“He’s eccentric,” said Ivy.
“Exactly. That’s just what he is, but not like Sherlock Holmes. Scapulus is eccentric in a good way.”
“Sherlock was the greatest detective of all time,” said Ivy.
“How about if we work at becoming the greatest detectives of all time and find that Bible?” said Amanda. She was getting tired of discussing unpleasant things.
“That’s an excellent idea,” said Ivy. “Here’s what I think. It has to be in the pit. I wonder if there’s a way to test the water to see if it has paper residue in it.”
“Good thinking! If it doesn’t, then Blixus has to have it. And if it does, it just disintegrated.”
“We should be able to do the tests ourselves. That won’t be difficult like doing that DNA sequencing on the crystals.”
Last term when Ivy had suggested the crystals on Wink Wiffle’s skull might have absorbed his DNA, the kids had tried to extract the stuff but had given up because the procedure was too complicated. That was when Professor Stegelmeyer had stepped in and done the work for them and they’d discovered that the skeleton was David’s father. Testing water samples was child’s play by comparison.
But before the girls could figure out how to get hold of some water from the quarry, Simon and Clive came running back into the common room, and their news wasn’t good.
“They’ve found a dead body in a flat in Ulverston,” said Simon. “And Wink Wiffle’s fingerprints are all over the place.”
8
Bickering
The news that the police had found another body provided yet another distraction from Amanda’s list. Events were moving too quickly for her to keep up.
“A dead body?” she said. “Who is it? Not someone we know?” The idea of losing another member of the Legatum family was almost too much to bear. Not that any dead body was a good thing.
“It’s a criminal,” said Simon matter-of-factly.
“Blixus?” said Ivy. She sounded almost gleeful at the prospect.
“No,” said Clive. “But get this: he worked for Blixus.”
“Whoa!” said Amanda. “This is huge.” Then a nasty thought popped into her head. “Wait a minute. You don’t suppose Mr. Wiffle murdered him, do you? It was a he, right?”
“How old is the body?” said Ivy.
“Dunno yet, and yes, it was a he,” said Simon.
“Did you see it?” said Amanda.
“Me?” said Simon. “No. How could I have seen it?”
“No, of course you didn’t,” said Amanda. “I’m starting to get everything mixed up. Too many things happening at once.” Maybe she should implement a project management system. Nah, too time-consuming.
“What else do you know about it?” said Ivy.
“Guy’s name was Leon Pleth,” said Simon. “Went by the nickname Crocodile.”
“Crocodile?” said Amanda. “Whatever for? This isn’t Florida. Why do criminals always have nicknames?” She ran through half a dozen of them in her mind: Jumbo Pinchuk, Maps Glappsy, Bugsy Siegel, Sweetums Bickie, Vixen Amado, Oil Blade. She had to admit that they were kind of evocative.
“Maybe he had big teeth,” said Clive. He laughed at his own joke.
“How did he die?” said Amanda.
“Shot,” said Simon.
“Okay, so the guy worked for Blixus and was shot, and Wink Wiffle’s fingerprints were found in his flat in Ulverston,” said Amanda. “That doesn’t mean Wink killed him.”
“Uh oh,” said Simon, staring off into the distance.
“What?” said Clive. He looked at Simon expectantly.
“I’ll bet that painting is of Ulverston,” said Simon.
“Aren’t you jumping to conclusions?” said Amanda.
“Yup,” said Simon. “But I’ll bet I’m right.”
“What makes you think that?” said Ivy.
“Because I remember now,” said Simon. “I’ve seen that place before, and Ulverston is where it is.”
The next thing that happened was that David Wiffle himself stuck his head into the common room and said, “Where’s Gordon?” Normally this wouldn’t have been at all remarkable except that David was supposed to be at home in Cornwall.
“What are you doing here?” Amanda blurted out.
“Oh brother,” said Simon under his breath.
