by Amy Cross
After all, even if I got this Sabrina girl back to the building, what would happen to her? Most likely she'd be taken into the system, and then in a few years' time they'd start feeding her into military training. Maybe they'd even fast-track her development, the way they did with me. All told, she'd probably still end up with a weapon in her hand, albeit one a little more advanced than a knife.
She'd still become a killer.
“I can help you,” I continue. “I don't know how, not exactly, but I promise I'll find something. Maybe I'll take you far away from the cities. There are other places. There are towns, there are markets, where you can live a different life.”
Again, as I say those words, I know that what I'm promising is just another form of misery. If I took Sabrina to the markets, she'd end up scraping a living in the dirt. Either she'd have to live an honest life, or she'd become a thief. Maybe she'd find customers who'd be willing to pay her for certain services. Of course, some of those customers would be rough, and she'd have to learn to defend herself. And then, one day, she'd end up with a knife in her hand again.
“I can help you,” I whisper, even though I know it's not true.
I don't know how I could ever help this little girl.
“I can help you,” I say yet again, as if I'm stuck on repeat. I guess I just can't quite admit – not to her, and definitely not to myself – that there's no hope out there.
Suddenly she shifts her weight forward and starts crawling toward me. The knife's blade scrapes against the concrete floor, and I quickly pull back. As the chains tighten, however, I realize that there's only so far I can move, and I watch in horror as Sabrina crawls straight through the patch of blood. She doesn't seem to notice, or doesn't care, that her hands are now soaked. A moment later, I see that her lips are twitching, and I realize I can hear a faint whisper coming from her mouth.
“What are you saying?” I ask. “What do you want?”
“Prove it to everyone,” she replies, her voice sounding harsh and damaged. “Prove it to them all. Prove it to everyone.”
“You don't have to prove anything to anyone,” I tell her. “Please...”
“Prove it to everyone.”
“You don't have to prove anything!” I shout, raising my hands in a hopeless attempt to protect myself. “This isn't how you prove you're strong! You prove you're strong by not doing what they tell you! Don't you -”
Suddenly she lunges at me. I try to push her away, but I feel a sharp pain in my gut and I look down to see that she's stabbed the knife into my belly. Her trembling hand is holding the handle tight, and I can feel the metal blade scraping against a bone near my waist. For a moment I try to work out which bone – my pelvis, maybe – but then I realize that it really doesn't matter.
I look at her face and see more tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Prove it to everyone,” she whispers. “Prove it to them all.”
Her hand is trembling so badly, and the blade is still moving in my guts.
I open my mouth to tell her that I forgive her, but then suddenly I realize I can hear voices yelling in the distance. The voices quickly get louder and more panicked, and then there's the sound of gunfire. Whatever's going on beyond this chamber, it sounds as if a full-on fight has broken out, and I think I can even hear sirens. It's almost as if the war has somehow reached this godforsaken place, but I guess maybe I'm imagining the whole thing. After all, there's no hope of rescue, not down here.
“I don't hate you,” I whisper, as my eyes slip shut and my head tilts to one side. “I forgive you.”
“Prove it to everyone,” Sabrina replies, as the sound of gunfire gets louder in the distance, and as I start to lose consciousness. “Prove it to them all.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Iris
Today
Stopping for a moment to get my breath back, I look across the clearing and watch the forest. For a moment, I can't help hoping that I might spot Nissa in the distance, but deep down I know that would be too easy.
She's gone, and she could be anywhere.
“What's wrong?” a voice asks. “Lost another little girl?”
I freeze, determined to keep from turning and looking over my shoulder.
“One was a shame,” the voice continues, “but two would start to look like a pattern of neglect.”
Turning, I see that Della is standing right behind me. Or rather, a vision of Della. My sister died fifteen years ago, and it's been a decade since the last time I hallucinated her here on the island. The problem is that no matter how much I tell myself that she's not really here, I've never been able to simply force her from my mind. She comes and goes whenever she wants; or, rather, whenever something goes particularly wrong in my head.
“Nissa's the first child born on the island, isn't she?” Della continues. “There haven't been any born since, either. She's become something of a symbol. Sometimes, you even think she's the only thing holding Steadfall together.”
I shake my head, but deep down I know she's right.
“Think of her out there right now,” she adds, “maybe being tracked already by someone who wants a piece of her. She'll be lucky if getting murdered and eaten is all that happens to her. You remember the dark days, don't you? When you were like a dog, following that old man? Or when you were strung up and you watched another girl getting her belly ripped open? Imagine Nissa going through something that horrific.”
Again, I shake my head.
“You're wandering around blindly,” she continues. “What's the plan here? How exactly are you expecting to find her? Do you think you'll just have a stroke of luck and she'll appear in front of you? Face it, Iris. Barring a miracle, Nissa is long gone, and I honestly don't think you want to know what ends up happening to her. It's time to accept the inevitable and just hope that her death is swift and relatively painless.”
She pauses, before stepping closer.
“You know I'm right. You can try to be as brave as you like, but no amount of stubbornness is going to bring Nissa back. Just like you couldn't bring me back.”
