His voice lingers at my neck. Wetness pools between my thighs. No one has ever spoken to me like this before. It’s hot and dirty and such a turn-on. His hand comes up to my neck and caresses my skin, cupping my head. Before I can respond, his lips connect with mine hungrily. This is a daydream. A very good, wet, daydream, I tell myself. Only it’s real, and I know this because a moan escapes my lips. He licks the seam of my mouth and then plunges his tongue inside and our tongues mingle, tasting, venturing. His hands drop down and cup my breasts. As his thumb runs over my sensitive nipple. I let out another moan, and he growls from the back of his throat, pressing his very hard cock into my stomach. All sanity leaves me as I press my pelvis into his hardness. And then he pulls away, panting, with heavy-lidded eyes. He places his hands on my shoulders, struggling to maintain distance between us. His chest heaves up and down. My own chest rises and falls. Holy hell, I would have had sex with him right there if he wanted me to. Luckily he stopped.
“We have to be careful.” His voice is low and husky and still filled with need. He glances from side to side, but the hall is empty. “I never know who’s following me,” he says. I take a minute to straighten out my hair and my shirt. I’m a disheveled mess after one hot, little interlude with him.
We leave the niche and walk toward the next hall, where we hear the children chattering. My lips are swollen. I can only imagine how they look. We catch up to Ge and Jenna, who eye us knowingly. The rest of the day feels like a bubble because I can’t get that hot make-out session out of my mind. I’m a hot, needy mess with his words running through my mind. He wants me. He can’t sleep with anyone else. How will I sleep quietly in bed tonight knowing he’s only two doors away and knowing what he can do to my body?
With the kids fast asleep, I take a hot bath. I feel the need to decompress. The kiss from the night before and our make-out session this afternoon has me all hot and bothered. My body got used to not having sex; I didn’t crave it much anymore. On occasion I would feel needy, but the need would eventually dissipate. Now something entirely different is happening. The need is growing astronomically. I was thinking of Dixon when I went to sleep, when I awoke in the morning, and throughout the day. I had naughty thoughts about him that I knew would never come to fruition. It was clear I wasn’t the ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am’ type that he seemed to opt toward.
I’m hot, horny, and completely at a loss. I get out of the bath and throw on my usual PJs. The maid had apparently gone through our things and laundered everything. I walk quietly toward the kitchen, figuring I’ll have my usual cup of tea and find a movie on the television. When I walk into the kitchen, I see Dixon sitting at the table with his head hanging low. I’m neither surprised nor startled. I want to know what’s sitting heavily on his mind.
“You want to talk about it?” I hit the kettle.
“Not really.”
“Okay. Do you want tea?” I ask, even though he said he doesn’t drink tea. I still want to be polite. It’s his home.
He gets up from the table and walks over to lean on the counter. “I’ll try it, sure. Let’s see what all the rave is. You seem to drink a lot of it.” He smiles.
As we stand in awkward silence waiting for the kettle to boil, I’m not sure what to say. His hands are crossed over his taut chest, and he’s watching me and possibly waiting for something. I want to lick my lips, run my hand along his shoulder, and pump that thick hard shaft of his with my hand. The thought causes heat to engulf my body. I wish he were a mind reader. He doesn’t move or say anything. Is he just as hot and horny as I am?
I take an extra mug from the cabinet. “How do you take it?” I ask, needing to break the silence, which to me equates to awkward sexual tension.
“Just tea,” he replies, keeping a heated gaze on me. It makes me feel fidgety. When the kettle is ready, I pour the boiling water with shaky hands. Dixon moves in and places a steady hand over mine. “Be careful or you’re going to burn yourself.” His words seem like they have a double meaning. Is he warning me against him?
I nod my head. He still doesn’t remove his hand from mine and my knees turn wobbly from his touch.
