“I know, dear,” said the teacher. “I know.”
35
Now You Tell Me
After the Punitori had left Legatum, Amanda concluded that much of what had occurred was her fault. She’d been completely wrapped up in herself, obsessing over Nick, worrying about Holmes, wringing her hands over her parents’ foibles. It was time to look outward again. She had responsibilities to other people. No more indulging in her own problems, desires, and fears, and definitely no more boyfriends. Love just caused trouble.
Obviously the most important task now was to find her missing friends and relatives. She was pretty sure they were all nearby, somewhere in the Penrith area. A trip back there was in order. She, Ivy, Simon, and Fern would have to go. Perhaps Eustace could join them. She preferred not to invite Amphora, but she wasn’t sure she could get away with that. Her roommate would want to save her boyfriend, after all, and also Editta. How she felt about Clive, Amanda didn’t know. She was sure Amphora had no interest in Despina and Hillary Lester and Jeffrey Lestrade, but who cared?
Soon after the exodus Thrillkill delivered news: the Penrith police had found Blixus Moriarty’s fingerprints in the farmer’s house. While that didn’t prove he had killed the treasure hunter, it did show that he’d been there. They’d also ascertained that Blixus had been the one to kill Crocodile. That information strengthened their conclusion that Blixus did know about the King Arthur coins and had come after them. If there were more, they were probably in his possession.
With this new information in hand, Amanda, Ivy, and Simon decided to flesh out their timeline. Because so much had occurred in the last few days, they wanted to make sure they had everything straight in their minds. Amanda wrote everything out. First, the older stuff:
Wink is murdered.
The Detective’s Bible disappears, although no one knows about it until later.
The pink sugar conspiracy is uncovered and the factory in London is destroyed.
The Moriartys go to jail.
All of those things had happened during spring term. She could never get used to the fact that spring term ran from January to April. That seemed more like winter to her. Anyway, these events were still causing ripples.
Then, during summer term (which should really be spring term):
Professor Redleaf discovers the hacker.
The crystals are found.
Wink’s body is discovered.
The Moriartys escape from Strangeways.
David finds the Bible.
David’s roommates run away with the Bible.
Nick shows up alive.
Legatum fights the Moriartys and the roommates at the quarry.
David destroys the Bible.
Editta runs off with the Moriartys.
Philip and Gavin disappear.
The teachers split into factions.
Wow. A lot of important things had happened during April, May, and June. No wonder her task list was so long.
Then, during the summer:
Crocodile is murdered. He might have been murdered during spring term though.
The farmer is murdered.
Harry is seen with a mysterious blonde girl.
Zombies are seen in the area.
Professor Redleaf’s computer screen does weird things.
Rainbows start appearing around Legatum.
Despina, Hill, and Jeffrey disappear.
The tunnels are found.
The leprechaun coins are found.
Ivy is stung. Gordon saves her.
The lockbox and Mavis’s letters are found.
The King Arthur coin is found.
David runs away.
The secrets trove is breached.
The purple rainbow riot occurs at the zoo.
Clive is kidnapped.
Holmes blocks the hacker, but not for long
Holmes is injured, then disappears.
The decoy vault is breached. Nick’s fingerprints are found.
The Punitori leave Legatum.
“And that’s just the highlights,” she said. “Or should I say lowlights?”
“Can you read it out to me again?” said Ivy.
“Sure,” said Amanda, and did as Ivy asked.
“I wonder if we can hone the list,” said Ivy tapping her fingers on her knee. “I don’t think the part about my being stung is significant.”
“Of course it is,” said Amanda. “It was very serious.”
“I know,” said Ivy, “but it isn’t germane. Why don’t we ignore it?”
She had a point. Ivy’s rescue was hugely important but it had nothing to do with any mysteries. The incident had merely been a case of collateral damage.
“For now,” said Amanda, eliminating the item from the timeline. “Don’t forget that your crisis was also Gordon’s coming out party.”
“Of course not,” said Ivy. “Who would have thought? Maybe we should get him here now.”
