“Just say good night to your friends and meet me in the car.”
Chapter Five
Megan was painfully quiet all the way back to the ranch. Every time Nick tried to make conversation, she shut him down, and it was driving him crazy. He needed to know what she was thinking, how she was feeling, and whether she had any regrets about leaving with him instead of Carver.
Nick looked up at the two-story stone and cedar home he’d built on the ‘Triple M’ property five years ago, after he’d won his first Kentucky Derby. That’s when he knew his life had changed forever. He’d been involved in horse racing and breeding since he was a child, learning everything he could from his grandfather, but that was the moment the world took notice and realized that kid from Tennessee was the one to watch. He’d been earning their respect and millions of dollars a year since.
“Your home is beautiful, Nick.”
“Come in. Let me show you around.”
She’d never ventured so close to his home before, but he suddenly wanted her to come inside, to see how beautiful she would look against the moonlight filtering through the floor to ceiling windows.
“I really should get to bed. I have a big day tomorrow.”
“Why don’t you come in for a nightcap? You’re home now. You don’t have to worry about drivin’ any farther.” His parents’ house was a fair distance from his, but he would gladly walk her home… unless he convinced her to stay with him.
“This isn’t my home, Nick. You’re the one who keeps reminding me of that.”
He hated the sadness in her voice. It made him feel like a monster, knowing his rush to judgement had caused it. “I’m sorry for all those things I said when you came to town, Meg. I was way out of line.” He reached for her hand. “Forgive me?”
“No.”
He wasn’t surprised. A woman like Megan, who’d obviously traveled a difficult path to get where she was, wouldn’t forgive easily. But he hoped she would eventually forgive him.
Megan said, “I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear. I don’t want to fight with you. I know the tension between us hasn’t been easy on your family, and I wouldn’t hurt them for anything, but I can’t trust you just because you tell me I can. A person has to earn my trust, and that isn’t easy. In fact, I’m not sure you would even think it was worth the effort.”
“I do.” He raised her hand so he could brush his lips over her knuckles. “Whatever it takes, I’m determined to earn your trust.”
“Why?” She turned to face him.
“I wish I could explain it, but I can’t. Something about you… something about the way you make me feel.”
She withdrew her hand from his and gripped the steering wheel instead. “I have so many reasons to distrust you. You’ve made no secret of the fact you want me out of your parents’ house. I’m dating a man you despise, and I know you think I’m trying to work my way into your family through your parents, Anna, J.T., your friends…”
“You’re right.” He knew she expected him to defend himself, but she was right. Her reasons for questioning his motives were valid, and she was too smart to ignore them simply because their physical chemistry was undeniable. “You have every reason not to trust me.”
She looked at him a long time before she said, “What could I possibly hope to gain by manipulating your family? I came to Nashville because of my father…” She sighed. “But I know you don’t believe that.”
“Tell me what happened when you saw him.” When she’d shared the story at his parents’ dinner table, Nick ridiculed her. He’d give anything to start over from the day they first met.
“I don’t want to talk about him.”
He couldn’t blame her. “How about that drink? Brandy sounds good, or maybe liqueur or a glass of wine? Whatever you like.” Anything to buy him a few more precious minutes with her.
“Maybe one more glass of wine. I’m tired, but I doubt I can sleep.”
He walked around to her side of the car, but she was already getting out without his help. Not that he was surprised. She’d sent him the same message ever since they met: I don’t need anyone. But he wanted her to need someone, and he wanted that someone to be him.
Nick led her up the stone walkway, and the motion lights came on, illuminating the path to the wraparound porch.
“I love how quiet it is out here,” she whispered. She stood still and tipped her head back to look at the stars blanketing the sky.
He watched her taking in one of the simple pleasures he’d always enjoyed, and he wondered if there was another side to her he had yet to see. Would she enjoy riding bareback with him, putting the top down on his convertible and letting the wind whip through her hair as they blared their favorite country tunes? Would she laugh when he got a little mud on the tires four-wheeling, or when he surprised her with a picnic down by the lake on her birthday? Would she ooh and aah when the Fourth of July fireworks lit up the sky, or did she need red carpets, limousines, and flashing cameras to make her life complete?
She tore her attention away from the night sky long enough to look at him. “You probably think I’m silly. You’ve grown up out here, so you’re used to all this, but for me, it’s… different.” She reached for the hand railing that led up the stairs.
He covered her hand with his, refusing to lose the moment. “Different how? Good or bad?”
“You have a beautiful home, great friends and family…” She swallowed. “You’re lucky, Nick. You’re doing what you love, and you love the people you’re with.”
“Especially right now,” he whispered, shifting his body until she was pinned. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here with you.”
“You’re so handsome. You make it so easy to…” She stroked his jaw. “I saw all those women hovering around you tonight. They’ve probably known you forever. They understand what it means to be a part of your world. I haven’t got a clue.”
“It means workin’ hard, playin’ hard, helpin’ the people you care about when they need you…” He was stunned when a tear slid down her cheek. “Hey, what’s wrong? What did I say?”
