“What may I do for you?”
I twist my hands in my lap. I've been so nervous thinking about how to say this and I still don't have the slightest clue.
“I'm here because I’ve been having some… impure thoughts lately.”
I’m so ashamed, I can’t even look him in the eye. He leans back in his chair and maintains a contemplative look.
“What kind of thoughts?”
“I started a new job—”
“Yes, your parents told me,” he cuts in. “At a law firm?”
I nod.
“I wasn’t sure that was the wisest choice,” he says. “Those places can be dens of sin. You are still quite an innocent young lady and I don’t see why you couldn’t have come to work for me, doing administrative work here at the church.”
I blink, wanting him to stay on topic. Folding bulletins and writing to missionaries is stuff that I did when I was in middle and high school. It’s part of my past experience that I used to get this job. It’s not what I wanted to keep doing forever.
I don’t even know what I want to do forever, although that certainly isn’t it, and working at a law firm isn’t either. It’s just a stepping stone, so that I can move out of my parents’ house and figure out what’s next. But I’m not about to tell Pastor Nichols that, since he doesn’t even like I’m working as a receptionist. I clear my throat, and start over.
“So, I started a new job and on the first day we had this thing where we met the various bosses. I met one of the owners and he took me upstairs…” I trail off, unsure of myself.
“Continue.” I can’t tell what Pastor Nichols is thinking. His face is a wall of neutrality.
“He took me upstairs and he hit on me and I kind of liked it,” I smile, remembering our meeting. I decide that’s the best way to say it for now— it gives Pastor Nichols a hint about what’s going on, without having to tell the whole story, for which I could end up ostracized.
I can’t help but think back to my rendezvous with Jameson Reed. It wasn’t just sexual desire, at least on my end. I also liked his personality. Plus, I felt comfortable around him. I wouldn’t have let him do all those things to me if I didn’t. It has to mean something.
Stop thinking that, I will myself. He does it with lots of girls. He’s a pro. It means nothing.
“What exactly do you mean?” Pastor Nichols asks.
Darn. Guess I won’t be let off the hook that easily.
“He started touching my arm and my neck and I let him kiss me. I started to think about letting him do other things, but I know it’s wrong and I—”
“Did you let him do anything else to you?” Pastor Nichols is almost shouting at me; he looks furious.
I knew it. I’m depraved. I’m a whore. Lord have mercy, I’m going to burn in hell for eternity. And he doesn’t even know how far I let Mr. Reed go.
I shake my head furiously, lying to save my ass.
“No. He only kissed me,” I whisper.
The pastor nods and some of his anger dissipates.
“That’s good, that’s good. What you did is still very sinful, Erin, but it’s good you didn’t let it go any further. I’m not surprised this ‘man’— and I say that with sarcasm— hit on you like this. It’s exactly what I was afraid of and why I wasn’t happy to hear you had started working for a law firm. You can’t let this man take advantage of you, even if he is your boss. You need to avoid temptation and to do that you must avoid him. You need to hold onto your purity. Do not let him take it. You can never sleep with him, no exceptions.”
I nod. I’m a little confused because he’s making it sound as if I had no mind of my own— just like my parents always do— and that Jameson drugged me or something. Clearly, I was quite into it. But, that’s besides the point and I can’t exactly tell him that.
Pastor Nichols is right. No matter how much my body wants it, I cannot have sex with Mr. Reed. I can’t do anything of a sexual nature with him.
I thank the pastor and leave, mulling over his words as I drive home. From now on, I decide, I’ll avoid Mr. Reed, just like I told him I needed to do. It’s for the best.
Chapter 11
Erin
I get home and my parents already know I was with the pastor. He must’ve called, letting them know I visited. But due to their lack of anger, I can tell he didn’t tell them about the content of our visit.
I’m thankful for that, but it still feels like my movements are under scrutiny. It’s like there is no trust. I’ve never done anything, until now, to warrant such surveillance.
They always say, “It’s not that we don’t trust you, we don’t trust the world.”
That doesn’t make my life feel as if it’s any less under lockdown. But maybe I need to be reined in. At the first chance, I made a mistake and let my boss touch me. Not just touch me, but spread my legs and lick me all over.
That's not the best way to inspire my parents’ confidence in my goodness. And it's also not the best way for me to accomplish my own goal of not thinking about Jameson, and all the delicious things he did to me.
The next day, I manage to avoid Jameson for the first half of the day, but after lunch I have to deliver some files to all four partners. I save him for last, starting with Mr. Mack. When I get to his office, he’s on the phone, so I silently place the envelope on his desk.
I hear him talking to someone on the phone. “I would love it if you could start right away,” he’s saying.
I try to hurry out so he doesn’t think I’m eavesdropping. But before I leave, he puts his hand over the receiver and motions for me to wait a second.
“You’re Erin, right?” I’m surprised he even knows my name. I nod. “I’d suggest treading carefully around here. There are some real vipers.”
He goes back to his call, effectively dismissing me and I’m left to wonder what his enigmatic warning means. I head to Mr. Marks’ office next, but he’s not in, so I just slide the file under his door. The next stop is Mr. Sanchez and before I even knock on the door he opens it and invites me to take a seat.
