jesus. Did they replace the real Nick Brandt with a double?
“Okay.” I start driving for the office.
At a red light, I watch him in the rearview mirror.
He doesn’t look like a man who just accomplished something we’ve worked at for so long. He’s deflated. Distant. Almost...defeated?
“What’s wrong?” I whisper back.
He gives one slow shake of his head before he falls back into his seat, exhaling deeply.
“What’s wrong?” He echoes slowly, before looking up at me. “Reese, I could have ruined your life last night. If you’d walked in half an hour earlier with Millie...fuck. I could’ve dragged both of you through the legal mud just because you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Because you were with me. I don’t understand why you’re so happy to see me.”
I smile. “Nick, we wouldn’t have been there if you weren’t protecting us from a crazy drug dealer. I’ll take my chances with online gossip and a spiteful ex. It’s not the end of the world.”
“It is. That’s what I’m trying to make you understand. Everyone has a personal brand now. If you’d been there when the cops showed up, you could’ve caught hell finding a job or a loan if you ever need one. Millie could’ve ended up in state fucking custody last night, and it would’ve been my fault.”
His sigh sounds like a broken rattle.
“I’m not mad at you. The worst didn’t happen. Um, I also have other news—”
“You should be,” he growls back, cutting me off.
He doesn’t ask about my other news, and we’re almost to the office.
“Nothing that happened last night was your fault. Was it?” Maybe he knows something I don’t, but I know Nick and I doubt it.
“It was my fault. All of it. Carmen had a fucking key—”
“You said you gave her one years ago.”
“That’s not the point. If she were just a little smarter, or a little less insane—there’s no telling what might’ve happened to any of us. You could’ve been hurt. Badly. You have to care about that, Reese.”
“Here’s what I care about—you’ve done nothing but protect us. You saved us, Abby included, who you’ve never even met. I...I love you.”
I don’t understand. He’s taking down my head with my heart right now.
“Reese, I love you too much, and that’s exactly the problem. I can’t stay away from you. I can’t call you for company rides anymore, either.”
What the hell?
Panic rips through my blood.
“Don’t worry. Your job is safe. I’m going to the office to put in my resignation right now, and you’ll never have to see me again,” he says, pausing just long enough to feel my heart split down the middle. “I can’t keep doing this. Not to you. And knowing the media storm that’s coming, it’s far from over. I can’t let my past threaten everyone around me. It’s not right, and because I love you like nobody else...I have to let you go.”
Tears brand my cheeks, uncontrollable now.
Too much to let me deal with your past, but not enough to ask me how I feel about our future?
That’s what I want to scream at him. I want to yell a lot of things, but my throat feels like there’s something spiked lodged in it, clawing at my soul.
He opens his door and steps out into a blinding rain. Maybe it’s the coolness, but memories of that night in the park—the back seat, my first time—rampage through my head.
I blink back tears the best I can and swerve into the parking garage. I can’t drive like this.
When I left after visiting Abby yesterday, I thought Nick might break my heart because he hadn’t really changed.
I was so stupid and so incredibly wrong.
He broke my heart because he changed, and he’s convinced he can’t overcome his past.
He’s torn me apart because he can’t stand hurting anyone.
The monstrous irony eats me alive one sad pelting teardrop at a time.
28
One Last Chance (Nick)
I line up four shot glasses on a folding chair in front of the couch and overfill each one with cheap tequila. I bring the first glass to my lips and throw it down my gullet. This stuff tastes like ass, but it was the only thing available when I got off the plane.
I knew breaking my addiction to Reese Halle would be torture.
Shot number two. Down the hatch.
Fuck, that burns.
I jerk back, coughing like an angry goose into my elbow.
I’ve resigned from Brandt Ideas. My reputation is shattered—or it will be the second the media hit pieces start landing, if they haven’t already.
I’ve lost my career, my life, and the woman I love is probably shoving needles into the Nick-sized voodoo doll I used to imagine she had. Only, now I bet it’s real.
A magic needle through the throat and gut might explain why I’m subjecting myself to this bullshit.
Why I’m this desperate to torch her out of my head.
She’ll thank me one day. She has to. Whenever she finally realizes she’s better off without me.
My phone pings just as I’m looking at turpentine-shot number three with a sneer.
I’ve spent days avoiding a flurry of calls from Ward, Grandma, and Paige before I hopped the flight to Florida. How long can I run?
Steeling myself, I unlock the screen.
Will you at least tell someone you’re alive, jackass? You’re going to put Grandma in the hospital again. Before I have a chance to respond, Ward sends another message. Also, I’m hiring a PI to find you if you don’t respond. Everyone wants to know you’re safe, and I don’t know how else to keep Grandma from worrying.
I’m considering what to say when my phone flashes and a ringtone drums through my head. My heart jumps.
Maybe it’s her. But why would it be Reese?
I shot her right through the chest. If I didn’t slough off my soul that day, this stuff should do it for me.
I take the third shot and burst into another coughing f
it.
Jesus Christ. My eyes flick back to the screen.
Not Reese.
Roland damn Birdshit. Haven’t I given him enough?
But I’m just drunk and angry enough to hear him gloat as I punch the green icon.
“What?” I bite off.
“Any last words?”
I hold the phone between my ear and shoulder, refilling my shot glasses.
“You’ve got the dirt. I have nothing left to say. I’m done worrying myself sick with the court of public opinion. I’ve quit life and walked away. Nothing left to lose. Do your worst, Birdshit,” I snarl into the phone.
“Happy to see you taking this like a mature, responsible man for once rather than whining how unfair it is, purely because you’re rich with abs.” He pauses before that venom voice returns. “It almost makes me want to show you mercy. Almost.”
Even my laugh burns my throat after drinking rocket fuel.
“A little late for mercy, no?”
“I’m not a total asshole, Nicholas, rumors to the contrary. A strange part of me admires your courage— implicating yourself in Miss Seraphina’s drug bust to get this mess cleaned up once and for all. Believe it or not, I don’t take pleasure in publishing the stories I do. I’m here to report the truth—”
“Forgive me if I fail to see why my sex life needs reporting.”
“You’re a billionaire and a member of a powerful family who can change an entire skyline. Your actions, sobriety, and mental state matter. Plus, your relationships could curry favor,” Osprey says.
Damn. He sounds like Ward. Great wealth brings great responsibility, and all that jazz.
I stare into the shot glass with my stomach turning over.
I tried to be responsible, but money was never good enough.
The only thing that ever made me man up—that made me take a wrecking ball to the face that’s still killing me now—was her.
“Whatever,” I spit. “You done batting me around before you chew me up and shit me out, or what?”
“No. I’m calling to inform you I’ve decided to pivot the story as an exposè on Miss Seraphina.” The jackass goes quiet. “Considering our history, I do enjoy putting the fear of God in you.”