“Nothing. Your attitude toward family.” She sniffled. “It’s just nice, that’s all.”
“Tell me about your family.” He wrapped his arms around her. He let her turn her head, hiding her face in his chest.
“What family? It was just me and my mom, and she wasn’t around much. She got enough money from her sperm donor to send me away to school, so that’s what she did.”
Nick noticed she no longer referred to Manny Moore as her father. The man’s rejection must have hurt her deeply to earn the title of sperm donor. “You said she passed away recently?”
She nodded.
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
“There’s not much to tell,” she said quietly. “Instead of going to the doctor before it was too late, she lived in denial. I think she was worried her boyfriend would dump her if he found out she was sick. Holding on to him was more important than saving her own life.”
He heard the bitterness, but also a trace of sadness she couldn’t hide. “You must miss her.”
“Not really. I know that may sound harsh, but we never had a real relationship. It was kind of ironic. I was always a burden to her, and that’s what she became to me in the end.”
Nick swallowed the heartache he felt on her behalf. Abandoned by her father and a burden to her mother. It was difficult for him to even fathom. “Were you and Brock still together when your mother passed away?”
“Yes, but we were already past the point of no return by the time she died. I think we both knew it was over, but it was still tough to end it.”
“Did you love him?” Nick held his breath, waiting for her response. He knew hoping she hadn’t, that she had been saving her heart for the right man, was illogical, but he wanted her to say no.
“He was a good man.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.” Hearing her
talk about a man she’d once promised to spend her life with shouldn’t elicit so much anger and frustration in Nick, but it did.
“Did I love Brock?” She sighed. “Not the way he needed me to.”
“How did he need you to love him?” He didn’t want Megan to love another man in any way, and knowing how close he was to losing her to the one man he despised more than any other was gut-wrenching.
“With my whole heart,” she whispered, looking up at him. “I just couldn’t do it. I’ve never loved anyone with my whole heart, not even myself.”
Her honesty startled him. “You have so much goin’ for you, Meg. You’re beautiful, smart, successful. You should be damn proud of yourself, especially since you’ve had to do it all alone.”
“Real pride doesn’t come from how much money you make or whether you get your face on TV. It comes from all the things you talked about earlier: being a good person, a good friend, doing work that matters.” She rested her palm against his heart.
He tipped her chin with his index finger. “Hey, don’t sell yourself short. You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and you’re damn good at what you do.”
Megan looked him in the eye a long time before she said, “But you think I slept my way to the top, don’t you, Nick?”
He sucked in a breath, taken aback by her direct question.
“That’s what I thought.” She turned away, and he grabbed her wrist.
“Damn it, don’t go.” He tugged her back against his chest and thrust his hands into her hair. He didn’t ask permission or give her a chance to object, he just kissed her. He poured every ounce of confusion and frustration he’d felt since the second he laid eyes on her into that kiss… and she answered him in kind.
She laced her arms around his neck as he boosted her up to wrap her legs around his waist. He navigated the few steps without tearing his mouth from hers. Pinning her against his front door, their hunger and passion merged until he couldn’t tell where his ended and hers began. He’d never wanted a woman, never needed to satisfy a physical and emotional impulse, that badly.
“I need you,” he groaned, tearing his lips away long enough to find the curve of her neck. He lowered the strap of her dress and grazed her soft skin with his teeth before kissing and licking the slight abrasion.
“Nick, we have to stop.” She pinned her arms against the door, almost as though she couldn’t give herself permission to keep touching him.
“No, we don’t.” Stopping was the last thing on his mind. He’d die before he’d take more than a woman was willing to give him, but the thought of stopping nearly had him begging for mercy. “Please, just give me a chance. Let me love you.”
She pushed against his shoulders with more strength than he imagined she possessed. Her eyes were shuttered with an emotion he couldn’t begin to understand. “You don’t want to love me. You want to have sex with me! You want my body, nothing more!”
He was too stunned to respond. She struggled to break free. Letting her go was harder than he imagined, but he didn’t have a choice. When they finally made love, and he knew they would, he wanted her to want him with the same ferocity he felt.
“You’re wrong.” He kissed her hand, trying to diffuse some of her anger with a gentle touch. “I want so much more than that. I want to know what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, and who hurt you so deeply you can’t even imagine lettin’ me love you.”
“Why are you doing this? How can you go from hating me to wanting to sleep with me? It doesn’t make sense.”
He kneeled to look her in the eye, and he held her shoulders to prevent her from fleeing. “You’re right. We don’t make sense. I’m horses and pickup trucks. You’re Hollywood parties and A-list celebrities. I’m beer and pretzels, you’re champagne and caviar. We don’t make sense, what we feel for each other doesn’t make a damn bit of sense, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real.”
“I can’t do this.”
“You can’t pretend this isn’t happenin’.” Even as he said it, he was terrified she would try to do exactly that: pretend she felt nothing for him.