“Eden, you know if you want to talk about anything, I’m here. I went through a divorce. I may have some insight for you. I’m sure this must be hard on you, despite the fact that you and asshat didn’t have a …” He pauses.
“A normal relationship?” I laugh sardonically. “You can say it. It’s true. Although, it seems like you didn’t have a hard time at all. How could you possibly understand?” I reply and he pulls away, clearly upset by my words.
“You only know what was portrayed in the media. I assumed you would see past that … since you were living a lie for the media for so many years. I assumed wrong,” he answers, his voice filled with irritation and possibly hurt.
“Good night, Eden.” He turns and walks out of the kitchen. Just like that. The heat, the want, all of it is sucked out of the room because of my dumb comment. I wasn’t thinking, but he seems like he’s thriving jumping from woman to woman. I thought it was what he must have wanted like Blythe.
Feeling low, I take my tea and get into bed. I can’t stop replaying the conversation in my head. He was so close. His body felt so warm and welcoming as he helped me pour the water from the kettle. Then he completely shut down. He said he assumed I would know better. The media perceives him a rich, happy playboy. I’ve seen him play the part at school with the mothers …
I close my eyes. I will need to ask Ma about that tomorrow.
Annoying woman. Eden tops the list. I’m trying to be a good friend to her. It seems like she doesn’t have many friends or else she wouldn’t have asked me for help. I’m guessing I’m the last person she would have liked to ask. I’ve been nothing but kind to her. The reality is I would have liked to rip her clothes off and prop her up on my kitchen counter so I could drive my dick into her over and over again. Fuck, it took everything in me not take her right there. She was practically begging me with half-lidded eyes gazing at me in the dark. So fucking hot. Problem is she doesn’t need me to fuck her senseless. She needs to get her life together and figure out what she wants. She also needs to go through the whole divorce process with asshat. I don’t want to be a distraction for her. Fuck me, but I feel like I want everything with her. Marriage, kids. Spending time with her and the kids just feels so right, and I know our sexual chemistry is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Problem is I promised myself I would never commit that way again. My first marriage was royally fucked-up. I hate that Eden has messed with the groove I had going. Fucking lots of women was working very well for me. I wish I could continue to just fuck around. Problem is my dick has only been craving her …
Patience, Dick, patience. My mind is spinning. I can’t think of having anything with her. I promised myself I wouldn’t do that to Jaden. She’s his teacher. Grant is his good friend. I don’t want to mess that up if things go south. Platonic is really the only route to go. Besides, I just stalked away from her like a crazy person. Who knows what’s going through her mind now?
I get into bed and close my eyes. Problem is my hard-on is throbbing. I haven’t had sex since the night I fucked Eden, and having her around all the time doesn’t give my dick a break. It fucking wants to stand at attention every time she’s around. I begin to rub myself to thoughts of her blonde, long hair whipping around as she rides my dick. I picture her gazing into my eyes, while her insides swell, and she calls out my name. I come fast and hard, panting, wanting. As good as it feels, it does nothing to quell my need. In fact, it has the opposite effect. It makes me want her even more. I finally drift off to sleep, thinking of her blue, feline eyes.
I wake up at the crack of dawn. It’s Monday morning. It was tough avoiding Eden all day yesterday. It helped that she went out for most of the day. Ma said she took Grant to the gardens. I wish things weren’t so complicated, so the kids and I could have joined her, but it is what it is. I usually take the kids t
o school, but I left a message for Ma to take them this morning. I need to keep my distance. I wanted to help Eden out by having her stay with me, but it has only confused my mind even more. I know I should just go out and get laid. Problem is no one catches my attention. A useless fuck suddenly seems exactly that—useless. I head into the office early since I have a shit ton of work to catch up on. We’ve had ten thousand new users just this week, and we need to make sure the site doesn’t crash.
I also need to finish working on my project for Washington. I bury myself in work. Ma texts me that the kids got off to school okay. She also texts that I can’t run forever, and the truth is I know she’s right.
