‘I don’t think I’ve actually ever walked around the gardens,’ Alex said. ‘It’s lovely here.’
They headed across the lawn to where it sloped down towards the lake. Abbie had added several benches, which she’d found on eBay, so you could now sit and look at the water.
‘It’s really peaceful,’ Louise agreed. ‘I don’t come here as much as I should.’
‘Your sister has been working here, hasn’t she?’
Louise told him all about Abbie’s mission to save the hotel from closure. ‘And it all started because I basically dared her to do an act of kindness for someone.’
‘Brew’s kindness mission is hard to say no to.’
‘Well, you lived up to it when you found my earring.’
‘And you’re kind every day to the kids in the hospital. Hazel still talks about you. Shall we sit for a few minutes?’
They sat down on one of the benches. The sun was dancing across the clear blue water in front of them.
‘Actually, Abbie dared me to do my own act of kindness,’ Louise said, enjoying how comfortable she felt talking to Alex. ‘Because I look after kids every day at work, she said that I needed to do an act of kindness for myself. Which is proving harder than I thought it would be. She’s helping Thomas here, but I don’t know, I guess I just prefer looking after other people.’
Alex was silent for a moment before nodding. ‘I know what you mean. In jobs like ours, when it’s all about caring for others, you can forget to care for yourself. My mother is always checking that I’m eating properly, even at my age.’ He chuckled, then looked over at her. ‘I think being kind to yourself is about going after the things you want, and remembering that you can’t look after others if you haven’t taken care of yourself first.’
‘It sounds so simple when you say it. But sometimes you don’t know what you want, or if you do, it scares you, or you’re not sure you deserve it,’ Louise replied quietly. She didn’t mean to let the words, out but her mouth opened before she could stop herself. She was sure he would read between the lines and realise she was talking about him, and she couldn’t lift her eyes from the ground.
Finally, he answered her. ‘I’m certain you should have whatever you want, Louise, but it sounds like you need to learn to believe it yourself. No one else can help with that, unfortunately.’
She nodded. She knew that part of her aversion to a new relationship after being so hurt by Peter was that she didn’t feel she deserved to be loved. She thought there must have been something wrong with her for him to leave her as he had. She was scared, too, of feeling that way again. But perhaps Alex was right. No one, not even him, could help her get over that. She had to believe she could be loved and manage to push her fear aside to give someone a chance to love her. She wasn’t sure if she was ready, but she also knew that she probably never would be. At some point she needed to take a risk, make a leap, all of those clichés, but not for anyone else, not even for the kindness pact she had made with her sister, but for herself. She had to allow herself to be happy.
‘Let’s walk a bit more,’ Louise said, keen to focus on something other than the thoughts running amok in her head. She smoothed down her shorts and T-shirt as they stood up and took another refreshing sip of her iced tea.
They continued with their circle of the grounds, the sun beating down on their shoulders.
Alex started to tell her about a nervous dog he had in his surgery the day before. ‘His legs were actually shaking, poor thing, but we managed to get him on the table and he calmed down after I gave him a few treats. He was in for a vaccination. I felt so bad for the poor chap,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Makes me feel like a monster when that happens; they don’t realise how much I love animals.’
‘They just see you as a big, scary man with a large needle,’ Louise said with a laugh.
‘Me, scary?’
‘You’re right, you’re as far from scary as a man can be.’
‘Are you saying I’m not manly, Miss Morgan? I’ll have you know that if I was threatened with an intruder . . . I would run and hide, I’ve got to be honest.’ They laughed, and Louise wondered when she had last felt this at ease with a man. Certainly not since Peter. And even with him sometimes she felt as if she was trying to be his idea of a perfect girlfriend. She felt that with Alex she could just be herself.
They finished the tour of Huntley Manor’s gardens and walked back out of the gate and towards Littlewood’s High Street.
‘Thanks for letting me crash your walk,’ Alex said as they approached the vet surgery and his flat above.