“None of your beeswax,” said David, using one of his favorite expressions, a cliché as usual. Poor David. He didn’t have a creative bone in his body. “Where’s Gordon?”
“How should we know?” said Amanda, forgetting all the terrible stuff David had been through. He pushed her buttons so easily.
“Never mind,” said David, and left. Amanda breathed a sigh of relief. David was such hard work.
“Why do you suppose he’s here?” said Ivy.
“Actually, he’s on my list,” said Amanda.
“What’s on your list?” said Simon.
“Thrillkill wants to talk to him,” said Amanda.
“Then why is he on your list?” said Clive.
“I don’t know,” said Amanda. She had wondered about that. What was she supposed to do, take notes? “Actually, it makes no sense.”
“What do you think is going to happen to him?” said Ivy.
“I have no idea,” said Amanda.
“Do you think he’ll be expelled?” said Clive.
“Not if Thrillkill wants to win that lawsuit,” said Simon. “All he needs to do is make Mrs. Wiffle even madder.”
He had a point. Thrillkill was skating on very thin ice.
“What a mess,” said Ivy. “Her husband is dead, he might have murdered a criminal who works for the Moriartys, and her son destroyed the most important thing the school owns, which he stole. I feel sorry for her.”
“So do I,” said Amanda, “but that doesn’t mean she should sue the school.” There must have been something in the Wiffle genes, or maybe the family culture. All of them were a pain in the neck. It was a good thing David was an only child. She couldn’t bear the thought of having to deal with yet another Wiffle.
“What would you do?” said Simon.
That shut them up. No one had an answer.
“I think Thrillkill will try to help David,” said Ivy after about thirty seconds. “It’s the only thing that makes sense. Yes, he destroyed the Bible, which is like committing treason. But he took it because he was trying to protect it and when he destroyed it he was temporarily insane. He’d lost his father, he’d done something that could ruin the school, and he went berserk. So he can’t really be blamed.”
“Do you think he’s fixable?” said Amanda. Wouldn’t that be something? She’d heard of people who’d been train wrecks as children becoming amazing adults. How they’d pulled off such metamorphoses she had no idea.
“I don’t,” said Simon.
“Simon!” said Ivy. “That’s mean.”
“Just being realistic.” Boy, he could be a downer. Not that he was often wrong.
“Clive, what do you think?” said Ivy.
“I think if we’re nicer to him he might have a chance.”
“Be nice to David Wiffle?” said Amanda. That was too hard. Wouldn’t it be better to send him to a therapist or something?
“Sure, why not?” said Clive. “What can it hurt?”
“It can’t hurt anything,” said Simon, “but it can’t help either. He’s too far gone.”
A smile spread across Clive’s face. “Care to test your theory?”
“Go on.”
“Cut it out, you two,” said Ivy. “You don’t turn someone’s misery into a game.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said Simon. “You’ve turned Amphora’s unhappiness into a profit center.”
Ivy lifted up her sunglasses and did that withering look thing.
“Simon,” she said, “you have a lot to learn. People have feelings. It’s nice to consider them. Amphora’s right. You probably are a bad kisser.”
“Hey,” said Amanda.
“How did you know about that?”
“How do I know about anything?” said Ivy. “I hear things.”
She got up, gave Nigel’s lead a little yank, and walked out the door, leaving the three friends to their own thoughts. She must have been really mad at Simon to do that. Amanda couldn’t recall another time when she’d actually stormed out of a room. Not that she was exactly storming. More like drizzling.
“We have to figure out what Wink Wiffle was doing in Crocodile Pleth’s flat,” said Amanda.
“I am too a good kisser,” said Simon. “Wanna see?”
“Absolutely not,” said Amanda. “You can kiss Clive.”
“Not me,” said Clive, wrinkling up his face.
“Come here, Amanda,” said Simon. He patted the seat next to him.
“Nope,” she said. “I’m not going to kiss you. Anyway, we need to figure this out.”
Simon got up, moved next to Amanda, put his arms around her, and puckered up.
