He was a playboy, Amanda. My mind kept on yelling at me.
Of course, I knew about his reputation but it was just dinner, what was wrong with it?
The moment we stepped inside the restaurant, it was like there was a routine for everyone that belonged to the high society, every head turned towards our direction. Everyone’s eyes were on me. Weighing me with disgusted looks and hatred, even though I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t even know these people for them to stares at me like they did know me. That was why my habit of feeling self-conscious about myself crept all over my body like syndrome.
“Hey, don’t mind them.” Trey said to my ear. “Here, if this will make you more comfortable.” Then he removed his coat and draped it around my shoulders.
I remembered Damon the moment Trey draped his coat around me. This was what Damon did when I kind of felt the same.
When we finally sat at our table, Trey did all the ordering and I just tapped my fingers on the table.
When the waiter left, Trey turned his attention towards me. “So, are you a hooker or something like that?” He asked straight to the point. He did not bother to filter his words, but it was okay with me.
“I am a hooker or something like that.” I replied without batting a lash.
“I see.” He nodded thoughtfully for a moment before widening his eyes. “It’s you turn. Guess who I am and what I do.”
I arched a brow at him. Are we playing a guessing game here?
I tried to pretend that I was thinking and was trying hard to guess who he was. “I have no idea.” I widened my eyes innocently for added effect.
Of course, I knew who he was.
He was all over the gossip sites, publications and word of the mouth. Trey Lockhart was a twenty-three year old actor. He dated the hottest in Hollywood, from starlets down to socialites. In addition, who would not remember those Calvin Klein ads if he was just wearing boxer briefs?
“Come on, just give it a try.” He urged. He was really being playful now, I have no idea he was this kind of person. Was this how he charmed off his women?
“Okay. By the way you look, you’re a model, right?” I said as I cocked my head to the left.
“Well, at some occasion, I did model some but that’s not my career. I am an actor.” He said as he tilted his head from side to side. “Know the Hunters movie series? I am the lead there and it has three installments.”
“Oh, now I remembered.” I replied, trying to play his game. “Wow. I have no idea I was having dinner with a movie star.”
“Yeah, well you are.” He winked. “You should be proud.”
And with that I couldn’t help but laugh at him, he has way too much self-confidence in himself.
He blinked as if he was not used to being laugh at, so I tried to stop from laughing and to just stared at him. But the laugh inside of me was bubbling like a bird who wanted to fly out of the cage, so I pressed my lips tightly together to suppress it.
“Well, I kind of know who you are.” I confessed.
“You do? Then why―” He started but stopped in midsentence. “So you’re just playing me earlier. You are mean.” He said as if he was hurt.
That made the laugh inside of me escaped. It was so good to laugh, especially if you were burned out with a lot of emotions recently. I laughed and he joined me. We were laughing so hard that every head turned to watch us. But I didn’t care, we didn’t care, we just continued to laugh.
~***~
“So when will I see you again?” Trey asked me when he pulled his Lexus in front of my apartment.
“That depends. If we cross paths again, you will see me, if not, then you won’t.” I replied as I unbuckled my seat belt.
“Trust me, I have a feeling that we will meet again.” He said.
He was too confident, wasn’t he?
“Until that time comes then.” I held out my hand and he shook it.
I got out of his car and waved goodbye as he drove away. I walked to the doorstep and inserted the key in the keyhole, wiggling it a little until the door clicked indicating it was unlocked. However, before I could turn the knob, strong firm hands hugged me from behind.
I knew the scent all too well, knew whose hand it belonged.
He buried his face on my hair as I felt his arm tightened around me. He inhaled my hair and I felt the butterflies in my stomach rumbled. I wanted to lean into his body, mold into his chest, but I forbid myself from doing so. I needed to get a hold of my ground. I needed to be strong and stopped from craving this man. He has dug into me body and soul way too deep I have no idea how to get out of it anymore.
“Amanda.” He said my name like a prayer. His voice sounded something like a mixture of pain, sadness and longing.
How I wanted to ease it out of him. But I knew I couldn’t, knew that I shouldn’t.
“Why? Did I do something that you did not like? Tell me.” He said against my hair. His voice was so beautiful in my ears and I wanted to listen to it over and over and over again.
“I can’t do this Damon.” I murmured.
I did not know what to tell him. I was lost, could not find the words to say when it came to him.
“We can’t do this.” I repeated.
“Why? Tell me the reason why Amanda.” He pleaded.
My heart squeezed inside my chest. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hug him back. I wanted to erase the pain in his voice. I wanted to say everything is possible.
But we, we were impossible.
I turned around and faced him. I tried avoiding his eyes, but he gripped my chin and made me looked into those blue eyes of his. I stared at him for a long time, hoping to find the courage to speak.
“I love you. It’s true. Don’t you believe my words?” He told me. His eyes were glassy and lighter than they normally were. Then he pressed his forehead against mine and I felt the warmth of his breath touching my skin. I could smell wine in his breath. Was he drunk?
“Did you drink?” I asked.
“It was just half a bottle of Jack Daniels.”