The sun was still high in the sky and Louise was looking forward to returning to the cool shade of her cottage and another cold drink, but she found herself slowing down her walking pace as they drew nearer, and Alex did the same.
‘It was a lovely afternoon,’ Louise replied, hoping that he would think the flush in her cheeks was due to the sunshine and not her sudden shyness. Despite the friendly nature of their walk, it felt weirdly like the end of a date, when you have that equally exciting and awkward moment wondering whether to kiss or not.
‘It was. Well, uh, bye then,’ Alex said, seemingly just as flustered. He gave her a goofy wave and tripped a bit as he walked to his door.
Louise waved back and hurried off towards her cottage. She made herself not look back, even though she really wanted to, as she knew she’d be upset if she didn’t catch him doing the same thing.
Chapter Fifteen
Eszter was getting ready to go around to Louise’s cottage for drinks with her and Abbie. It was a balmy evening, the sun still out as she put some lip gloss on and pulled her hair into a messy ponytail. She put on jeans and a T-shirt and paired the casual look with a pair of sandals. Grabbing her bag, she went downstairs, where Anne and Zoe were just about to sit down to a pasta meal.
She was looking forward to a girls’ night, something that she hadn’t had for a long time. She was starting to feel more and more at home in Littlewood. She really liked Abbie and Louise and was excited when they suggested they make the most of the mini heatwave by having drinks and nibbles in their garden. She hadn’t had a lot of close friends in Budapest; once she met Nick her time had been spent mostly with him outside of working and when she had Zoe, her life became all about family, but she missed that closeness she’d had when she was younger with her friends, and was happy to recapture that here.
‘Have a lovely time,’ Anne said as Eszter kissed her daughter goodbye. Her mother-in-law smiled at her but turned back around to face the cooker again quickly. Eszter knew Anne was on edge at the moment. Eszter told them she wouldn’t be late and walked out of the cottage to make the short walk over to Louise’s house.
Earlier, they had been out in the garden when Anne had raised the subject again of what was going to happen at the end of the summer.
‘I’ve been thinking about how much I’d love for you and Zoe to stay in Littlewood,’ Anne had said quietly, watching Zoe playing a few feet away from them on the grass. ‘I have really enjoyed having Zoe around my house so much and if you both did stay, wouldn’t it make sense for you to give up this cottage and come and live with me? The house is so big for just one person, and that would mean you wouldn’t need to pay rent or anything,’ she had said all in a rush.
Eszter had been taken aback. She had known how lonely Anne was at the start of the summer. She had spent years without her husband and her son, separating herself from Littlewood’s community, but now she was blossoming, spending time with Eszter and Zoe, and taking art classes at the community centre. Eszter was so happy at how things had worked out. From such a frosty beginning, they now had a good relationship and she knew Nick would have been proud of all three of them. Joy had been right about the power of kindness.
Eszter had thanked Anne and told her she was still thinking about their future. The weight of the decision rested heavily on her shoulders as she knocked on Louise’s door. Anne had offered them a huge opportun
ity but Eszter was still nervous about making such a big choice.
‘Come in!’ Louise said with a big smile, giving Eszter a hug when she opened the door. ‘We’re already out in the garden,’ she said, leading Eszter through the cottage to the living room where the patio doors were flung open.
They joined Abbie in the garden. There was a table and chairs on the patio and a small patch of grass with flowers dotted around the edge. The table was full of appetising-looking food and a jug of Pimm’s, full of fruit and ice. Abbie handed Eszter a glass. Eszter took a cautious sip as she’d never had it before, but it was just the refreshing drink she needed.
‘Here’s to our summer in Littlewood,’ Abbie said, clinking each of their glasses with hers.
‘I can’t believe how quickly it’s gone,’ Eszter said. August was already halfway over, and September was fast approaching. Zoe would need to be in school soon. But here or back in Budapest?
They sat down at the table and filled their plates with salad, marinated chicken, fresh bread, cheeses, olives, and new potatoes. Abbie kept their glasses topped up with Pimm’s as the evening sun shone down and all three of them relaxed in their chairs, smiling at each other as they chatted. It was a perfect summer’s evening.