“Hello, Erin. I was hoping to have a little chat with you.”
Wow. Two partners in one day. I wonder if I should be worried. We both sit down.
“Yes, Mr. Sanchez.”
He leans back in his chair and gives me a smile. There’s something off about it though. He looks as if he’s about to give me a lecture.
Oh, great.
Maybe he’s heard about Jameson and me after all. Doesn’t he know I just purged myself of the sin by confessing to my pastor? Then I remind myself that there’s no way he could know that, and that hopefully he doesn’t know much else, either. I tap my foot impatiently, willing myself to hear him out.
“I noticed at the party the other night, you left with Jim. Mr. Reed, that is.”
Oh no. He does know what happened. I am about to be fired for being a slut.
“I also saw you were in his office yesterday," he continues. "Would you mind telling me what you two did?”
Maybe he doesn’t know. Another lie can’t hurt, right?
“Mr. Reed was showing me around the office. I was like a deer in headlights at the party and he picked up on it. He thought if I got a look around, it would all seem less intimidating. And I had to go to his office the next day because I’d left my notepad behind. He was nice enough to personally return it to me.”
I look at Mr. Sanchez, praying he buys my excuse. I have gotten very good at lying over these past few days. I don’t even want to know what this indicates. Mr. Sanchez doesn’t say anything for a minute, but then he leans forward, extending his hand.
“I want to thank you for letting me know.” I accept his hand and shake it. “Sorry, if I seem nosy, but I just want to make sure you feel safe here.”
Safe? I highly doubt it.
But for some reason, safe isn’t what I wanted to feel with Jameson. I wanted to feel dangerous, daring, sexy.
Mr. Sanchez drops my hand and stands.
I follow suit. He comes around his desk and leads me to the door.
“If anything untoward happens between you and Mr. Reed or anyone who works here, I want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me.”
Untoward? Like I’d tell him. Something untoward definitely happened, and seems to be continuing to happen, in my head at least. But that is nothing I will mention to Mr. Sanchez or anyone here. The last thing I need is to get fired so soon after starting to work here, or for Jameson to get into trouble.
I mumble a thank you and leave. I make a mental note to try not to go into Cameron Sanchez’s office when he’s there. His stern admonishments are the last thing I need in the middle of whatever it is that is going on— or not going on, I tell myself— with Jameson Reed and me.
I head to my last destination– Mr. Reed’s office. I knock and hope he’s not here, but I’m not that lucky.
Or am I?
“Come in.”
Yes, Boss, I can’t help but think. Take me. Now.
Chapter 12 – Erin
I open the door slowly, clutching the final file to my chest. Jameson’s at his desk, shuffling through some papers. He looks up and sees me and a smile comes across his face. “Erin, what a pleasant surprise.”
I move towards him and hold out the file.
“I have this for you.”
He makes no move to take it, so I place it on his desk. I turn around to leave, but his voice stops me.
“Wait. Please sit down.”
I turn back around and head towards him. I sit in the seat I occupied just yesterday. His smile fades and I can feel him scrutinizing me. His eyes explore my face and my body as if he’s looking for something. Why is this office full of such bizarre men? Except that one is just as sexy as he is bizarre. Darn.
“Did you want to talk to me about something?”
He stops analyzing me and looks directly into my eyes, which is somehow much worse. I squirm in my seat under his gaze.
“I wanted to let you know I’ve been thinking about you a lot,” he says.
This piques my interest to the point that I have a little conversation in my head.
He’s been thinking about me? In what way? Nope. You know what? I don’t need to know. Do I want to know? Doesn’t matter because I don’t need to know.
“Something about you has got my head spinning and I’d like it to stop.”
He’s a very forward man. I like the lack of guesswork when I’m around him, but then the downside is he doesn’t try to hide exactly what he wants from me. There are no pretenses, for better or worse.
“What do you want me to do?” I ask him.
What can I do? I ask myself.
I don’t have the power to infiltrate his mind and erase all traces of me. If I did, I’d do it to myself and get him out of my head. And even then, is it my job to keep his mind clear of me? I haven’t done anything spectacular to warrant this. Except maybe the whole oral sex in the conference room thing… but still! That was him, doing something to me.
“It’s more what I can do to you.” He says it so nonchalantly, it would be easy to ignore the suggestion. All I have to do is say no. And anyway, I’m supposed to be avoiding him. I should leave. I should stand up and walk away, but I’m a glutton for punishment. “But, it’s all so-”
“What would you do to me?” I ask with a whisper. I look at my hands in my lap, not sure if I can look at him right now. I’m wading into dangerous waters, but at this moment, I don’t care. I just have to make sure I don’t drown. He doesn’t say anything, so I look up at him and say a little louder, “What would you do to me?”
“Do you really want to know?”
There’s a warning in his voice. He’s giving me a way out and I should take it. It’s what I’m supposed to do. It’s the proper thing to do. But I don’t want to do what’s necessary and proper. I want to do what’s sinful.
“Yes. Tell me.”
He repositions himself in his chair, leaning back to get a better view of me.
