‘Ryan, no. No!’
He let go of her, pulling away slightly, his hands now in his pockets, his head down. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘So am I,’ she whispered, taking one more look at him before she turned to open the door. ‘So am I.’
Chapter Thirty-Three
‘I can’t believe this is your last match for Newcastle Red Star,’ Gary said, sitting down next to Ryan in the dressing room as they prepared for their final game of the season, against Endleigh United.
‘No. Neither can I,’ Ryan sighed, leaning forward, clasping his hands between his knees. ‘It all feels a little surreal, if I’m honest.’
‘I’m really gonna miss you.’
Ryan turned to face Gary, a smile slowly spreading across his face. ‘Yeah. I guess I’m gonna miss you, too.’
‘Still, I’ll be coming over to visit. You can bet your life on that.’
‘You mean we’ll be coming over to visit, surely. You and Debbie?’
‘I’m not bringing Debbie. Jesus, mate, we’re talking L.A. here! I’m not gonna bring the wife.’
‘Then you might want to tell her that.’
They both looked up as Amber walked into the dressing room, Ryan’s heart immediately stopping dead in his chest. She looked as hot as hell in a cobalt-blue dress that clung to her every curve, and bright-red, wedge-heeled ankle boots. She’d certainly made sure she had the colours of both teams playing this afternoon covered, that was for sure – red for Newcastle Red Star and blue for the colours of Endleigh United. Had she done that on purpose? Yeah. She probably had. She still looked as hot as hell, though, and he felt the first stirrings of an inappropriate hard-on start to make itself felt. Him and every other player in the room right now, he thought, watching their reactions as she leaned back against the wall, propping one foot up behind her, which only served to raise that dress a little higher up her thigh. Something that, once again, didn’t fail to get a reaction.
‘Jesus!’ she sighed, looking around the dressing room. ‘Most of you have seen me naked, for Christ’s sake. I’m sure you can all handle a bit of leg.’
‘She means that Ice photo shoot,’ Ryan said, noticing Gary’s expression change.
‘Oh. Yeah, of course.’
‘She’s already planning her shopping trip along Rodeo Drive,’ Amber went on, fixing Gary with a look. ‘Debbie, that is. You know, your wife. The one you don’t want to take with you when you visit him over in the States.’ She jerked her head at Ryan.
‘She might get bored.’
Amber just raised an eyebrow. ‘You think?’
Ryan couldn’t say anything. He’d known she was working this afternoon. He’d known she was going to be everywhere around this ground, but he guessed he hadn’t quite been prepared for just how beautiful she was going to look. How much she’d changed over these past couple of years, from the cold but still beautiful ice-queen bitch he’d first met, to this incredible, red-hot woman in front of him. And she could have been his. She could have been.
‘Anyway, I just came in to see how you were all doing. Dave said I should make sure you were all decent before I walked in here but, hell. Come on. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, huh?’ She threw them all a wink, and with a smile thrown over her shoulder she left just as quickly as she’d arrived. But Ryan couldn’t let her go. Not yet.
‘Amber, hang on. Wait!’
‘Shouldn’t you be back in there getting ready?’ she asked, looking at the dressing room door he’d just burst through.
‘It’s my last game, Amber. The rule book’s just been thrown out. Is Rico here?’
‘My dad’s got him up in his box.’
‘Can I go see him?’
‘Of course you can. Look, I’ve got to go, Ryan. Jim and the Endleigh squad are about to arrive, and…’
‘You still sure?’
She looked at him, cocking her head slightly. ‘Still sure about what?’
‘About staying with him. You’ve still got time to change your mind, I don’t leave for L.A. for another few days, so…’
‘I’m sure, Ryan. So, please, let’s just leave this, okay? Because it isn’t fair on either of us now.’
‘I love you, Amber. That hasn’t changed, and I doubt it ever will.’
She smiled, and all that did was make his heart shatter into more tiny pieces. ‘It’ll change. And you’ll find someone who can love you back the way you deserve to be loved.’
‘I wanted that person to be you.’
She kept her eyes on him, taking in his handsome face with that heavy stubble and those dark, dark-blue eyes. Her handsome Geordie boy. ‘There was a time when I wanted that person to be me, too, Ryan. But things have changed.’
He looked down at the ground at his black boots, his hands in the pockets of his match-day suit pants. He had one chance left. And he wasn’t even sure it would work, because he had no proof. None. And it was something that could backfire spectacularly if he was wrong. But he had a hunch, and it was the only card he had left to play now.
‘Ask Jim something for me, Amber.’
She frowned as she looked at him. ‘Ask him what?’
‘How much involvement he really had in making sure I signed for an American club.’
She felt as though someone had punched her hard in the stomach. ‘I… what are you talking about?’
‘Just something Max said. Or didn’t say would be more accurate. Something he let slip. It wasn’t his idea to make me go to the States. He all but said that.’
‘And what’s Jim got to do with it?’
‘The idea was all his.’