‘I’m so glad I came back,’ Abbie said, taking a long gulp of her drink. ‘I swear I never felt this chilled out in London.’
‘You would have had to fight for a space somewhere outside on a night like tonight,’ Louise said. ‘I couldn’t live anywhere without a garden.’
‘I’m getting very spoilt on that front,’ Eszter agreed. ‘I didn’t really miss a garden in Budapest, but Zoe really loves our one here, and at Anne’s.’
‘When we were kids, we seemed to be always outside,’ Louise said. ‘I think growing up somewhere like this is far better than a city; I’ve got to be honest.’
‘I’m starting to agree with you,’ Eszter said. ‘But it’s harder with work and things like that in a quieter place.’ She told them that Anne was keen for her and Zoe to stay on in Littlewood and had even offered for them to live with her.
‘What do you think you’ll do?’ Abbie asked her.
‘I don’t know. On one hand, it would be lovely for Zoe to be with her grandmother and grow up where her father did. She really likes it here, I know. She’ll miss her friends back home but she is making new ones. I wouldn’t particularly like being in a different country from my parents, but they lived quite far away in Hungary, we could only see them in the holidays, so that could still happen.’ She sighed. ‘I’d need to think about what I would do for work though, and make sure Zoe would get into a good school here.’
‘I’m sure you could find work around here,’ Louise said. ‘I’d love it if you guys stayed. We all would.’
‘I just don’t know what I want to do. I’ve never really had a burning desire to follow a particular career path,’ Eszter admitted. She was envious of how much Louise loved being a nurse, and Abbie seemed so determined to set up her own business. ‘It’s hard making such a big decision on your own, you know? I have been used to having a partner to talk things over with, I suppose.’
‘You just need to follow your heart,’ Abbie told her firmly. ‘Where do you feel it’s telling you to be? Here or back in Budapest?’
‘I think it’s difficult for me to imagine going back to our old life without Nick.’
‘Maybe it’s time for a fresh start then,’ Louise said. ‘You’ll always miss him, wherever you are, but maybe building a new life for yourselves will help you, I don’t know, move on a little bit, I suppose?’
Eszter nodded. She just didn’t know what the best thing to do was, but perhaps you never did.
‘Thomas has offered me an office at Huntley Manor if I want to go ahead with my own business,’ Abbie told them.
‘Oh, has he now?’ Louise turned to grin at her.
‘What?’ Abbie asked, trying to hide her smile.
‘As well as being your date for the party?’
‘What?’ Eszter asked, looking at Abbie eagerly. ‘You’ve kept that quiet.’
‘He’s only just asked me! I mean, it makes sense as we’ll be there together, making sure it runs okay . . .’
‘Abs,’ Louise cut in, ‘Thomas thinks the world of you. Why won’t you just admit you feel the same? You’re always telling me to be honest with how I feel.’
‘I know. It’s just happened so quickly and I really thought I’d messed everything up with going back to London with Jack, but there’s always been this spark between us. I just didn’t think he’d felt it. Thomas is more reserved than I’m used to.’
‘Probably a good thing,’ Louise replied dryly.
‘What do you think about his office offer?’ Eszter asked her.
‘I’m just nervous setting out on my own, you know? Like you say, Eszter, making that leap is so hard.’
‘Once everyone sees what you’ve done for Huntley Manor you’ll get loads of people wanting to work with you,’ Louise said.
‘I just want this party to go well. I’ve been speaking to the press, and we should get some good publicity for it. But only if it all goes to plan.’ She pulled a face.
‘It sounds really exciting. I haven’t looked round the hotel yet. I’d like to see it.’
Abbie clapped her hands together, making the other two jump. ‘I just had the best idea!’ She spun round and grabbed Eszter’s hand. ‘I have been nervous about doing this business on my own, I’ve always worked well in a team, and something has been holding me back from getting started on it all. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it’s suddenly become clear. It’s you!’