“I’d undress you slowly, taking the time to touch every inch of your body. Running my hands over your smooth skin. But I wouldn’t just touch you, I’d use my mouth as well. I’d place little bites all over. I want your skin buzzing with thoughts of me. I’d also have you undress me. I want you just as familiar with my body as I’d be with yours.”
He pauses for a second and clears his throat. I’m on pins and needles until he continues.
“Once we’re both naked, I’d fuck you with my fingers until you orgasm at least twice. I didn’t get the chance to watch you come undone, so I’d watch your face as you came on my hand. I’d take you against the wall, so you could feel the friction on your back as well as between us. I’d take you on my bed, so I could feel you move underneath me. I’d thrust into you over and over until all you could say was my name and then go even harder until you couldn’t say anything at all. Afterwards, we’d take a shower together where I’d fuck you again. But I also want to fuck you while your face is pressed against my desk. You’d be leaning over it, offering yourself to me. Maybe we’d do it in the middle of the day. The thrill of being caught coursing through our veins.”
Woah. He said fuck a lot. Sounds like there’d be a lot of fucking if he had his way. What he describes has such an effect on me that I have to bring my knees together. The pulsing between my legs is growing stronger and stronger and I’m afraid I’ll lose any semblance of control.
I think he sees this and turns the tables.
“What would you do to me?”
“What would I…?” I don’t even finish the thought. His question has caught me off guard. Can I even say it out loud? “I think I would restrain your wrists.”
“Restrain my wrists?”
I can tell he wasn’t expecting that answer. I get a thrill from surprising him. I even surprised myself. I can’t believe I said it out loud. I nod and continue.
“I’d want to see you struggle against the binding as I looked at your chest, licked it maybe—”
Before I can finish, there’s a knock at the door and I’m brought out of my fantasy. Jameson mumbles a curse and tells me to stay seated. He goes to open the door and Mr. Sanchez is on the other side. He sees me and I stand up immediately.
“I really ought to be going.”
Jameson looks at me as if he’s about to protest, but I jump in before he can say anything.
“Thank you again for returning my notebook, yesterday when I came into your office. It would’ve taken me forever to get into the conference room and retrieve it myself.”
He looks confused by my long-winded statement, but I hope he understands soon. He probably has a better grasp of the type of person Mr. Sanchez is, how he can be so stern and foreboding and that it’s best for us to cover our tracks as much as possible. I push myself past the two partners and head back downstairs to further chastise myself for almost getting carried away again.
Chapter 12
Jameson
The moment she sees Ron, Erin bolts. She says some cryptic thing about me returning her notebook?
I have a feeling it has something to do with Ron’s sudden appearance, but I can’t make much sense of it. I’m assuming she was just coming up with a flimsy reason to have been in here talking to me.
I don’t want her to go. But before I can convince her to stay, she’s gone and I’m left with the bringer of my misery.
“What do you want, Sanchez?”
I can see him trying to get a peek into my office. No doubt looking for evidence of hanky-panky.
To be honest, if he had been 20 minutes later, I don’t know what state he would have found me and Erin in. When I asked her what she wanted to do to me, I hadn’t expected tying me up to be on the menu.
I wish I could’ve heard the end of her fantasy. I desperately need to uncover all of her pent-up sex drive. She clearly has a very dirty mind she’s never explored until I brought the key to unlock it.
I want to do everything she’s
ever wanted and more. I want to take her so bad, to give her everything, any way she wants it.
“I just wanted to see if you had a chance to go over the new file,” Ron says.
He holds up a manila envelope identical to the one Erin just dropped off in my office. He knows I haven’t had the chance to review it. Even if I wasn’t just playing ‘Name Your Fantasy,’ it would’ve taken me a lot more time to take a look at that file.
This is clearly just a ruse. He expected to walk in on something and for once I’m glad nothing happened.
“I haven’t had the time yet. But when I do, you’ll be the first to know, Ron.”
With that, I walk over and close the door and then go back to sit at my desk. What am I doing with this girl? I met her three days ago and I’m pursuing her like some of wild beast. But even worse, whenever she leaves, I feel like some kind of lost puppy.
I even asked Monique to make sure she delivered all the files from her floor to this one. Is there even a point to all of this? I’m not used to feeling like this and I’m not sure what it even means.
I rub my hands on my face and try to snap out of the sex haze that’s taken over my mind. I have got to get this girl out of my mind before she drives me crazy.
Right now, I need to get back to work. I can worry about Erin later.
Chapter 13
Erin
I spend the rest of the day focused on work. If I keep my mind occupied, it can’t wander to other places. Other darker, very forbidden places. Soon, it’s no longer light outside and I’ve stayed way past the typical clock out time.
I had had a chat with my parents concerning my work schedule. It took some convincing, but I was able to make them understand I’d be home late sometimes.
They weren’t too happy to hear this, but since it was for my job, they accepted my explanation. They kind of seemed happy that I was simply talking to them. I think they feel lonely now that I’m gone every day, working so much.
Forever, Boss: Bad Boy Office Romance Series Box Set with Bonus Novella Page 17