Peter shook his head as he turned the bright red apple in his hands. “And they call her the monster,” he muttered, walking to a little stone wall that ran around the inn’s garden.
“What do you plan to do?” the firin asked as they seated themselves on the wall.
“I want to take her back with me. She’ll be safe there while I look for answers.”
For some reason, the firin began to chuckle.
“And what’s so amusing about that?” Peter asked.
“Only that you will have to convince her first.”
Peter raised an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t she come?”
“Katy might have the kind of heart willing to forgive a village full of people who want to kill her, but don’t for a second think she’s simply given up that strong will of hers.”
Peter groaned. “So she really meant it then?”
The firin laughed outright this time. “What did you think she meant?”
“I was hoping she was just making threats because she was angry with me.”
The firin smirked again. “Oh, I think you’ll find that our sweet little Katy is more than a touch put out with you.” And with that, he stood and began to walk away, still laughing softly to himself.
“Wait. Why?” Peter stood and called out after him. “You’ll talk to her for me, won’t you? Try to convince her to see sense?”
“I will do my best,” the firin called over his shoulder as he went into the inn, “but you’ll ultimately have to be the one to face her wrath.”
Peter sat back down on the little stone wall. This was going to be much harder than he’d thought.
10
The Way He Looked
Katy gave the firin a fierce look when he walked into her room. The inn was far more comfortable than her cottage, with its patterned stone hearth and the down mattress and pretty yellow curtains hanging in the window. But she had the feeling that as soon as Firin Reagan opened his mouth, it would become the most uncomfortable place she’d ever been.
“I know what you’re going to say,” she said, when he had shut the door. “So please don’t.”
“I hear you spoke with Peter this morning,” the firin said, seating himself on the neatly made little bed.
Katy folded her arms across her chest and hugged herself tightly. She still couldn’t understand exactly what had happened that morning. After years of dreaming he would come back, he finally had. And she was angrier with him than she could have ever imagined. And in awe. And overjoyed.
And angry.
“In the forest. And that was enough for me.”
“Did you ask him what took him so long?”
“It doesn’t matter what he said.” Katy pushed a few dry pieces of bread around in her bowl of stew. “The Peter I know would have found a way to make it.”
“You’re being rather difficult on him, I think. You forget what kind of world you grew up in. Not all homes are like yours or his.” He paused. “Nor are all responsibilities.”
She grudgingly turned. “What kind of responsibilities?”
He hesitated, and she didn’t miss the way his eyes flicked to the ground. “His uncle is a man of high standing in the capital.”
“What does he do?”
The firin still didn’t look at her. “Peter works for his uncle. I’m not exactly sure what Peter’s particular responsibilities entail at the moment...only that they are many and large. And they affect far more people’s livelihoods than just his own.”
Katy squeezed her eyes shut. The firin was right, as usual. Assuming Peter’s guilt wasn’t fair. But it didn’t lessen the pain any, either.
“He wants me to go with him,” she said quietly. “To the capital.”
“And what did you tell him?”
She put her bowl of cold stew down and went to the little table to pick at the fresh fruit someone had left for her. “I told him I can’t.”
“Did you give him a reason?”
She shook her head, her throat growing tight. “I wanted to. But the way he looked at me...It was just too shameful.”
The firin frowned. “He knows you’re different, Katy.”
“Not like this.” She sighed and nibbled at an apple. Unfortunately, it was as tasteless as the last three foods she’d tried, but she got the feeling that wasn’t the cook’s fault. “Last night something happened.” How had that only been last night? It seemed like years since Emma passed and her world changed. “After Emma died, I went out to an empty field.”
“Stop delaying, Katy. You know by now nothing you say will surprise me.”
She gave him a wry smile. “I destroyed the field.”
“What do you mean you destroyed it?”
“I mean, when the episode was finally over, I found myself surrounded by a field of ashes.” She forced herself to look him in the eyes. “Whatever is inside me is getting stronger. Going with Peter and the other knights would only put them in danger.”
The firin nodded, his eyes distant. Finally, he took a deep breath in and blew it out of his mouth. “But he did make you a promise. And he intends to keep it.”
“He can keep it by allowing me to leave. If I can go where no one else can find me, everyone will be safer.” She shrugged. “I would hold his promise fulfilled, and no one else would be hurt.”
“No one but Peter, you mean.”
She looked at him quizzically.
He stood and went to her tray of food, where he picked up a piece of the dry bread as well. “You care for Peter, don’t you?”
She blinked at him in surprise. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be exiling myself from my best friend.”
He nodded. “If you truly care about him, you’ll also consider what losing you will do to him.” The firin’s fierce gray eyes bored into hers. “You forget that I watched that boy grow up just as I did you. And I know Peter well enough to know that if you leave him now, he will spend every day of the rest of his life questioning and blaming himself for everything on this isle that goes wrong.”
