“Show off!” Emma mumbled to herself and smiled. She stepped inside and shut the door.
“You’re back early,” Catherine called from the living room where she was reading.
“Yeah,” Emma agreed, “our plans kind of fell through.”
“That’s too bad,” her mom looked honestly disappointed. “What were you going to do?”
“We were supposed to go to the drive-in, but the snow made them delay the opening.”
“So, what did you end up doing then?” Emma could tell that it irritated her mom to have to squeeze every bit of information out of her.
“We just grabbed some dinner from the gas station deli and talked in his truck,” Emma offered, trying to make it sound nonchalant.
She didn’t want a lecture from her mom about the dangers of being alone with a boy in a dark place, blah, blah, blah.
To Emma's surprise, her mom didn’t seem upset about it at all, she blew it off like it was no big deal; a first for Catherine.
“Did you have fun then?” Her mom's voice was cheerful.
“Yeah, I did,” Emma admitted, “it was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.”
“I’m glad you got out of the house and interacted with someone your own age. It’s good to have fun,” Catherine smiled.
“Yeah,” Emma sighed. “Well, I’m going to my room now unless you need anything. I still have a little studying to do before tomorrow.” Emma raised her eyebrow at her mom as she hung on the doorjamb, waiting for permission to make her escape.
“Okay, love ya honey,” Catherine said as she turned back to her book.
“Love ya mom,” Emma called back and started down the hall, “goodnight.”
Emma got ready for bed, trying unsuccessfully to lighten the tense feeling in her chest. Her date with Destry had been eye opening to say the least. The feelings she had when she was with him were too intense to just ignore.
She threw herself down on the bed. Why did she get herself into these messes that she had no hope of getting out of? Emma moaned and groaned a bunch of nonsense into her pillow. Even if her face hadn’t been smothered it wouldn’t have made any sense. Being a sulker was in her genetic makeup and she was good at it.
She hoped someday, someone would be able to break through her invisible brick wall, swim the moat of impossible expectations, and rescue her from herself. She didn’t want to end up an old spinster.
Maybe it would help if she could figure out what she wanted out of life. The problem was, she wasn’t sure anymore. She’d always been a hopeless romantic, waiting for that perfect guy, but instead she’d found a perfect angel and she couldn’t shift her focus back to a normal guy now, even though that would be a saner path to take.
Inner battles were always the hardest ones to fight because there is too much invested interest in the enemy. And even when you won, you were still the loser.
Chapter 17: OPTIONS
Thursday afternoon Emma strode into the lunchroom. Lunch didn't smell any better today than it did most days, but there weren't a lot of choices available so she tried not to dwell on it.
When she graduated in a few weeks she wouldn't have to worry about eating cafeteria food anymore. She only needed to endure it a little longer. She got in line.
Someone grabbed her arm and she turned to see Destry standing behind her with a huge grin.
"Come on," he said.
Emma scowled at him as he started pulling her towards the door. "Where are we going?" she asked, slightly perturbed at being drug along like a puppy.
"I thought you might like something edible for lunch today," he said sarcastically.
"I'm taking you to get something from the deli."
"We just ate at the deli last night," Emma protested, "and I didn't bring any money with me today."
"It's my treat," he replied as he ushered her out of the building and across the lawn.
Emma didn't know how to object. It was a nice gesture on Destry's part and she didn't want to be rude.
Destry opened Emma's door and fanned his arm out, bowing again.
"Your chariot my lady," he said with a wide grin. He put his hand out to help her up.
Emma took it briefly as she hopped up into his truck, her heart stuttered, and she quickly let go. For some reason touching this boy made her body do strange things.
Destry closed her door and walked around to his, getting in with one fluid movement. He made everything look easy. He started the engine and pulled out of the lot along with a surge of other vehicles.
A lot of kids left the school grounds at lunch time. Emma wondered if the lunch ladies ever felt bad that their food was so despised.
They pulled up at the gas station and Emma saw a crowd of kids from school, both inside and out, milling around and having lively conversations with each other. Boys were joking, girls were flirting, and Emma was panicking.
Destry looked over and saw that the color had drained out of Emma's face. "Are you okay?" He asked.
Emma nodded, but she was having a hard time breathing. "Do you always come here for lunch?" she managed to squeak out.
"Usually," Destry said, he looked concerned at Emma's reaction.
"There are a lot of people here, must be a popular spot," she said managing a smile. She didn't want to look like a total idiot in front of Destry. She noticed some of the kids staring in their direction, one of the cheerleaders waved at Destry. He just looked at her, and turned his attention back to Emma.
"We can go somewhere else if you want," he said. "It does look pretty busy here today and I don't want to make you late for your next class."
Emma knew that there was plenty of time to get back to school, and that this was probably how busy this place was every day. Destry was just giving her a convenient escape.
He was being nice.
Emma looked at him for the first time since they'd pulled up. The look on his face told her that he was serious about leaving. He was trying to please her, to make her happy.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Chuck come out the front doors of the gas station. He got an annoyed look on his face when he saw that Destry wasn't alone in his truck.
