“Yes!”
I know I’m close. My stomach’s in knots, it’s agonizing, but heavenly.
“Then look at me. Look at me as you finish.”
I look at him and finally the tension breaks. I have to close my eyes as my orgasm courses through me so violently. I throw my head against the wall and feel it wash over me as he grinds his hips into my pelvis.
My nails dig into his back so forcefully, I potentially break skin, but I don’t know. I can’t even think straight. My walls pulse around him and I hold on to him for dear life.
Not too long after, Jameson finishes, grunting out my name as he makes his final thrust. “Oh, fuck.”
His face is so calm; I wish I could experience this every day. That I could watch him whenever I wanted. I brush my fingers against his cheek. Our breathing evens out as we both come down.
Chapter 19
Erin
“Is it always this good?”
I regret asking it as soon as the words are out of my mouth, but it’s just one more thing I can’t seem to control around him. He cocks his head to the side, contemplating. After taking a few seconds to think, Jameson places a kiss on my forehead and responds.
“Not even close. Even though I shouldn’t be saying that.”
I can tell he doesn’t want to look weak in front of me. But I think he is quite the opposite— strong and sexy. He withdraws himself from me and I let out a little moan that sounds more like a grunt, still sensitive from before.
He takes a step back from the wall and lets me down. I suddenly feel very naked because I am very naked. We’re both very naked. I cross my arms over my chest and look for my clothes.
“Are we doing this again?” he asks.
I stop searching and look back up at him.
“What?”
“Every time something happens between us, you run off. This time I’d like you to stay. Why don’t you stay?”
Stay and do what? Our relationship is so undefined that I never know what to do when I’m around him. I feel like it could fracture at any moment and the ‘us’ that I have built in my mind will disintegrate into nothingness. The more time I spend with him, the more likely he’ll get bored with me and move on to someone better. Instead of saying any of this, I agree to stay for a little while.
“I can stay, but I’d like to get dressed first?”
He relaxes and we both put our clothes back on. Well, Jameson puts on his boxers and t-shirt, but I fully dress myself. He goes to lie down on the couch in the corner of his office and motions for me to lie down on top of him. I do so and he wraps his arms around me. “Only for a little while, then I need to get home…”
The words come out sleepily and I find myself slipping into a dream as Jameson talks to me about… something? I can’t quite make it out. I must’ve been a lot more tired than I thought.
I wake and look up to see Jameson’s face. He’s still asleep and looks quite peaceful. I could wake up to him every morning.
I sigh. Morning? Morning!
I sit up with a start that shakes Jameson awake and realize I spent the night at the office. The very thing I was trying to avoid. Jameson rubs his eyes and lets out a yawn.
“What time is it?” I turn to him and my panicked expression wakes him up. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s morning and everyone’s going to be in the office,” I check my watch, “in about an hour. Plus, I haven’t been home all night!”
I get off of him and rush to put on my shoes.
“Wait! Where are you going?”
“I wasn’t supposed to spend the night and now I need to get home.” I’m on the verge of tears. There is no way I’m going to be able to explain my way out of this. “I wasn’t supposed to spend the night.”
I don’t let him answer and I run out of the office. I jump in my car and rush home. The whole way home, my phone is vibrating with a lot of missed calls and messages, but I don’t want to deal with knowing they’re from my parents, who will be mad enough when I get home to face the music.
I arrive and run up the steps, but before I can get inside, my dad opens the door. My mom is standing behind him and from their expressions, I can tell they are more than angry with me.
“Mom, Dad. I can explain.”
“No. We’ve let you explain too much.” My dad’s tone is even, but I can hear the anger behind his voice. “You’re going to have to see Pastor Nichols. He’s the only one who can help us now.”
My heart sinks and for the first time since last night, I feel bad about sleeping with Jameson. I was so caught up in fulfilling my desires, that I let them get the better of me and I slept with him. The one thing I promised myself I wouldn’t do. The one thing I was told never to do. I go inside to clean myself up and then head over to the church to ask for forgiveness for my sins.
Chapter 20
Jameson
It’s been seven days since I’ve seen Erin. The first two days were the weekend, so that was expected. The next two, I dealt with her absence well.
I thought, “Maybe she just wanted to take a few days off.”
But by the seventh, I was confused. We slept together and then she ran away. She ran away again. I’ve never had a woman run away from me before. It’s usually quite the opposite—I’m the one running away from them. But Erin she does it so much.
Spending time in my office doesn’t help. Every time I sit at my desk, I remember kissing her breasts, undressing her, having sex with her against the wall. Even falling asleep with her on the couch.
I cannot believe I fell asleep with her on the couch. Maybe she’s mad I let her sleep through the night. It was the just the feeling of her on my body. I had thought a mandatory cuddle would’ve been nice, given she just lost her virginity, but I know it was just an excuse. I wanted to be close to her. I didn’t want the night to end.
This is not like me at all. I usually have a strict no cuddle rule. What the hell is this girl doing to me?