I open my eyes and get out of bed. I figure it’s okay to leave the room in my shorts and a tank. I’m not wearing a bra, but my tank top is black so it isn’t see-through. I walk into Jaden’s room to see the boys still fast asleep. They’re adorable. Grant’s mood has definitely lifted. He’s happy to be here, which makes me happy … even though I still feel uncomfortable around Dick. I know it’s my issue though.
I wake Grant and Jaden just as Ma walks into the room.
“Jaden, time for school,” she says.
“Where’s Dixon this morning?” I ask. I nearly called him Dick, which seems inappropriate to refer to him that way to her. I know he’s usually the one getting the kids ready for school.
“He left for work early this morning.” She shrugs her shoulders, but she eyes me warily.
“Oh, okay. Well, I can give the kids a ride to school. I’m going there anyway,” I offer.
“Dixon said it’s better I take the kids, since you don’t want people to know you are staying here,” she reminds me.
“Ah, right! That’s true. I’m sorry. I wish I could help in some way around here,” I mention. I don’t like staying here without helping.
“There isn’t much to do, but thanks for offering.” She smiles and then lifts Jaden out of bed. I carry my own son out of the room to get him ready or we will be late.
Twenty minutes later, Grant and I are dressed and eating Cheerios at the kitchen table with Macy and Jaden. Ma is standing off to the side, holding a cup of steaming coffee close to her chest. I get up from the table and make my way over to her.
“I think I said something to anger Dixon,” I admit hesitantly because I can see how protective she is of him.
“Uh huh, and what was that? He always takes the kids to school. He must have been really out of sorts to leave this early,” she says, pursing her lips at me. Oh no, I don’t want to be on her bad side.
“That’s it, I’m not sure. He mentioned I could talk to him about my own divorce, and I merely suggested that he wouldn’t understand what I am going through,” I explain hesitantly. I’m not even sure I should be talking to Ma at all about this, but she seems to know him like the back of her hand, and she’s been good to Grant and me.
“Well, that was a little judgmental, don’t you think?” she snaps.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just well … I don’t know if I should be saying this to you. He … well … gets around a lot.” I wince.
She bursts into a fit of laughter, “Girl, I may be old, but I’m no fool. I know Dixon is the whole package. I know he has the ladies eating out of the palm of his hand, but it isn’t who he is. He was a happily married man. He adored his wife and his children. He worked hard to build a life for himself.”
Her words take a moment to sink in. He was a happily married man, dedicated to his family. That could only mean one thing. His wife must have been the one to end it. I wonder if Dixon is nursing a broken heart. My own heart clenches at the thought of someone hurting him.
Ma’s voice pulls me out of my intense thoughts. “You’ll need to ask Dixon the questions you are looking for. My advice to you is not to make any assumptions where that boy is concerned. You assume the divorce was easy on him, but it wasn’t. That’s all I will say. You go to him for answers, if that’s what you’re looking for. If not, leave him be. He’s been through enough.” She nods her head. “Okay, kiddos, let’s get going,” she says to Macy and Jaden, who pop out of their seats and head for the front door.
“Thanks for talking to me,” I call out, and she waves her hand.
I look over to Grant, who is just about finishing up. We get to school and I drop Grant off at his classroom next to the one I teach in. Then I prepare for another full day of kindergarten. I’m thankful to at least have a job I enjoy. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted as usual. It’s a rewarding job, but it is definitely draining. I go through my usual routine of picking up Grant. I bump into Dick and give him a curt hello. Discussing dinner plans or having one of the mothers find out where I am living would be social and professional suicide wrapped into one. The only one who does know is Jenna, and I’m sure she’ll keep the secret … even though she thinks it’s a colossally horrible idea.
