I ask Brent, “So where ya taking them tonight?”
He looks at me and says, “Just out for some good ol’ boy stuff.”
“Fair enough. Don’t leave him to drink alone, please.”
“I know it’s evil but I’m glad that sick bitch is dead, she deserved what she got.”
“That and she is in the past now, and I’m happy that she’s off this planet too. Let’s go find that handsome brother of yours.”
“You mean the less handsome brother, right?”
I smile and say, “Oh definitely.”
He pushes my head lightly and says, “That didn’t sound very convincing.” I just smile and keep walking.
I hear Cassie tell Brent, “Babe, to me you are the most handsome man in the world.” I turn my head and catch him giving her a kiss.
I think it’s very sweet but I say, “Damn, y’all can’t wait until I show you to your room?”
Brent says, “It was a long drive.”
“The room is all yours and the kids are with Grammie and Papa, so have at it.” They begin walking double time. When we get inside I just point and tell them which room is theirs because I’m sure they were ready to push me aside and find any available room.
They both look back and say, “See you in a few.” I just raise my hand and laugh.
Tanner comes up from behind me and wraps me up against his chest. He says, “Nice having everybody here.”
“I kind of wish we were all gonna be together tonight instead of separated.”
He smiles and says, “Babe, I was thinking the same thing. It’s not bad luck for us to be together the night before we get married. When you are getting dressed, I just won’t look. The house is plenty big enough for us to stay away from each other tomorrow. I can cancel the reservations, just give me the word.”
“Let me run it by Mom first and get her opinion.”
He kisses my cheek and says, “I saw the kids, but where’s Brent and Cassie?”
“They ran to their room to have uninterrupted parent sex.”
“Oh, okay.”
Chapter 29
‘The memories that made me the man I am today.'
Tanner –
The buzzer goes off for the front gate and Lyrics runs past me and clicks the button.
“I’m here to deliver Dylan’s dress.”
She jumps up and down and yells, “Will you get Mom and tell her it’s here? Oh yeah, would you go out back until I tell you it’s all clear for you to come out?” I can’t help but smile, I love seeing her happy, always have.
“I’m on it.” She runs outside. I knock on Mom’s door and say, “Ma, it’s here.”
She opens the door and runs right past me to Sophia’s room and yells, “It’s here!” All I see is Mom and Sophia running down the hall. I hear Mom yell upstairs, “Cassie, it’s here!” She runs down the stairs and I hear the front door open and slam shut. There’s little funnier than a bunch of men with dumbfounded looks on their faces. I sit down with dad in his room and Brent peeks his head in and says, “Bro, I’m not doing that when you put your tux on.” We all laugh.
Chip stands at the doorway with total excitement and says, “Oh my god, her dress is here!” We all die laughing. “What? You guys aren’t excited? It’s her wedding dress for crying out loud. Huh, I figured everybody gets excited about the dress. Well fuck it, I’m excited and going to see it!”
I yell as he walks away, “I’m excited too bro.”
He yells back, “Whatever.”
Been a long time since Brent, Dad, and I sat down together, just us three. I ask Brent, “You sure you okay with hanging out here tonight?”
“Yeah bro, it’ll be a blast. The best times I’ve had have been with all these crazy women.”
Dad says, “They sure are crazy, every last one of them, but could you imagine what we’d be without them? Forty years with that beautiful woman and wouldn’t you know it, she still surprises me with shit she says and does. Crazy, absolutely, but I tell you what, I’d be lost without that Angel. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that both my boys have wives that will do the same as your Mama’s done for me. I had the talk with your brother before he married Cassie and I’m gonna have the talk with you too, son.”
I interrupt him and say, “Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees.”
“I’m sure you think you do, but this ain’t about sex, you nimrod. This is about being a man when it really counts. Now, I know you’ve known Dylan for most your life and you’ve loved that sweet girl probably since the day y’all met, but marriage is a whole different game. Being the man means something different each and every day, but it always means showing her that she’s the most important person in your world. It means protecting her, loving her even when you want to choke the last breath out of her. Son, it means listening to her dreams and doing whatever it takes to help her achieve them. Sometimes you’re gonna have to throw the towel in on an argument and just take one for the team. Of course, I know you and Brent both are great men, but should you ever need us, your Mama and I are always here for you.” He shakes my hand and gives me a hug and says, “Proud of you son, love you.” I’m absolutely floored. My dad has always been there for us, but Mom’s the one that gives these speeches.