“Get away from me!” she said, pushing him back.
“You don’t know what you’re missing,” said Simon calmly, leaning away again. She was glad he’d backed off. This kind of behavior from Simon of all people made her nervous.
“Hey, cool rainbow,” said Clive, pointing out the window.
“What?” said Amanda. She didn’t want to look, but she couldn’t help noticing the colors out of the corner of her eye. “Who cares? We have to figure out what happened to the Bible. I mean Crocodile. I mean both.”
Just then her phone rang. It was Darius Plover. She’d forgotten all about him.
“Hello, Mr. Plover,” she said tentatively.
“Amanda!” said Darius, all smiles in his voice. “Ready to get started?”
Amanda looked at the two boys, who were listening eagerly. They didn’t know about Darius Plover or Amanda’s summer gig with him. Nick had known she was corresponding with him, but that was all.
“Uh, yes, absolutely” she said, watching Simon mouth the words, “Is that Darius Plover?”
“Excellent,” said Darius. “I’m sending you a link and a project plan. Can you get back to me later today? Oh, wait a minute. The time difference. How about early tomorrow? That will be my wee hours of the morning. I’ll be up.”
“Yes, I will,” she said. “First thing tomorrow.”
“Super,” he said. “Talk to you then.”
Amanda could feel the two boys’ eyes boring into her. “Tell me you weren’t just talking to Darius Plover,” said Simon.
“Okay,” said Amanda. “I wasn’t just talking to Darius Plover.”
“You were,” said Simon indignantly. “How could you not tell us?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said Amanda. “Maybe a little thing called privacy!”
“You have a personal relationship with the world’s coolest action film director and you didn’t tell us?” He actually looked hurt. She couldn’t remember another time when that had happened.
“It isn’t your business,” said Amanda.
“You don’t want to be a detective after all,” said Simon.
“Why?” said Amanda. “Because I’m working with Darius Plover?”
“You’re working with him?” said Clive.
“I am,” said Amanda. “I’m a consultant.” Suddenly it dawned on her that neither Simon nor Clive thought she was making the whole thing up. She had to give them credit. Most people would have thought she was faking.
“You’re leaving us,” said Simon. He seemed genuinely concerned.
“I am not!” yelled Amanda.
“I would,” said Simon.
“Me too,” said Clive.
“What is wrong with you two?” said Amanda. “The world is ending and you would run off and make movies instead of trying to fix it?”
“Have to think about that,” said Simon.
She couldn’t believe he’d say a thing like that. He’d been beside himself when Thrillkill had questioned his lineage and he’d thought he might have to leave Legatum. “You’re nuts.”
“Ha ha!” said Simon in a rare moment of levity. “Gotcha.”
So that was what he was up to. Amanda gave Simon the dirtiest look she could muster. “You . . . don’t . . . deserve . . . me,” she said, and made herself the fourth person to stomp out of the common room in less than an hour.
9
Simon Binkle, Ladies’ Man
Great. They hadn’t been there a day and already everyone was fighting. Maybe they should all turn around and go home. Maybe Amanda should get on that plane, fly to L.A., and work with Darius Plover in person after all. Who needed all this trouble?
She thought about going to her room but feared that Ivy or Amphora would be there, and she didn’t want to see them. She couldn’t go back to the common room after she’d just made a dramatic exit. She needed to find a quiet place to regroup. The Disguise classroom on the top floor!
But getting there wasn’t so easy. The construction workers had blocked so much of the school that the place had become an obstacle course. Furthermore it was incredibly dusty. It might not have been the worst idea to grab a few brooms and engage in a little sportsmanlike cleanup, as the kids had done when they’d invented the game of bumper brooms right after the earthquake. That had been fun, if you forgot about the terror and the danger. This was different, though. Amanda felt that the workers had invaded her space, and she didn’t want to spend more time around them than she had to.
