by Jenesi Ash
Her blurry gaze skittered across the landscape. Something caught her eye. A flock of birds or…?
Every muscle locked as her gaze rested against an office window. A middle-aged man stared back at her in shocked fascination. His hands were in his jeans, stroking and tugging.
Sahib collapsed against her, his sweat slick body surrounding her with heat. It didn’t reach the cold clammy fear that left her shaking as she slithered to the floor.
Chapter Seven
Feeling his gaze on her, Belinda burrowed deeper into the couch and folded her legs close against her. She turned and glared at him. He was stretched out against the chair, looking refreshed and replete. She wanted to slap the very masculine smile off his face.
“Not talking to me, Noukrani? You know that’s very childish.”
“Shut up.”
The pause took a dangerous edge. “What did you say?”
“You heard me.” Belinda didn’t care about the perilous situation she was getting herself into. She experienced the worst of it. “I said shut up.”
“If you are trying to be punished,” Sahib responded in a patient tone, “you are going to be sorely disappointed because I refuse to indulge you.”
“No.” Belinda snarled. “I’m saying shut up because that’s exactly what I mean. I’ve never been so humiliated in all my life. Is that what you wanted all along? Humiliate me to salve your pride?”
“You were not humiliated. The idea of being seen scared and excited you. You were seen at your most vulnerable and now you’re angry about it.”
“Bullshit.”
Sahib shrugged.
“I hate you.” She spat the word out.
For a moment he looked weary and alone. He wiped his face with a tired hand and the look was replaced with strained patience. “Yeah, you probably do right now. It’s simpler for you to direct all your anger on me.”
“Simpler?” The man didn’t have the decency to say he was sorry. “It’s logical. You put me in that situation.”
“You wanted that situation, and you can’t seem to handle it. You’ve worked so hard to be invulnerable that your mind is screaming for moments of susceptibility.”
Was she supposed to fall down to her knees and thank him? The unbelievable arrogance of the man! “Right now the only thing screaming is my instinct.”
“And what is it saying?”
“Revenge.” She savored the word.
That got Sahib’s notice. “Does it really?”
“Yes,” she responded through clenched teeth.
He thought about it for a moment, assessing her anger. Sahib nodded slowly. “Perhaps revenge is necessary.”
Belinda studied him with open suspicion. “What kind of trick is this? Now you’re saying I have a right to be angry.”
“You always had the right. I’m saying that if you think you deserve retribution, then so be it.”
“Oh, thank you so much for your permission.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm.
His eyebrows rose in a silent warning. “In case you forgotten, you need that according to our agreement.”
“Screw our agreement. All I’ve heard from you is demands to reveal, expose, and show.” She glared at him, her roiling emotions burning through her eyes. “Now it’s your turn.”
“Go for it.”
* * * * *
Amir was definitely curious. Noukrani wanted to take charge. Take control. Of course, she would get drunk with power. And that is exactly what she needed. She needed to follow her emotions just once.
“Stand up.” Noukrani ordered.
Amir unfolded from the chair and stood toe to toe with Noukrani. The fire in her blue eyes stirred his lust. He did his best at hiding a smirk.
“Strip.”
Amir undid the buttons of his shirt one by one. He wasn’t blatant by mimicking a stripper. He drew her attention with his straightforward gestures. He took off his clothes like a man would do privately in front of his love. He removed his shirt and shrouded them in intimacy.
He shucked off his trousers and was naked as she. His arousal brushed against her stomach. Knowing they would finally meet skin against skin excited him.
Noukrani cleared her throat. “Sit.”
He followed her order, fighting the instinct to pull her down with him.
“Not going to tie me up?” he taunted as she nibbled her mouth with indecision. He’ll gladly offer guidance as the heady power intimidated her.