“Thanks Dad. For everything, I mean you’ve been a great role model for us our whole lives. Because of you, I do know that I’ll be a successful husband and father. I love you, Pops.”
Brent sings, “And I swear.”
Dad swats the back of his head and says, “Oh please, when I gave you the talk, I’m pretty sure I saw a tear fall.”
“I had something in my eye, geez.”
“Yeah, a tear.” I look up at the door and there she is, my soon-to-be bride. Her hair drapes over her shoulder and those blue eyes flitter with yellow sparkles. My words are gone and I’m stuck in awe.
Dad smacks my head and says, “Snap out of it, fool.”
Like I was in a trance or something, I look at Lyrics and say, “Is the coast clear for us to come out now?”
“It sure is.” We all stand up at once and head to the family room. The way she looks right now is possibly the sexiest I’ve ever seen her. She’s in sweat pants, an old concert t-shirt, her hair is up, she has absolutely no make-up on, and she is stunning. She wraps her arm in mine and she looks up and asks, “Would you make a fire please?”
I kiss her forehead and say, “Me man, me make fire.”
“Tis why I love you; well one of the many reasons.”
Everybody gathers on the living room floor, around the fireplace.
Mom says, “This is the perfect time to share some of our memories.”
“Ma, we all know them.”
“Wrong son! Anthony and Lorenzo haven’t heard them.”
Before I can say anything, both guys say, “I want to hear these stories.”
“Just remember, y’all asked for it!”
Mom says, “Oh hush, these are great stories.”
I smile and say, “Just giving you a hard time Ma. I love these stories, you know that.”
Mom says, “I’ve got the perfect one to tell. The Hulk Hogan doll one.”
Brent says, “Not a doll Ma, it was an action figure, and the coolest one ever.” Everybody tries to suppress their laughter but are not doing a great job at it.
Mom says, “Brent was about eleven years old and Tan was I guess six. Hulk Hogan was the biggest thing out and Brent was like his number one fan. For Christmas that year, Bo and I got him this Hulk Hogan doll, oh, action figure, sorry Brent. This action figure had all the bells and whistles and he loved it so much, he slept with it. Brent would constantly have Tanner in some crazy wrestling choke hold and one day he just pushed his little brother too far. Tanner comes stomping into the kitchen with tears streaming down his cute little red cheeks and there’s a bright red choke mark on his throat. He tells me between crying breaths that Brent had choked him and called him a girl. Brent comes into the kit
chen, practically skipping and sings, ‘Tanner is a girl, Tanner is a girl’ I thought he was going to turn green, like the real Hulk, he was so mad. Tanner runs as fast as he can into Brent’s room, grabs his most prized possession, and runs outside with it. Before Brent knew what was going on, Tanner had already fired up the John Deere and had that action figure lying in the path. When Brent ran outside, Tanner rode that small tractor directly over poor Hulk. Hulk didn’t stand a chance, he split into many pieces. What Tanner didn’t think through was how he’d get away from his big brother after that. I ran out and had to practically hose Brent off him. They hated each other for about three days and then everything was okay again.”
I laugh and say, “Ma, you made me use my Christmas money to buy him a new one.”
Brent says, “Rightfully so, geez. Tucker has that Hulk in his room, still plays with it. When y’all have a son, it’ll go to him.”
Lyrics says sarcastically, “The family heirloom, Hulk Hogan.” We all laugh.
Sophia says, “Speaking of babies.”
I quickly say, “We’re practicing a lot.”
Lyrics punches my arm and Dad says, “Practice makes perfect.”
I smile and say, “Actually, we are gonna start shooting for bullseye after the wedding.” The buzzer for the gate goes off. I jump up and say, “Oh shit, I forgot about Chauncy.” I push the button to open the gate and then head out to the driveway.