My partners have noticed me moping. I once again can’t get a read for Garrett’s emotions, but Ron always seems to have a relieved expression on his face, as if he’s glad that Erin is gone, while Asher is worried. He’s been avoiding talking about it, but today, I can tell he’s had enough. About midday, he comes bursting into my office, wanting answers.
“Okay. What is it, Jameson? You’ve been a bucket of fucking sadness the past three days and I’m sick of it. What is going on?”
He’s taken an aggressive stance in front of my desk. I slowly stand up and make my way around, so we’re face to face.
“It’s Erin, okay? I just— I think I may’ve messed up.”
I run my hand through my hair and rack my brain. I’ve been over all our encounters, but can’t find anything to suggest why she would completely cut me out. It’s just my luck that I’d fall for a girl who wants nothing to do with me, when it’s usually the other way around.
I didn’t fall for her, I tell myself. Did I?
Asher grabs my shoulders and shakes me, pulling me back into the moment.
“What did you do? Dear God, Jim, what did you do?”
I feel bad letting my friend down, but I don’t regret any of it for one second. Even one night with her is worth it. That isn’t to say I don’t intensely want more, because I do. I can’t even fucking deny it to myself anymore.
“I slept with her and she hasn’t been back to work since and I’m worried that—”
“You slept,” he starts off shouting, but quickly brings it down to a loud whisper, “with her? After we all had a meeting about the firm’s image crisis? Need I remind you that an image crisis can lead to an actual crisis? What if she sues? What if Ron finds out? Do you have a plan?”
He’s assaulting me with questions I have no answers to, but soon his tone turns a bit more caring. I can tell he’s telling himself not to be a hypocrite. And I do understand why he’s mad. I have put the company in jeopardy. But this time, it wasn’t just for my libido. It may’ve
started out that way, but I found myself genuinely liking Erin’s presence. She managed to fit into my life, so perfectly. And any moves I made were done because I wanted her to stay. Because I didn’t want to lose her.
“I know people have said that you come across as a saint but you have all these secret relationship,” Asher says, running his hand through his hair as if he’s trying to figure everything out. “I wasn’t sure if I should believe them or not. Frankly, it wasn’t any of my business. I wasn’t one to talk, and as long as you weren’t getting the firm in trouble, I didn’t care what you did. But what I’m trying to figure out is, why now? Why her? Just when we’re facing this crisis as a firm…”
“I know,” I tell Asher, patting him on the shoulder. “I know. It makes no sense. And none of the rest have been like her. If it wasn’t her, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. I’d be done with her and would have moved onto the next just like I usually do.”
“Holy shit,” Asher says, throwing his hands up in resignation. “That’s it.”
“What’s it?” I ask. He’d better not dare threaten me. I’m just as important to this firm as he is. I may have messed up, but he can’t toss me out.
“That’s it, you’re in fucking love,” he says.
I suck my breath in and just look at him, surprised not only at what he said but also that he’s right. At least, I think he’s right?
“In love?” I ask, as if it’s a foreign language. “How do you know?”
“Because this is the same fucking thing that happened to me and Madilyn,” he says. “Same exact way, pretty much.”
I’m about to ask Asher more questions about this crazy thing called love when we hear someone at the door— which neither of us had bothered to shut. We both turn and see Katie standing there, giving us an amused look. She always looks like she knows more than the rest of us. And she probably does. She did, after all, manage to make one of the richest men in the world fall in love with her.
“What are you two chit chatting about?” she asks, in her normal daring way.
I turn towards Asher, not sure what he plans to do. He could tell everyone, we’d have another meeting of the partners, and I could technically be forced out or he could try and protect me.
“We’re just having a friendly chat about…” I can see him searching for an excuse. He’s usually much better on his feet, but emotions are running high for him.
Katie basically ignores him and without missing a beat says, “Because if it’s about the receptionist named Erin you’ve been so obviously crushing on, Jim, I thought you should know she just quit. Monique told Claude, while Ruby and I were up there talking to him, and now Ruby is comforting Claude because he misses Erin and was hoping she hadn’t quit. So I decided to come tell you, as I thought you might need some comforting as well.”
Well, that was unexpected. There is a lot to unpack in that sentence. First off, Katie knows a lot more about Erin and me than I thought she did and secondly, Erin quit?
“She quit?”
Why?
Asher interjects with, “More importantly, Katie. How did you know?”
I’m not sure if he’s just perplexed and curious, or if he’s wondering the same thing I am—who else knows? Does Ron know? Am I in trouble?
Chapter 21
Jameson
“I know everything,” Katie says. “I learn it all in the books I’m always reading.”
We look at her, not sure whether she’s serious or joking.
“And from some life experience,” she shrugs. “You boys aren’t as smart as you think. It’s obvious when both of you are deeply in love.”
Neither one of us speaks for long enough that Katie takes it as an indication that she’s to leave. “Well, it’s been—”
“Did Erin tell Monique why she quit?”
I mean, I know she was upset about spending the night in my office, but upset enough to leave without even talking to me? Upset enough to quit?