His brand of guidance had the desired effect. Her eyes flashed with annoyance. “You were not given permission to talk.” With a quick, brash move, Noukrani straddled him. His arousal was now standing to attention as she bent her knees deep into his flanks. Her breasts were at eye level. The gold necklace winked at him, he was certain. He licked his lips in anticipation and smugly watched her blush from the chest up.
“Keep your hands on the armrests.”
The entire time? He wasn’t sure if he could, but her ‘punishment’ might be worthwhile.
She leaned down, clouding him with her essence and the faintest hint of Chanel No. 5. “Kiss me.”
He moved forward, parched for her kisses. He almost captured her mouth, nipping the pouty lower lip. She pulled back, slowly dragging away her plush lip from his clutches.
“Kiss me,” she repeated, a smile skittering across her mouth as he tried. Their lips brushed before she slid her mouth away. He moved to follow.
“Uh, uh, uh.” She shook her finger under his nose.
Amir growled. He wanted them mouth to mouth, chest to breast. The teasing made him rock hard. Noukrani knew this, squirming against his penis already distended and stretched.
“Kiss me,” she barely said, settling her mouth on his. She thrust her tongue into his waiting mouth. Amir hungrily tasted her. She explored every curve and crevice of his mouth. They dueled tongue to tongue as she pushed deeper into his mouth. He wanted to cradle her head and slam his tongue into her.
When Noukrani yanked her head away, they both gulped for air. Their eyes met. Amir’s heart swelled with hope as he discovered the tenderness peeking through the lust and power. Her blue eyes were wide and then she slowly scowled. Noukrani straightened her spine, offering her breasts.
She fondled her nipples and stroked the curves just the way he wanted to. Her breasts overflowed her delicate hands. “Do you want to touch me?”
Was that a rhetorical question? “Yes.” He reached for her with splayed, needy fingers.
She reared back and tsked. “No, no, no. I didn’t tell you to touch me. Put your hands back.”
He reluctantly complied, but his patience was wearing thin. He set his jaw and conveyed his attitude in silence. His bad mood seemed to give Noukrani more confidence.
“I asked if you wanted to touch me.” She tucked her hands under her breasts and lifted them. “Do you want to fondle me?” she asked with pseudo-innocence as her fingertips circled the dusky aureoles. “Or grab?” She grabbed her breasts, marring the pale skin with dark pink splotches. Amir was tempted to soothe the marks away with kisses.
Her fingers pulled together at her tight nipples. “Do you want to pluck me like this?” She tossed her head back and hummed with pleasure as she stroke the hard nubs. “Or pinch them– aah!” She cried from the sting. Hell, he was stinging, too.
“Would you like to?”
Amir swallowed. Blood pounded in his pelvis. “Yes.”
“Would you like to taste my breasts?” Noukrani leaned forward and brushed her redden nipples against his open mouth.
Amir shuddered as he fought the urge to clamp his mouth on her.
“Swirl your tongue against my nipple?” She guided her nipple around his lips in a teasing circular motion. “Flatten your tongue against it? Lick my breasts?”
“Yes.” His voice was raw.
She placed the tip of her breast against the slit of her mouth and she hastily drew back. “Oh…too bad.” She pouted with regret. “That’s not part of the plan.”
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He closed his eyes, drawing the last of his reserves. “What is?”
“This.” Her hands grabbed for his penis. She gripped him tightly and roughly sheathed him with her drenched core. He winced, grappling for the last of his legendary control. His ragged breath trapped and expanded in his chest. He raised his hips to meet her.
“No. Don’t move.” She swiveled her hips and he wanted to roar like a tiger. Hell knows he wanted to pounce her. He clawed the armchair, wanting to sink his fingers in her bottom. Wanting to throw her on her back and possess her entirely.
She rode him slowly, rubbing her breasts and maintaining eye contact, wanting him to stare at her jiggling breasts in front of his face. He got harder and larger. Her hips twist and wiggled. Amir thought he was going to come immediately.
Noukrani gave him a knowing smile, but her eyes were glazed with passion. “Don’t come.” Her words were slurred. “Not until I say so.”