He gave Emma a placating smile, and then turned to some of the other guys that were standing in a group near the doors. He must have said something derogatory to them about Destry and her, because they turned to look in their direction and snickered.
"Yeah, I think I want to go," Emma said quickly.
"Okay," Destry said, shifting the truck into reverse and backing out, ignoring the confused stares from his friends.
He turned and headed west. "Where are we going?" Emma asked. "I thought you were going to take me back to school."
"I am," he said with a devious smile, "but first we're going to get you something to eat."
Emma was confused. There was nowhere else to eat, not in this direction anyway. This road led out of town and up the canyon. The only other building along this route was the Forest Service Station.
Destry pulled off the road just as they reached the red brick Forest Service building and pulled around the back, coming to a stop in front of two vending machines. He looked over at Emma, pleased with himself.
"So, what'll it be?"
Emma looked at him with admiration; he was nothing if not resourceful. It seemed like he knew this town better than she did even though he hadn't lived here that long. "What do you recommend?" she asked, playing along.
"Well they have some really good Corn Nuts," he said matter-of-factly, "but their Snickers is to die for."
Emma couldn't help but laugh, "I think I'd definitely better get one of those then," she said, "and a soda."
"Excellent choice," Destry said. He gave her a wink and jumped out of the truck, heading over to the machines.
Emma took the opportunity to "check him out" while his back was turned. He was taller than her by nearly a foot. He was lean with a strong back, his smooth muscles visible through his thin blue T-shirt. As
he bent down to get the items out of the vending machine, Emma noticed that he had a pretty cute butt too.
He climbed back in the truck and handed Emma her candy bar and drink. She could feel the blood rising up in her cheeks. Destry was extremely good looking. It was no wonder he had girls throwing themselves at him.
"What?" He asked, smiling.
"Nothing," Emma said trying to sound indifferent.
"Well whatever it is you're smirking about, I'm glad it put some color back in your cheeks at least," he said in a teasing tone.
Emma grinned and looked out the window, feeling embarrassed. "We better get back to school."
"Yep, I'm on it." Destry said as he backed out and spun the truck around, heading back to school.
After a while of watching the fence poles go by, Destry turned to give Emma a crooked smile. "So, what are you doing tomorrow night?"
Emma didn't know how to respond. She was doing the same thing she did every Friday night: nothing except hang out with Micah. She couldn't tell Destry that though.
"I've got a lot of studying, and I make dinner every night for my family," she finally said.
"How late do you study?" Destry was reaching.
"Next week is the year end test for Calculus. I'm sure I'll be studying pretty late."
"Oh," Destry said, "maybe we could go out another night then?"
"Maybe," Emma said.
They pulled into the school parking lot at last, and Emma opened her door to get out. “Do you want me to walk you to class?" Destry asked expectantly.
"No, that's okay," Emma said. "Thanks for lunch though," she smiled at him and took what was left of her candy bar and soda and headed into the school, resisting the urge to look back.
It took Emma a while to fall asleep that night, her head was spinning and she couldn’t make it stop. She must have finally drifted off though, because she woke up suddenly to her darkened room, hugging her chest tightly, trying to squeeze out the terrible feeling that this last dream had brought on.
She glanced over at the red digital numbers on the clock; 2:36 a.m. Ugh. Was she ever going to get a good night’s sleep again?
Emma's dreams were becoming a mirror of her life. It was as if the things she experienced throughout the day were being replayed back to her at night; sort of like a movie.
But the replay was always slightly different, a twisted version of the reality.
Emma knew deep down that these pictures and feelings that were being played back were the secret thoughts and feelings swirling around inside her head, the ones she didn’t let out while she was conscious.
This last one was especially disturbing. In it, Micah was holding her hand, and Emma was beaming with happiness. She could actually picture him now that she knew what he looked like. His touch was no more than a feeling of warmth and electricity across her skin.
Then, just like all the other times, she realized she was going to have to leave, and give up everything that this life with Micah held for her. She was being pulled once again. But the thought that hurt Emma the most this time, was telling Destry the truth. She didn’t want to leave him either. If only she could figure out what it was that was pulling her, then maybe she could find a way to stay where she truly wanted to be.
Emma's heart felt like it was tearing. She couldn’t let go of Micah’s hand, but at the same time she couldn’t bear the pain of saying goodbye to Destry, she needed him too. Emma wanted the best of both worlds, but there was no way to have them both. Her mind was at war with her heart. Emma didn’t know how either one could win, without the casualties being too much to live with.
Why was the thought of leaving Destry so disturbing anyway? She wanted to be with Micah forever… right? He was her angel.
This was a war that couldn’t be won and she didn’t want to be a part of it anymore, but she had no choice. Emma was the cause of it all. She had unknowingly brought it upon herself and now it was too late to turn back the clock and start over.
Emma still felt exhausted when she got up for school. Luckily it was Friday so she'd have the whole weekend to recover. If she could make it through today without falling asleep in class she'd have it made.
She pulled into the parking lot and slid into her usual spot. As she opened her door to get out, she had to quickly pull it closed again for the truck pulling into the space next to hers. It just so happened to be a gray Chevy step-side. What a coincidence. Not!
