by H. D. Gordon
“Good to see you, Father,” she said.
His fingers brushed over hers. “And you, my child. Come, have a seat near me.” He gestured to the armchair nearest his, the place his wife Sharon usually took for these meetings. Fae sat down as directed, wondering if it was Sharon who had done something wrong not to be here right now, or if it was Fae who had done something right.
If it was right, why did it feel so wrong? Why does it still feel wrong?
Bad thoughts. She had to make them go away. She busied herself with watching the others file into the room and give greetings to Father. But it seemed even her observation was different, her perception somehow altered, effected. She’d watched others greet Father all her life, and it had always seemed normal to her, but now, watching the way each member waited, stepped up, kissed his hand and walked away, it seemed…robotic. As if they were a bunch of automaton’s lining up for duty.
It seems wrong. That’s what it seems like. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
“First, thank y’all for coming,” Father began, mercifully drawing Fae’s attention. “I know the days are long and we work hard, so I appreciate y’all going the extra mile to visit me when I ask.”
The others were nodding. Fae followed suit. If she couldn’t remember how to behave right now, it was best to just mimic what she saw. She really needed to get it together. Especially because of the look Dorie had flashed her when Father had offered Fae Sharon’s chair just a moment ago. Dorie would be watching her now, waiting to report any strange behavior or slip-up. Dorie Dunham was always watching.
Father sighed and rubbed his chin. “These are dark times, children,” he said. “I hate to have to tell you that, but I could never lie to you, especially because our way of life is at risk—hell, maybe even our lives, and you deserve to know it.”
Father paused, staring around the room at all of them. They sat at rapt attention, silent.
“Some of you are newer to the family than others,” Father continued, “and it’s you I worry about the most. Tell me, Kayla, Anna, Troy, Beth…are you happy here at the Ranch? Do you believe in the work we do and the way we live?”
The four newer members all nodded immediately, their responses sounding in unison. “Yes, Father.”
Fae saw Father’s eyes snap to Kayla, and felt oddly sorry for the girl she’d recruited six months ago, even though she knew she’d been doing Kayla a favor by bringing her into the Family. At least, she’d always thought she’d been doing others favors when she brought them into the Family. All of a sudden she wasn’t so sure. As she took in the way Father’s tongue struck out over his lips as he looked at Kayla, she was even less sure.
“Kayla,” Father said, “Have you made any contact with your brother? The one who came into Sunday service a few months back and made all those preposterous accusations and dirty insults?”
Kayla’s eyes grew wide. She shook her head fervently. “Not at all, Father. You said it wouldn’t be best, so I haven’t spoken to him at all. I’ve made no contact. I know it’s best if he opens his eyes to the Lord and our ways first.”
Well, Fae thought, at least she’s a quick study.
Father watched Kayla in narrow-eyed silence for several heartbeats before nodding slowly. “Good,” he said. “What’s not good is there’s a group of outsiders—recruits of the government, no doubt, that are trying to get permission to come in and persecute us for the way we live together and work together in peace. They want what we have, and this is their first ploy to try and take it from us.” He paused, dark eyes flashing around the room. “We are in dark times, my children.”
Everyone was silent, eyes wide and locked on their leader. After a long moment, Kayla said, “Well, we don’t have to let them in, do we, Father? This place is private property, right?”
Father smiled slowly, as though Kayla were a child who had just said something cute. “No, we don’t have to let them in, dear. But, since we don’t have anything to hide, I’m allowing one of them to come tomorrow at noon. She’s a reporter for the Kansas City Sun, a paper pusher, no doubt, looking for stories where none exist.”
Beth chimed in. She was a quiet, overweight young lady of about twenty-five, with a face full of leftover acne scars. She’d been with the Family for over a year now, but Father hadn’t taken particular interest in her.
Looking at Beth now, Fae thought, Of course he didn’t take much interest in her, and wished her own mind would just shut up.
“I’m sorry, Father,” Beth said. “But what does this reporter have to do with us? We would never speak a word against you or the church.” She glanced around at the others, who were nodding their agreement. “We love it here.”
Father’s eyes pinned Beth now, and Fae thought the poor girl should have just kept her mouth shut. “Troy and Kayla,” he said, his eyes still locked on Beth, “if this reporter asks you how things are here, is that what you’ll say? That you love it and want to be here?”
Both Troy and Kayla answered immediately. “Yes, Father.”
“Good,” his gaze finally released Beth and he smiled sweetly at Troy and Kayla. “Then go back to your quarters and get some rest. I’m sure you’re tired after such a long day. Rest easy, my children.”
Kayla and Troy both kissed Father’s hand before leaving. That left just Dorie, Anna, Beth and Fae in the room.
“Now, my children” Father said, “we have some other issues that have to be dealt with.”
The hair on the back of Fae’s neck stood on end as he said this, and as she looked around at the other women in the room, she could tell she was not the only one. Fae knew the tone Father had just used well. It was the one he used when someone was about to be punished.
