‘Like what?’
There was another pause. Another moment of silence that only served to make Amber nervous.
‘It’s nothing, Amber, really. He was just upset, about all the negative publicity, and what it might all mean for his career, but it’s all alright now, isn’t it?’
‘Sort of, from what I can gather. Debbie, I’m struggling to understand this conversation, really I am.’
‘Yeah. I kind of wish I hadn’t started it myself.’
‘Did he say something else to you? Ryan, I mean. Apart from the obvious.’
A longer pause this time, and Amber clearly heard another heavy sigh come down the line.
Just tell me, Debbie, will you? I’m not going to shoot the messenger, alright? Whatever he’s said, it can’t be that bad, can it?’
‘I’m just worried he’s going to go back to what he used to be, Amber.’
Amber waited a second or two before responding to that, because she wasn’t entirely sure that was what Debbie had really wanted to say. ‘Okay, look, I’m getting bored of this now, so, I’m gonna love you and leave you, Debs. Ryan isn’t going to revert back to his old ways, I’m almost 100 per cent sure about that. And whatever it is he told you, you’re obviously not going to tell me…’
‘Amber, babe, I really am worried about him.’
‘I’ll speak to you soon, Debbie. Give Gary my love and Jodi a big hug from her godmummy.’ She threw her phone down on the desk, once more throwing herself back against Jim’s leather chair.
‘What’s that phone ever done to you?’ Jim smiled, closing his office door behind him.
Amber looked up, returning his smile. ‘Nothing. It’s Debbie. Sometimes talking to her is like entering the twilight-zone.’
Jim raised an amused eyebrow. ‘You two had some kind of disagreement?’
‘No,’ Amber sighed, getting up and walking over to him, straightening his jacket collar before kissing him quickly. ‘She just starts these conversations and then backs away from telling me something she obviously wants to tell me at the last minute.’
Jim’s expression changed from amusement to confusion.
‘She said she’d spoken to Ryan before he came down to London, and he’d said something to her that he’d made her promise not to tell me…’
‘Like what?’
‘That’s what I’ve just spent the past five minutes trying to get out of her. In the end I gave up. Whatever it is it’ll be pointless.’
Jim’s arm fell around her waist, pulling her closer. ‘Well, it can’t have been important, whatever it was. Anyway, shouldn’t Ryan be heading back home soon?’
‘He’s going tomorrow. He wanted to spend one more day with Rico. He’s not back training with Newcastle Red Star until Monday.’
‘Is he okay about being stripped of the captaincy?’
‘He seems fine about it. What’s bothering him the most is that Max has advised him to quit with the transfer talk and just keep his head down at Red Star for the foreseeable future.’ She looked up at Jim, right into those green eyes of his. ‘Is it really bad of me to be relieved about that? I mean, of course I feel for him. If I had to be away from Rico for any length of time it would devastate me. But I almost breathed a sigh of relief when he told me. He loves Rico so much, Jim. And I still feel so selfish for separating them like this.’
Jim squeezed her waist, kissing her gently, and Amber felt that familiar calm start to spread through her the second his lips touched hers. That was the effect he had on her. ‘Ryan Fisher is all grown up, Amber. People keep telling you that and you refuse to believe them. You keep saying that the person he was back then and the person he is now are two completely different people, so quit worrying about him and let’s just get on with our lives, okay?’
‘Is that an order?’
He smiled his all-encompassing, overwhelming smile and Amber felt her stomach dip and dive in the familiar, beautiful way it always did when he smiled at her. ‘Yeah. If it has to be.’
She reached up and slid a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down for another, longer kiss. ‘Okay. I’ll stop worrying about Ryan.’
‘Promise?’
She returned his smile, running her thumb lightly over his mouth. ‘I promise.’
‘Good.’
She stood on tiptoes to kiss him once more, pressing herself against him and then regretting it. ‘I’d better go.’ She smiled again, letting her hand drop, resting it against him. He was hard, and she would have loved nothing more than to see to that for him, but her timing was more than a little off. ‘Sorry.’