‘Me?’ Eszter asked confused. She glanced at Louise, who shrugged, also bemused. Eszter wondered if Abbie was drunk already.
‘Yes, you. Why don’t we set up the business together? We could be partners!’
‘But I’ve never worked in PR,’ Eszter pointed out.
‘You’ve worked in retail, which is all about dealing with people and trying to sell things; it’s the same thing pretty much. I know we’d work well together, and you are looking for something you can be passionate about. It’s the perfect plan. What do you think?’
Eszter stared at her. ‘Are you serious?’
‘Look, come and see Huntley Manor with me tomorrow. I’ll show you around and tell you all the changes we’ve made and the party, and take you to the room Thomas said I could have, then you can see if it’s something you might want to do. What do you say?’
‘Why do I have so many decisions to make suddenly?’ Eszter asked in despair. Then the other two laughed, and she found herself smiling too. Abbie’s excitement was infectious.
‘I’m loving this idea,’ Louise said then. ‘I think you should go for it.’
‘Eszter?’
‘I’ll come and look around with you,’ Eszter agreed, not wanting to promise anything. She hadn’t even thought about working in PR, but the prospect of having her own business was exciting. She could really sink her teeth into it, and she liked Abbie and thought they could work well together. ‘Are you sure though, Abbie?’
‘This feels right,’ Abbie said. ‘Doesn’t it?’
Her question hung tantalisingly in the air.
Chapter Sixteen
Louise walked out of the staffroom at the hospital ready to start her shift and was met by Julie, who rushed up to her, looking harassed.
‘Oh, good, I caught you,’ she said, breathlessly. ‘I’m just heading off, but I wanted you to hear it from me first.’
‘What is it?’ Louise asked, instantly worried.
‘Hazel’s back.’
Louise’s heart sank as Julie explained that the doctors were concerned Hazel’s cancer might have returned and had brought her straight in for urgent tests. She had thought her recovery had been going so well; she’d been having regular check-ups, of course, but Alex had said how well she was the last time she had asked him. She felt incredibly sad that the little girl was back, and
she ached for Alex and his sister and what they must be going through.
She thanked Julie and went to the ward, finding out where Hazel was and heading straight for her cubicle.
Louise stopped before she reached it though. Outside, Alex and his sister Sarah stood together, holding one another.
Louise backed away, not wanting to intrude on such a moment. She went to speak to the ward sister about what needed doing, but she could hardly think about anything else. She couldn’t stand to think of Alex in pain like that. Seeing him holding his sister had told her what she had been trying to ignore for far too long: she had feelings for Alex. She might even be falling for him.
And she had no idea what she was going to do about it.
***
Later, when Alex had left, she went to see Hazel and Sarah. ‘How are you guys doing?’ she asked. ‘Do you need anything?’
‘We’re fine, thank you, Louise,’ Sarah said. She was sat by her daughter’s bedside, worry etched all over her face.
‘I brought Sam back to see you,’ Hazel said, lifting up the bear. She was smiling and Louise was certain she had never in her life met anyone as brave as Hazel.
‘Hello, Sam,’ Louise said, trying to smile back at Hazel. It was hard when she felt so sad for her though. ‘Has he been good?’
Hazel nodded. ‘He helps me sleep.’
‘I was sorry to hear you were back,’ Louise said. ‘But I’m sure the doctors are going to look after you really well.’
‘I’ll be okay,’ Hazel said bravely.
Her mother looked away, and Louise saw her eyes brimming with tears.
‘If you need anything, anything at all, just give me a shout,’ Louise said. She gently touched Sarah on the shoulder and waved back to Hazel, who seemed as cheerful as ever despite the fact she was facing the prospect of her cancer returning, and hurried away before she too broke down in tears.
On her break, Louise picked up her phone wanting to say something to Alex. Something that could help. But how could anything help? So, she settled for: So sorry to hear about Hazel. I hope you’re okay.
Random Acts of Kindness--Part 3 Page 7