“One of you came to me in a drunken state the other night and tried to make me commit adultery against my beloved wife,” Father said, his upper lip curling up in disgust. “You threw yourself at me the way that evil temptress Eve threw herself at Adam, and I need you to step forward now and admit your sins to me and the other Family members in this room. You need to step forward so your soul can be purged of its darkness.”
Now Fae’s heart was beating out of her chest, and for every second of the long, silent moment that followed Father’s words seemed only to increase its rate. She swallowed hard, wondering who he was talking about. She was just coming to the conclusion that it was her when Father’s eyes snapped to Anna, the twenty-one year old, pretty brunette who had been with the Family for almost a year now.
“Step forward and admit your sins,” Father said, a bit of spittle flying from his lip.
Even though she knew what was coming, had witnessed it on several occasions, in fact, Fae didn’t feel bad for the girl as Anna stood from her position on the couch across from them and made her way over to Father, kneeling in front of him. Anna looked scared and apprehensive, which she very well should, for throwing herself at Father in such a lowly way. This was something Fae knew Father had to deal with all the time from the women Family members, and it really wasn’t fair for him to have to constantly fight off their sexual advances. If Anna had done that, then she deserved to be punished.
So, for the next twenty minutes, that’s what happened. Father berated Anna, so did Dorie, and after a glance from Father, Beth even joined in. Of course, Fae participated as well, calling Anna a dirty whore, which earned her a hearty laugh and a slap on the back from Father. They threw insults of all kinds at her, telling her how worthless and disgusting she was, and Anna stayed in her kneeled position in front of Father the whole time, sobbing and apologizing over and over.
Finally, Father called that part of the punishment to an end, and it took Fae more effort than usual to keep her face blank as he turned to look at her. He jerked his head toward Anna, who sat before him with tears streaking down her face and snot dripping out of her nose. “Slap her, little bird,” he said.
Fae didn’t hesitate. After all, this wasn’t her first rodeo. She spared Anna no force as her hand swung back and her p
alm connected hard with Anna’s face, making her head whip to the side. Fae’s hand stung from the force of it.
On the side where Fae had slapped her, Anna’s face was bright red. That’s what you get, Fae thought, for throwing yourself at Father like that.
Ah, now she was thinking clearly again. Finally. Back to normal. No more blasphemous bad thoughts.
After that, Father dismissed Beth and Anna, leaving only Dorie, Fae and him still in the room. Fae wondered why the more the number of people in the room increased, her anxiety seemed to increase. Maybe she wasn’t totally back to normal. Maybe she should go ahead and confess her sins to Father, so that he could make her confusion go away.
When his hand fell on her thigh, she was ripped from her thoughts. “You go on to bed now, little bird,” he told her. “Dorie and I have some things to discuss.”
For some reason, Fae felt a weight fall off her shoulders, and it took her a moment to realize she was relieved. The only question was, why?
Because you won’t be the last one in the room with him…
The relief was short-lived. When she went to kiss his cheek goodnight, his lips close to her ear, he whispered, “I’m going to come visit you in an hour, little bird. I have something to give you. Wait for me?”
Fae felt her head nodding, but her heart seemed to have stopped in her chest. Her voice sounded far away from her own ears as she said, “Of course, Father.”
And then she headed back to her room. Fae shared the quarters with two other women, and Marty, a young black women who’d been addicted to heroin when she first came to the Ranch, was still awake. Marty sat up in her bed when she took in what must have been the pale state of Fae’s face.
“Hey, girl,” Marty said. “You okay?”
Well, now that was the million dollar question. No, Fae realized, she was not okay. Father was coming soon to “give her something”, and she didn’t want it. She might not be able to make any sense of what she was feeling, but she knew that. She knew she didn’t want to repeat what had happened in his office yesterday. The memory of last time was still more than strong enough.
She made a decision then, which was something she didn’t have much experience in doing. It made her heart race and her palms sweat, but she couldn’t imagine the consequences being worse than the alternative.
She would find she was wrong about that.
When Father came by her room later to look for her, Marty told him that Fae had gone to the infirmary, which was two buildings over, because she seemed to have some kind of stomach flu. If she’d been able to see Father’s face after he smiled and bid Marty good night, Fae would have known immediately that everything would’ve been easier if she would have just let him give her his “something”.
No less painful, but easier.
Chapter 27
Joe
“I have something for you,” Michael whispered, his cheeks turning just a touch pink as he smiled over at me. “But you can’t have it until later.”
I felt my lips turn up and snuck a look at him under my lashes. “Okay,” I said.
We were sitting on my couch in my living room, and Mr. Landry was in my kitchen with Kyle, preparing the hot tea the old man always insisted on. He felt the chamomile helped to calm the nerves, and for obvious reasons, that was something all of us could probably use at the moment. Especially me.