We return to the apartment. Dixon and the kids are already in the playroom, and Dixon is on the floor helping Jaden build one of his Star Wars Lego sets. He really is an invested father. Blythe never gave Grant the time of day. It makes me feel like I failed him for not finding a more suitable father. Given my history, I sometimes question my entire decision-making capability. Grant runs into the playroom and takes a seat in front of Dixon.
“Hey, Grant, do you want to build with us?” he asks. Grant nods his head excitedly, and the boys get to building.
Macy wanders over to me. “Can we play?” she asks.
“Macy, Eden is probably tired from work,” Dixon cuts in.
“No. I’m fine.” I wave him off. “I would love to do something. What do you have in mind?” I lean forward.
Macy guides me to her room where she has an oversized Barbie house and way too many Barbies to count. We spend a good hour playing Barbie before Ma calls us all to the kitchen for dinner.
Tonight is chicken Parmesan night. The kids dig in and so do the adults. We all go around discussing our day as we did last night. There’s a lot of chatter around the table. The conversation is lively, and Grant is happy. There is no direct conversation between Dixon and me, though, and I can sense the tension.
It’s already seven o’clock when Dixon suggests a movie.
“Actually, I was thinking it’s probably better to have baths and read a book. I could read everyone a book together,” I suggest. “It’s just that Grant is usually in bed by eight o’clock. He needs his prince charming rest or else it’s hard for him to wake up in the morning. Last night was a late night …” I continue to explain, but the kids cut me off.
“Yay! Story time,” Jaden yells.
“I’ll clean up. You go ahead.” Ma nods to me. Her eyes seem warm, which is reassuring because she seemed a little agitated with me this morning. She gives Dixon a knowing look and blinks her eyes. I wonder what that’s about.
“Okay, bath time, then,” I call out, and all three kids run to their rooms. I’m not even sure what’s happening.
“Jaden takes a shower. Macy takes a bath,” Dixon explains from behind me.
“Oh, okay.” The boys are already undressing in Jaden’s room. “I can watch the boys in here and help them out if you want to bathe Macy?” I offer.
“Thanks, that’s perfect. Jaden washes his own hair. He just needs help getting the soap out after,” Dixon goes on to explain.
“Yeah, sure,” I reply and smile. I follow the boys into the bathroom and turn on the hot water and wait while they take turns showering.
After showering, Grant and I walk back into Jaden’s room. Macy walks over, wearing a princess nightgown, sucking her thumb. I hop on Jaden’s bed, and all three kids gather around me.
“I’ll go get them something to drink. What does Grant like?” Dixon asks.
I look over to Grant. “Milk, please.” He smiles at Dixon.
“Sure thing, bud.” Dixon nods. Grant’s eyes are practically glowing with happiness, and my heart clenches. I don’t want him getting too used to
staying here. This was never meant as a permanent fix, only a stepping stone.
I begin to read the book ROAR by Robert Munsch. Grant is familiar with the story, so he yells out some words along with me. Eventually Jaden and Macy begin to yell out too. After ROAR, we move on to Pinkalicious Tooth Fairy. I had Macy in mind for that one. She sits in my lap and watches the pictures intently. Last, I read The Little Engine that Could. It’s a classic that Grant and I never tire of. By the time the story has ended, all three children are yawning and look droopy eyed. Dixon has taken a seat at the edge of the bed and has been quietly watching us.
The kids finish their milk.
“Daddy, can Grant sleep in here again?” Jaden asks.
“You have to ask Grant’s mommy,” he replies.
He looks over to me, and so does Grant. I can see that he really wants this.
“Sure he can,” I reply and the boys cheer.
“I want to sleep here too, Daddy,” Macy says with a frown.
“Okay, boys. You need to make room for Macy too. She is sleeping in the middle so that she doesn’t fall out,” Dixon says, plopping her down in the middle of the bed. He pulls the covers up on one side, and I pull the covers up on the other. Then I lean in to give Grant a kiss.
“Can I have one too?” Macy suddenly asks, and I notice Dixon’s eyes on me. I can’t read his expression though.
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