He laughed, shaking his head as she walked off. ‘You’re gonna pay for this later, missy.’
She turned around, backing up against the door, biting down on her lip. ‘Have I been a bad girl, again?’
‘Get out of here,’ he laughed, sitting down on the edge of his desk, wincing slightly due to that poorly timed hard-on.
She blew him a kiss and slipped out of his office, closing the door quietly behind her. Jim waited a few seconds, looking down at his, thankfully, diminishing erection. She could do that to him with just one look, never mind a kiss.
Looking at the door, satisfied nobody was coming back through it any time soon, he reached for his phone, pressing call without a moment’s hesitation. He had something to sort out. And it needed doing before kick-off.
*
‘You don’t mind, do you? Ellen being around Rico, I mean.’
‘Well, I’m not over the moon about it, no. But I can’t stop you from seeing whoever you want. Although, I wish you weren’t seeing the woman who messed about with Brandon. What she did to him was wrong, Ryan. He’s really cut up about it. He doesn’t say as much, but I can tell.’
Ryan looked down at the floor, a brief glimmer of guilt making its presence felt. He couldn’t really argue with the fact that how Ellen had gone about things – well, it was wrong. Of course it was. But he needed another distraction right now, and as weak as it might sound, Ellen was there, and he didn’t have the energy or the inclination to go looking for anyone else. She was there. He could live with his conscience.
Amber rocked Rico gently in her arms as she watched Ryan’s body language. She could tell he wasn’t totally comfortable, which she was pleased to see. It meant that maybe he really did feel bad about jumping straight into bed with the woman who’d broken Amber’s stepson’s heart. Not that he’d do anything about it, of course. But she didn’t expect that he would.
She leaned over to kiss Rico’s warm forehead. He smelt of baby talc and Amber wished she could just stay there and hold him for the next hour and a half. But she was actually there to work. Endleigh United versus Wandsworth Rovers was that evening’s Cloud Sports televised match and she was on interview duty. She should really be down on the pitch now, trying to grab a word with whoever was out there during the warm-up.
‘You can, if you want to.’
Amber looked up at Ryan, still rocking Rico gently back and forth. ‘Sorry?’
‘You can stop me from trying to see people. I don’t mind.’
She stared at him for a few seconds. ‘Stop it, Ryan. Anyway, I’ve just had a really strange conversation with Debbie. She said you spoke to her, just before you came down here. She said you told her something that you’d made her promise not to tell me. Feel like sharing what that was, exactly?’
‘Not really. It was nothing.’
‘Yeah, that’s exactly what she said and I didn’t believe her, either.’
‘It was nothing, Amber.’
She kissed Rico’s cheek, carefully handing him back to Ryan. ‘There’s nobody else here, but there will be in a minute, so, if it’s something private – although why it would be private if you’ve told Debbie…’
‘Did Jim have anything to do with my involvement in that betting ring hitting the headlines?’
Amber blinked a few times, trying to take in what he’d just told her. ‘I’m sorry?’
&
nbsp; ‘I think he had something to do with it.’
‘Oh, you think he had something to do with it? And do you have any proof to back that up?’
‘No, not exactly…’
‘Not exactly? Jesus, Ryan, I thought we were past all this. What the hell would Jim gain from selling you out like that?’
‘I don’t know, Amber. Why don’t you ask him?’
She narrowed her eyes, staring him out. ‘Okay. Now, I don’t know what it was exactly you said to Debbie, but I don’t want to hear it. Jim had nothing to do with this…’
‘You sure about that?’
Amber took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, her eyes focused on the floor because she didn’t trust herself to look at him and stay calm. ‘Just look after Rico, and don’t even think about leaving him alone with Ellen. You got that?’
‘Amber, please…’
‘I’ll be back later.’
She left the director’s box and headed back out into the corridor, bumping into Ronnie on her way. ‘Whoa there! You in a hurry?’
She stopped and looked up at him. ‘Do you think Jim had anything to do with all that coming out about Ryan and the betting ring?’
Ronnie frowned. ‘Where’s this come from?’
