by Bonnie Leon
“Maybe,” she answered with a teasing lilt to her voice. She looked into eyes the color of a fall sky, and then her gaze moved to Mike’s lips. They always seemed to hold a bit of mischief. He was a good man, a perfect match for her. Why was she hesitating?
“Do you want me to do this properly?” He took something out of his pocket and dropped to one knee.
“Mike. Get up.” Kate looked up and down the road, embarrassed and hoping no one could see them. The street was empty.
“I want to do this right.” He held out a small box. “Kate, I love you. I want to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?” He opened the box and Kate could see a ring resting inside.
She had to answer. She closed her eyes and thought back over their friendship and the experiences they’d shared. They were right for each other. They belonged together. She smiled. “Yes. I’ll marry you.”
Mike let out a little whoop, lifted out a gold band with a small diamond in it, and slid it on her finger. “It’s nothing fancy, but I’ll get you something better later.”
“No. It’s fine. It’s perfect. You know me—I’m not a fancy sort of gal.”
He pulled her into his arms. “I’ll make you happy. I promise.” He kissed her tenderly.
Happiness swept over Kate. This was right, she was sure of it. And then Paul’s face flickered through her mind, and with it came doubt.
Mike’s breath against her lips, he said, “Everything will be perfect.” He kissed her again. “Mrs. Mike Conlin. I like the sound of that.”
“How about Kate Conlin? The pilot Mike Conlin is married to?” She chuckled.
“It’s fine with me, either way.”
Kate’s heart battered in her chest. She did love him, didn’t she? And even if she didn’t, romantic love was overrated. It usually left you with a broken heart. She could live without it. A steady, respectful love was long-lasting and more dependable.
She planted a sweet kiss on Mike’s lips. “I’ll be the best wife I know how. ’Course I’ll have to take cooking lessons from Helen and Muriel.”
“Don’t worry about that.” He smiled broadly. “So, when?”
“When what?”
“When should we get married?”
Kate laughed. “I don’t know. It’ll take some planning. I want my parents to be here.”
“Okay. When you have it figured out, you tell me and I promise to be there.” Taking her hand he said, “Come on. Let’s tell Albert and Helen.”
Her mind full of wedding plans, Kate headed for the airfield. She hoped Mike hadn’t left yet. She needed to ask him about the date for the wedding. She’d considered the first week in October. It was a busy season for her parents, but if she waited until November they might not be able to make it up.
Her thoughts jumped unexpectedly to Paul, and her jovial mood slid downhill. Would she always love him? Maybe when he got married, she’d be able to let him go completely. But she doubted he’d ever marry. He’d never allow himself to get close enough to anyone to make that kind of commitment again.
She rested a hand on Angel, who sat on the seat beside her. “So, you think you’ll like living at Mike’s house?” Angel pressed her head under Kate’s palm and moved closer to her.
Kate’s thoughts lingered on Paul and Mike. She couldn’t keep from comparing how she felt about the two. She didn’t feel the same passion for Mike that she’d had for Paul, but that didn’t mean she loved Mike less, just differently.
She slowed and turned toward Lake Spenard. Mike should be at the airfield. He and Kate both had runs scheduled. When she pulled into the airport, she was disappointed that his plane wasn’t there. She’d missed him.
Kate parked her car in front of the shop. She stepped out and stood for a moment to collect herself. She was on edge, but didn’t know why. Taking in a breath of cool September air, her gaze settled on the Chugach mountain range. She never tired of looking at them. The power of the steep, jagged peaks bolstered her.
She headed for the shop and stepped inside. Jack was the only one there. “Good morning.”
“Figured you’d be here earlier. Mike said you were supposed to meet him here this morning.”
“I was. Where is he?”
“Set out at the crack of dawn.” Jack tapped the end of a pencil on the desk.
“Really? I didn’t know he wanted to leave so early.”
“Said something about company for dinner?” Jack cocked an eyebrow.
“Yeah. We’re getting together with friends.”
“You better get a move on if you want to get back in time. There’s a lot of mail.” Jack narrowed his eyes. “What’s so important about tonight anyway?”
“Nothing.”
“Didn’t seem like nothing to me. Mike was wearing a big fat grin the whole time he was here.” Jack studied her, squinting. “Something’s going on . . . I can feel it.”
Kate shrugged. “Can’t guess what.” She hoped she sounded innocent.
“Yeah. Well, he said he wanted to get back early so he could make dinner.”
“Really?” Kate smiled furtively and walked into the back room. Muriel and Terrence would be at Mike’s by seven o’clock. Mike planned to announce their engagement. They’d sworn Helen and Albert to secrecy, and Kate wasn’t about to let Jack know about her and Mike before her best friend heard.