Amanda punched a text into her phone. “Done.”
“Did you ever think we’d want Gordon around?” said Ivy.
“I still don’t want him around,” said Simon.
“Simon!” said both girls, laughing.
“Naw, he’s all right I guess,” said Simon. “He did save you.” He said it as if it were no big deal. Amanda wasn’t sure if he was baiting them or just being Simon.
“Simon!” she said again.
“Just joking,” he said. “Ivy’s indispensable.”
“You just like me for my dog,” said Ivy, grinning.
“I sure do,” said Simon, grabbing a fistful of dog. Nigel turned around and licked his hand.
“But getting back to the timeline,” said Ivy, “I have to say that I don’t think the zombies are relevant.”
“You don’t think they’re Blixus’s henchmen?” said Amanda.
“No,” said Ivy. “They don’t figure into anything that’s actually happened. I think they’re a distraction.”
Amanda wasn’t sure she agreed but she was willing to entertain the idea. If Ivy was right, Despina et al’s disappearance might be chalked up to nothing more than adventure.
“All right,” she said. “We’ll ignore them too. But then how did Blixus do all this without help?”
“Oh, he had help,” said Ivy. She hesitated.
“You can say it,” said Amanda. “I’ve heard it all before.”
“Very well then,” said Ivy. “I’m sure Nick helped him with some of this. Mavis too. And who knows how Editta might have participated. If she’s gaga over Nick, she’d probably do anything to please him and his parents.”
“Sadly I think you’re right,” said Simon, still petting Nigel. The dog was loving it. He turned over on his back so Simon could stroke his chest.
“What about this blonde girl, though?” said Ivy.
“I have no idea who she is,” said Amanda. She’d racked her brain and had come up with nothing. It seemed that no one else could figure her out either.
“You don’t think Harry is working for them too?” said Ivy.
“I wouldn’t put it past him,” said Simon.
“Why, just because he’s a Lothario?” said Amanda. The older boy was frivolous but that didn’t make him a criminal. Although there was something evil about the way he kept winking at her. He really enjoyed making her uncomfortable.
“Now there’s a five-pound word,” said Simon.
“Okay, fine. Casanova, Romeo, stud. Better?”
“Aren’t we literary?” said Simon.
“I’m going to fine you,” said Ivy.
“I don’t play this game with Amanda,” said Simon. “Only Amphora.”
“Says you,” said Ivy, giggling.
“Who’s a Lothario?” said Gordon, responding in person to Amanda’s invitation. He sat down next to Amanda and looked at her list.
“Harry Sheriff,” said Amanda.
“That guy?” said Gordon with obvious distaste. “Don’t get me started.”
&nbs
p; “What do you mean?” said Amanda.
“He sure gets around,” said Gordon.
“Like what?” said Amanda. Gordon hesitated. He seemed to want to backpedal. Amanda gave him a look. “Well?”
“One day I heard him in the tunnels with a girl.”
“What do you mean ‘a girl’?” said Amanda. Harry being with a girl was hardly anything new.
“I didn’t see her, but I could hear them,” said Gordon. “She was all like ‘oooh’ and ‘aaah.’”
“You mean they were making out?” said Ivy.
“That too, but no, I think he was trying to impress her by giving her a tour or something.”
Amanda and Simon sat up. Ivy froze. “GORDON!” said the girls together.
“You heard this and you didn’t report it?” said Ivy.
“I thought it was one of the students,” said Gordon. “They’re allowed to be there. Oh no—you don’t think it was that blonde girl?”
“YES!” said Amanda. “It had to be her. Don’t you see what this means? She was seen in Penrith breaking into the decoy vault with Nick. She’s working for Blixus and she’s been hanging around with Harry. She’s probably using him to get our secrets. We have to go to Thrillkill right now.”
“You mean—” said Gordon.
“Yes,” said Amanda. “We mean just what you think we mean.”
“Yikes, I’m sorry,” he said. “I had no idea. Then I suppose he was doing something bad that other time I saw him in the tunnels too.”