“And you drive.” I pulled away to give him a hard look as I scolded him.
“Why did you leave me?” He asked.
I could not help but roll my eyes at him. “Damon, you’re drunk. I’ll call your driver, give me his number.” I held out my hands in front of him, between us.
“Amanda, please answer me, why did you left? Don’t you like me?” He grabbed my shoulders as he stared into my eyes.
But I did my best to avoid being segued by their blue depths. “Give me your phone.” I continued holding out my hand in front of him.
“Amanda.” He made it sound like a plea as if his life depended on it.
“Phone.” I said sternly and he handed it to me, finally.
“You cannot drive when you are drunk, don’t you know that? What if something happen to you?” I scolded him as I scanned his driver’s number on his phone. I immediately pressed the call button and waited for him to answer, he answered right away on the first ring. I told him about Damon’s situation and asked him to pick him up. I gave him my address and hung up after confirming he would be here.
I handed him back his phone. “Here. Your driver will come and fetch you any minute. Why don’t you come inside while waiting?” I offered. I couldn’t just leave him along outside the apartment, besides Aiden was not here.
“You still don’t answer me.” He said as we entered inside the house.
I closed the door gently behind me and Damon stood in the middle of the living room. “Can’t you see our situation here? Look at my apartment.” I waved to emphasize my point. “It is just the size of your bathroom.”
“Why does the comparison of your apartment with my bathroom ever been an issue?” He asked.
“Damon, you are rich and I have nothing. You are high up there and I am down here.” I pointed out. “We can’t happen.”
He suddenly looked angry, with me, I guess, I was not sure. “Who said we can’t happen
? We can if we just fight for it. I know you have feelings for me and I have for you too. Why not just let it rule and save us from the heartache?” He said in a hard angry tone that I have not heard from him before.
“Love alone cannot save this.”
“Are you thinking about what other people would say?”
I blinked and shrugged. “Maybe.” I murmured.
“Damn it Amanda. When will you stop minding about them? I don’t care about what they say, you shouldn’t too.” He said, his voice raising a few octaves higher than he used to as he raked both his hands through his dark locks.
I wanted to run my hands through his hair too.
“It’s not that easy.” I said way too pitchy that I didn’t recognize it was my voice.
“I know. And I’ll be here, to make it somehow easy.” He assured me. He moved forward and took me by surprise when he enveloped me in an embrace that somehow made me felt how he wanted this thing between us to happen.
I wanted it too.
If only it was that easy, but it wasn’t.
Life was not fair, it never would be.
I closed my eyes to stop the tears from falling, I could not cry, not now, not when I was in front of him.
Suddenly, a honk came from the outside interrupting the moment. Thank God for the drivers, he was just in time. He honked twice indicating he had just arrived, so I moved away from Damon and opened the door.
I tried my best to avoid his eyes. I could feel the sadness in every movement he made as he moved past me when he walked out of the apartment. I wanted to stop him, to grab his hand and pull him to me. I wanted to embrace and be embrace, feel his arms around me. But I stopped myself, stopped from the fantasy running in my head.
When he was out and on his way towards his car, I shut the door gently behind me and listened as the car roared into life. I heard the noise coming from its engine slowly fading away, until it was gone. And I knew he was gone too.
I slid down the floor, and this time I let them fall. I let the tears fell down my eyes, then to my cheeks and into wherever they wanted to fall. I cried and whimpered alone.
I would forever be alone.
I would never love anybody else, if it was not Damon Rhodes.
Eleven
“It’s already three in the morning.” Aiden said as I walked inside the apartment.
I just got off from my night work and I was exhausted. I wanted peace and quiet for a while. But with my brother here, I guess, that was impossible.
“What are you wearing?” Aiden asked suspiciously.
I glanced down at what I was wearing, and yep, it looked suspicious. I was wearing a micro mini skirt, knee high stockings, black pumps and very tight blouse. It was slutty enough for my twin to be suspicious, but I didn’t care. Actually, I didn’t care about the rest of the world now.
Damon’s not with me.
We couldn’t be together.
What’s to care about?
I shrugged nonchalantly as if what I was wearing was a normal attire for a very normal girl. I was so not in the mood to defend myself. I walked passed by him, towards my room, and gently closed the door. I cleaned up myself and got ready for bed. Thank God, Aiden did not bother raining his trademark hundred questions on me.
I lay on the bed facing the ceiling and looked at the white paint above me, and blue eyes suddenly appeared on my view. Blue eyes that I missed so much, hair that I wanted to run my fingers through, lips that I wanted to kiss, I was imagining the face of the man that I love on the ceiling.
How pathetic!
I turned to my side and tried my best to sleep, but sleep wouldn’t come to me. Even sleep was not on my side.
What a cruel world it was!
I tried to close my eyes, but every time I did Damon’s face registered in my head, so I decided to left them open and stared out on the corner of my bedroom. But I couldn’t forget him, and before I knew it, the tears were rolling down my cheeks. I wanted to be with him so much, just like what he was imposing to me, but it was just so impossible, in so many ways.
