by Amy Cross
I pat her shoulder and indicate that we should follow, but she hesitates.
“We don't even know we can trust her,” she points out.
I nod.
“Does that mean we can trust her,” she asks, “or that you agree we don't know?”
Sighing, I nudge her shoulder again, and this time she starts walking.
Asher is already a fair way ahead, leading us through the rain toward some kind of cave system where we can take shelter. And as the storm intensifies and thunder rumbles high above, I can't help worrying that sooner or later Nissa might guess the truth. If that happens, she's going to be devastated by the realization that her mother has been alive for all these years.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Asher
“No,” I reply, realizing that I have to explain it one more time, “there's no way to make the sea water drinkable. Not with the equipment we've got here, anyway. So what we -”
“But they have things that can do it on the mainland?” Nissa asks, interrupting me.
“Yes, but -”
“So why can't we make those things here?”
“We don't have the resources.”
“Why not?”
“We just don't. Listen, there are -”
“Do you know how they work?”
“How what work?”
“How the things that do it work,” she continues. “If you know how they work, you must be able to build them here.”
“They have a lot of stuff on the mainland that we don't have here,” I tell her with a sigh.
“Like what?”
“Like...”
Hesitating, I realize that describing the mainland to Nissa would be an impossible task. I don't even know how I'd begin, and I'd probably only end up confusing her. Besides, it's not like she's ever going to go there, so there's no need for her to hear about huge tower blocks and rapid transport systems and all the trappings of the so-called modern world. It's best to hide all that stuff from her.
“Can I go to the mainland some day?” she asks.
“Well, I -”
“Can I, Iris?” she adds, peering past me.
Sighing again, I realize that she sees Iris as some kind of mother figure, which I guess is natural. After all, Iris has been around for her whole life, whereas I gave birth to her and then I walked away from Steadfall.
“I want to see it,” Nissa continues, turning back to me. “I got some of the others to describe it, but I think they were lying. They said there are huge buildings that rise up into the sky with thousands and thousands of lights. And there are big machines that fly about, and people can go into those machines and get taken to places. And there are things called computers, and computers can think even faster than people, and -”
“Slow down,” I reply, holding a hand up to calm her a little. “Some of that stuff's real, but it all comes at a cost. You have to live by a certain set of rules, and those rules were written by terrible people.”
“What makes them terrible?”
“That would take all day to explain,” I reply, before taking my home-made leaf cup and holding it out into the rain that's still crashing down. “Let's just focus on simple things, like collecting rain water.”
“Rain water's boring.”
Sighing, I turn to her.
“It is!” she continues. “I want to go to the mainland! Maybe not today, but soon, and I want to see everything they've got there. And sure, I'll probably want to come back here to the island when I'm done, but don't you think that I at least deserve a chance to take a look?”
“It's not about what you deserve,” I reply. “Trust me, the mainland isn't a place you want to visit. The people who live in the towers have their own system, and it works for them, but there's no freedom.”
“What's freedom?” she asks.
“This. What we have here.”
“But we have nothing here,” she points out. “We have dirt.”
“You've got to -”
“Trust you,” she adds, interrupting me, “I know, you keep saying that. But what about the people who don't live in the towers? What about the people who live at the bottom, in the shadows of the towers? I heard someone talk about them once. It's a place called the abyss and -”
“Let's not talk about the abyss,” I reply.
“And then there are places away from the towers,” she continues. “Aren't they called slums? I want to see them!”
“Trust me, you don't.”
“But I want to make my own mind up!” she says firmly. “I want to at least see what those places are like!”
A rumble of thunder fills the air, and I turn to look out across the forest. Rain is falling harder and faster than ever, and the sky is darkening as evening approaches. At this rate, we're going to be stuck here in the cave system for the night, and that means I'll have to start a fire.
“Wait and see,” Nissa continues. “One day I'll go and see the rest of the world, and you can't stop me. Nobody can.”
I open my mouth to tell her she's wrong, but at that moment there's a brief flash of lightning. And in that flash, the shadows fall differently across Nissa's face, and I see somebody else's features staring back at me with absolute defiance.
“I have to get some wood,” I stammer, clambering to my feet.
“You know I'm right,” Nissa says firmly. “I'll see the mainland one day.”
“Maybe,” I mutter, heading further back into the cave so I can check whether we have enough kindling to get a fire started. Crouching down, I take a look, but a moment later Iris comes over and kneels next to me.
As I work, I can't help realizing that she's waiting for me to say something.
“It was her face,” I whisper finally, before glancing past her to make sure that Nissa can't overhear us. After a few seconds, I turn to Iris again. “She looks like me, but a few seconds ago the light changed and...”
I feel a shudder pass through my chest.
“For a fraction of a second,” I continue, “she looked like her father. She looked like Harold.”
Iris pauses, before nodding.
“He's as much a part of her as I am,” I point out, “and that means...”