Stepping past her, I set off again through the forest, determined to keep searching for Nissa.
“If you keep walking for too much longer,” Della calls after me, “you won't have enough time to get back to Steadfall. And you know what that means, don't you? You'll be stranded out here too. And since you've only got that knife for defense, I don't think you'll last very long. Are you seriously willing to risk your life to save a dumb kid who got herself into this mess by running away?”
Ignoring her, I keep walking.
“Face it!” she yells. “You won't -”
Suddenly a scream rings out. I turn and look toward the west as the scream continues, and somehow I already know whose voice I can hear. I immediately set off, racing between the trees, desperately trying to get to her before it's too late.
It's Nissa.
She's in trouble.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Asher
Many years ago
“Asher, listen to me,” a voice says, breaking through the sound of my own cries. “Asher, this is important. Open your eyes and focus.”
Letting out a sudden gasp, I open my eyes and tilt my head back. Every inch of my body is burning with pain, and I can feel hands working furiously to patch various wounds and tears. When I try to pull away, wires and tubes tug hard against my skin, and a moment later there's a sudden bump as a bright electric light flashes in front of my eyes. Looking around, I suddenly realize that I'm on a trolley, and I'm being wheeled along a corridor.
“No,” I stammer, slurring my speech, “what...”
“Asher, look at me!”
Turning, I see that there's a face leaning over me, running to keep up with the trolley. I blink a couple of times, trying to clear my blurred vision, and finally I realize that I recognize the face.
It's Doctor Phillips.
“Listen to me, Asher,” she continues breat
hlessly, clearly in a state of panic. “They're going to operate on you, okay? You're hurt, but they're going to fix you, and then you're going to recover. It'll take some time, but you're going to get better. And while you're getting better, I'm going to send you somewhere. You'll be safe there, you'll be able to look after yourself. It's a win-win for both of us.”
I try to ask what she means, but all I can manage is a faint, guttural groan.
“What the hell were you doing down there in the abyss in the first place?” she continues, as voices yell nearby. “I told you not to go there, Asher! I knew there was a chance you'd disobey me, but I never thought you'd be so foolish as to stray too far from the building! Do you realize how lucky you are that we even found you? If it wasn't for the military chip that's still in your shoulder, you'd have been slaughtered by those savages! Don't worry, though. We killed them all. Except for a child, anyway. We took her for evaluation, but she seemed mentally broken.”
“Please,” I gasp, although I don't know if she'll be able to understand me. There's so much blood in the back of my throat, I feel like I'm drowning, “let me...”
“I'm taking charge of you now,” she says firmly. “You're going far away, you're going to the island. It's a risky strategy, I know, but I'm certain you'll be fine there. And you'll be out of the way. It's the one place where nobody can come and find you. Trust me, Asher, I'm doing this for your own good. You'll thank me one day and -”
“Let me forget,” I gasp.
“We have to get her into the operating theater immediately!” a man shouts.
“Wait!” Doctor Phillips hisses, as the trolley comes to a rest next to a set of double doors. “Asher, I'm not sure I -”
“Let me forget,” I gurgle, reaching up and grabbing her hands. There are tears in my eyes, and the pain is so strong. I think I might be about to pass out. “You told me I could forget it all. The war. The fear. The horror, the... Even Mads. You told me you could wipe my mind, and I'm begging you... I don't want to remember it anymore.”
She stares at me, clearly shocked, and then finally she nods.
“Okay,” she stammers. “Yes, Asher, I'll make sure you forget. You won't even remember this conversation, but let me just say one more thing.” She squeezes my hand tight. “I won't leave you there to rot on that miserable island,” she adds. “One day, when the time is right, I'll come for you. And when I do, it'll be because I have a job for you to do, it'll be because it's time for you to step up and fight. I've always had a plan for you, Asher. It's just taking a little longer than I expected, and it's going to be a little harder, but it'll work in the end. I promise. I'll see you again on the island.”
“Forget,” I whisper, “please...”
“We need to operate now!” the surgeons says firmly. “She's at risk of bleeding out!”
Doctor Phillips stares at me for a moment, before taking a step back.
“I'll give you revised instructions in a few minutes' times,” I hear her saying as I'm wheeled into the next room. “There's an additional procedure for you to carry out. It's very simple, it's completely standard, but I want it done right. Do you understand? None of your usual butchery. You have to be careful with her.”
“Just let me forget,” I whisper, as I feel a needle sliding into my neck. A moment later, I realize I'm losing consciousness. “I never want to remember ever again. I don't want to save anyone. I just want to be left alone...”
***
Today
I remember.
Sitting on the forest floor, with my back against a tree, I stare straight ahead as I relive those final moments over and over again. For the past ten years, I've been getting little scraps of my memory back, just a flake or two at a time, and I've been struggling to fit everything together. Now, finally, all my hard work and meditation has paid off, and I've managed to remember everything.
I remember Doctor Phillips.
I remember the battle at Talton V.
I remember Harold.
