“I can’t believe he did this. He shouldn’t have.”
“No, he shouldn’t have. You don’t owe me anything, Megan. If anything, I owe you… an apology. I was angry at your mother, and myself, and I took that out on you. I’m sorry.”
Megan was still reeling from Nick’s act of kindness. She didn’t know how much more she could take in one day. “I don’t want anything from you. I never did. I want to repay the money but not like this.” She reached into her purse and extracted the envelope she’d intended to mail later that day. “Here. This is the first payment. It’s important to me that I repay my debts. I can’t let Nick do it for me. I hope you understand.”
Manny reached for the envelope and Nick’s check. He tore both in half. “I don’t want your money, and I don’t want your boyfriend’s money. I don’t expect us to be able to have a relationship after everything’s that happened, but I sure as hell won’t accept money for supporting you while you were growin’ up. That was my obligation.” He shook his head. “No, that was my honor.”
Tears pricked the back of her eyes, though she would die before she would let them fall. “I wish you’d reconsider.”
He got to his feet. “I won’t. If you try to send me another check, I’ll only tear it up, so save yourself the trouble.” He offered a sad smile. “Maybe someday we can get to know each other a little better, Megan.”
“I don’t think so.” Too much had happened for her to ever believe he could love her.
“I understand.” He tossed the paper into the wastebasket beside her desk. “I wish you well.”
Chapter Nine
Megan was shaking by the time she pulled up in front of Nick’s house that evening. She didn’t know what she wanted to say or how she intended to say it, but she had to acknowledge what he had tried to do for her.
She stood on the porch ringing the doorbell for a long time before he finally answered. One look at his damp hair, the water running down his chest, and the black towel knotted at his waist told her he’d just gotten out of the shower.
He grinned. “Hey, baby, this is a nice surprise. I was gonna come up to the main house, but if you wanna hang out here, that’s even better.” He stepped back, allowing her to enter. “Come on in.”
“I can wait while you get dressed.” She nervously adjusted the purse strap on her shoulder.
He laughed as he pulled her into his arms. “You’re gonna get shy on me all of a sudden?”
Nick smelled so good, like minty mouthwash and a delicious spicy body wash. “We have to talk.”
His sexy dimpled grin was all it took to make her heart skip a beat. Damn him. No man had the right to be so tempting without even trying.
“I’m listenin’.”
“Why don’t you… uh… go and put some clothes on? I can wait.” That would give her a chance to practice breathing. Sometime after he opened the door, she seemed to have forgotten how to inhale without getting lost in his delectable scent.
“I’d rather not.” He lowered his head, grazing her neck with his teeth. “In fact, I’d like to lose this towel. And as hot as you are in business mode, I’d much rather see you wearin’ nothin’ at all.” He reached for the zipper running down the back of her fitted black dress.
“Manny came to see me today. He told me what you did.”
He froze. “I didn’t expect him to do that.”
“I’m sure you didn’t. You wanna tell me what the hell you were thinking?”
He exhaled as he stepped back to give her some space. “I just wanted to buy you a little peace of mind. Is that so terrible?”
It was wonderful, but she couldn’t tell him how much she appreciated the gesture. “You had no right.”
“I care about you. That gives me the right.”
Feeling restless and uncertain, Megan paced the wood floor. Her high heels’ clicking was the only sound in the room. She tried to compartmentalize the feelings churning around inside of her. Gratitude. Disbelief. And something much more powerful and… alarming.
“Look, things are different in your world. I get that. You have a big extended family, lots of friends, and you always have each other’s backs. That’s nice, but that’s not my world. Where I grew up, you didn’t risk getting to know your neighbors. Friends passed through your life. Family was…”
“Was what, sweetheart? I want to know. I want to know what happened to make you feel you can’t count on anyone.”
She didn’t come here intending to share any part of her past with him, but the genuine concern in his eyes made shutting him out completely impossible. “Do you have any wine?” she asked, suddenly needing a drink to take the edge off.
He smiled. “Sure, there’re a few bottles of white in the fridge, red in the wine rack at the end of the counter. You can help yourself while I throw some clothes on.”
She was grateful he seemed to understand she needed to take her time. “Would you like wine too?”
“Actually, I think I’ll have a beer.”
“Okay.” She walked into the spacious open-concept kitchen and started rifling through the drawers looking for a corkscrew. She found a photo of a beautiful brunette wearing a tiny black bikini. Jealousy hit her hard and fast, like a sucker punch that knocked the wind out of her. She stared at the photo, wondering who this woman was to Nick. Was she an ex-girlfriend, someone he was currently seeing… was she in love with him? Did she hope to become his wife one day?
“Hey, did you…” Nick stopped in the doorway when he saw her staring at the photograph.
“She’s lovely,” Megan said, reaching for the corkscrew. Turning her back, she reached into the stainless steel fridge, hoping he couldn’t tell she was seething with possessiveness and dying to demand answers to questions she had no right to ask.