I was about to say that it means she can't be trusted, that it means she has darkness in her heart, but I know it's wrong to say such things about a nine-year-old girl. At the same time, even a faint hint of Harold's face was enough to make me feel nauseous. For a moment back there, I was starting to think that maybe I could spend a little more time with Nissa, but now those thoughts are well and truly forgotten. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at her again, not without seeing that hint of Harold in her face.
This is just more proof that I'm not good around people. That I just cause bad things to happen.
“I'm going to start a fire,” I tell Iris finally. “As soon as the rain stops, you and Nissa have to get out of here and head back to Steadfall. For good.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Iris
By the time darkness has fallen and Asher has finished building a fire, a massive storm has broken across the island. Thunder rumbles almost constantly, and flashes of forked lightning briefly light the sky, silhouetting the tops of the trees against the night sky.
Nissa is sitting in the entrance, almost in the driving rain, watching the storm.
“The rainy season's coming early this year,” Asher points out as she tosses some more wood onto the fire. “You're going to have to watch out for flooding. How are you doing with the project to reduce the amount of mud in the main part of the settlement?”
She turns to me, and I nod.
“Good,” she continues. “Remember that storm a few years ago? It damn near set us back an entire year in terms of building the town up.”
I nod again.
“Just because I'm not there anymore,” she adds, “doesn't mean I don't care. I keep an eye on the place, just to see how things are going. Don't worry, though. Nobody ever sp
ots me. As far as the people of Steadfall are concerned, I've been...”
She glances toward Nissa, as if she's suddenly worried about being overheard.
“I was right, you know,” she continues finally, leaning closer to me. “Steadfall didn't need me. Nobody needed me. I was uncomfortable being a leader, and the only way to escape was to fake my death. I'm more use to that place as a symbol, than I ever was as an actual living, breathing person. If that makes me sound big-headed, then so be it. I've seen the evidence with my own eyes, Iris. Steadfall looks peaceful these days, and calm. If I'd stayed, I would have only ended up ruining it.”
I shake my head.
“I'm never going back,” she adds. “I'm not -”
Suddenly she looks past me, and I can immediately tell that something's wrong. I follow her gaze, just as a flash of lightning fills the air outside.
Nissa's gone.
Asher and I both scramble over to the entrance. It's impossible to see anything out there, but a moment later another flash of lightning allows me to very briefly spot Nissa clambering down the rocks that leads back to the forest.
I place a hand on Asher's shoulder, to let her know that I can handle this, and then I hurry out into the rain. Taking care to not slip on the wet rocks, I manage to make my way down to the forest floor. Another flash of lightning fills the sky, and I see that Nissa is only a few feet away.
Hurrying up behind her, I place a hand on her shoulder.
She spins around, letting out a shocked gasp as she sees me.
“What do you want?” she yells. “I'm going to explore!”
I shake my head.
“I don't like her!” she continues, looking back up toward the cave entrance. “Maybe you like her, but I don't! There's something creepy about her. I don't know what it is, but she just makes my skin crawl.” She pauses for a moment. “What's her name, anyway?”
I shake my head.
“Right,” she adds, “what's the point in asking you anything? All you can do is nod and shake your head and flap your hands about.”
I place a hand on her shoulder, hoping she'll calm down, but she immediately pulls away.
“I'm not going back in there with that woman!” she says firmly. “I don't like her, and you can't make me go anywhere near her!”
I shake my head.
“There's something wrong with her!” she yells, loud enough that I think perhaps Asher might hear her. “I can feel it in my bones! She's not a good person and I don't want her coming to Steadfall!”
Turning, I look back up toward the cave entrance. For a moment, I spot Asher standing in the light of the fire, but then she turns and steps back into the shadows. I turn back to Nissa, just as another flash of lightning streaks across the night sky.
“What was that?” Nissa asks, looking past me.
Following her gaze, I realize she's staring up toward the sky.
“I saw something up there,” she continues, her voice filled with a sense of wonder. “It was like a kind of light that wasn't supposed to be there. I've never seen anything like it before.”
I take hold of her arm, hoping to guide her back into the cave. We're already soaking wet out here, and I'm freezing.
“There was something in the sky,” Nissa says cautiously. “I saw it!”
I shake my head.
“Wait!” she continues. “Look! You'll see!”
I try to pull her back toward the cave, but she slips free and continues to stare up at the sky.
Following her gaze again, I look up but all I see are the tops of nearby tress swaying in the increasingly violent storm. This whole situation is ridiculous and I'll be lucky if I'm dry by morning. I can hear a vast roar from the forest, as strong winds batter the trees, but I honestly can't share Nissa's childish fascination with the storm. I've lived through so many rainy seasons here on the island, and they long ago lost their fascination.
Suddenly there's another flash of lightning, and I'm shocked to see a dark shape moving slowly across the sky.
“Did you see it this time?” Nissa asks, tugging my arm.
I wait, but now all I see is the pouring rain. Still, I'm certain I saw something, and a moment later there's another jagged bolt of lightning.
A heli-mag carrier.