‘Ryan seems to think Jim’s to blame.’
‘Look, sweetheart, Ryan is probably going to blame Jim for everything that goes wrong in his life now. Just ignore him.’
She leaned back against the wall, absentmindedly chewing on a nail. ‘Maybe I should talk to him.’
‘Who? Ryan? I thought you just had.’
‘No. Jim.’
‘So, you think he might have something to do with it?’
Her head shot up. ‘No! Of course not. It’s just…’
‘Just, what?’ Ronnie asked, joining her at the wall.
‘Oh, I don’t know. Given everything that’s happened in the past… But I know he wouldn’t do that now, Ronnie. Jim has nothing to gain by trying to blacken Ryan’s name, not any more. Do you know? I hate it when Ryan does this. I really hate it.’
‘I told you, Amber, just ignore him. His head’s all over the place at the minute…’
‘Yeah, well, his head’s been all over the place for far too long, Ronnie, and I’m tired of it. I’m tired of all this crap between him and Jim. I moved down here to get away from all that but it’s never gonna happen, is it?’
‘Don’t let it get to you, kiddo.’
She turned her head to look at him, a slight smile on her face. ‘When the hell did you get so chilled-out? Don’t tell me Hayley’s done this to you?’
Ronnie stretched his arms up above his head, letting out a loud, contented sigh. ‘Well, let’s just say that I’ve never felt so relaxed in all my life.’
‘Glad to hear it. She’s a lovely girl.’
‘Yeah, I like her,’ Ronnie laughed, and Amber couldn’t help but laugh, too, leaning over to quickly kiss his cheek.
‘I don’t know what I’d do without you, Ronnie White.’
‘You’d survive. I just don’t want you to have to.’ He gave her hand a quick squeeze and threw her a smile, leaning in to kiss her mouth, ever so briefly. ‘Forget Ryan Fisher, okay? He’s had a bit of a rough time lately and he’s just looking for someone to blame. Jim’s the obvious choice.’
‘Yeah, I suppose you’re right,’ Amber sighed, pushing a hand through her loose curls. ‘Anyway, aren’t you supposed to be up in the studio?’
Ronnie looked at his watch. ‘Christ, yes. I’ll catch up with you in a bit, okay?’
Amber watched him run off along the corridor, digging her hands into her pockets while she contemplated whether to go and see Jim, or whether she should go and get herself mic’d up, which is what she should be doing. She was already running late.
She turned and headed back towards Jim’s office and the dressing rooms, not exactly sure what she was going to say to him when she found him; she just felt this was what she needed to do for her own peace of mind. Ryan had sown a seed of doubt in there and now she couldn’t shift it, no matter how much she wanted to forget it.
Approaching the door of Jim’s office she leaned in, her hand hovering over the handle, but the sound of his voice coming from inside stopped her from walking straight in. She could hear him talking, and the fact she couldn’t hear another voice made her think he must be on the phone, so she took a step back. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe she should just head off down to the pitch, where she should be right now, and get on with her job. Maybe now, less than an hour before kick-off – maybe now wasn’t the time to start questioning her husband over an irrational hunch Ryan Fisher was harbouring. But was it irrational?
The noise coming from the nearby open dressing-room door, and people coming in and out of the Players’ Lounge down the corridor distracted Amber somewhat, making her lose focus slightly. She really didn’t know what to do, but what she did know was that she hated herself for thinking, for even the briefest of seconds, that Ryan might be right.
Leaning in towards the door again she could still hear Jim’s voice. It was raised slightly now, giving her the impression it was a conversation that wasn’t going entirely her husband’s way.
She knew she should just walk away, but there was another part of her that made her lean in even closer, straining to hear what Jim was saying, and she didn’t even know why; it was probably just some transfer deal going wrong. They were at the back end of the transfer window now, and when it got this close to the deadline things often got heated as clubs started to play dirty and players became more demanding. He was probably just trying to level with an agent or a fellow manager as they attempted to meet somewhere in the middle and strike some kind of deal.