She wondered what life with Mike would be like. Exciting and unpredictable, she guessed. They wouldn’t be bored. And Mike already owned a house, which meant she could use her savings for something else.
It would be fun to do some traveling. As pilots, they could fly most any place they wanted. She imagined trips across the United States and Canada. There were so many places she wanted to see. And traveling with Mike would be fun. He knew how to have a good time.
Wearing a smile, she placed sorted mail into a bag. When it was filled, she set it to the side and picked up another canvas sack. Jack had been right when he said there was a lot of mail.
Her mind flitted back to wedding plans. Maybe October wasn’t such a good idea. It would be hard for her parents to get away. It was a busy season on the farm. A summer wedding would be nice, but that meant waiting months. She knew Mike wouldn’t like that.
The squawk of the airport radio disrupted the quiet. Kate didn’t pay attention, not at first. Then she heard Mike’s voice. “This is Fairchild 323. Come in Anchorage. Over.” His voice sounded tight. Something was wrong. Angel whined.
Kate moved to the doorway.
“Fairchild 323, this is Anchorage. Go ahead. Over.”
“Engine’s out. I’m going down. Over.”
“Fairchild 323, give me your location.” Jack’s voice was anxious, but steady. He repeated. “Fairchild 323, I need your location. Over.”
Static was the only response. “Fairchild 323. Report your location.” Nothing. “Mike.” He waited. No word came back. “This is Anchorage airport to Fairchild 323. Come in. Over.”
Panic swelled inside Kate. Her stomach tightened and her heart hammered inside her chest. She strode into the office. “Call him again.”
“Mike. This is Anchorage airport. Are you there? Over.”
Static sizzled through the room.
“Fairchild 323, this is Anchorage. Come in.” Jack stared at Kate, unable to disguise his alarm.
Kate stood immobile, then years of experience kicked in. “Where was he heading?” She tossed aside the mailbag.
“North of Palmer. He was dropping David Clarkson off at his homestead.”
“Okay. I’m going. I’ll have a look.”
Jack nodded, his expression morose.
Kate ran for the door. She opened it, then turned and looked back at Jack. “I’m sure he’s fine. You know Mike. He can get out of any tight spot.” She gripped the doorknob. “But you’d better get some pilots up to search for him.”
Kate sprinted across the airfield, Angel beside her. When she reached the plane, she threw open the door and Angel jumped in. Kate c
ranked the flywheel, climbed in, and turned over the engine. With only a quick glance at her gauges, she headed toward the airstrip and, quickly picking up speed, lifted into the air. He’s got to be okay. Please be okay.
With the engine roaring in her ears, she skimmed the top of the trees bordering the airport. Her mind worked through all options and visualized the countryside between Anchorage and Palmer. If he’d gone down in farmland, it wouldn’t be hard to spot him. And he could probably set down without serious damage. But if he’d crashed north of Palmer, the terrain was forested and mountainous. A plane would be hard to see.
She scanned the open fields dappled with patches of forest. If he knew he was in trouble, where would he set down? Show me, Lord, Kate prayed as she flew, trying to believe that she and Mike still had a future.
When there was no sign of him, fear knifed through Kate. What could have gone wrong? Where was he?
She flew in a pattern over the Matanuska Valley. Finally she radioed back to the airfield. “Anchorage, this is Pacemaker 221. Over.”
“Anchorage airport. Go ahead. Over.”
“Any word on Mike? Over.”
“Nothing. You see anything? Over.”
“No sign of him here in the valley. Over.”
“Pacemaker 221. I have two more planes in the air. Another on the way. Over.”
“I’m heading to the Clarkson place. Over.”
After that, all Kate heard was static so she shut down communication. The minutes seemed to tick by in slow motion. There was no sign of Mike or his plane. Kate’s thoughts returned to the time she’d spent stranded after crashing into the lake near Mount Susitna. While friends and family had feared the worst, she’d been alive and waiting for rescue. Aside from being cold and hungry she was fine. Nena had suffered a terrible injury, but she’d pulled through. Kate told herself Mike was safe and waiting for someone to find him.
Her mind reeling with questions and fears, she flew over the Clarksons’ airfield. Mike’s plane wasn’t there. She set down, and leaving the engine running, Kate ran toward a small cabin.
Julie Clarkson stepped onto a porch with a wooden railing, her two-year-old son in her arms. She wiped her free hand on an apron draped over a rounded stomach. She was due to have another baby in a few weeks.
“Kate?” She squinted against the sun. “I thought David was flying out today with Mike.”
“He’s not here?”
“No. Should he be?” The tenor of Julie’s voice rose.
Kate combed her fingers through the thick hair on Angel’s neck. The dog had stayed with her instead of heading off to investigate, as if knowing Kate needed her. “Mike and David left early this morning. Mike sent in a call for help, saying he was putting the plane down. I was hoping he’d made it here.”
