by Amber Garza
I was assuming that was the end of our conversation. Honestly, I figured he’d need to return to whatever it was he was doing tonight. Therefore, I was surprised when the phone went off again.
Holden: What R U doing?
Glancing around my room, my gaze lit on my instrument, on my desk and computer, then back at my bed. I wondered how lame it would sound if I admitted I was sitting alone in my bedroom getting ready to practice my instrument. As quickly as the thought entered, I chastised myself. It was the truth, and I needed to own up to it. If Holden didn’t like me for who I was, then I didn’t want to see him anyway. I’d never made excuses for myself, and I wouldn’t start now.
Me: Just hanging out at home.
Holden: Me too.
This surprised me.
Holden: Mom wants to watch some chick flick. My stepdad doesn’t want to, so she roped me into it.
This downright shocked me. Holden Reece, star quarterback of the best football team around, was hanging out at home watching a movie with his mom on Saturday night. Man, I felt like I’d seriously misjudged him. Remembering my conversation with Jasmine and Gianna, I realized that everyone had.
Me: How did she rope you into it? Blackmail? Threaten punishment?
Holden: She asked.
I sat still a moment, pondering this. It was only two words, and yet they held so much meaning.
Me: That’s it? And you said yes?
Holden: Yep.
My mom once told me that you could tell a lot about a boy by how he treated his mother. When Ethan and I broke up, I remember wishing I’d listened. He was always bad-mouthing his mom, always acting out and talking back. At the time I’d told myself it was normal. Weren’t all teenagers rebellious? But even then I knew that wasn’t right. I didn’t act like that. And there was something refreshing about meeting a boy who wasn’t like Ethan at all.
A boy who was more like me.
And it made me wonder if Holden and I were more alike than either of us even realized.
Holden was already in the spa when I arrived on Sunday, and apprehension tugged at me. I paused at the edge of the spa as if scared to step inside. It wasn’t like it was the first time we’d been in here together. But it was the first time it had been planned. Almost like it was a date. Seriously, a date with Holden Reece was not a bad thing. It was actually a good thing. A very good thing. But it also made my head spin with possibilities and questions.
As if noticing my reluctance, Holden threw me an easy smile and gentle nod. Taking a deep breath, I willed my brain to slow down. Not an easy task for me. Overthinking was what I was good at. It also hindered me sometimes. However, I wouldn’t let it hinder me today.
I pushed my lips into a grin. “Looks like you got a head start.”
“Not much of one. Just got in a couple of minutes ago.”
“Punctual. I like it.” Reaching for the railing, I held onto it as I stepped down the stairs. Usually I didn’t bother with the railing, but Holden’s proximity was making my legs a little unsteady. They shook slightly as I made my way into the spa. When I glanced down, I cringed as I noticed the fat on my legs jiggling with every motion. Maybe I should’ve been more like Mom and taken working out seriously. I’d never been the thinnest girl in the world. Big boned. Not fat. That’s what my dad had always told me. And for the most part, I’d embraced that. I knew I wasn’t built petite and small boned like my mom. I took after my dad’s side of the family in my looks. And I was okay with that. I mean, curves weren’t a bad thing. Over the years my thin friends were usually pretty jealous of them, in fact. Especially when I was the first one of all my friends to wear a bra. I was definitely the only girl drawing open-mouthed stares from all the boys at our sixth grade pool party. But for some reason today I felt self-conscience of my body. Holden didn’t have an ounce of fat on him. He was all lean with large, defined muscles. And I’d seen enough of the Gold Rush cheerleaders to know that skinny was the name of the game on the squad. Even Jazzy and Gigi were rail thin. For the first time in forever I found myself wanting to hide my curves, to slip under the water where my body would be obscured.
When I’d bought this black bikini, I knew a one-piece would probably be a better choice. I wasn’t exactly built for an itty-bitty bikini. But all the one-piece suits looked like they were made for Olympic swimmers or old ladies, and I couldn’t bring myself to buy one. You only live once, right? And this is the suit I liked, so I bought it. Now I was wondering if I’d made a mistake. In this suit I was on full display. It was unforgiving, exposing all my troubled spots.