*
She walked outside, onto the steps of the Tynebridge main entrance, the warm May sunshine hitting her face as she looked up at the clear blue sky. It was a beautiful day for a game of football. A pretty pointless game, if the truth be told, because Endleigh were already League champions and Newcastle Red Star could finish no higher than eighth place this season, even if they won all three points this afternoon. But Ryan had just thrown a little black cloud up into that perfect sky; something that had made her think twice and question everything.
She turned to look down the steps as the Endleigh United team bus drew up outside the stadium and she watched the players, dressed in their matching suits, some of them wearing headphones, others chatting away to each other as they stepped down from the bus and made their way up the steps and into the stadium.
She didn’t take her eyes off that bus until she saw him. The Endleigh United manager. A man who was so good at his job clubs from all over the world wanted him to take charge of their teams. Her husband. Was he the man who really had tried to make sure Ryan Fisher left this country?
Those trademark aviator shades of his covered his eyes as he walked up the steps, his head slightly down, but as soon as he reached the top, it was almost as if he’d sensed she was there. He looked up, took his shades off and slid them into the top pocket of his jacket.
He smiled at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. He looked so handsome. So heartbreakingly handsome, and when he came over to her, uncharacteristically breaking his match-day focus to do something so unlike him, she had to take a deep breath. But maybe that focus wasn’t so necessary today, seeing as his team had nothing to play for. They’d already won it.
‘You look incredible,’ he whispered, sliding an arm around her waist and surprising her even more by kissing her, something which didn’t go unnoticed by the members of the press, who were hanging around outside. ‘Meet me back out here in five minutes.’
‘Jim?’
‘Five minutes, Amber.’ And with a quick squeeze of her waist he left her standing there while he followed the last of his squad inside.
Amber leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes briefly as she tried to get her head around what Ryan had said. Was it just another hunch? Was he just trying to stick the boot in one last time in the hope that she’d finally give in?
‘Here
you are. I was wondering where you’d got to.’
Her eyes sprung open to see Ronnie standing there. ‘Oh, sorry. Yeah, I just… I just needed a bit of fresh air.’
‘They’ve arrived, then,’ Ronnie went on, nudging his head in the direction of the Endleigh team bus, which was currently being parked in a space directly opposite the Tynebridge Stadium entrance.
‘Yeah. Just now.’
Ronnie frowned. ‘You alright?’
‘I’m fine. Just feel a bit light-headed, that’s all.’
‘You’re not…?’
‘No. I’m not. If only it were that easy.’
He leaned back against the wall beside her. ‘Come on. What’s he said?’
‘Who?’
‘I dunno. Either of them. But one of them’s obviously said something.’
‘It’s nothing,’ she sighed, pulling herself away from the wall. ‘It’s just a bit of an emotional day, you know? What with it being Ryan’s last match for Red Star. His last match for a British club.’
‘You having second thoughts?’
She didn’t answer straight away, her eyes focused on the dispersing crowd, who were now all making their way to the various entrances around the stadium that led inside. ‘Jim has a lot of contacts in the USA.’ She turned to look at Ronnie. ‘Doesn’t he?’
Ronnie shrugged. ‘He’s got a few.’
‘And some of those contacts are connected to L.A. Gamers, right?’
‘I don’t know, Amber. They might be. Where’s all this leading?’
‘Would he really have done that?’ She’d turned her head away again, staring back down at the car park below.
‘Done what? Amber, sweetheart, you’re making no sense again.’
‘I need to see Max.’
‘Why?’
‘After everything we’ve been through…’
‘Amber!’
But she’d ran back inside before he had a chance to ask anything else.
‘Whoa, where are you running off to?’
She looked up as Jim caught her arm.
‘You okay?’ He frowned, his grip on her wrist loosening.
‘I’m fine,’ she replied, taking a step back. ‘Look… what did you want to meet me for?’
He smiled, that wonderful smile that made his eyes crinkle up and her heart miss that proverbial beat. ‘I would have thought that was obvious.’
It was her turn to frown. This wasn’t like Jim at all. His behaviour was different; his whole match-day routine had apparently been thrown out of the window, and it was all slightly unsettling. Was this really just because it was the last day of the season and his team had nothing to play for today? ‘Shouldn’t you be in the dressing room?’
‘Colin’s taking care of all that. It’s not like the guys need a lot of direction for this game, is it?’
‘I’m supposed to be working, Jim.’
He moved closer and she let him. Despite what was happening inside her head she let him circle her waist and pull her closer, right there where everyone could see them. But that didn’t matter. He was her husband. He was the man she’d chosen to spend the rest of her life with, right? ‘It won’t take long, believe me. With you looking like that, it really won’t take long.’
‘Not here,’ she said, gently pushing him away, her hand sliding into his. ‘Come on. I know a little room just off the corridor downstairs that…’ She stopped talking. He really didn’t need to know it was a place she and Ryan had used many a time when they’d needed a quick fix. ‘It’s quiet. And nobody ever comes down there. Not on a match day, anyway. They’re far too busy up here.’
