“Isn’t gettin’ together with the people who mean the most to me reason enough?” He grinned when she poked him in the stomach.
“It makes me so happy to see you like this. Megan is perfect for you.” Alisa laid her head on his shoulder.
“She’s everything I ever wanted and probably a hell of a lot more than I deserve.”
Alisa laughed. “I can’t argue with that. I like her brother too. I wasn’t so sure about him at first, but he’s really grown on me.”
Stephan had worked hard to prove himself to Nick. He was the first one to work and the last one to leave. He shadowed the other guys, learning everything he could about working on a ranch. Nick hoped that by the time Joe retired next year, Stephan would be ready to step up and accept the job as his manager. “I agree.”
“Things still seem kind of tense between you and Manny though.”
“They are. He reached out to Meg when we got back to town. He seems sincere about wantin’ to build a relationship with her. If it makes her happy, I’ll find a way to deal with it.”
“But you don’t like the idea?” Alisa watched her son giggling and chasing the ball his daddy kicked around the open grassy area.
“I have a hard time warmin’ up to anyone’s who’s hurt the woman I love, Ali. If he proves to me, and more importantly to Meg, that he’s changed, we’ll be all right.”
“Speaking of parents, yours obviously love Megan.”
Nick smiled. “What’s not to love? She’s perfect.”
Alisa rolled her eyes. “Man, you have got it bad.”
“It feels good though. I just don’t wanna do anything to screw this up.” He plated several steaks and raised several others to the warming rack. “I want her to know how much I love her, that she’s the only woman I wanna be with, but I don’t want to push too hard.”
“That’s always a risk in a relationship. Sometimes one person takes a little longer to come around. Are you afraid Meg isn’t quite ready to promise you forever?”
That was exactly what he was afraid of, but he worried he would jinx himself if he admitted it aloud. “How do you know when it’s time to take the next step with someone?”
Alisa laughed. “You’re asking the wrong person. I married my husband a few hours after I met him, remember?”
“What made you do that? I mean, how’d you know Liam was the one for you?” Nick had no doubt Megan was destined to be his wife, but he couldn’t help recalling a time when she said she wasn’t interested in getting married at all after her experience with Brock.
They’d lived together since they returned to Nashville, but neither had talked about the future beyond the next few months. Megan told him she wanted to keep her condo in L.A. for a while just in case. That comment ignited a firestorm of fear that made him want to drop to one knee and put all of his doubts to rest, once and for all. He didn’t know whether proposing would signify the beginning or the end for them.
“You just know.” Alisa patted his stomach. “But I don’t have to tell you that. You know what I mean. You feel it. A life without that person isn’t a life you want to imagine living.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” That’s what scared Nick the most. Megan had infiltrated every area of his life. She’d taken full advantage of the gourmet kitchen, preparing meals that made his mouth water. Her clothes dominated his walk-in closet. Her toiletries claimed prime real estate in his ensuite bathroom. She curled up with him at night to watch TV, went riding with him on weekends, lured him up to bed with sexy lingerie… He knew without her, his house and heart would be haunted forever.
“What’s wrong?” Alisa asked. “You okay?”
Ty slapped his son on the back. “I was just gonna ask you the same question.” He took the tongs out of Nick’s hand and passed them to Evan. “Take over here, Ev. We’re gonna go inside and grab another case of beer.”
“You got it,” Evan said.
Ty and Nick walked back to Nick’s house in silence. He heard Megan’s laughter, and his stomach clenched in anticipation and dread. He didn’t know if facing his fear that night was the right course of action, but living in limbo, trying to hide their concern from each other, would inevitably hurt their relationship, and he couldn’t take that risk.
They stepped inside before Ty said, “Okay, let’s hear it. What’s goin’ on with you?”
Nick didn’t bother asking how his father knew he had a problem. Ty always knew. Nick only hoped he would be as attuned to his own children. The children he hoped Megan would want to have. He hadn’t even asked her if she wanted kids because he’d been afraid of her response. If she told him she didn’t want a family, he would have to choose between the woman he loved and the family he wanted. That was a choice he wasn’t prepared to make.
“It’s Meg.” Nick sank down on his suede sofa and dropped his head into his hands. “I’ve never been this messed up over a woman in my life, Dad.”
Ty chuckled as he claimed the seat beside Nick. “Ah, it must be love then.”
“It is. I know she loves me, and I sure as hell love her, but that’s not enough. I want more. I want it all.”
“What does that mean? You think you’re ready to marry this girl?” Ty asked, propping his elbows on his knees.
“I know I am. I just don’t know if she feels the same way about me.”
“You’ve never talked about the future?”
“Not really.” Nick thought of all the times he’d fallen asleep beside her, the questions he wanted to ask on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t force the words out. He’d never been a coward or run from a fight, but he felt as though he was fighting for the most important thing in the world. The one thing he couldn’t afford to lose. Megan’s love.