“You know that a lot of old people hang out in the spa, right?” Holden said, cutting into my thoughts.
I sank further into the water, sitting across from him. When I glanced around, I raised my eyebrows. “There’s no one but us in here.”
“I know, but usually this place is crawling with old guys.”
I chuckled at his description. “Does that make you uncomfortable?”
“No.” He shook his head, his eyes traveling down my body. “But it’s not me I’m worried about. I’m young. I have a strong heart.”
Huh? Confused would be an understatement. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m just worried you’re gonna give one those old guys a freakin’ heart attack coming in this spa looking like that.”
“Is that your way of saying I look good?” I tossed it out like a nonchalant statement, but deep down I knew that I needed to hear him say it.
“Nah, you don’t look good.” His words were like a sucker punch. “You look hot.”
Relief swept over me. “Hot” wasn’t usually a word guys used to describe me. Normally I was called “cute,” and sometimes “pretty.” I always assumed “hot” was reserved for the popular girls, the girls that were deemed untouchable, girls that guys put up on a pedestal. I was the approachable girl. The one who was easy to talk to, who was outgoing and fun. Often I’d been friend-zoned early in relationships. There were times I even wondered if people knew I wasn’t one of the guys. Thinking back on it, I didn’t think Ethan ever called me hot. I do remember overhearing him talk about Candace Miller to his friends and saying she was hot. Not that I was surprised. Everyone thought she was hot, including Candace herself.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, my cheeks warming.
“I should be the one thanking you.” Holden winked.
He was smooth. Flirting clearly came easily to him. I shifted in my seat. If he kept talking like this, I’d end up losing my head. I didn’t want to be sucked in by one-liners. I wanted to get to know Holden. When he talked like this, it was easy to see him the way everyone else did. The smooth-talking football star. The charming guy who attracted all the girls. But in the few conversations we’d had, I’d seen another side of him. A side that interested me.
“How was your movie last night?” The warm water lapped over my arm, foamed around my chest. It was grey outside, the sun cloaked by the clouds. But I was glad, because if it had been a nice day there would most likely be more people out here. Today there were only a few people swimming in the lap pool, and no one in the other pool. Daytime was never busy in the spa. Most people utilized it at night. Still, if it had been sunny there would be people out here catching some rays.
He shrugged. “S’all right.”
“Which one was it?”
He hesitated, seeming a little embarrassed. “The Notebook.”
I bit back a giggle. You couldn’t really get much sappier than that. I loved it, but it was hard to imagine Holden watching it.
“It’s my mom’s favorite.” He shook his head. “I wish I could say that it was my first time seeing it, but that would be lie.”
“And you liked it enough to watch it again, huh?” I teased him while skimming my heel over a jet. It tickled my sensitive flesh, and I shivered.
Holden chuckled. “Let’s just say I hope I don’t ever have to watch it again.”
Obviously his connection with his mom was pretty strong. Strong e
nough that he’d endure a sappy chick flick for her. Multiple times. “Looks like your stepdad’s gonna have to step up next time, huh?”
His smile faltered. I wished I could unsay it.
“I think he’s seen it multiple times with her too. But last night he had some work to take care of. I’m sure if he’d been home he would’ve watched it with her though.”
“You like him?” Holden’s behavior had shifted the minute his stepdad was mentioned, and it peeked my curiosity.
“James is okay. They’ve only been married a year, so I guess I’m still getting used to having him around.”
I nodded. His relationship with his mom was making more sense now. “I get it.”
“What about you? What’s your family like?” His shoulders softened as if he was relieved to take the focus off of himself.
Point taken. “Nothing really to tell. We’re a typical suburban family. Brother’s away at college. Dad works. Mom stays home.” I shrugged. “But it’s cool. Can’t complain.”
With a predatory smile, Holden moved a little closer to me. My pulse quickened. “Enough talk about parents. What I’m really interested in hearing about is you.”