~***~
I woke up due to the constant tapping on my shoulder. I swatted it like a fly, I still wanted to sleep, but the tapping continued to the point that I wanted to grab the bugger’s hand and cut it off.
“Go away.” I swatted my hand at the tapper.
“Get up sleepy head.” A familiar voice boomed into my ears.
“No.” I protested. Why wouldn’t he stop from bugging me? I needed my sleep. I just got it because I had trouble sleeping last night.
“Twin, you need to get out of your bed too.” Aiden said.
Ugh! Sometimes, having a twin brother was a pain in the ass especially if you wanted to sulk all day.
“Twin, there’s a delivery for you.” Aiden told me.
Who the hell sent me a delivery? I didn’t need it for goodness sake. I didn’t care a thing about it.
I buried my face deeper into the pillow and pulled the covers over my head. And here he was, my very persistent pain the butt twin brother pulling it away from me, exposing me to him and to the rest of the sunshine splaying all over my room. He had drawn the curtains open and the light was blinding me. Why couldn’t he mind his own business and leave mine to me?
“Are you getting out of your bed, or do I have to drag you out there?” He threatened.
I got my head up from the pillow and narrowed my eyes at him. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh.” He smirked smugly at me. “Trust me twin, I would dare.”
I chose to ignore the threat he was imposing at me and buried my face again on the softness of my pillow. I couldn’t hear a thing he was murmuring because the pillow is somehow blocking the low sounds. To my surprise, I was suddenly upside down, over Aiden’s shoulder as he carried me like a sack of rice. My twin’s tight butt was on my face. I wanted to puke because of the uncomfortable feeling with the positions I was in.
“Aiden put me down.” I growled like an angry tiger at him.
“We’re almost there.” He smacked my butt and I smacked him right back. He plopped me down the couch and stood in front of me.
I continued on scowling at him. What the hell?
“You’re being so stubborn, Amanda.” He said as he narrowed his eyes at me.
I gave him a coy smile. “You’re being an ass, Aiden.”
He shrugged. “I don’t care.”
He walked away and returned after a few seconds with the bouquet of roses. He handed them to me. “Here.”
“What’s this?” I raised my eyebrow at him.
“They were delivered this morning. Don’t worry I didn’t read the note.” He assured me. “I have to go, my shift is in an hour. And when I come home, we are going to have dinner together and talk.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “I mean it. You are going to talk.”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as he walked out of the door and left me alone to myself. I stared at the flowers and remembered when Damon used to bring me flowers.
How I missed him so much.
I took the card tucked in the bouquet and opened the envelope. Inside was a neat cream-colored card that has a hand written note in it. The handwriting was lovely and the stroke was clean, not likely a man’s handwriting. I read it and my spine has gone cold.
I will not give up because I know we are possible. I will fight for it. I will do everything I can to have you in my arms, Amanda. I love you. –Damon
I blinked, unbelieving the fact that he wrote me a note. It was in his handwriting for goodness sake! Billionaire Damon Rhodes bothered to write and sent me a note! Could you believe it?
I didn’t know what to think of this, of him, of us. I didn’t know what to do. Should I call him? Should I tell him I love him too? No, not the “I love you too thing”, it was just too soon and inappropriate. Should I at least fight with him? Should I give this a chance?
There were so many questions running in my head now. I didn’t know which one to answer or
find an answer to.
I glanced around the room with the tears in my eyes at bank. I needed to look at other things, to get my mind off his note. I didn’t want to cry anymore.
Shit! I was late to work. My eyes saw the clock indicating that I was an hour late.
I stood up from the couch as fast as I could, not minding about the flowers, I had no time for it. I prepped myself in the fastest way known to humankind. I was so gonna get the Anderson talk if I didn’t arrive in the diner fast.
~***~
“So, what happened with the talk?” Margaret asked as we shop for groceries together.
We were pushing our carts towards the breakfast aisle to look for the cereal Aiden ate for breakfast.
“What always happened whenever Aiden and I have the talk.” I replied as I scanned each box. My friend knew that when my twin and I had the talk it always exhausted me mentally and physically. Having a conversation with Aiden was like being interrogated by the FBI.
She chuckled. “Oh. I can imagine that.”
“So we meet again.” A familiar drawl flooded my ears.
I turned around at the same time as Margaret did and blinked, not believing who was standing in front of me.
“Hello there. I forgot to ask your name last time.” Trey Lockhart said as he offered his hand to me.
“Amanda Sparks.” I took his hand to shake it but to my surprise, he pulled me closer to him. He was too handsome up close, movie star handsome.
“Trey Lockhart.” He said in a low voice as if he was whispering like we were inside the bedroom.
I stared into his gray eyes and I could not help but be taken in by its power. Gray eyes have this special ability to talk to your soul, that was what I thought.
A smile slowly crossed his face and if I was not so in love with Damon, I would probably faint. He was just too handsome and hot, a very lethal combination. But Damon’s the one I want, and he was as handsome and hot as Trey. He was just not cocky like Trey was.
“You’re still freaking beautiful like the last time we met.” He said in that lovely warm voice of his.
“And you’re still full of yourself like the last time we met.” I retorted.
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