Katie lets out a long sigh before saying anything. “Unfortunately, I don’t really know everything. I didn’t ask and Monique didn’t offer up that information, if she has it.”
That’s disappointing. I need to get answers, find out why—
“However, I decided to check the drawer of her receptionist desk, and it turns out she left a letter for you.”
Katie pulls out a white envelope with my name on it. She walks over and hands it to me. Leave it to Katie to leave the best part for last.
Erin must have come back at some point and left the letter in the drawer, knowing that her good friends she’s always talking to up front would go through it and get it to me. And that’s exactly what Katie had done.
“Is that it?” Asher’s anger has for sure gone down. He seems mainly curious now. Probably wants answers just like I do, but for different reasons.
Katie shrugs.
“Yeah, I guess. The ball’s in your court now, Jim.”
She once again makes to leave, but turns around before exiting. “Listen, Jim. I don’t know how you feel about this girl, but she’s become a friend of mine, and I’ve been through some of this myself, so I’m going to give you some advice right now, and please don’t interrupt me.”
I nod, trying not to think of the audacity of taking advice from her. But she’s right— she’s been through it, and she probably knows more than I do. I still feel shell shocked at even figuring out I’m capable of love.
“From where I stand, you have two options,” she says. “You can leave Erin alone. She’s left quietly without any fuss and the firm can move forward with no blemishes to its name. Because I need you to know something. I like you. You’re not a bad guy, but since my husband, and Madilyn’s, and Ruby’s, are all tied up in this with you, if you do something to put us at risk, your ass is on the curb. People have families to feed around here.”
I know she’s right, in her own gruff, blunt way. Business or love? Love? Do I… love Erin? Or am I starting to fall in love with her?
“However, if you’re serious about Erin, I say go for it. I find the whole business or love debate redundant. It’s easy to have both if you’re willing to work for it.”
Woah. I feel like she just read my mind. She really might just know everything.
“And with that, I’ll leave you two. Make the right decision.”
She’s out the door just as quickly as she’d arrived. Damn that Katie, so full of wisdom for her young age.
“That crazy Katie. No wonder Madilyn likes her so much.”
Asher shakes his head. He’s clearly just as amazed as I am.
“I think you’re right. I feel smarter and wiser after that.”
Asher looks away from the door and turns to me.
“It’s pretty much what I had said, first,” he says, always one to want full credit. “But seriously. Before we make any rash moves, you need to take care of your problem.”
He’s right. I have to deal with Erin first.
“Just tread carefully. This could go so many different ways. Please take my advice this time? And Katie’s, for that matter?”
“I will. I promise. I don’t want to lose Erin.”
His eyes crinkles in surprise, probably taking me seriously for the first time in this conversation.
“Okay, good luck. Welcome to the club, buddy.”
“The club?”
“Of men who never thought they’d fall in love, then proceeded to do just that.”
I smile, half thinking he was going to say, “Sugar Daddy Central.”
Asher pats my arm and leaves my office. He closes the door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I sit back down and begin to formulate a plan. But first things first, I need to find Erin. I know I can’t just show up at her house, not after everything she’s told me about her parents. But then how?
I turn the letter in my hands. It’s thin. It dawns on me that I’m afraid to open it. Unopened, there are endless possibilities for what Erin’s note co
uld contain. Given the circumstances, it’s probably bad news, but a man can hope. I take the plunge and open it up. There’s a single piece of paper inside with not much written on it. I take a deep breath and read it.
Dear Mr. Reed,
Sorry, I’ve left with such short notice, but I took some time to reevaluate my recent choices and realized I couldn’t work with you anymore. This doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy our time together. I’m just too conflicted. Please take care of yourself.
Erin.
My heart drops. The letter is so formal. Why does she keep doing this? I know she had to make it look innocuous, not knowing who might find it or read it, but still, it fucking hurts.
Chapter 22
Jameson
I need to ask her and maybe if I know why she’s so scared, I can convince her to stay with me. I think really hard and remember that she told me she likes to run every morning. During our late night chat, she described her usual route. Hopefully, she’s still doing it.
The next morning, I wait for Erin along the route of her run. It does feel a little creepy standing by for her. I see her turn the corner and get up from the bench I’d been sitting on. She doesn’t immediately notice me. I watch as she comes down the road.
She looks absolutely beautiful. Her eyes finally reach me and her pace slows. She takes a quick look around before her eyes settle on me again. I think she’s processing the fact that I’m here. She slowly jogs over to me, but still keeps a decent distance between us.
“What are you doing here?”
I’d prepared some words, but it all seems futile now. Erin isn’t someone I planned for and I can’t treat her like I do everything else in my life.
“I wanted to know why you left without saying goodbye.”
She looks a little uncomfortable, grabbing her arm and curling into her body a little. I want to hold her but I know now is not the time. Like Asher said, I need to be careful.
Forever, Boss: Bad Boy Office Romance Series Box Set with Bonus Novella Page 20