“What other time?” said Amanda. She was getting unbelievably antsy. She wished Gordon would be more forthcoming. He was a terrible communicator.
“The day you and Simon went to the factory to look for the crystals. You know when you took that boat—”
“You were there that day? Aaaaaaaagh!” screamed Amanda. This was not good news. If he meant what she thought he meant— “No wonder he’s been grinning at me. He saw me naked! Wait a minute. You didn’t see me, did you, Gordon?”
“I wish,” he said a bit absently. “I was too far back.”
“Oh, right,” said Ivy. “The time Simon came back for your clothes.”
“I took the wet ones off,” said Amanda. “After jumping in the lake. OMG, I’m so mortified.”
“You shouldn’t be,” said Simon. “You have a nice body.”
“Simon Binkle, you didn’t peek?” yelled Amanda.
“‘Course not,” said Simon. “But I’ve got eyes, haven’t I?”
Amanda screamed and kicked her feet and carried on for a full minute until at last she realized there were more important things to attend to.
“Come on, let’s go,” she said, then muttered, “Harry Sheriff indeed.” She grabbed Ivy and raced out of the room wishing that for his next trick Simon would come up with a memory eraser.
36
Back to the Tunnels
The weather had turned cold. Rain was coming down in buckets, the first time that had happened since the end of last term. In Thrillkill’s office, water was streaming down the windows and it was impossible to see outside. The four kids sat around the headmaster’s desk hoping he wouldn’t explode.
“You realize you should have come to me at once, Mr. Bramble,” said Thrillkill in a strained voice.
“I know, sir,” said Gordon. “I’m ever so sorry. You can expel me if you want.”
“I’m sure you are,” said Thrillkill. “However before you bite your fingernails off, I’m not going to punish you. We are beyond that now.”
“Yes, sir,” said Gordon. “Thank you, sir.”
“However, I’m not finished with you,” said Thrillkill.
“No, sir,” said Gordon. “Of course not.”
“We are going to find Blixus Moriarty today,” said Thrillkill.
“Yes, sir,” said Gordon.
“For heaven’s sake,” said Thrillkill, “stop saying ‘Yes, sir.’” Gordon clamped his lips together to stop himself from speaking. “Now, we are going to Penrith and we are going into those tunnels. We will bring Mr. Sheriff with us, since he seems to know more about what’s been going on than we do.”
“Excuse me, sir,” said Gordon, “but do you think that’s a good idea?”
Amanda couldn’t believe this was the same Gordon who had recently been so unsure of himself that he needed to hide behind David Wiffle. Creating those glitter explosions in Professor Pole’s class had transformed him completely—perhaps too completely. Now he seemed overconfident.
“I do,” said Thrillkill, doing that peering over his glasses thing. “If it turns out that Mr. Sheriff has been in cahoots with the Moriartys he will be arrested. If he has been an unsuspecting accomplice he will be expelled. He’s old enough to know better. However there will be an investigation. No steps will be taken without proof.”
Gordon opened his mouth, seemed to think better of whatever he was going to say, and shut it again.
“I very much suspect that the Moriartys and our missing students are ensconced somewhere in those tunnels,” said Thrillkill. “Possibly your relatives too, Amanda.”
“Sir,” said Simon. “Why do you suppose Inspector Lestrade didn’t call for backup?”
“I have no idea,” said Thrillkill. “We don’t even know that he’s with Blixus, although where else would he be?”
“You don’t think anyone is dead, sir?” said Gordon.
“How should I know?” thundered Thrillkill. “I don’t even know my own name right now. What with lawsuits, kidnappings, runaways, rainbow monsters, defecting teachers, and whatnot, I am slightly too busy to speculate at the moment. Now, grab your gear and meet me at my car in ten minutes. I will notify your sister, Miss Halpin, and get her to drive a second car. Unfortunately, there isn’t room for six people and a dog in my Citroen. I don’t care how wet it is out there, you be there. Got that?”