Amir focused on his slipping control. He stared at the gold necklace and was faced with the distorted image of his ferocious expression.
She tossed her head back. Her silvery hair rippled across her shoulders. “Touch my breasts.”
Amir hesitated. Sweat trickled down his back. It was the one thing he wanted the most. He would die if he didn’t touch her. But once he did, he would come.
She held onto the chair and leaned further away from him, yet accepting more of him inside. “Touch them.”
He grabbed them, welcoming the soft heaviness in his eager palms. Frissions of pleasure rippled from his hands to his arms. His hot testicles crawled into his abdomen, ready to explode.
“Suck them,” she groaned, tossing her head side to side. “Bite them. Taste…eat.”
He devoured her breasts with an insatiability that disturbed him. His hands, mouth, teeth, and tongue ravished her with abandon. Amir tore at her nipples until she mewled with pleasure.
“I love that,” she chanted. “Oh, God, I love your hands on me. I love –.” She pressed her lips together and looked away. For just a brief moment before she determinedly plowed her bottom into him. He bit her nipple, trapping it between his teeth as he vainly tried to hold onto the pleasure. It was too much. He gripped her breasts as he came with a roar.
The orgasm sent him out of his chair. He drove into her, the chair tumbling back with a crash. He grabbed her hips as she tumbled back, sheathing her to the hilt, farther than he’d ever been.
Noukrani grabbed his head and pulled his face against hers. She slathered kisses across his mouth, crying out as she came. A series of small convulsions washed through her until she collapsed against him.
Amir held her close, cradling her head into her shoulder. His heart pounded crazily. Their uneven breaths mingled as one.
Noukrani stirred. “Why do I get the feeling that you were in charge just now?” she complained in a exhausted murmur.
Amir shrugged. She had been too emotional to take charge, but he wasn’t going to tell her that.
Noukrani persisted. “Yet you pretended that I was in command.”
He caressed her glistening back with tenderness. The lulling sensation wouldn’t tame Noukrani, but it might unruffled her pride. “You were in command because it was what you needed.”
“And you would sacrifice all when I’m in need?”
Amir didn’t break the rhythm of his strokes, but his heart did a triple beat. He couldn’t mess this up and he couldn’t scare her off. He had to say it simply. He looked straight ahead and simply said, “I would never abandon you.”
He heard Noukrani’s breath hitch in her throat. Amir stroked her back while his heart forgot to beat. He willed his muscles to relax, knowing she would pull away.
Noukrani cuddled closer into his chest and sighed.
Amir closed his eyes. He slowly exhaled as his heart beat faster.
* * * * *
Belinda stared at the moon. She knew it had to be said, but she didn’t want to be the one to say it. She took an incredibly long time to dress, but there was nothing more to do but say goodbye. Taking a calming breath and ignoring her sinking heart, she turned to face Sahib. She stuttered into silence when she realized he had been watching her the entire time.
She indicated to the moon with the jerk of her head. “The weekend is over.”
Sahib nodded. “And therefore our agreement is over.” He didn’t move from where he stood.
The silence made her feel awkward. She fiddled with her necklace. Sahib’s attention wandered to the movement. He frowned before looking away.
His uncharacteristic gesture stilled her fingers. But then he looked up, his face emotionless. “Let me help you remove that,” he said, moving forward.
She didn’t want to give it up. She didn’t want to go. But to follow the instinct would be foolish. She only felt this way because she was with Sahib. She would feel differently when she was out of his life.
“Thank you,” she muttered, turning around and lifting her hair off her neck.
Within the flick of his hand, the jewelry sagged from her neck. She caught it and clutched it to her chest. Her throat felt naked. Alone.
Belinda turned around, her eyes on the necklace. She watched herself deposit the gold jewelry in his hand.
Tears burned the back of her eyes. “Goodbye, Sahib.”