“Shaw-”
“Isn’t the man for you.” He knew she’d mentioned Carver to get him riled up and take the focus off of them and the feelings she wasn’t ready to acknowledge. “We both know that.”
“How do I know I’m not part of your strategy to one up him, to throw him off his game?”
It was a legitimate question, and it made him nervous because he didn’t have the answer to assuage her fears. “This isn’t about him. You’ve gotta believe that.”
“Why? Why should I believe you?”
He pressed her hand against his erratically pounding heart. “You may not believe this, but I don’t lie, and I don’t tolerate liars.”
She looked at their joined hands instead of looking him in the eye.
“Do you feel that? That’s what fear feels like. I’m scared to death you’re gonna walk outta my life without ever givin’ this a chance.” He’d never been as honest with a woman, never felt he had so much to lose, or so much to gain.
“I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I want you to be brave. There are no guarantees. I can’t make any promises, and I won’t ask you to either. What you have with Carver, or what you could have, is safe. It doesn’t make you wanna run and hide, does it?”
“No.”
“But what you feel for me…?”
“Terrifies me.”
He couldn’t have hoped for a better or worse response. At least he wasn’t alone, but just because she’d acknowledged her feelings didn’t mean she would face her fear. He had to figure out how to make her believe their love could be worth it.
“It terrifies me too, Meg.” He held her tight. “I don’t know you, not really. But I do know I want to get to know you better than anyone ever has. I was wrong to judge you, and my gut tells me that before this is over, I’m gonna be down on my knee-”
She wouldn’t let him finish. She flattened her fingers against his lips. “Don’t do that. Don’t start talking about the future. My future isn’t in Nashville. It’s in L.A. All of my opportunities are there, and as soon as my contract is over, I’ll be on the first plane back there.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” He waited, hoping to see some sign of hesitation, but the emphatic shake of her head told him she was either a damn good actress or their developing feelings weren’t strong enough to make her question her course.
“I’m positive.”
***
Megan thought about canceling her lunch date with J.T., but she knew she would see him at Ty’s party that evening, so postponing the inevitable seemed senseless.
“Hey, beautiful,” J.T. said, coming out from behind the bar. “I was beginnin’ to think you’d changed your mind. Nikki just called and said she had a break in her schedule, so I invited her to join us. I hope that’s okay?”
“Of course.” Megan liked Nikki, and she welcomed the opportunity to get to know her better. Her time with celebrities in L.A. had been limited to scheduled interviews or impromptu questions on the red carpet. Getting to know them on a personal level, the way she had since coming to Nashville, was nice.
Before moving, she hadn’t been a big fan of country music and didn’t know a lot about the major players. She’d made it a point to immerse herself in the culture so she could do her job to the best of her ability. She hoped her time in Nashville would lead to other opportunities when she returned to L.A., assuming a leak about her past didn’t ruin her future.
“She was just around the corner when she called, so she should be here in a few. Why don’t we grab a table while we wait?” The lunch crowd was slowly filtering in, so J.T. told the hostess they would take the last booth in the back of the seating area. He said to Megan, “It’s a little quieter back there. The workin’ guys usually come in to catch the sports highlights durin’ their lunch breaks, so the bar area can get loud.”
&
nbsp; “Have you owned Jimmy’s a long time?” Megan asked, sliding into the booth. She smiled her thanks when the waitress passed her a menu.
“Feels like forever,” he said, chuckling. “Truth is, I was a bull rider comin’ to the end of my career when I met Nikki. I was pretty lost and didn’t know which direction to take. The old owners, Jimmy and Edna, were lookin’ to move on. I didn’t know shit about business, but I had a few bucks in the bank and no other plans, so I thought, why not?”
“Avery mentioned the ranch has been in your family a long time. You weren’t interested in carrying on that tradition?”
“Not really. I did it for a while, but it wasn’t in my blood.” He laughed. “My nephew’s a different story. That boy loves it.”
“I can tell.” They placed their drink orders with the waitress. J.T. made sure to order something for Nikki.
“Nick is damn good at what he does. Ty bought back the land my parents sold when Nick took an interest. Turns out he made the right call. That ranch is more profitable now than it’s ever been, and those horses…” J.T. whistled. “Hell, if I’d known there was that much money to be made, I may have taken a stab at it myself. Of course, it’s not easy. You have to be the best, and Nick is. The best of the best, in fact.”
Megan didn’t know a lot about horse racing or breeding, but she knew the business had made a lot of people very wealthy. Evidently Nick was one of those people. She found it interesting he wasn’t flashy, like the wealthy men she’d dated in the past. He was comfortable wearing torn jeans, scuffed cowboy boots, and riding around in a dirty old pickup truck. He didn’t wear jewelry, perhaps because it was an occupational hazard, but she suspected he just didn’t feel the need to impress anyone. And that did impress her. A lot.
“There she is,” J.T. said, getting up when he spotted his wife.
The elation on J.T.’s face caused Megan’s usual cynicism to recede. Nikki and J.T. had been together a long time, and they obviously still adored each other. Much like Ty and Avery. Maybe soul mates did exist.
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