My heart was beating so hard and so loud I could barely hear what he was saying. I was afraid that when I started talking I’d be yelling at the top of my lungs. “W-what about me?” Seriously, why was I stuttering? When he came to sit beside me, I sucked in a breath. I could smell the musky scent of his soap, the faint scent of minty shampoo.
“Everything.”
“That could take awhile,” I said.
“I’ve got time.”
I bit my lip. Was he for real? “Well….I’m seventeen. I turn eighteen this summer. I play the saxophone, but you know that.” I paused, thinking.
“No,” Holden stopped me. “I don’t want your stats. This isn’t a job interview. Tell me about you. What makes you tick?”
“Tick?”
“Yeah, because I have to be honest, I’m not a huge fan of the spa.”
My head snapped toward him, my brows furrowing. That was out of left field. “What?”
“I mean, I’m a huge fan of you in a bikini.” His gaze rested on my chest. “But seriously, it is so hot in here. How can you stand it?” As if to prove his point, he hopped out, blowing out a breath. Sitting on the edge, he left his legs inside.
I giggled at him, but he did have a point. It did get warm fast in here. After all of his compliments regarding my looks, I wasn’t nearly as self-conscious now. So I hoisted myself out too and sat next to him.
“But I like spending time with you,” Holden continued. “So I was hoping you could tell me some other stuff you like to do.”
“Ah, I see,” I said. “Well, I like going to concerts. Live music is like the best.”
“What kind of music?”
“Indie mostly. I tend to gravitate toward underground bands. More edgy stuff.”
“Really?” His eyes lit up, shocking me. Holden didn’t strike me as an edgy music listener. “Remember when I told you about my friend’s band?”
“The one you attempted to sing for?” I asked with a smile.
“Figures you’d remember that part.” He grinned back, bumping his shoulder into mine. Goosebumps rose on my arms. My body was starting to cool, and I was anxious to get back into the warm water. But I liked sitting this close to Holden, our arms almost touching. “He plays at this club in Downtown Sac all the time. They have a bunch of indie groups play there. We should go sometime.”
My heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t kidding. He really did want to spend time with me outside of the gym. It almost seemed too good to be true. I thought about what Jazzy said about Holden only going for the popular girls and cheerleaders. I guess it just goes to show that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, and you shouldn’t believe everything you hear. Sometimes people are more than they seem.
Sometimes they even surprise you.
CHAPTER 9
Holden
A horn blasted through the air signaling Ryan’s arrival. Snatching an apple off the counter, I headed out the front door, backpack slung over my shoulder. Mom and James were already at work, so I locked the door behind me before hurrying down the walkway toward Ryan’s car parked along the curb. I passed a cluster of thorny rose bushes, my feet thumping on the asphalt. Mom had always had a thing for roses. We never had any when we lived in our apartment. But when she and James got married and bought this house, she planted a bunch of them all along the walkway and the side of the house. It was one of the reasons I had accepted Mom’s relationship with James. I knew he could give her the life she deserved. Working as an administrative assistant, we’d barely scraped by for years. Sure, Dad paid child support, but it wasn’t a substantial amount. He’d hired a pretty shady attorney, and Mom was certain he’d fudged the numbers when it came to how much he made. Up until she married James I had often worried what would happen to Mom when I left home. It was one of the many reasons I wanted to go pro. I figured once I was a professional football player I could finally afford to help Mom out. Now it seemed like maybe I wouldn’t have to. Even though James got on my nerves sometimes, I did appreciate that he supported my mom. And I knew it was the way it should be. Women should be taken care of by their husbands, not their sons.
When I reached Ryan’s car, I yanked the passenger door open and slid inside. Ryan and I carpooled most days. We had started the tradition back when Mom and I shared a car and I needed a ride to school. Now I had my own car, but for some reason we still rode together. The only difference was that some days I drove as well.
“Get in, slowpoke,” Ry teased, revving up the engine like he was going to take off before I could close the door.