“Why’s that? Y’all are livin’ together. Marriage would seem like the next logical step.”
Nick said, “I’m scared. What if she doesn’t want the same things I do? She told me once she didn’t want to get married or have kids. What if she still feels that way?”
“Could you live with that? If she told you she just wanted y’all to continue with your relationship exactly as it is, would you be okay with that?” Ty asked, leaning back.
Nick could never live with half of her without wanting all of her. “No. I want her to be my wife. It may seem crazy, but I need her to promise she’s gonna be there with me every day for the rest of our lives. I want her to have my babies and…” Nick sighed. He was babbling, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted everything with Megan, and he couldn’t settle for less.
“There’s nothin’ wrong with wantin’ all those things, Nick. I felt the same way when I met your mama.”
“Yeah, but Mom didn’t have all of Meg’s hang-ups. She wasn’t afraid of marriage and kids and-” Ty’s laughter cut him off. “What’s so funny?”
“You may think you know your mama, but you didn’t know her back then. She fought me hard, but there was no way I was gonna give up on her. I loved her. As far as I was concerned, no one else could ever make me feel the way she did. Hell, she still makes me feel like the luckiest guy in the world every damn day.”
Nick smiled. “I didn’t realize how lucky I was to have you guys as parents until I met Meg. I saw the hell her family put her through and the way it affected her. I realized she didn’t have anyone she could count on, and it made me appreciate y’all so much more.”
Ty leaned forward and gripped Nick’s shoulder. “I couldn’t be more proud of you, kid. You forged your own path and proved you could be successful in your own right. From where I sit, the only thing that’s been missin’ in your life is the right woman to share it with. Now you’ve found her. I know no matter what it takes or the challenges y’all face, you’ll fight for her and what you have. You’re smart enough to know a woman like Megan doesn’t come along twice in one lifetime, am I right?”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
The men stood, and Ty pulled his son into a back-slapping hug. “Don’t worry, I kno
w this is all gonna work out the way you want it to. You just have to be patient and see it through. If she needs a little more time, you’ll give it to her. Just don’t ever give up on her.”
“I won’t. I can promise you that.”
***
Nick was pouring himself a drink at the bar shortly after their guests left when Megan came up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist. “Hey, you okay? You seemed a little off tonight.”
He tipped the highball back and downed the amber liquid. “I’m okay. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.”
She felt it like ice running through her veins. His subtle withdrawal. The distance between them when he thought she’d fallen asleep, the way he looked at her sometimes when he thought she wasn’t looking. The words he started to say before he cut himself off. She couldn’t live with the uncertainty anymore. If he wasn’t happy, she had to know.
“Whatever it is, just say it, Nick.”
He ran a hand through his hair with a heavy sigh. “It’s not that easy.”
“Yes, it is. Whatever it is, I can handle it.” She told herself she was ready to hear his explanation, but how could she watch her dreams slip through her grasp? She didn’t know that she could handle that, but she would never burden him with guilt over her. He didn’t deserve that. She knew from the beginning their relationship was a longshot, and she took the risk in spite of the threat of devastation if it didn’t work out.
He reached for her hand. “You know I think you’re amazing, Meg.” He brushed her hair off her forehead with such tenderness, her heart ached.
“I feel the same way.” She willed away the tears forming. She would not cry, no matter what. She wouldn’t leave him with the knowledge he’d broken her heart. She forced a tight smile, hoping it didn’t appear as brittle as it felt. “I’m so glad we’ve had this time together.”
He frowned. “So am I. These past months have been… incredible.”
She reached up to kiss him, knowing it would be their last. She couldn’t stand there another minute and listen to him explain his reasons for ending it. “I just want you to be happy, Nick.”
“I want-”
Megan pressed her finger against his lips. If he uttered another word, she would fall apart, and she couldn’t do that. “Please, don’t. There’s nothing left to say.”
He grabbed her wrist, and for the first time, she saw something akin to alarm in his eyes. If he was questioning his decision to set her free, it was too late. She couldn’t stay knowing they were one day away from goodbye.
“What the hell are you talkin’ about? I have a lot to say. I-”
“I have to go.” She shook him off and sprinted toward the stairs, praying he wouldn’t follow her. She’d left one suitcase packed… just in case.
“Megan! Damn it, where the hell do you think you’re goin’? Get back here.”
She wasn’t surprised Nick wanted to discuss his motives for ending their relationship. He wasn’t the kind of man to take the easy way out. She told him, “You don’t have to explain. It’s fine. I’m fine.” She was anything but fine, but she’d perfected her acting over the years. She could smile in the face of death, rejection, and heartbreak. There would be time to fall apart later. When she was alone.
He followed her into his walk-in closet. His shock was evident when he saw her reach for the leather suitcase. “What the hell is that?”
“What does it look like?”
“You’ve been plannin’ to leave me all along? Why the hell did you wait so long to tell me?”