Destry jumped out of his truck and came trotting over to Emma's car and opened her door for her. "Hey there stranger," he said in a pleasant voice.
"Are you stalking me or something?" Emma asked as she climbed out and maneuvered around the car door. Destry didn't move out of her way, she was almost pressed up against him by the time she got around enough to close the door.
"Of course. That's what crazy people do before they kidnap someone," Destry grabbed Emma from behind around the waist and picked her up off the ground.
Emma's ticklish spot was on her hips, and she couldn't stand being touched there without laughing. She started to squeal and kick and laugh all at the same time. "Put me down," she managed to say between the laughter.
Destry sat her down on her feet and spun her around to face him, still holding her around the waist. He was so close that Emma could feel his erratic heartbeat through his chest.
"Are you really going to kidnap me?" Emma asked to break the strange current flowing between them.
"You never know, I just might," he said grinning.
Emma noticed other kids around them, staring as they passed by. She pushed Destry's hands off her waist and pulled her shirt down. She'd become disheveled when he'd picked her up like a rag doll.
"Then I think it would be best if I stayed away from you," she said, teasing.
"That's probably the safest option," he replied, "but what fun would that be?"
"I don't know how much fun it would be, but it would definitely be a challenge. You're pretty good at sneaking up on me," Emma said.
"I am pretty sneaky," he said with a sly smile, "all those years of playing steal the flag at Scout camp really paid off."
"Apparently," Emma couldn't help but be mesmerized by Destry's confidence, and his smile, and his charm. "I'm going to run away from you now, because good little girls aren't supposed to talk to scary kidnappers."
"Okay then, I'm not a scary kidnapper anymore. Now I'm a helpful Boy Scout, and I'm here to help you across this big parking lot safely ma'am," he said, as he gave Emma the Boy Scout salute.
Emma smiled and rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say."
Destry and Emma made their way through the parking lot towards the school. Every once in a while, Destry would put his hand on Emma's back like he was guiding her through a dangerous area. Emma didn't mind him touching her so much anymore. She'd grown used to the tingles that ran over her when their skin met.
After they entered the front doors Emma turned to go left to her locker. Destry's locker was to the right. "I guess this is where we part," Emma said dramatically like she was quoting a movie, "thank you for your help young man."
"Any time ma'am," Destry said, tipping an imaginary hat at her.
Emma turned quickly and walked away. She was going to be late for class, and all the stares were making her wish she could disappear.
When school was out, Destry was waiting by Emma's car when she came out of the building. She hesitated, but then strode forward to meet him.
"Did you have a good day?" he asked sweetly.
"I guess, if you call seven hours of note taking and being lectured at "good." I prefer to think of it as torture, but to each his own." Emma smirked.
"So, I know you're busy tonight, but how about Saturday?" Destry asked, staring into Emma's eyes.
It was hard to come up with an excuse with him looking at her like that. "Actually," she lied, "I'm going to be at my Grandma's house all day Saturday. I promised I'd help her get some spring cleaning done."
>
Destry had a defeated look on his face now, and Emma wondered if he could tell that she was lying about Gram's house. She couldn't bear to have him look like that.
"I'm free Monday night though," she said with a smile.
Destry's face lit up. "Perfect," he said, "I have that day off work. I'll pick you up right after school okay?"
"Sounds good," Emma said. "I'll see ya then. Have a good weekend."
"You too," he said, "have fun studying and cleaning," he pulled a face to show that he didn't think that sounded like much fun, and Emma chuckled, climbing into her car and shutting the door.
Chapter 18: ALONE
Emma got up with the sun the next morning. This was uncharacteristic behavior for a Saturday; normally she loved to sleep in. But she’d been up most of the night thinking about Destry and Micah. Her thoughts had been warring with each other again and she couldn’t stay in bed any longer. She got dressed and went to the kitchen. She grabbed a granola bar from the cupboard and chewed it quickly, washing it down with a glass of orange juice. Her mom had already left for work and Cody was in the living room watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating a heaping bowl of cereal.
“I’m going to Gram’s," she called to Cody, mostly as a courtesy. She knew he didn’t care what she was doing, but it felt rude to walk out the door without saying anything.
“Whatever, nerd," Cody said with his mouth full.
Emma ignored him and grabbed her jacket off the back of the kitchen chair and slipped out the door.
Going to help Gram was a pretty normal thing for Emma to do. She used to hang out there almost every Saturday before she met Micah. Saturday’s around Eden had never been very exciting. There wasn’t much to do. The only source of excitement was the tourists who sometimes drifted in from the surrounding ski resorts or those who came to fish the reservoir. But they were always here today, gone tomorrow.
She felt guilty for not spending as much time at Gram’s lately but she had been so pre-occupied with Micah and now Destry that Gram had fallen by the wayside. She told herself that’s why she was going to Gram’s today, but she knew that most of it was that she’d told Destry that’s where she was going and she didn't want to be a liar.
Eternal (Eternal series) Page 15