Suddenly she heard Simon’s voice behind her. She didn’t want to talk to him and she certainly didn’t want to kiss him, so she ducked into a supply closet.
“How bad is it?” he was saying to a construction worker.
“This part?” said the guy. “Not too bad. But those classrooms down there, not so good.”
Amanda had no idea where “down there” was, but she resolved to avoid it.
“But this could have been prevented, right?” said Simon.
“Oh yeah,” said the guy. “The codes around here aren’t strict enough.”
“I’ll bet you could design the school to withstand an 8.0 quake,” said Simon. “All you’d need to do is build it on rollers.”
“Sure,” said the guy. “When you’re starting from scratch.”
“Not now?” said Simon.
“Nah,” said the guy. “Not practical.”
“But it could be done in theory, right?” said Simon.
“Sure,” said the guy. “In theory you could build the whole country on rollers.” He laughed.
“Hey,” said Clive, who was obviously with him. “He was just asking.”
“Look, kids,” said the guy, “I’ve got work to do. Why don’t you app boys run along and find something else to do?”
That remark made Amanda mad. Simon and Clive might be technically inclined, but they weren’t “app boys.” They were serious engineers. She burst out of the closet and said, “Shut up, bozo,” then grabbed the two boys and pulled them down the hall, leaving the construction worker rolled over laughing.
“I thought you were mad at me,” said Simon.
“I was,” said Amanda. “Now I’m not, okay?”
“Don’t toy with our hearts,” said Clive.
Amanda stopped pulling and faced the two boys. “Now you look here, funnymen,” she said. “There’s some serious stuff going down here. Are you comedians or are you detectives?”
“Can’t we be both?” said Clive, mock pleading.
“Only when the things on this list have been taken care of,” said Amanda. “Now let’s figure out this Wink Wiffle thing. Or the Bible thing. Or where Blixus is. Or something.”
“All right,” said Simon. “Let’s figure out where that view in the painting is.”
They decided that the best place to work on the problem was the lab. Not that there were any chemicals or machinery involved. It was just that the labs were quiet during the summer and they weren’t likely to be disturbed.
On the way, Simon said, “I’v
e been watching Scapulus like I told you I would. I saw something come out of Professor Redleaf’s computer.”
“He didn’t know you saw, did he?” said Amanda. “What was it?”
“Nope,” said Simon. “When that guy gets involved in something, he’s dead to the world. I’m surprised he felt the earthquake.”
That he had. Right after the quake he’d sent Amanda several texts to ask if she was okay. They’d come so fast it seemed as if he’d merely thought them. They’d annoyed her at the time. What she wouldn’t give for that kind of attention from him now.
“You’re going to think I’m crazy,” said Simon.
“No, I won’t,” said Amanda. If he was crazy so was she. “I saw that bubble myself.”
“All right, then,” said Simon. “I saw what looked like a gold coin. I kid you not.”
That was definitely crazier than a bubble. Although if the light had hit the screen in just the right way . . .
“A real one?” said Clive eagerly.
“No,” said Simon. “I don’t think so. It looked 3D and all, but it absorbed back into the screen again.”
“Just like the bubble,” said Amanda.
“Just like the bubble.”
“Wow,” said Clive. “That’s a mean trick. Are you sure it wasn’t a hologram or something?”
“I suppose it’s a possibility,” said Simon.
“Well, it wasn’t a hologram when that bubble shot out of the screen,” said Amanda. “And it wasn’t a 3D effect like when you wear those red and green glasses.”
“How do you know?” said Clive.
“I was close to it,” said Amanda. “It was absolutely real.”
“You didn’t touch it, did you?” said Clive.
“No. Why?” What did he mean? He couldn’t really believe the bubble would bite her or something.
“Because holograms can look real,” he said. “That’s a much more likely explanation than the hacker being able to manipulate matter.”
That made sense. Still, it would be a good idea to confirm Clive’s theory. “Scapulus will know,” she said.
Amanda Lester, Detective Box Set Page 80