Amir was silent. She looked up.
“Goodbye, Belinda.”
Her given name punctured her heart. Her throat squeezed shut. She gave a curt nod and clumsily reached for the door. Swinging the door open, she hurried out of the suite. She didn’t feel free, but rather doomed. Doomed for a life of disappointment and lack of dreams. A life without Amir Khan.
Despair squeezed her lungs. She felt the choking sobs rising from her chest. It was only through sheer will that Belinda tampered down the need to wail. She furiously blinked back the tears as she tried to put one foot in front of the other.
Don’t be a fool, Belinda thought with self-disgust. No tears. You’ve got more than you hoped for. You got an extra weekend with Sahib.
Only he’s not Sahib anymore. Not to her. She was acutely aware of the missing choker. She felt bereft. Cast aside. But it didn’t make sense. She made the choice to end it.
She stabbed the call button of the elevator, her pride welling up and refusing to look at the door to Amir’s hotel suite. She fulfilled their agreement. She met every challenge and threw a few of her own in the process. There was no looking back.
Why did she only feel powerful when she acted as a submissive? Why was consenting to act as a sex slave such a liberating experience to her?
Was it because she had a special power over Sahib? That she could watch him shudder with slipping control. The ancient feminine knowledge would lick her blood when she saw that look in his brown eyes. That hopeful desperation that only she could give him what he needed – if she chose to obey.
Belinda sighed deeply, wracking her slender body. If only she could enjoy the same empowering submission in all areas of her life. Why was it she could only feel totally alive while making love with Sahib?
Because she was in love with him.
But he didn’t love her. At least not enough to fight and keep her.
The elevator opened with a swish and she stepped in. Only when the door slid shut did she lean heavily against the wall, allowing her tears to fall.
Chapter Eight
Two days later she received a handwritten letter from Amir. With quick short movements, Belinda opened the thick cream envelope.
“Circumstances have changed our situation and I must speak with you immediately.”
The paper fell to her desktop. She stared at the ink slashes and strokes. Her instincts screamed for her to run to his office and submit. Instead she took a deep breath and considered her alternatives.
Her hands shook as she followed the words with her finger. Yep. That’s what the letter said. She wasn’t imagining it.
Her heart sang with the knowledge that he wanted
to see her again. Her mind silenced her stupid heart.
She had to think of the facts. She was free of him. She didn’t need to see him again. She fulfilled her contract. That hadn’t changed.
Belinda looked at the letter again. Her fingers absently crinkled the edge. She stared at his name. It was simply signed ‘Amir’.
Not ‘Amir Khan’. Not ‘Sahib’. ‘Amir’.
She needed to find out what he needed. Let him be the one in need.
No! What was she thinking? He exposed every one of her facets except one. No matter how much power he had, he couldn’t force it from her. Because she wouldn’t let him. And she wouldn’t let him use her love as a weapon.
* * * * *
Amir rose from his desk and buttoned his dark suit jacket with elegant precision. “Belinda.”
“Don’t Belinda me,” she answered as she stopped in the middle of the room. She wasn’t going to let him get close to her, and she certainly wouldn’t let him get between her and the door. “And don’t start changing our agreement.”
He smiled, one end of his mouth kicking up in a wicked slant. Belinda discouraged the smoky seductive tendrils wrapping around her body. “You seem out of sorts. I apologize if my note disturbed you.”
“Disturbed me?” She planted her fists on her hips. “It pissed me off.”
“And why is that?” He walked away from his desk.
She warily watched him approach and calculated when would be a good time to step back. “I am not at your beck and call anymore. That part of our relationship is over.”
“I see.” He paused by the set of chairs next to his desk. “Would you be interested in being at someone else’s beck and call?”
Her chin dipped down. “What are you talking about?”
“Realizing you don’t know anything about the BDSM community in St. Louis, and also realizing that your disposition craves D/s sex, I was going to recommend a friend of mine.”