‘No, I know there was no guarantee…’
Amber pressed her ear right against the door, cupping her hand around it in the hope it would shut out some of the ambient noise surrounding her and allow her to hear more.
‘I know that… Look, I didn’t know this would be the outcome… Of course I wasn’t naïve enough to… I know. I know you warned me this could happen. I just hoped things might have been a bit more concrete, that’s all…’
Amber heard voices growing closer along the corridor and she jumped away from the door, almost running away from it. Those few words she’d heard Jim speak were nothing, really. And she’d heard it all out of any kind of context. But they could be construed as pretty ambiguous, if she thought too much about it. Damn Ryan Fisher for putting thoughts into her head that would never have got there if it hadn’t been for him.
Jim was different now. There was no way he’d have had anything to do with that story about Ryan. He was different now. He was a different man. She only wished Ryan was, too.
Chapter Twenty
‘Jesus, Ellen, what’s with all your crap lying all over the place?’ Ryan was slightly agitated by the fact Ellen seemed to be moving her stuff into his home bit by bit. Ever since he’d arrived back in Newcastle she seemed to bring more things with her each time she came over; bags full of underwear and perfume and make-up that she left lying around every available surface in every one of his bathrooms. ‘I hope you’re not getting any ideas about moving in,’ he huffed, sliding up onto a stool at the breakfast bar.
‘Would you like some tea?’ Ellen asked, ignoring his rude behaviour.
‘Yeah. Go on.’
‘And a good morning to you, too,’ she sighed, turning around to pour some boiling water into a mug.
Ryan looked at her, a sudden wave of guilt washing over him, causing his shoulders to sag. ‘Look, Ellen, I’m sorry. Okay? I’m just a bit stressed, alright? I didn’t mean to take it out on you.’
She turned back around and smiled at him, handing him his mug of tea. ‘Don’t worry about it.’
‘No, listen, I really am sorry. It’s just – it’s hard, y’know? Having the captaincy taken away from me and all the crap that’s still going down in the press.’
She leaned forward, resting
her elbows on the breakfast bar, throwing him what she hoped was a warm and reassuring smile. ‘You knew it wasn’t going to go away overnight, babe.’
‘It’s been two weeks now.’
She just raised an eyebrow, leaning further forward to kiss him quickly. ‘What time you got to be at the training ground today?’
‘Half ten. Shouldn’t you be at Tynebridge by now? Isn’t the entire P.R. department over there still on red alert, ready to divert all that unwanted media attention away from the place?’
She looked at him, throwing him a sarcastic smile. ‘Newcastle Red Star doesn’t just revolve around you, mister. You’re not the only thing we have to concentrate on, you know. Anyway, I’ve got the morning off. So, how about we go back to bed and I try to ease some of that tension you still seem to be feeling?’
Ryan pushed a hand through his hair, sighing quietly. ‘I dunno, Ellen… I’m not really… Jesus! Was I about to turn down the offer of sex there?’
Ellen couldn’t help smiling as she watched his face break into a grin; watched as he slid down from his stool and walked over to her, slowly sliding the short, baby-blue robe she was wearing down off one shoulder, leaning over to kiss it gently.
‘Now that’s the Ryan Fisher I recognise,’ she groaned, throwing her head back as he loosened her robe, sliding a hand inside to cup one of her breasts. ‘And I need to see more of him.’
He looked at her, his grin showing no signs of disappearing. What the hell was wrong with him? Was he really going to let all the crap that had happened fuck up everything in his life? Ellen was beautiful and smart, and willing. Loyalty might be an issue, because he still wasn’t comfortable with the way she’d treated Brandon Palmer, but who the hell was he to start preaching about morals and loyalty? She was here and she was willing to take his mind off everything that just made him want to kick out right now. Something he couldn’t afford to do. ‘You said something about going back to bed. That offer still open?’
Ellen pushed herself closer against him, sliding her hands up the back of his t-shirt, touching his warm skin, letting her mouth brush gently over that space just below his ear; a place she knew he liked to be touched, and she smiled as she felt his body give an involuntary shiver. ‘You bet your life it is.’
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