He straddled a stool at the breakfast bar and waited for her to turn around. “If you’re curious about her, you can just ask, you know.”
“I’m not.” Her hand shook as she tried to fit the spiral over the cork.
He folded his arms across the granite countertop and stared at her. “Okay, you don’t want to know. I won’t tell you.”
Megan knew he was testing her. Her pride told her to let it go, but her curiosity won out. “Fine. Tell me, who is she?”
“My ex-girlfriend Brandi.”
“Oh.” His ex-girlfriend. Translation: his ex-lover. “You kept her picture. You must still have feelings for her.”
He laced his fingers and leaned forward. “No. I stuck it in the drawer a long time ago and forgot it was even there.”
“If you say so.” Men threw away or burned pictures of their former wives and girlfriends.
“Meg,” he said, reaching for her hand. “She means nothing to me.”
“Whatever you say.” She pulled the cork out of the bottle before looking for a wine glass in the cupboards. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“We made love last night. I’d say that gives you the right to ask me about the women I’m seein’.”
She whirled around so fast she almost clipped her head on an open cupboard door. “You said you weren’t seeing anyone.”
He rested his chin in his palm as he tried to hide his smile behind his curled fingers. “I thought you didn’t care.”
“I don’t. What you do and who you see is your business.” She couldn’t believe she’d fallen right into his trap.
“That’s an argument for another day.”
She reached into the fridge for his beer before pouring a generous amount of wine into her glass.
Hoping for a neutral topic that wouldn’t prompt her to make a fool of herself again, she said, “Your home is beautiful.” His house was warm and inviting with high ceilings, plenty of natural light, warm tones, and dark, textured furniture. It was masculine, like him, but she could imagine a woman comfortably occupying the space as well.
She closed her eyes when she imagined herself standing at the counter, making her favorite dinner for the two of
them to share before they retired to his bedroom to enjoy each other. God, get a grip, Megan.
He reached for the opener and popped the top on his bottle. “What are you thinkin’? And don’t say nothin’. I can tell by that look in your eye that whatever it was made you happy.”
“Um, nothing. I was just thinking about an interview I did today. It went well.” She had had a great interview with record producer Drake Elliott that morning, but he wasn’t the reason for the heat coursing through her body. She licked her lips and prayed Nick couldn’t read her mind.
His blue eyes darkened. “You wanna try again?”
“Nick…”
He got up and rounded the counter.
“You were thinkin’ about us. What happened last night… or maybe you were fantasizin’ about goin’ into my bedroom and…” His words were lost as he kissed a path down her neck.
“Stop.” They both knew her words held no conviction. She didn’t want him to stop any more than he did.
He tipped his head back and looked her in the eye. “Is that really what you want?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know anymore. I’m so confused.” She rubbed her temple to stave off a tension headache.
He sighed. “Look, I’d never do anything you don’t want me to do. You know that. I’m crazy about you. Hell, you make me crazy, but I’m not gonna push. Take all the time you need to get used to the idea of us bein’ a couple.”
“But we’re not-”
He silenced her with a kiss that left no doubt about his intentions.
Nick was used to being in control, and he was obviously willing to employ every tactic in his arsenal to get what he wanted: her in his bed. Just the thought made Megan want to fan her face to stem the heat creeping through her body.
When he smiled, she was already drunk on his kisses, so his appeal rocked her to the core. “This isn’t fair,” she murmured, dropping her head. “Why do you have to be so damn sexy?”
He chuckled, the sound reverberating through his body and sending little chills through hers. “If you expect me to apologize for turnin’ you on, I won’t.”
“Can we just take a minute? I need to sit down.”
Nick held her hand and led her into the family room. He sat on the distressed leather sofa before coaxing her to join him. “Tell me about your day, aside from Manny’s visit. We can get into that later.”
“It was good. I interviewed Drake Elliott, the music producer. That went really well. He’s actually a very nice guy, in spite of his reputation as a tyrant.”
Nick tipped his beer bottle back. “How do you like the job so far?”
“Actually, I like it a lot more than I thought I would. In L.A., I was covering mostly actors and mainstream musicians for the show. I kind of like this niche.”
“Yet you couldn’t see yourself doin’ it long term?”
Megan knew he was fishing for information about her future plans, trying to convince her Nashville was the right place to put down roots. But in her business, Los Angeles was the place to be. She only hoped a year would buy her enough time for the industry to forget about her indiscretion with her last producer.
“I know what I want, where I want to be five, ten years from now. And it’s not here.”
Nick set his beer bottle down on the table and wedged his leg between hers. “Tell me about your long-term plan. What’ll your life look like when you finally have everything you want?”
She took a sip of her wine, then another. When she realized how good it was, she indulged in another. She needed time and liquid courage if she was going to answer his question honestly. “I want my own entertainment show on a major network. But I want more control, maybe producing or directing.”
“Interestin’.” He slid his arm along the back of the sofa and massaged her neck. “What else?”
“What else is there?” She closed her eyes and savored his gentle touch.