He didn’t argue, he simply clung onto her hand as she led him out of the reception area and down some stairs that led away from the main part of the stadium. All of a sudden she really needed this. She wanted this. Yes, she was confused and she didn’t know what to think any more, but she wanted this. She wanted to fuck him; to feel him and know that he was there for her. She needed to know he was real. She needed to know if he was a liar.
Pushing the door open with her bottom she pulled him inside, kicking the door shut behind her and leaning back against it. It had no lock, so that was the only safe way to do this.
‘Amber?’
She kept her eyes on his as she reached up under her dress, slipping off her knickers. ‘Is this what you wanted?’ she asked, sliding her dress up over her thighs, just high enough to give him a tiny glimpse of what he could have. Of what he was going to get.
‘You know it’s what I want.’
She reached out and pulled him closer by his tie, sliding his suit jacket back off his shoulders until it fell to the floor. ‘Then you can have it,’ she breathed, taking his hand and placing it between her legs, watching as his eyes closed and his head dropped, a low, quiet groan escaping from him as he pushed his hand up against her. ‘You can have it all.’ Before she took everything away? That all depended.
‘I love you so much,’ he gasped, burying his face in her hair as he pushed her dress a little further up over her hips, holding onto her tightly as he kissed her, their tongues touching as he lifted her up, pushing her back against the door. She wrapped her legs around him, her fingers in his hair as their kiss deepened, and she couldn’t help but cry out a little as he pushed into her. It felt so good. It felt right, when he was inside her. It felt right. He was her husband and she loved him. She still loved him so much. But if he’d done this – if he’d done what Ryan had insinuated…
‘Oh, baby, you are so good to me,’ he groaned, pushing just that little bit harder, that little bit faster, until they both came in a flood of cries, her fingers grabbing his hair as she felt him take her over, filling her up with everything he had to give her. Her beautiful American man. The love of her life. A manipulative control freak? Or someone who just got scared? This was what she needed to know.
She held onto him tightly as their breathing slowed down, their bodies still joined together and she wasn’t really ready to let him go just yet. So she stayed where she was, holding onto him, because she was frightened of what she was going to hear when this was over.
She kept her eyes closed as he slowly pulled out of her, putting her back down.
‘Jesus, Amber… you have no idea how much I needed that.’ He pushed a hand through his hair, watching as she slipped back into her knickers, pulling her dress down over her thighs with a wiggle of her hips that almost brought his hard-on back to life.
‘I kind of needed that, too,’ she said, reaching out to touch his cheek, kissing him again, letting the taste of him linger on her lips for as long as she possibly could. ‘But I really should be getting back to work. And you’ve got a team to run.’
‘They can look after themselves,’ he said quietly, his fingers intertwining with hers, his breath warm on her cheek as he stayed close.
She could feel her heart still hammering hard, her stomach turning for reasons that weren’t all good. Why had Ryan said that? Why had he, once again, tried to make her think twice about what she was doing? But hadn’t he been right the first time? When he’d accused Jim just a few months ago, he’d been right. So there was every chance he was going to be right again. And that’s what scared Amber more than anything.
‘Kiss me again,’ she breathed, looking up into his eyes, a pain cutting right across her chest that made her flinch slightly. ‘I want you to kiss me forever,’ she whispered. She just had no idea how long their ‘forever’ was going to be any more.
‘I think I can do that.’ He smiled, cupping her cheek in the palm of his hand, his thumb gently stroking her skin as his mouth rested on hers and she just fell against him. He was kissing her deep and slow, his fingers clinging onto hers, their bodies touching, the heat surrounding them almost unbearable. And Amber took in every wonderful second of his lips on hers, his fingers holding onto her hand so tightly – she took it all in. She let her head spin and her stomach flip; she let the confusion fade away for a few, glorious seconds as s
he enjoyed nothing but her husband kissing her. Her husband. A man she’d really thought she couldn’t live without.
‘Did you have any input in making sure Ryan signed for an American club?’
The question had come out before she’d even had time to think about asking it. The words had just slipped out of her mouth, and she couldn’t take them back now, even though a part of her wished she could.
Jim took a step back, but his hand was still holding hers, his head cocked slightly to one side, those beautiful green eyes of his narrowed as he stared at her. ‘Where the hell has this come from?’
‘Ryan,’ she whispered, letting her fingers slip away from his.
‘Ryan?’ he laughed, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘He said it was me who made sure he signed for an American club?’
She nodded, trying to read his face. Trying to see if he was lying to her. ‘He said it was all your idea. Or that you had something to do with it, at least. What’s he talking about, Jim?’
‘Baby, I don’t know…’
‘What is he talking about?’
‘Amber, you know what he’s trying to do. He won’t be happy until he’s driven us apart…’
‘Did you?’
He looked at her, and she felt her heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. ‘Did I what?’
‘Have anything to do with it?’
‘Amber, I…’
She shook her head, tears starting to prick the back of her eyes as she looked at him. She couldn’t say anything. No words would come out. But what could she say? She just wanted to get out of there. She had to get out of there. Even though he was calling her back, shouting her name, she still walked away. She had to get back to work; she didn’t have time for this now.
Final Score Page 44