I remember my parents.
I remember being in the abyss.
And I remember Mads.
A solitary tear runs down my cheek, but I know I can't afford to wallow in these memories for too long. In my mind's eyes, I'm already reliving the moment of Mads' death over and over again, and my chest is tightening with sorrow. I could just sit here and think about her forever, but then I'd simply waste away. If Mads could see me now, she'd be telling me to get up off my ass and start moving.
She'd want me to fight.
“One day,” I hear Doctor Phillips whispering in my head, “when the time is right, I'll come for you. And when I do, it'll be because I have a job for you to do, it'll be because it's time for you to step up and fight. I've always had a plan for you, Asher. It's just taking a little longer than I expected, and it's going to be a little harder, but it'll work in the end. I promise. I'll see you again on the island.”
And now she's here.
I heard her voice last night, when I ventured close to Steadfall. After all these years, she's finally come here, which can only mean that she wants to make good on her promise to see me again. I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that I'm the reason for her arrival, but I still don't trust that woman, not for a second. She wants to use me for something, and I've had enough of being used by other people.
I need to -
Suddenly a scream rings out in the distance, and I scramble to my feet. As the scream continues, I realize it sounds like a young girl, and I felt a jolt of horror in my chest as I realize that as far as I know, there's only one young girl on this entire island.
It's Nissa.
My daughter's in trouble.
Setting off through the forest, I know I have to get to her before somebody tears her to pieces.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Iris
Today
I stop in a clearing and listen again, but now I can't hear Nissa at all.
She's out there somewhere. If anything has happened to her, I'll never forgive myself.
Chapter Thirty
Asher
Racing through the forest, I slam against several trees but I force myself to keep going. It's been several minutes now since I last hear Nissa crying out, but I know she can't be more than a mile away. I have to find her. I have to save her, even if -
Suddenly my foot catches on a trailing root and I fall, landing hard against another tree and letting out a cry of pain as I slump to the ground.
I immediately start hauling myself, while desperately trying to catch my breath, but then I realize that maybe I need to stay quiet for a moment so I can actually hear whether Nissa's nearby. I wait, but I can hear my own heart pounding in my chest as I turn and look at the forest all around. My daughter's out there somewhere and she's in danger, but if she's fallen silent...
That can only mean one thing.
She can't scream anymore.
Stepping forward, I trample across the grass before stopping again. My instinct is to run, but running is too loud. I need to stay calm and listen for something – anything – that'll let me know where I can find Nissa. I want to call out, but I also know it would be dangerous to announce my arrival too early. We're far enough from Steadfall for there to be some nasty people in this part of the forest, and the thought of my daughter being dragged away is enough to send wave after wave of panic through my chest.
And then I hear a brief, faint cry.
It's her.
Crashing through the forest, I hurry to the edge of a nearby clearing and look around again. Just as I'm starting to think that I might have lost her, I hear a set of grunts from nearby. I immediately reach down and take the knife from my belt, and then I set off between the trees. There's no limit to the horrors that exist in this forest, and even in the space of a few minutes Nissa could get seriously hurt.
Suddenly she screams again.
She's alive.
Following the sound, I finally spot something moving in the distan
ce. I race between the trees, until finally I spill out onto a rocky outcrop that overlooks a steep drop.
“Help me!” Nissa shouts, backing toward the edge of the drop as a large figure tries to grab her again.
The figure turns to me, and I immediately see that it's a man with human bones tied around his body like some kind of homemade armor. There's a human rib-cage around his head, obscuring most of his features, but I can just about make out a pair of eyes peering at me from between two of the ribs. He lets out a grunt and starts coming toward me, causing the bones to rattle all over his body. Whoever this guy is, he's come up with a pretty neat way to use the bodies of his victims, and he must be pretty strong to carry all that extra weight.
“Leave her alone!” I yell, raising my knife. “You're not -”
Before I can finish, he lunges at me, swinging his own knife wildly.
I step out of the way easily enough, but in the process I feel a creaking pain in my right ankle. It's been a while since I got into a fight, and I've got plenty of old injuries that never quite healed properly. A guy like this would have been easy to take down when I was younger and fitter, but now I'm not so sure.
The man mumbles something, but his voice is muffled by the bone armor.
“You want to hurt a child?” I stammer, as I try to figure out a way to push this guy off the edge of the outcrop and send him tumbling to the rocky ground below. “Why don't you come at me first?”
He mumbles a reply and swings at me again. I manage to get out of the way, but again I feel a sliver of pain, this time in my chest. I also can't help noticing that I'm moving more slowly than before, which I guess is my body's way of letting me know that it's no longer in the best shape.
Suddenly the bone-armored man comes at me again, and this time I duck as he swings the knife. Before he has a chance to try again, I slide my own knife between the bones that cover his chest, and I think I feel the blade slicing into his skin. He lets out an anguished cry, but the bones are stopping me twisting the knife, which means I have to pull it out and stab him again. As I try to do that, however, my wrists seem to lock for a moment as an old injury flares, and I'm just a fraction of a second too slow.