He stooped to pick up the book. She reached for it at the same time. Instead of grabbing her book from the sand, he held her arm and looked up at her, then back at the scar running from her palm to the underside of her wrist.
His brow furrowed. That hadn’t been there the last time he saw her. A knot squeezed his gut. His thumb softly traced the jagged line. It had been cut with something uneven. “How did you get this?” His brain screamed at him to not ask. He didn’t want to know. After a long stretch of silence, he forced his chin up and held her gaze. “Jazmine?”
Pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth, she broke eye contact with him.
Sand clogged his throat. “Jazz?”
She glanced at him, then swung her eyes to Rosemarie. “What do you remember from the night I left?”
He had to fight the urge to go out and get lost in the waves. Facing his past actions, his mistakes, was never easy.
No matter how much the denial screamed in his skull, he had to hold steady and listen. He took a deep breath. “Not much. When I woke up, I was on the sofa. My laptop was in the yard. The front window was broken. Chairs were turned over and...”
That was the worst day of his life. Waking up to the mess he knew he had made but couldn’t remember how it had all played out. He could only imagine. “The table was turned over, dishes broken on the floor. The big mirror you loved was shattered into a million pieces. There was blood, but I had a few cuts and bruises, so I thought it was mine.” He tightened his fist and looked down, recalling the bloody cuts across his knuckles.
Please, tell me it was mine. He sat back on his heels and ran his fingers through his hair. “It wasn’t mine, was it?”
She shook her head, a sad smile on her face like she was apologizing. “I had made a special dinner to give you the news about...” A tear slipped down her cheek.
He didn’t want to hear this. “That night. You knew you were pregnant?”
Head down, she gave him a quick nod. “Yeah. I had called you to make sure you were coming home. You said you’d be home in less than an hour. I waited. A storm blew in, and I was so afraid you’d stopped off at the Watering Hole. I knew if I could just get you home, the baby would give you a reason to stop drinking.
“A few hours went by and you hadn’t shown. The storm got worse. I was worried about you being out. I called several times, but it went straight to voice mail. I didn’t bother to leave a message. I fell asleep on the sofa.”
“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.” He wanted to cry for the pain he had caused, the joy he had destroyed. All the time he had lost.
The worst part? He didn’t even know what had been so important that night that he hadn’t gone home to her. There were a few bars he had visited. The people were faceless, nameless. He’d given himself to them instead of to the woman he had promised to love and cherish. The mother of his daughter. His gut hit a new low.
“About two you stumbled in, mad about something. I couldn’t understand what you were saying. I was upset because this had become your normal. I told you to leave. That if you wanted to spend your nights with Will and Tristan, you could spend your days with them, too.”
He wanted to touch her. To give her the comfort he hadn’t given her that night.
“I told you the drinking had to stop. It was out of control. You were out of control. The anger was so intense. Then you turned your back to me.”
She took a deep breath and watched Rosemarie. “I was standing right behind you. Reaching out, I touched your shoulder.” She closed her eyes. “That’s when you clenched your fist and smashed it into the mirror. On the reflection of my face. I was shocked. I’d never seen you violent. You know my parents never even yelled. I was so scared.”
She had only been nineteen, and pregnant. His gaze went to their daughter, blissfully playing in the sand. Because of Jazmine, none of his ugliness had touched their innocent little girl. She was an incredible mother.
“I told you to stop. Instead, you went on a rampage. You hit the wall again. That was your blood on the walls there. You flipped the table, and then you threw your laptop through the front window. You were yelling that my father had ruined your life. I ran to our room and locked the door. You banged on the door, yelling at me to unlock it. I told you to leave. For about thirty minutes—it seemed so much longer—you ranted. Elijah, for the first time ever, I was afraid of you.”
He couldn’t hold back any longer. He placed his hands on her knees. “Jazz, if there was any way in the world I could go back and change that night—that year—I would in a heartbeat. There is no way I could ever express the...” He lifted his head. “There are no words, nothing I can do to erase that night.” He ran his thumb over the bunched scar tissue. “How did this happen?”
She shifted a little away from him and watched Rosemarie play for a while before continuing.
“You finally passed out. After I was sure, I opened the door and crept into the living area. You were face down on the sofa. I think I was in shock. The mirror. A present from my parents. The rage I saw in your eyes right before you smashed my reflection was something I had never seen and didn’t ever want to see again.”
Tears landed on his skin. He wasn’t sure if they were his or hers.
“All I wanted was to put the pieces back together. I went to my knees and tried to gather the broken shards of glass. Somewhere inside I thought if I could fix the mirror I could...” She shook her head. “The tears started falling so fast I couldn’t see. You made a noise. I jumped, thinking you had woken up. I cut myself. The blood was all over. I couldn’t stop it. I got a towel from the kitchen and went to my parents. I didn’t know what to do. Elijah, I had never been afraid of you before, but with your uncle’s history...”
Lifting her chin, she looked at Rosemarie. Their daughter was pressing sand into molds.