Megan squared her shoulders. So he wanted her to accept responsibility for their break up? Fine. She’d play it his way. At least she would walk away with her dignity intact. “We both knew this day was coming eventually, didn’t we? I told you in the beginning. We’re too different. It could never have worked.”
The raw pain twisting his handsome face made her wish she could recant. She wouldn’t hurt him for anything, not even to save herself.
“How can you say that?” He paced, his hands fisted at his sides. “I can’t even believe what I’m hearin’ right now. I’ve spent every minute of every day lovin’ you, and you were plannin’ your escape the whole goddamn time?”
Megan’s head hurt almost as much as her heart. She didn’t know what he wanted her to say. Breaking up was what he wanted. Why was he making it so hard for her to walk away? “I don’t want to end it this way, Nick. You’re a good man. I respect you so much. You don’t owe me any explanations.”
“Yeah, well you owe me one.” He braced his hands on his hips and turned to face her. The rage on his face was quickly eclipsed by regret and sadness that rivaled any she’d ever witnessed. “What could I have done differently to make this work?”
“You couldn’t… I can’t…” She knew she couldn’t have that conversation without revealing the depth of her sorrow. “I’m sorry, Nick.”
He grabbed her arm as she walked by. “You’re sorry? You’re sorry for lettin’ me believe you loved me? You’re sorry for lettin’ me fall in love with you?” He explored her face with his eyes as though he expected to expose the truth.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to…” Her voice cracked, and she tried to free her arm, but he wouldn’t let her go. “Fight my feelings for you.”
“Why would you want to? Why are you runnin’ away?” he whispered.
She didn’t understand why he was asking her that when he’d made it clear, with actions and words, that his feelings had changed. Knowing he wouldn’t let her go until they addressed it to his satisfaction, she said, “I’ve felt you withdrawing.”
“What you felt was me tryin’ to give you the space I thought you needed.”
“You thought I needed space?”
He reached for her suitcase and set it beside the dresser before leading her toward the bed. “You’d get this haunted look in your eye from time to time, and it scared the hell out of me. I always wondered whether you were thinkin’ about leavin’ me.” He glanced at her suitcase. “I guess now I have my answer.”
“I kept that suitcase packed because I thought… I didn’t know if this was just a temporary arrangement.”
He brushed his knuckles against her face, and she melted, just as she did every time she heard him say those three little words. “I love you. When I love, I love forever. Not for a month or a year. Forever. I thought you understood when I came to L.A. it was because I wanted to build a life with you.”
“It’s been great since we’ve been back.”
He reached for her hand, brushing his lips across her knuckles. “I think so, too. But something’s been missin’ for me.”
Megan closed her eyes and vowed to take the blow like the strong, independent woman she was before she met him. She’d had a life without Nick once, and she would again, someday.
“This,” he said.
She opened her eyes and saw a large oval diamond clutched in his hand. Her eyes flew to Nick’s, and for the first time, he looked hesitant.
“I don’t know what you’re thinkin’ or how you’re feelin’ right now, Meg. But this is the only way I know to express where my heart and my head are. I’m in this for the long haul. Forever.”
Megan covered her mouth with her free hand. No words could express the relief she felt. A few moments ago, she’d thought he was telling her it was the end of their road. Instead, he was promising her a brand new beginning.
“I know we’ve never really talked about marriage or kids, so this is probably comin’ out of nowhere for you. But I’m tired of livin’ with uncertainty, and I hate seein’ that haunted look in your eyes. I need to know we’re both committed to buildin’ a life together.”
Marriage. Kids. Her own family. With the man she loved. No words could express her relief.
“Meg, please. Say somethin’. You’re killin’ me here.” He fisted the ring, looking resigned. “If it’s too soon-”
“No!”
He looked at her. “
You’re sayin’ no?”
Megan threw her arms around his neck, her laughter and tears merging. “No, it’s not too soon. Yes, I’ll marry you.” She giggled.
“Thank God.” He slipped the ring on her finger. “You scared the hell out of me, girl.” He looked at the suitcase and scowled. “I’m throwin’ that damn thing out the window, ‘cause you’re never, ever leavin’ me.”
“My home is here, Nick. With you. Forever.”
About the Author
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Coming Soon
Book Seven – Face Value
Real estate developer, Lauren McCall, needs a new contractor yesterday. Someone who’s good, fast, and reliable, but her only option seems to be her friend’s deadbeat ex-husband. According to her friend, he’s a skirt chasing, beer drinking, loser who’d rather play pool than play with his kids, but desperate times call for desperate measures, so Lauren gives him the job. She just hopes she doesn’t live to regret it.
Tucker Brooks knows his new boss doesn’t like him, and he doesn’t much care. He knows his ex-wife will spew her venom to anyone who’ll listen, and if Lauren’s naïve enough to believe everything she hears, so be it. He’s determined to show up for work, get the job done, and avoid the boss lady as much as possible. If only she’d stay the hell out of his dreams.
Time Out (Nashville Nights Next Generation -6) Page 18