by Melissa Jane
Me: Hey lady, hope you are well. Eager to hear how things are with you and Jase.
Within seconds, she responded in a string of messages.
Nicole: JOSIE!
Nicole: I’ve been waiting for you to come online. I know you’re busy.
Nicole: Before you say anything, I warned Leo it would look bad.
This piqued my curiosity. What did she mean? I could see the wave of the three dots so I knew she was still writing.
Nicole: I know he can’t do much about it, and he said you would understand.
Nicole: But still….just ignore it.
Nicole: She isn’t even worth worrying over.
Nicole: Jase has told her to back off.
Without responding, I looked up Leo’s page. Four posts down I saw that he had been tagged in a photo by Holly. My stomach sank, eyes prickling with tears. It was irrational to behave like this, but I had a shit day and this was just icing on the cake. Taking three gulps of wine, I placed the glass on my side table and studied the photo through blurry vision.
Nicole: Josie, are you there?
She would be able to see that I saw the messages and would be wondering why I’m not responding. What could I say? The picture was of Holly and Leo. She looked beautiful and when I checked the date of the posting, I saw that it was her birthday. I recalled her indiscreetly dropping the mention at Mimi’s homecoming.
They were sitting or standing, I couldn’t tell. But they were close, bodies pressed tightly against each other, her arm draped across his shoulders. Her free hand touched his cheek tenderly, her lips only mere millimeters from his.
Nicole: Josie!
Me: I’m here.
Nicole: Say something.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I typed the hardest words I’d ever have to in my life.
Me: I’m seventeen thousand miles away, Nicole. I knew this would happen. I guess I expected Leo to have told me himself.
Nicole: What do you mean?
Me: What do you mean, what do I mean? We had spoken about this at length and he swore he wasn’t interested in her, and now it seems they are very content. I only wish he’d have been man enough to have told me. How long has this been going on?
A sudden rush of embarrassment swept over me as I recalled the nights we spoke on the phone. Our conversations and phone sex.
Nicole: You silly whore! Nothing is going on. I told you she’s a hoe looking for trouble, and this is her way of trying to start it. Leo hasn’t been the same since you left. Her party was the only social engagement he’s attended, and that was only because Mimi and Jase forced him to. He’s missing you like mad and is working his ass off just to keep himself busy.
Me: Then what’s with the photo?
Nicole: Being the self-serving wench that she is, she pulled his face close to hers just as the photo was being taken. I saw it all. When she did it, he pulled away and told her he wasn’t interested.
My heart swelled and guilt flooded through me. I had instantly assumed the worst of Leo.
Nicole: Are they happy tears, I know you’re crying?
Me: Yes!
She knew me too well.
Me: So, I take it your relationship with Holly isn’t blossoming!
Nicole: Are you kidding me right now?
She didn’t need to elaborate. Her feelings were loud and clear.
Nicole: Babe, everyone misses you here. Mimi asks about you constantly, but since we haven’t spoken, I make up some fun stuff to tell her about your adventures.
Me: Please give her a kiss for me. And thank you, for everything.
Nicole: Love you, babe.
Me: Love you!
It was only once I logged off I realised I’d been too wrapped up in my own drama that I didn’t even ask Nicole how she was going with Jase.
Dialling Leo’s number, I listened as it went to voicemail. Hanging up, I finished the rest of my wine and swiped at the tears that had become my nightly habit. My phone buzzed and I bit my lip to stop it from trembling.
“Leo!”
“Bonsoir my beautiful girl,” he greeted me with a warm chuckle.
“I just wanted to tell you how much I loved you before I go to bed.”
There was a heavy sigh on the other end, one loaded with sadness and regret. “I know, Bella. I feel it every day.”
CHAPTER 36
Weeks passed and they all seemed to blend in the same. Except for the fact that I would look at my calendar at night and with a fallen heart, see just how long I had left. I was working extremely hard. I already had three canvases completely finished and the others were well on their way. I was now ahead of the class.
After our last altercation, Monsieur Bordeaux kept his distance, still standing behind me watching, but he remained silent. I had no idea whether he approved of my work or not, but my mid-semester critique was coming up and there was no way he could sit through that without giving me some feedback.
We all had allocated times. Mine was last and late at night. Once you had finished your meeting you weren’t expected to stick around. The reason for that was to allow the artist to reflect on what had been said and to work around any changes that needed to be made.
“Right.” That was his way of greeting me as he entered my studio space. “Ms. Josie Marks,” he announced looking at his clipboard like he didn’t know my name. “Where do we begin?” he asked with a heavy sigh like he had better things to be doing. I’m sure he did. It was late, the sky already pitch black, but he could at least fake some enthusiasm. “This is the start of the series?” Monsieur Bordeaux pointed to the three already finished hanging on the divider wall.
He considered them carefully, his ringed finger stroking his chin in contemplation. After what felt like an age, he finally spoke. “I must say, Josie, you certainly have a way with how light and dark dance with each other.”
Huh?
Was that a compliment?
Surely not!
“Thank you,” I said cautiously, expecting a rebuff.