He nodded. “I get it. After my aunt died, my uncle got worse. We decided to send Gabby away to her mother’s sister. She was only eight, but it was the only way we knew to protect her.”
“Gabby?”
“Yeah, she’s the baby of the family. Xavier and Damian’s little sister.”
Tears hovered on her bottom lashes. All the pain in those eyes had been put there by him. “I hated my uncle. I wished I could have sent my sister away. You did what you had to do to protect our daughter.”
Now he looked at the tiny little human he had helped create. She stood and danced to the other side of the mountain of sand. A few other children stood close, like they wanted to play but didn’t know how to ask.
She caught his gaze and waved at him, her smile open and honest. There were no clouds of pain or hurt in her eyes. He realized at that moment that he had to let go of all the anger he had been holding on to.
He looked back to the mother of his child. “You did what you had to do to protect her. You are an incredible mother. She has no clue how blessed she is to have you. Is there anything I can do to... I don’t know? I want to make your life better. I can’t do enough to make this up to you and her.”
“Elijah, you don’t have to work so hard for her to like you.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the chair. “Go be with your daughter. I need to be alone right now. We’ll talk about the horse later.”
He glanced down at the book in his hand before handing it to her. “So, you haven’t stopped reading your romance novels. Does that mean you still believe in love?”
“It’s fiction.” The lack of emotion in her eyes tore at his heart. He was the reason for the emptiness there. She took the book. “It’s an escape that my heart needs. My daughter is my focus.”
He nodded. “I want her to be my focus, too. Please let me put Friday in the books. Belle can have everything ready at the ranch. There’ll be a horse for each of you.”
“Your persistence must be why you’ve been so successful at your business.”
“Sorry. I just need to do something, and she wants a horse ride.” He wanted to tell her that the business didn’t mean anything to him; it had just given him something to do. He had been so lost without her, but it wasn’t fair to her to lay his pain and guilt at her feet. “I want her to meet her aunt and cousins. They want to meet her.”
With a heavy sigh, she glanced over at their daughter. “Be at the house, Friday at 5:30. A short ride. Maybe just around the barn. She’s never been on a horse before. So small steps. Okay?”
“Okay,” he quickly agreed. “After we ride, we can make ice cream with peaches at the ranch house.” He smiled, remembering all the nights he had made her ice cream with fresh peaches. She had joked that the treat was the reason she had fallen in love with him. He’d given her too many reasons to fall out of love. Pushing out a hard breath, he looked at the sky and cleared his thoughts.
“I’d like her to see the family place.”
An unladylike snort escaped Jazmine. “You hated your family’s ranch.”
“It’s better with my uncle gone. There’s not much to give her when it comes to my family history, but it’s a part of her history, too.”
She glanced at her phone. “You’re wasting time talking with me when you should be talking to your daughter. Go build a castle. Friday we’ll go riding with you.”
“Daddy! Come help me.”
He needed to stay focused on his daughter. The days were flying by in a rush. The limited time had to be used wisely, to make a permanent bond with his daughter, so that when they went back to Denver he’d still be a part of her life.
Jogging over to her, he went to his knees.
“Daddy.”
“Get ready to make the biggest castle ever.” Picking up a shovel, he pushed it deep into the sand. His heart absorbed the sound of her joy, and he thanked God for the gift he had been given. He needed to enjoy the moment and not think about the things he couldn’t change.
Jazmine had done what she had needed to do, but now she was back, and he was sober.
God had given him a second chance. He might not deserve it, but he wasn’t going to waste it.
He invited the kids who had been hovering to join the fun. He knew the parents of one of the boys. The girls giggled in agreement when Rosemarie explained how the cowboy had to be saved by the princess.
He glanced at Jazmine. Her eyes were focused on her book.
She had been his princess, but when she had tried to rescue him, he had pulled her into the riptides instead.
He thanked God that her parents had been there to get her out of his mess. They deserved his respect and appreciation.
* * *
Jazmine stared at the pages of her book, but the words just floated. Glancing up at the small group of children that had gathered around Elijah, she saw her shy daughter laughing as she played with children her own age. She looked like she belonged, instead of hanging around the edges watching the fun.
Elijah had done that for her. His charming, easygoing playfulness came so naturally to him. Early in their relationship she had told him he’d be a great father. Even now, she remembered the look of horror on his face. The thought of having children had terrified him.
Looking back, she had probably added to his stress every time she’d mentioned wanting children.
He’d been so afraid of becoming his father or uncle. But she had assured him that he was so different from them. To her, he had always been a man of honor, one who loved deeply.
She had to take her gaze off the man. Instead, she turned her eyes to the endless horizon. The Elijah she needed to remember was the one who had started drinking.
Not the boy she fell in love with, the one who taught her to embrace life and dive into the water, to jump from the pier and dance with joy. She had lost him to alcohol. The addiction and his family legacy had swallowed him in their undertow.
Watching him with the children, with their daughter, she saw the man she had thought he could be. With the castle high, his little fan club added shells to the turrets and towers. A couple of boys finished the moat and let the water come in with the tide. A cheer erupted from the group, who laughed and clapped as the water rushed in and surrounded the grand castle.