Katy stared at him, not exactly sure what to say. She wanted to say that the firin was being dramatic and that Peter would eventually get over losing her. He had survived this long, and from the way Antony and the other knights seemed to respect him, not to mention the astonishing changes that had taken place in Peter himself, he had been doing well enough on his own as it was. But she had known Peter long enough to know that everything the firin said was true. Peter did not forgive himself well. Nor did he forget.
“Give him a chance to help you.” Firin Reaghan’s voice was kinder this time. “Just a few months even. But don’t steal this from him. Not when he’s spent his whole life trying to save yours.”
“I want to!” Katy put her hands to her face and tried to stay the tears that wanted so desperately to fall. “I want nothing more than to go with him! Do you know how many years I spent dreaming that he and I...” She stopped short but the firin still raised his eyes and tilted his head. Those dreams were not any she was yet ready to divulge. “But you know what I am! Or at least, what I’m capable of. I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt him or one of his men!”
Firin Reaghan stood and went to the door. But before leaving, he paused. “I know what I was told about you. I also know what I’ve seen. And I have never seen anything in my life quite like you.” He reached his hand out and took hers. “Go to him. Atharo has given you a chance to begin again.”
She smiled faintly. “That’s what Peter said.”
“Then for once in your life, take a chance and let him be proven right.”
Katy shook her head, but glanced at the corner, where one of the knights had placed a new pair of boots for her. “Where is he?”
The firin gave her a wide smile. “Take a guess.”
11
Bargains
Katy paused at the edge of the ravine and straightened her dress. It felt odd to be wearing such nice clothes. Upon Peter’s request, or so she’d been told, the seamstr
ess’s apprentice had been sent for to bring her something suitable to wear. Katy had never had such a fitted bodice, nor had she worn such solid shoes since Sir Christopher had been alive. Not that her body had had any lines for fitting back then.
“This place used to seem much deeper,” she finally had the nerve to call out.
“Time does that.” Peter didn’t turn, just sat on the edge of the rock and stared into the little stream below.
After drawing in a shaky breath, Katy went to sit beside him. They were silent for a long time, but that was fine with her. A feeling she thought she’d lost forever settled upon her as they listened to the toads croak and the water bubble and felt the breeze as it feathered over their skin.
Finally, she dared a peek at him. And just like the first time she’d seen him that morning, her breath left her. His face was far more defined than she had ever imagined it, and the way it looked covered in the rough stubble made her stomach do a funny flop. He kept his eyes focused on the brook below, though she knew the exact shade of storm blue they would be if he ever decided to turn them to her again. But the stubborn set of his jaw was also one she knew well. One she deserved after the way she’d spoken to him that morning.
“I always knew you’d be tall.” She tried to make her voice light. “But I didn’t think you’d double my height.”
“You’re being dramatic. I’m only three heads taller than you.” He picked up a pebble, examined it, then chucked it into the water. “Outgrowing you is not a difficult thing to do.”
“I’m not that short.” She nudged his shoulder. “Not anymore, at least.”
“Not that it ever mattered. You managed to beat me at every challenge Father ever gave me.”
She smiled. “But I always knew you’d grow up big and strong. You just needed time. And look at you now.” A very foolish voice in her head wanted to giggle, but she kept that voice safely silenced. They had more important matters to discuss. He didn’t need to know how looking at him made her feel nervous in a way she’d never felt before.
Finally, he sighed and looked down at her, but he wasn’t smiling. She felt oddly self-conscious as his eyes took in her entire person. It wasn’t the lingering look of hunger the short man on the road had given her, but it was just long enough to make her wonder what he was thinking.
“No, I suppose,” he said softly. Then he gave her a sad smile. “You turned out really pretty, Katy.”
Katy felt her cheeks color and tried to suppress the silly grin that was trying to escape.
“Well,” he sniffed loudly and straightened his expression, “pretty enough for a forest runt, I suppose.”
She punched him in the arm, and he laughed. Then he grew serious again. “I really did try to get back to you. I promise.”
“I believe you.”
His eyes widened. “You do?”
Katy picked at an old dandelion on the ground beside her, its white seeds floating around and getting stuck in her hair. “I’m sorry for the way I spoke this morning. It was unkind. I just...” She shook her head. “I was embarrassed and angry and hurt and—”
“Now look.”
Before she knew it, he had reached out and taken her face gently in his hand. Its warmth sent a ripple through her.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” he said, all merriment gone from his eyes.
Was it possible for one’s heart to stop because a man looked hard enough? Katy had very little experience with either fainting or men. But as he gazed unflinchingly into her eyes, her heart thundered in a staggering, uneven rhythm.
“It was my fault it took me so long to get back,” he continued. “While I was living in the castle, you were here.” His voice cracked a little. “And even while they were chasing you, you spent years looking after an old woman who—”
“Took me in.”