Each of the kids nodded.
“Good. Now off you go.”
Thrillkill was a demon on wheels. The car careened over narrow roads and around corners, throwing up so much mud that the hedges on either side looked like cliffs. Amanda felt as though she were sitting in an electric blender, she was bouncing around so much. Fortunately she had brought her usual supply of gingersnaps and managed to pop one or two into her mouth on the way.
In his usual fashion Harry tried to wriggle out of everything, failing to assume any responsibility whatsoever. He played completely dumb, acting as if he had no idea who the blonde girl was or what was going on. His act bordered on insolence, which made Amanda so mad that she lost control and screamed at him.
“You think you’re so great just because you have this Brad Pitt thing going on,” she yelled. “Get a clue. There’s a lot more to life than looking pretty. And yeah, I know you saw me naked. So what? You want to see more?”
She reached down to the ribbing of her sweater and started to lift it up, but Simon, who was sitting in the back between her and Harry, stopped her. “Don’t give him the satisfaction,” he said.
“I don’t care. I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”
“It’s actually quite a nice body,” said Harry.
“Shut up!” yelled Amanda.
“Be quiet, you two,” said Thrillkill. “Mr. Sheriff, your behavior is disgraceful. I see that Legatum has completely failed you. It’s quite a shame, too, because you seemed to have so much potential when you entered. I suppose it’s our fault. Nevertheless, pending our investigation, you will not be returning.”
“Who cares?” said Harry. “There won’t be a Legatum anyway.”
“There will,” said Thrillkill.
“What, you and old Tumble?” said Harry. “Making dresses together?”
Now he’d stepped in it. Amanda couldn’t believe he’d talk to the headmaster that way.
“Shut up, Harry,” said Ivy, who was sharing the tiny front seat with Nigel. “You’re such a stereotype.”
“Speaking of stereotypes, who’s your girlfriend?” said Amanda.
&
nbsp; “How’s that criminal boyfriend of yours?” Harry said.
This dig made Amanda so mad that she lunged at him and tried to grab him around the neck. Harry was much stronger, though, and blocked her easily. Then he started laughing. And that made Simon mad.
“Nigel, sic!” he yelled to the dog.
“Simon, no!” screamed Ivy.
She grabbed Nigel but he was too strong for her. The retriever went for Harry’s leg and dug his teeth into it. Harry yelped and tried to pull Nigel off, to no effect. Then he raised his hand as if to hit the dog, and Simon punched him in the face. Harry was so stunned that he pulled back and buried his nose in his hands. Amanda wondered how the handsome Harry Sheriff would look with a purple clown nose.
Thrillkill stopped the car. “That’s it,” he said. “I don’t care what or who you know. You’re finished, Mr. Sheriff. Mr. Binkle, take these cuffs—” he reached into the glove box and removed a pair of handcuffs—“and secure his hands behind his back. Miss Lester, please phone Professor Kindseth and get him to collect Mr. Sheriff. We’ll wait until he arrives.”
“Nigel, come,” said Ivy. The dog bounced back into the front seat and laid his head on Ivy’s lap.
“You’re a loser,” said Simon, pulling Harry’s hands behind his back. The older boy struggled, but Simon motioned toward Nigel with his chin. “Don’t even think it.”
“You’re a geek,” said Harry.
“Why thank you,” said Simon.
“I hate dogs,” said Harry.
“Figures,” said Amanda.
Soon Professor Kindseth showed up in his white sedan. The rain was still coming down hard and the road had turned to slime. When the teacher got out of his car, mud splattered all over his trousers and soaked his shoes. Amanda had thought he was too nice to play bad cop, but he seemed to have no compunction about shoving Harry into his car, making sure he got plenty of goo all over him first. Simon was obviously surprised as well because he gave Amanda a look that said, “What the—” The weirdest thing about the incident was that Harry didn’t even fight. He just went silent and let the photography teacher take him back to Legatum, where who knew what would happen to him.
Amanda Lester, Detective Box Set Page 100