Rosemarie ran to the canopy. “Momma, did you see it? It’s the biggest one ever!” She grabbed the bag with the rest of the toys. “We’re going to put the other people and horses in it, then Daddy’s going to show me how to stand on the board. Are you going to do it, too?” She bounced with excitement as she gathered up all the toys Elijah had bought her.
“No, sweetheart. I’m going to watch from the shade.” Jazmine picked up a bottle. “Before you go, let me put more sunblock on you.”
“It was nice of Daddy to get us shade, wasn’t it?” Rosemarie lifted the curls off the back of her neck, so the lotion could be reapplied.
“Yes, it was very thoughtful of him. Now go play—you only have an hour left before we leave.”
“But I don’t want to leave. I have new friends.”
“No arguments, or we can leave now.” She looked over at the other kids. “I’m sure your father knows some of their parents, so we can invite them over.”
“Can I invite them to my birthday party?” She sounded like her father.
By then they might be back in Denver. “We’ll talk about it later. Go play.”
With a heavy sigh, Rosemarie bounded off to her father and new friends.
Jazmine prayed her daughter wouldn’t get hurt when it came time to go back to Denver. Would Elijah still be so eager when they were out of sight and the newness had rubbed off?
Elijah ran to the water, waving for the kids to follow. His laughter had all the children running along with him. Her heart seemed ready to jump back in, but she was smarter this time and wouldn’t follow.
If he had really found his faith and left the drinking behind, maybe she could stick a toe in to test the waters.
Every child deserved a chance to have a loving father in their life. She closed her eyes. Please God, protect my baby girl’s heart.
If she was honest, her heart might be at risk, too.
Chapter Ten
Elijah gritted his teeth. Miguel had called from one of their boats out in the Gulf. Ben, one of their best captains, was in trouble. He’d been sober for eighteen months, but now he was drunk at the Watering Hole and was trying to drive himself home.
The owner had called Miguel instead of the cops, and in turn Miguel had called Elijah. He’d done this before.
With a quick glance at his watch, he calculated how much time he had before he was scheduled to pick up Rosemarie and Jazmine. He could get Ben home, then take his daughter out to the ranch for her first ride.
Crossing the threshold to the old dive had his skin crawling over his muscles. The dim lights of the bar hid the grunge and sadness. The smells turned his stomach. God, let me get in and out as quickly as possible.
More than five years had passed since he had been a patron. There was nothing pleasant or temping about his old hangout. This place had distracted him from his real life. The pressure from her family and his uncle had been his focus instead of Jazmine. He had hated the life he thought he was supposed to be living. But the beautiful parts had been lost too, because of fear.
He spotted Ben by the jukebox, arguing with Patrick, the owner. When the short man saw him, relief flooded his face. “Elijah! See, Ben, I told you he would come and get you home. You don’t need to drive.”
Ben’s red-rimmed eyes glared at him. “You said Miguel was...coming.” He tried to turn away and fell against the jukebox. “I don’t need no help. I can...drive just fine.” He stumbled in the other direction.
Patrick shook his head. “He won’t give me his keys.”
Elijah nodded and put his hand under Ben’s arm. “Come on, buddy. Let’s get you home
. When Miguel gets off the boat, he’ll stop by for a visit.”
“I can’t go home. She won’t...” The man started crying. “I promised—” He fell to the side.
“I’ll take you to Miguel’s place, okay?”
The older man nodded.
At first it went smoothly. Ben followed him to the parking lot. When Elijah opened his passenger-side door, the older man fell apart. Deciding he was being kidnapped, Ben made a run for his car, yelling and screaming.
With a heavy sigh, Elijah went after him.
Arms wide, Ben tried to swing at his rescuer.
“Ben, I’m here to help you.”
Another swing.
Elijah managed to duck, then tackled the man against the car. “Give me your keys so we can go home.” Not knowing where the man’s keys were, he was carefully guiding him toward his Ranger when Ben’s fist punched him in the center of his gut.
Being so unsteady on his feet, the older man didn’t create much of a threat. Even so, he managed to get another shot in, right on the bridge of Elijah’s nose. Great.
Miguel and Ben owed him big-time.
A patrol car pulled into the lot, blocking Elijah’s vehicle. He sighed. This was just getting better and better.
Officer Sanchez approached them. “Everything all right?”
“Oh, peachy. Just trying to get ol’ Ben to Miguel’s place safely.”
“Sounds like a good plan. Need help?”
Ben finally relaxed and let Elijah take him to the passenger’s door again. “Thanks, but I think we got it.”
This time he was able to open it as the drunken man leaned his head against the side of the Ranger. He was clearly giving up the fight.
Pulling out his phone, Elijah checked the time. Not too bad. If he could get the older man home, he’d be only a few minutes late. One arm braced against Ben’s chest to hold him in place, he scrolled and found Jazmine’s number.
A strange noise came from the man next to him. Before he realized what was happening, Ben had leaned into him and lost his last meal.
The Texan's Secret Daughter Page 10