Shaking my head, I slammed the door shut and he pulled away from the curb. “Since when are you in a hurry to get to school?”
“Since I hooked up with Sarah Thomas this weekend.”
I whistled. Sarah Thomas was one of those girls that all the boys at school secretly fantasized about. She was pretty, but that wasn’t really what fueled the attraction. I think most guys wanted her because she was a challenge. Cold and standoffish, she gave the impression that no guy stood a chance. Rarely did she date and when she did it was usually an older college guy or a guy from another school. Ryan had been trying to get with her for years. It was like his own personal game. The truth was that I never thought he’d reach his goal. Clearly I’d underestimated him.
“No shit,” I said.
“Shit,” he responded.
“How’d you manage that? Was she hammered or something?” It was a joke, but when he glared at me I realized that I was right. “Really, dude? You took advantage of her when she was drunk? Does that even count?”
“Of course it counts, man.” He flicked on his blinker as he neared a corner. When we reached it, he careened around it so fast I had to hold tight to keep from falling over.
“And we’re racing to school because why?” I knew he was excited about Sarah, but I still couldn’t figure out the connection between him hooking up with her while she was drunk and us getting into a car accident trying to get to school fast.
“Because I told her to meet out front. I’m thinking we can walk into school together.” His lips turned upward into a devious grin.
“Wait a minute. Do you really like Sarah? As in you want to be her boyfriend?” If so, I had seriously misjudged his obsession with Sarah. I thought it was simply a conquest thing, but perhaps it was more than that.
“Hell nah, man. This was strictly for fun.”
I cocked my head to the side. “Then why are you walking into school with her.”
“So people will believe me about what happened.”
“You told people?”
He nodded, the devious grin back. “I posted a picture on Instagram.”
“What?” I practically shouted.
“Relax. Not of us naked or anything. Just a selfie from the party. But I was so drunk it was
all blurry, so it’s hard to tell that it’s her. I figure if we walk into school together it’ll make it legit.”
My stomach twisted. This whole thing was sick. Was that all girls were to Ryan? Sometimes I wondered why we were even friends. We were nothing alike. Well, I guess that’s not true. We both loved football. And there was a time when we connected; when we were more alike. But that was before high school. That was before Ryan turned hard and jaded. By then our friendship had been established, and I understood why he behaved the way he did. I’d been to his house enough times to see how his dad treated the family. I’d even been the shoulder he cried on after a beating when he was younger. Now he’d never cry. He’d never admit he needed help or comfort. But I still worried about him. I knew that underneath all the hard edges and toughness was that little boy who just wanted his dad to love him.
“What about you? You do anyone fun this weekend.” Ryan chuckled at his own little pun.
I just rolled my eyes. This morning I had entertained the idea of telling Ryan about Chloe. About how I’d found Spa Chick, and that she went to our school. It’s not like I needed to tell him, because we shared everything. Mostly I wanted to tell him because I knew I’d run into Chloe at school, and I didn’t want to have to explain it to Ryan then. Not in front of her anyway. Ryan had no tact, and I was sure he’d say something inappropriate or rude. But now that Ryan had shared about Sarah, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything about Chloe. He wouldn’t understand anyway. He would probably make some stupid-ass joke about it or something, and I wasn’t in the mood for that. I was already disgusted with the way he was talking about Sarah. I wasn’t sure I could take him referring to Chloe the same way. I may have only hung out with her a couple of times, but my protective side was already on high alert when it came to her.
By the time Ryan parked in the school lot, it was already packed. Students milled around talking and laughing. Loud music spilled out of the car speakers. It reminded me of the concert I planned to take Chloe to. I had looked up the list of bands playing at the club and planned to share it with her when I saw her next. I hoped she’d heard of one of them, because I had no idea who any of them were. It didn’t matter though. I couldn’t wait to take her. It would be fun to hang out with her somewhere other than the spa, to see her in new surroundings. Maybe she’d even let me dance with her. Just the thought of holding her close, of running my hands along her waist, of having her chest pressed to mine, made my heart pick up speed.