“Marriage, kids. You ever think about that?”
“Not really. When things didn’t work out with Brock, I realized I just wasn’t cut out for that. If I couldn’t make it work with him, chances of making it work with anyone are slim. He really was every woman’s fantasy, and yet, he wasn’t mine. What does that say about me?”
“That you’re not willin’ to settle. Logan wasn’t the right guy for you. Instead of goin’ through the motions and pretendin’ to be happy, you cut him loose. I admire that.”
She couldn’t think straight when he used his strong hands to manipulate her into a state of tranquility she hadn’t felt in a long, long time.
He shifted her body so her back was to him. He continued to massage further down her spine.
By the time he undid her zipper and slid the dress off her shoulders, she was too relaxed to object. “How does that feel?” he whispered.
“Amazing.” She felt his smile when he pressed his mouth to her bare shoulder.
“You know, just because Logan wasn’t your soul mate doesn’t mean he isn’t out there just waitin’ for you to realize how much you need him.”
“Don’t tell me you believe that there’s one person for everyone?” She rolled her head back, leaning into his touch.
“Don’t you?”
“No.”
If everyone was destined to find their life mate, her mother wouldn’t have died alone. She was right not to trust her boyfriend to stick around when he found out about her illness. As soon as she told him, he’d offered to give her the time and space she needed to heal. They both knew that would never happen.
“That’s just sad, Meg.”
It may be sad, but getting sucked into a delusion of happily ever after, only to find out it didn’t exist, would be sadder. Cynicism may not make sense to the optimists of the world, like Nick, but optimists would end up with broken hearts while hers remained safely guarded.
“I don’t think so.”
He continued to apply just the right pressure to manipulate her tense muscles into a state of pliancy most massage therapists would envy. “Why don’t we continue this on my bed, where you can stretch out and relax?”
The offer was almost too tempting to refuse. She’d kicked off her five-inch heels and let them fall to the floor. “I shouldn’t. In fact, I should probably get going.” They still hadn’t discussed the offer he’d made Manny on her behalf, but she knew if she stayed much longer, they wouldn’t talk at all.
“Come on, sweetheart. Just let me take care of you.”
Something in his soft plea made her heart swell. Perhaps it was the fact that he was the first man who had ever offered to take care of her. He looked close enough to understand she wasn’t quite as strong as she pretended.
“I…”
“Don’t overthink it,” he whispered, setting his hands on her waist and coaxing her to her feet. “You draw the lines, and I promise not to cross them.”
Megan knew he was telling her that they wouldn’t have sex again unless she wanted it, but didn’t he know she couldn’t resist him?
She followed him up the stairs to his bedroom. The light from the adjoining bathroom provided just enough illumination for her to tell his room was similar to the others she’d seen. Wood floors, high ceilings with wood beams, wall-to-wall windows with doors to a balcony. A fireplace was wedged into a corner of the small sitting area, and she imagined herself curled up with a good book and a cozy throw on a cool night. But of course, that would never happen because she didn’t intend to be a permanent fixture in Nick’s life.
He led her to a king-sized four-poster bed. “Why don’t you slip out of that dress? I can grab a T-shirt for you, if you like?”
“It’s okay.” Feigning modesty with a man who’d already been her lover seemed juvenile. She slid the dress off and let it fall to the floor. She unfastened her garter and rolled the silk stockings down without glancing in his direction to gauge his reaction. She still wore her black lace demi bra and matching thong when she finally found the courage to look up. The heat in his
gaze seared her, almost forcing her to look away. That would reveal weakness, so she forced herself to acknowledge his obvious desire while pretending his undivided attention didn’t turn her inside out.
“Climb up on the bed.” His voice was raspy, barely above a whisper.
Megan noticed several stairs leading up to the elevated bed. Since he was so tall, he didn’t need them. He must have installed them to accommodate women. Her stomach twisted painfully as she thought about all of the women he’d pleasured in his bed before her. At least at the hotel, they’d been on neutral territory. She knew feelings of jealousy and possessiveness didn’t belong within the confines of a casual affair, but she couldn’t seem to contain them.
“Hey, are you okay?” Nick asked.
Since she couldn’t divulge her concerns, she tried to quash them. She climbed the few stairs and positioned herself in the middle of the massive bed. She was grateful she had an excuse to lie on her stomach, with her head buried in a pillow so he couldn’t see her face.
Nick straddled her, careful to support his own weight, and he picked up where he’d left off downstairs. Within seconds, he rolled off and claimed the spot beside her.
She closed her eyes.
“What’s wrong? You’re as tense now as you were before I started workin’ on you. Tell me what’s got you wound so tight.”
How could she tell him the thought of him making love to other women made her feel physically sick? “I’m fine. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I should just go.”
His hand settled on the small of her back, and he started caressing her. “Whatever it is, just talk to me.”
He wouldn’t let it go, so she said, “It’s stupid. I have no right to…”
“What, Meg? You have no right to… what?”
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