When Kyle and Mr. Landry joined us in the living room a moment later and handed me a cup of the steaming liquid, I took it gratefully. I had a lot going on in my mind, even more than one might think. Essentially, I had to sit here and come up with two different, viable plans; a plan involving Mr. Landry, Michael and Kyle, and the real plan, the one involving only myself. And I had until six o’clock that evening to figure that second one out. I needed to be as ready as possible before my dinner date with the reverend tonight, because a feeling in my gut was telling me it would mark my point of no return, and if there was one thing I trusted in this world, it was my gut.
Now, I’d lain awake for hours last night thinking about all of this, and my reasons for coming to the conclusion that this was a solo mission were numerous, and some more practical than would be assumed. Obviously, I loved all three of the men in the room with me, and didn’t want to see them get hurt, but also, from what I’d learned in my brief but intense study of cults, I needed to walk into this situation with the mindset that I could trust no one. I couldn’t be sure of what was going on at that ranch, exactly, but I knew it would be a silently hostile environment, a field of tall grasses and serpents, a place for zero weakness. After a night of much thought, I’d been able to pinpoint my biggest weaknesses.
Looking around the room now at the old man, the guy who was one of my oldest friends, and the young man I was falling in love with, I knew my conclusion was correct. They were my biggest weaknesses, and there was no place for them in this mission.
The hard part would be keeping all of these things from Mr. Landry, who seemed rather fond of rummaging through my thoughts as of late whenever he felt the need. I wasn’t annoyed at this, because I knew he was only trying to protect me, and being that my biological father was a certified psychopath, I didn’t take for granted the fatherly love Mr. Landry had for me. It just made things a bit more difficult at the current moment.
But, I had a plan for this too, and by the way Mr. Landry’s cheeks grew pink and his eyes averted, I thought it was working. It was rather simple. If I didn’t want him in my head, I just had to think about things he didn’t particularly want to hear about. The obvious choice: my evolving relationship with Michael. As I looked at the old man now, sitting in the armchair across from me and staring down into his teacup as if the winning lottery numbers were in its depths, I couldn’t help but feel a touch pleased at my cleverness.
Kyle was the first to speak. He still looked as ragged as he had the other day, clearly not getting enough sleep, which made two of us. He ran a hand down his face. “Okay,” he said, “First things first. Joe, do you have any idea when this…thing is going to happen? A timeline of any sort for us?”
I shook my head. “There’s nuh-no way to b-be sure,” I said, lifting my shoulders. “A week, guh-give or take a duh-day or two.”
“Do you know where it will happen?” Kyle asked.
Both Mr. Landry and Michael answered simultaneously. “The church,” they said. Kyle looked to me, and I nodded in agreement. Even if Mr. Landry couldn’t read minds, there would have been no point in lying about that. They’d seen my drawing and they’d been to the church. The location of the impending carnage had been unmistakable.
Kyle let out a shaky breath and rubbed his hands together. “Okay…okay, well at least we know the place. I wish we knew the day and time.”
“I-I’m sorry,” I said. “It duh-doesn’t work that way. Wuh-when it’s uh-about to huh-happen, I’ll know.”
Kyle gave me an apologetic look. “Don’t be sorry. None of this is your fault.”
And from there we launched into logistics and tossed around ideas, hoping for one to stick. Michael asked Kyle if he had gone to the police about getting Kayla out, and of course, Kyle had. Since Kayla was an adult, and wasn’t technically being held against her will, the authorities said they couldn’t go into the private property and make her leave. As far as appearances went, the church’s seemed not to be breaking any laws, so the police were no help in this matter.
“When cults were really big back in the seventies,” Michael said, “I read that there were people that families of cult members paid to go in and basically kidnap their loved one and get them out of these compounds, like a retired special ops guy, or something.”
Mr. Landry ran his hand over his short military-style hair. “Well, I don’t know about you, but all the guys I knew who were capable of something like that are dead and gone, or just about, anyway.” He gave Michael one of his rare half smiles. “What about you?”
A slightly sheepish look came over Michael’s face, and he shook h
is head. More ideas, some more improbable, some less so, were tossed around between the four of us until my stomach started to grumble. We had spent the whole morning trying to come up with the best plan of action, and after three hours, among the best things we could come up with was ironically Michael’s idea about the special ops guy, and using the internet to find one. I vehemently disagreed with this, and after hearing my argument about how risky finding someone through that venue was, the others had to agree.
Of course, I couldn’t tell them that I was our special ops guy. This thought was as ridiculous as it was scary, but nonetheless true.
Around one o’clock in the afternoon, Mr. Landry called our meeting to an end. Kyle was obviously not happy about our progression, but he had to be at work in two hours anyway, so he left without protest after I promised him for what seemed like the millionth time that we would figure this thing out and get Kayla out of there. From the way he looked at me though, I could tell he was losing patience. It was a good thing I was going in tonight.