Being the dramatic person she is, she gets out of the car and grabs my face and says, “Oh honey, I wish you’d told me everything that happened. I had to hear it from Chip. Are you okay? I heard that skinny little bitch killed herself, which I toasted to by the way.”
I give her a kiss on the cheek and say, “I’m fine now. I didn’t tell you ‘cause I didn’t want you to worry, and I know how you worry. Anyway, that’s behind us now.”
Chauncy gets this crazy agent smile on her face and says, “Well, honey, it’s almost over. Chip and I have been talking to the legal department at the Gap and they want to give you a ‘we fucked up’ gift of sorts.” I’m completely confused.
I ask her, “Chauncy, I’m really not following you, what do you mean?”
She smiles, gently smacks my cheek, and says, “Put it this way, kid, you think you’re rich now, but your net worth is about to double.” I can’t wrap my head around what’s going on.
“All this happened without me even knowing?”
“They didn’t want a big court thing, so to avoid the media, they agreed to a settlement. Between Chip and I, they didn’t stand a chance and we didn’t want you to be dragged through this whole mess again. Grab my bags and let’s get inside already. Nice foliage by the way. Music notes, that’s cute. Get that dumb redneck look off your gorgeous face, honey. Chip and I will explain it in greater detail to you and that best friend of yours. How many times did you tell me that you two were just best friends? My guess is at least one million times? I knew you two were in love the whole time.” Chauncy is always dressed to the hilt and her hair is never out of place. I grab the two huge suitcases from her car and I swear this woman has packed enough clothes to last her two weeks.
I grunt and say, “How long are you staying for?”
“I figure until Sunday, I’m planning to party tomorrow.”
I laugh and say, “Did you pack a couple of small people in these bags?”
“Oh, just wait, honey, you’re about to get married, you’ll see.”
“I’ve known Lyrics my whole life and I’ve always had to double check her bags to make sure she brings enough stuff. If it were up to her she’d pack two jeans, a skirt, two t-shirts, undies, and flip flops for a month-long ski vacation.”
Chauncy laughs and says, “Well damn it, kid, beauty doesn’t come naturally to me the way it does for her.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, you are very beautiful inside and out.”
She pinches my cheek and says, “God, you’re a good man. Let me get in and meet the two that raised you so right.”
I smile and say, “They’ve wanted to meet you for years now. Let’s head on in.”
I open the door and Lyrics yells, “Ms. Chauncy!” She gets up and gives her a big welcoming hug. The whole room stands up and I see Chauncy’s eyes kind of bulge out.
I introduce her to everybody and she says in her deep Brooklyn accent, “Oy Vey! Which one of you strong handsome men can fix me a stiff one?”
Lorenzo says, “You got it.”
Lyrics’ dad says, “He sure likes the cougars, doesn’t he?”
The whole room busts up except Lorenzo who says, “Hey, when I see a beautiful woman, age means nothing. She did say handsome and stiff, clearly she was speaking to me.”
Everybody almost simultaneously says, “I’ll take a drink too.”
Brooke tugs on my shirt and says, “Uncle Tan, what’s a cougar?”
I yell to Lorenzo, “Make mine a double!” This is going to be a night that none of us will soon forget.
I lean down and kiss my soon-to-be wife on her lip-smacked lips and say, “I’m so happy we decided to merge parties tonight. I love you.”
“You better ‘cause you’re stuck with me forever!” I
smile, kiss her again and say, “That’s my plan.”
Mom says, “Don’t make me get the hose out again.” Everybody chuckles.
Chauncy says, “Oh, a hot tub.”
Lorenzo brings her the drink and says, “Let me know when you want to check that out and I’ll join you.”
Lyrics says, “Mom, now you can get the hose out.”
Brent coughs and says, “Cock block,” then coughs again.
Dad says, “Your kids are right here, jackass.”
Cassie punches his arm and says, “Do you really want to explain what that means to your daughter?” Brent shakes his head no with a look of shame plastered on his face. It’s hilarious to me.
Chip says in my ear, “Speaking of cock, did you invite any prospects for me?”