There's a heli-mag carrier coming along the island's western side, and the fact that it has all its lights off means it must be trying to run in stealth mode. I remember many years ago when the first all-weather carriers were announced, it was suggested by the government that their primary operation would be in situations where nobody would expect them to be coming, and this storm sure seems like one of those situations.
Another flash of lighting briefly fills the sky, and this time I see that the carrier is starting to land. At this rate, it should set down about three miles away.
“What is it?” Nissa asks, tugging my sleeve again. “Iris, I'm scared. There was something dark moving through the sky. Do you know what it is?”
“It's a heli-mag carrier,” Asher says suddenly, and I turn to see that she's right behind us.
“What's a heli-mag carrier?” Nissa asks.
“It's something from the mainland,” she explains, with fear in her voice. “It's something that hasn't been to the island in almost ten years. And whoever's onboard, the fact that it's landing means it's bringing trouble.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Asher
“You have to get Nissa as far away from here as possible,” I tell Iris as I gather my weapons in the cave. “Do you understand? I don't want her anywhere near whatever's about to happen.”
I attach three daggers to my belt, before adding a fourth. As I do so, my wrist briefly fills with pain. Even now, as I assemble some basic tools, I can feel that my body isn't in great shape. It's been ten years since I had to really move fast, and I know I'm not in good condition.
“Do you understand me?” I continue, turning to Iris and putting my hands on her shoulders. “You can't take her to Steadfall. Their landing site was way too close to the town for comfort, so you can't risk going back there.”
She hesitates for a moment, before nodding.
“It might be safe for you to stay here for a while,” I add. “You're fairly hidden, and I've already set up a water collection system. If the storm -”
At that moment, another flash of lightning fills the sky. I briefly see Nissa standing at the cave's entrance, staring out across the forest.
Turning back to Iris, I see that she too is looking toward Nissa.
“Listen to me,” I continue, trying not to panic. “I need you to keep Nissa safe. I need you to do this for me.”
She turns to me and nods.
“I heard what she said,” I add. “I know what she thinks about me, and that's fine. Maybe it's better that way. Don't ever tell her who I am. Or who I was. After I've checked out what these assholes are doing on the island, I'll go back to simply watching from afar.” I pause for a moment, and I can see the fear in Iris's eyes. “This isn't going to be good,” I point out. “If the government has sent soldiers to the island, it means something really bad is about to go down. And they landed close to Steadfall, using the storm as cover. That's not a coincidence.”
The storm rumbles, and for a moment I can't help trying to figure out what the intruders' next move is going to be.
“Phillips brought them,” I say finally. “That must be it. As soon as I heard she was on the island, I knew she had to be up to something. You should have cut her goddamn throat as soon as you saw her.”
Iris pauses, and then she nods again.
“And now I have to go,” I mutter, grabbing one final knife and slotting it into my belt, before heading over to the cave's entrance.
Stopping for a moment, I look down at Nissa. I feel like I should say something to her, something that might make her feel less scared, but I wouldn't even know where to begin. She's looking up at me with an expression of deep suspicion, and it's clear that she's
sensed something 'off' about me. To be honest, I don't blame her. So finally, without saying another word, I hurry out into the rain.
***
After walking through the forest for a couple of hours, I'm drenched by the time I get to the rocky outcrop that marks the edge of Steadfall territory. The rocks are wet and slippery, but I manage to clamber over them in the dark before slithering down and landing in a patch of mud. Cold water is already soaking through my clothes, and I'm shivering slightly, but I know I have to keep going.
And then, suddenly, I hear voices nearby.
Staying completely still, I watch as two dark figures make their way between the trees. I can't really see them properly, but the way they're walking makes it clear that they're wearing body armor. I can hear them talking, too, although the rain is too loud for me to make out any of the words. Still, it's obvious that they're two of the soldiers who arrived with the carrier, and a moment later a brief flash of lightning allows me to see that they're alone. They must have been sent this way as part of some advance unit, and they're heading straight toward Steadfall.
Once they've gone past me, I get to my feet and start walking after them.
The storm is my friend right now, with rain lashing down and making it impossible for anyone to hear me. Ahead, the soldiers are speaking to one another only occasionally, and they're having to really shout to be heard. One of the soldiers is falling back a little, evidently struggling to get his boots free from the mud. He's only a few feet behind the other soldier, but that's more than enough for me. I'm almost close enough to touch his shoulder now, and I can hear his muffled voice as he tries to talk to his friend.
He has a rifle slung over his shoulder.
I need that rifle.
I slip a knife from my belt.
Grabbing the soldier from behind, I hold the knife up and ram it into the gap between his helmet and his neck-piece. When the blade bumps harmlessly against something hard, however, I realize that there's something covering the gap. I quickly snap the soldier's head back and force him to the ground, and then I wrap my arms around his head and twist as hard as I can manage. I hear a faint, muffled cry, accompanied by a brief snapping sound that cuts him off short, and then I wait for a moment just in case there's still any life left in him.