“These characters you paint, they certainly carry a lot of emotion through each canvas. You are proving your worth here.”
“Have I missed something?” I asked, confused by what was unfolding.
“I beg your pardon.”
“I don’t mean to sound rude, but you haven’t spoken a kind word to me since I arrived, and now in my critique where you own the platform to spill more hate on me, you are only giving me compliments.”
He turned wearing a different expression to the one he normally wore around me. His eyes travelled the length of my body in a way that made me incredibly uncomfortable.
“I have no doubt your collection will please our commissioner very much.”
Swallowing hard, I nodded, suddenly feeling as if we were standing too close. Taking a step back, I hit my chair and lost my balance. Falling a little to the left Monsieur Bordeaux caught my wrist to steady me. Righting myself, I tried to pull out of his grip, but he wasn’t intending on releasing.
“Please let me go,” I said, meeting his hooded stare.
Taking a step closer, his body connected with mine, his erection pressing against my stomach.
“What are you doing?”
“Josie,” his accent was thicker when it contained lust, “it’s not that I didn’t like you all this time. Quite the opposite. I rather fancy you, but you see that is the problem. According to the rules, I can’t have you.”
My heart was pounding in my chest and the image of Professor Jolly and Laney sprung to mind. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening, and worst of all, we were alone. The building was deserted except for Monsieur Bordeaux and me.
“You need to let me go,” my shaky voice demanded as he pushed me until my back connected with the divider wall.
“It’s simple really.” A sinister smirk twitched his lips. “Give me what I want and keep it between us, or I will ensure the commissioner never even sets his eyes on your work.”
“
That’s ridiculous, you can’t do that.”
His hand tightened around my wrist which was still proving to be rather sensitive from the sprain.
“Do I make myself clear?” There was no messing about in his tone. He was deathly serious and the predicament left me in the least favorable position.
Before I could respond, his lips met mine, hands releasing my wrists to cup my cheeks. Holding me in place, Monsieur Bordeaux pushed his tongue past my lips and possessed my mouth. Groaning with disgust, I clawed at his arms and then his face. Grunting, he pulled away, a neat gauge marring his once perfect skin.
“Fucking bitch,” he spat. “Think carefully about your career, Josie. He lunged for me and as I moved to get away from him, I stumbled over the chair and fell to the hard concrete ground. Monsieur Bordeaux was quick, his body covering mine once he turned me roughly to face him. Straddling my lap, he pinned my hands above my head with one hand and worked at ripping my blouse with the other.
Screaming, I searched the area for anything I could use to help defend myself. Feeling his disgusting touch squeezing my breast, I came up empty handed. Nothing was in reach, and there was nothing that could be of any benefit. While his mouth circled my nipple, I did the only thing I could. Taking a deep breath, I lifted my thigh at lightning speed and relished in the contact it made with his groin. Immediately, he rolled to the side, releasing his hold while he moved to cup his bits. His once tanned skin drained of all colour, eyes wide as saucers. Scrambling to my feet, I jumped over him to collect my bag. Before I had both feet on the ground, his hand wrapped itself around my ankle and jerked me back. Once again I fell, coming crashing down on the canvasses set aside for drying. I could feel the oil paint coat my skin in my points of contact as I scrambled to right myself. In my side vision, I could see Monsieur Bordeaux recovering, eyes locked on me with a promise of revenge.
Stretching forward to the cabinet I grabbed the jar of paint thinner, its murky green, brown pigment from old paint swishing around the glass. Using the wall as balance, I half turned on my foot enough for the river of turpentine to go hurling through the air.
He saw it coming but was too late. His cries of anger and pain erupted through the room as the harsh chemical connected with his eyes, his hand working furiously to wipe it off.
Taking advantage of the time, I took off at full speed while dodging his flailing body. As I ran down the hall and down the flight of stairs to the front entry, I could still hear his agonised screams.
I think it was safe to say, my time at Lafayette was well and truly up.
***
“What the hell happened to you?” Cassie asked wide eyed as I walked defeated through the front door. Her forkful of steaming noodles hung precariously in the air as she waited for my answer. Looking down at myself, I could see why she would seem so alarmed.
It looked like I had fought and lost with a paintball gun and my blouse was torn straight across the front. In my eagerness to escape the school, I had left my jacket.
Swallowing hard, the adrenaline was starting wear off and reality was slapping me in the face. Before I knew it, tears flooded down my cheeks, much like the watery soup off Cassie’s still dangling noodles and my knees grew weak. Pulling out the kitchen chair, I sat down in a heavy heap.
“Monsieur Bordeaux attacked me.”
“Huh?”
“He attacked me.”
“What the fuck do you mean attacked you?”
“He gave me an ultimatum. Either I gave him what he wanted or he would jeopardize my artwork so the commissioner wouldn’t buy it.”
“What did you do?”
“I didn’t even get a chance to express my disgust when he assaulted me.”
“Why did you fight him?”
“Huh?”
“Why didn’t you just go along with it? He’s a hot guy. He could also ensure you are selected. Surely having sex with Monsieur Bordeaux isn’t that bad of an idea?”