“We did and I think you’ll really hit it off. His name is Tyler.”
Lyrics punches my arm and says, “He’s lying. Tyler is not, well, I’m pretty sure he only goes for women. We did invite our friend Mikey and he’s gorgeous, gay, and an absolute sweetheart.”
Chip asks,” Did he RSVP for one or two?”
Lyrics says, “He will be here all by himself, probably looking for somebody perfect like you.”
Chip pulls Lyrics in for a hug and says, “Dylan, such an angel. Is Mikey a drummer by any chance? I love a drummer.”
Shocked, I say, “Actually he is.”
Chip clinks my glass and says, “Cheers!”
Everybody is having a great time, drinking, talking, and laughing. Lyrics stands up and says, “Um, what do y’all want for dinner? We didn’t have anything planned because we were not all going to be here tonight, but I can order in right now.”
Mom says, “Oh I know. How about Arpeggio Grill? That restaurant is fabulous. Do y’all like Mediterranean food?”
Everybody says, “Yes.”
Mom says, “I’ll order.” I give Mom my card and she says, “Put that away, you ninny. This is like the rehearsal dinner, we got it.”
I put my card away and both Lyrics and I say, “Thank you.”
Lorenzo asks Mom, “About how long do you think we have before they deliver the food?” I knew where he was going with this but Mom didn’t.
“Oh, if you’re hungry I can fix you a snack.”
“No ma’am, I’m wondering if I have time to dip into the hot tub.” I roll my eyes and wait for it.
Mom says, “They estimated it to be about two hours, so I’d say you have time.”
Lorenzo walks up to Chauncy and says, “Ready to relax in the hot tub?” Lyrics pinches my arm and I can’t help but laugh. What I didn’t expect was Chauncy’s answer.
She asks, “Are suits required?”
Lorenzo says, “Absolutely not.”
I interrupt and say, “Yes, y
es they are absolutely required.”
Chauncy points at me and says, “Cock block.” Laughter erupts throughout the room. Stephen and Sophia decide to join them, too. One-by-one, everybody decides it’s hot tub time.
I say, “Hey Tuck, Brooke, y’all can swim in the pool, it’s heated.”
Brent says, “Hey Mom, would you keep your eye on them out there?” Both Lyrics and I see him tug on Cassie’s shirt.
Lyrics says, “Damn, horn dogs.”
Brent wiggles his eyebrows and says, “Well, look at her, she’s smokin hot.”
“Can’t argue there, bro.” Just like that, it’s just me and Lyrics. Alone. Oh, what shall we do? Apparently, I wasn’t the only one thinking that. Lyrics grabs my arm and leads me into the bedroom. Suddenly my pants feel tight.
Chapter 30
‘You’re my forever gal and I’m your always guy.’
Lyrics –
I pull Tanner into our room and say, “Babe, we have about an hour to ourselves. You thinking what I’m thinking?”
He pulls me against his body, slides his hands down my sweats, and says, “I sure hope so.”
I push him back and say, “That sounds nice, but I was actually thinking we could write a song.”
He adjusts himself and says with a frown and a snare, “Oh yeah, that sounds good too.”
I tackle him on to the bed and say in my best pouty voice, “This could be the last time I get to write as Dylan Brooks.”
He wraps his arms around me and says, “Alrighty then, let’s write.”
I grab my notepad, Tanner sits against the headboard and I lie on my stomach next to him. My arm grazes his leg and I lose my focus. That body, it’s so warm and inviting. Tanner is on to me and my wondering mind.
He says, “It’s so hot in here, I’m just gonna take my shirt off really quick.” I want to scream no but the words are lost in my desires to see him shirtless. Slowly he pulls his shirt over his head and his stomach muscles are as tight as he can get them. I’m pretty sure I have drool seeping out of my mouth. I can tell he’s cold but he says, “Oh yeah, that’s much better. Babe, before we begin writing, would you be a pal and hand me the baby oil? My skin is just so dry.” Trance-like, I get up to grab the oil.
Soul-O (Music & Lyrics Book 2) Page 17