“Treated you as an inconvenience. I never wanted that for you. My father never wanted that for you. I just wish I had been able to change things sooner.” To her chagrin, he let go of her face and put his elbows back on his knees, hunching forward so it was impossible to see his eyes. “I just wish I’d had the courage to barter with my uncle sooner. I wish…”
“You wish what?”
“I wish I could change things. A lot of things.”
Something, much like the warning bells that were tolled in the town square, rang in Katy’s mind. “What was it that you bargained in exchange for passage to get me?”
“That’s not your business to worry about. It was between me and my uncle,” he said, dusting his hands off and pushing himself to his feet. Then he reached down to help her up as well.
She frowned at him. “I’m not convinced. If it took you eight years to use this single bargaining piece, it must have been very important to you.” She recalled the firin’s words. Where there had first been anger and frustration for her old friend, now she only felt alarm. Peter had given up something of great importance in order to save her life. But what was it?
“It really doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. It was expected of me anyway.”
Whatever it was, she had thrown it in his face that morning with her refusal to go. And as rudely as possible at that. So she squared her shoulders and briefly closed her eyes. “I’ll go with you.”
When she opened them again, his mouth had fallen open, and for a moment, the angst had left his face. In its place was the fleeting expression of the boy she had known so well.
“You will?” He tried to take her arms, but she backed up and put her hands up instead.
“I have to warn you, though. I’m dangerous. And it’s getting worse. I could hurt one of the other knights. Or, worse, I could hurt—”
“Me?” His eyes grew gentle. “Katy, we’ve been down that road before. And what did it prove?”
“You’re not taking me seriously! Everyone here thinks I’m an olc!” She glanced at his hands. “I found one of those books your father tried to hide. It didn’t say much about olcs, but the little that it did say sounded…” her voice dropped to a whisper. “It sounded a little too familiar.”
“There’s a reason he hid those books, Katy. He wanted to prevent exactly this kind of thinking.”
“Well, whether the book was true or not, I would do far more damage now—”
“My father knew you were something more than just an olc. As do I.” He stepped forward and put his large hands around her elbows, not letting her escape this time when she tried to wiggle away. “I promised to save you from whatever evil this is that haunts you. And I’m not about to let that promise go unfulfilled.”
The sound of a twig snapping silenced whatever nonsensical gibberish she was about to mumble, followed by a great groaning that echoed across the valley. A wave of that strange sensation washed over them again, and when it was done, Katy noticed Peter shivering as well.
“What was that?” she whispered.
But Peter only pursed his lips as he searched the horizon. Then his expression tightened. “When was the last time you were near the woods? Aside from this morning.”
“Yesterday I walked along the outskirts picking berries.”
He frowned down at her, but she just shrugged. “We needed food.”
“Would you be able to show me where you were walking?”
She nodded and climbed out of the ravine then scanned the edge of the woods. But when she looked for the trail that she’d worn in the dirt that wound around a few outlying crooked trees, it was nowhere to be found. She squinted in the light of the setting sun. “It was over there.” She shaded her eyes. “But those trees are all wrong. At least, I think they are.” She tried to recall what the trees had looked like before. “I can’t make out the path anymore.”
“I think you’re right.”
“About about what?”
“The trees. They’re different.”
“What does it mean?” Katy’s heart seemed to pause before jumping back into an even faster rhythm.
He lo
oked down at her, his jaw set. “I think it means our friend, the forest spirit, is back.” His sword scraped as he pulled it from its sheath with one hand. Then he took her hand in the other. “We need to go.”
Katy should have felt frightened as they turned back toward Downing, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel anything less than elated. His hand was familiar, and yet the new callouses in his palm and on his fingers made her feel shy, as though they’d just met. Katy held it as tightly as she dared as they crossed the fields back to the road. For the first time in a long time, she felt utterly at home.
12
More Than You Know
Peter had wanted to leave that night, but the other knights convinced him to wait until the morning. Or that’s what he claimed. Katy felt it probably had more to do with the fact that she’d grown so tired she could hardly walk by the time they reached the inn after their ravine outing, and Firin Reaghan had watched her with sharp eyes the rest of the evening as they’d supped in the inn’s tavern.
Katy had hardly gone to sleep on the soft mattress, it seemed, when the innkeeper’s wife was banging on the door and calling that it was time to go.
“Mrs. Ryan sent this,” Firin Reaghan told her as he fastened a cloak around Katy’s shoulders.
Katy snuggled down into the cloak and smiled at the distantly familiar scent in the wool. “I thought she had passed!”
“She nearly did a few years ago, and she hasn’t felt well enough to sew much since the sickness. But when I told her yesterday that Peter had come back for you, she gave this to me and told me she’d been saving it.” He gave her a small smile in the light of the torch. “I told you you weren’t as alone as you believed. Without Odhran here to chase it out of them or frighten them to death, we might actually see the human side of people every now and then. And a little compassion as well. Now, I believe this one is yours.” They came to a stop beside a medium-size chestnut horse. “Do you remember how to ride?”
The Autumn Fairy Page 6