I didn’t know what to say. Was she even listening to me?
“Cassie, he assaulted me before I could say yay or nay. Not that I was planning on saying yay and besides that, the asshole forced himself on me. I didn’t really have a choice between intimacy and rape.”
Stuffing her mouth with the noodles, she watched me curiously as if I was some enigma she couldn’t quite figure out.
“I’m just saying, you could have made your life a whole lot easier, but now, I’m not so sure.”
“Are you even on the same planet as me?”
“Don’t get all passive aggressive. I’m not the one who blew my chance.”
“Well, the window of opportunity is open now, he’s all yours!” Fed up with the asinine conversation and sore from the battle that had unfolded, I soaked myself under the steaming shower until I felt the water run cold. Without some turpentine, it was a struggle to rid my skin of oil paint and the remaining traces served as a reminder of what had happened. Drying myself, I gently patted the areas still throbbing, bluish bruises already starting to form on my hip and thigh. With the television up loud in the lounge room, I plugged in my earphones and listened to some soft Bachata music. When Leo’s number flashed on my phone illuminating the dark room, I ignored it. I didn’t have the strength to talk, not even to him. He would know something wasn’t right, and I just couldn’t bring myself to relive the experience or to even lie about it to the one man I loved.
***
I missed class for the rest of the week, and avoided Leo’s phone calls and messages. He was getting desperate, not hearing from me making him think the worst. For that, I was racked with guilt. The concern then extended to Nicole, who was also trying to reach me. For what it was worth, I eagerly wanted to talk with them both, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer either one.
I barely saw Cassie. She avoided me like the plague and I was happy she did so. Except for the third night when she stopped in my doorway while I was getting ready.
“I hope you are pleased with yourself.”
Her tone couldn’t have been more of a slap in the face if I wanted it to. I’d been under the impression that there was some kind of ‘girl code.’ Apparently I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“What now?” I took the bait with a nonchalant attitude.
“Monsieur Bordeaux hasn’t returned to Lafayette. Apparently, he was so badly hurt in an accident that he may lose partial eyesight. Wouldn’t have anything to do with you would it?”
“And what if it did? At least it might stop him from attacking women.”
“Yeah, yeah, so you keep going on about it. Fact is, I saw the way you two interacted and I’m sorry to say, but he hated you. Everyone saw and heard it. So I guess it all comes down to whether he truly did assault you, or whether you took it upon yourself to hurt him.”
“Are you for real?”
“Does it look like I’m joking? I’d be careful if I were you, Josie. Rumors are running wild at the moment and none of them are in your favour.”
“Get out!” I said as calmly as I could muster, even though I just wanted to slam the door in her face.
“My pleasure,” she spat as if disgusted with me.
The whole situation was surreal. I couldn’t fathom how Cassie could condone Monsieur Bordeaux’s behaviour. Heaving a heavy sigh, I spritzed some perfume, grabbed my purse and made my way down to the taxi rank on the street. Now that everything had changed, I had some important things to attend to.
CHAPTER 37
Sipping on my wine, I allowed the rhythmic tunes of the music to relax me. Standing at the bar I considered my future while I absently watched the barman making mojitos. Draining the glass, I spotted François making his way around the counter. He eyed me, then the empty goblet.
“Another wine, chéri?”
Pursing my lips in thought, I looked behind the bar.
“Tequila please.”
He raised his eyebrows at me knowing I only reserved tequila for Leo. “You sure?”
“Franç
ois, it’s been one of those weeks. I need it.”
Without responding, he put a glass on the bar top and filled it to the brim.
Just as the last song finished, the new one began. I recognised it straight away and as I closed my eyes with a hurting heart, I became lost in a memory so sweet I could almost taste it. I listened to the lyrics unfold in a story full of angst and then reunion. It was the song Leo had selected the night we had danced Bachata before I left. It was our song.
I was pulled from the beautiful memory when two strong arms wrapped around me from behind encasing me against his body. I froze with fear, but only for a second. In front, François’ eyes widened in shock then his lips turned up in a smile.
My traitorous throat constricted even more, blocking air to my lungs. Biting my lip, I failed to get the trembling under control, rivers of tears now cascading down my face.
Smelling his familiar cologne, my body convulsed with the sobs I desperately needed to release. Sobs that could no longer be reined in.
“Shhh, Bella,” Leo’s voice whispered into my ear. Turning my cheek to his, I took pleasure in his warmth, his touch, his scent. I craved everything about him. It didn’t just switch off when I left, it only intensified. Gently turning, I faced the man I loved.
After sixty long days, he hadn’t changed a bit, except for the dark circles under his eyes. He was as handsome as ever and he was here. In Paris. Standing in front of me.
“You’re here!”
“I am.”
His thumbs swiped the tears on each cheek, before drawing me close, lips touching mine softly at first before it all became too much. Falling into his arms, wrapping mine around his neck, the kiss deepened our tongues meeting for a slow dance. He tasted just the way I remembered him, his lips still as possessive as when I left.