Although her insides quivered with anxiety, Kate managed to maintain a facade of composure. “I’m sure they’re fine. Probably just had a little trouble with the engine and Mike found a safe place to set down. He’s one of the best pilots you’ll ever find, and he can land just about anywhere. We’ve just got to find him.” She forced a smile.
Julie pulled the toddler closer. Her eyes brimmed with tears. “Where do you think they are?”
“Don’t know just yet. But we’ve got several planes out searching. I’d better get back in the air. We’ll have David home soon.” The color had drained from Julie’s face, and Kate feared she might faint. Resting a hand on her arm, she asked, “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” Julie brushed at her tears. “Just find David for me.”
“We will. Maybe you should lie down. Try not to worry.”
Wishing she were able to follow her own advice, Kate loped back to the plane. When she climbed aboard she heard the crackle of the radio. “Pacemaker 221, this is Anchorage airport. Over.”
Kate scrambled into the front seat and picked up the radio. “This is Pacemaker 221. Go ahead. Over.”
There was a pause, then the radio came to life again. “We found Mike. Over.”
Kate’s heart pummeled against her ribs. “Is he all right? Over.”
No answer, then Jack said quietly, “Sorry, Kate. Mike . . . ,” the radio crackled, “. . . make it. Neither did David Clarkson. Over.”
Kate couldn’t believe what she’d heard. “You’re breaking up. Say again. Over.”
“Mike and David didn’t make it. Over.”
Kate dropped the handset. The world tipped. Didn’t make it? No. It wasn’t possible. Mike was the best. She stared at a lone spruce. He couldn’t be dead. Terrence and Muriel were coming for dinner and he was going to announce their engagement.
Kate broke into sobs. “No . . . No . . . Not Mike.”
Her eyes trailed to the cabin. She’d have to tell Julie.
Sidney, Kenny, and Paul joined three other friends of Mike’s and carried his casket out of the church, down the front steps, and to a waiting hearse. Kate followed. Her heart ached and felt as if it were made of lead. Helen stood at her side and circled an arm around Kate’s shoulders. Kate leaned against her, then looked back at the church. This was the place they’d planned to begin their life together. Instead Kate was saying good-bye.
She rested a hand over the tiny gold airplane that hung around her neck—the one Mike had given to her at Christmas. She remembered her surprise at the special gift. He’d had it made just for her. Anger mingled with her sorrow. Why had he died? He didn’t deserve it. Where had God been?
She gazed out over the parking lot packed with cars. Everyone loved Mike. She loved Mike. Why had she waited so long to let him know? So many days wasted. Tears blurred her vision.
Albert moved down the steps and reached out to help her take the last one. He kept a gentle hold on her arm as she walked along the pathway. Again, her fingers found the necklace. Had she known all those months ago that she loved him? Even when she’d been seeing Paul? Maybe what she felt for Paul had been infatuation. From the first day she and Mike had met, she’d cared about him and knew she always would. Mike was supposed to always be there. Now he was gone. Alison’s death had been hard enough, but this was unbearable.
Mike’s casket was lifted into the hearse and slid inside. Kate had a horrible sensation that the hearse was swallowing him. Her legs went weak and she feared she might faint.
She leaned against Albert as he steered her toward his car and then opened the door. Kate sat on the backseat. Helen moved in beside her. She took a handkerchief out of her handbag and gave it to Kate.
“Thank you.” Kate dabbed at her unending tears. Albert turned onto the street and followed the hearse on its journey to the cemetery.
When the men placed the casket beside an open grave, Kate couldn’t look at it. Mike didn’t belong in the ground. His place was in the sky. And then Kate remembered—he was flying, with the Lord. The clarity of that knowledge warmed her heart.
Stiffly, she made her way to the graveside where friends had gathered. Helen and Albert remained at her side. Muriel caught her eye and nodded reassurance.
As the reverend spoke, Kate twisted the engagement ring around her finger. She wondered if she should have placed it in the casket with Mike. She looked up to find Muriel staring at the ring. Their tear-filled eyes met and Muriel smiled gently.
Kate tucked her hands behind her back and allowed her gaze to roam across the small cemetery. The close-cropped grass was adorned with small pink, yellow, and blue wildflowers, the last of the season. Radiant fireweed trembled in the breeze, seeming to whisper condolences. The arms of an oak protectively sheltered the grave site. Mike would have liked this spot.
The minister ended with a prayer and then a woman from the church, whom Kate barely knew, sang “Jesus Is Passing This Way.” When she finished, the crowd slowly dispersed. Kate remained. She didn’t want to leave Mike. He’d be alone.
She rested a hand on the casket. Why did you have to go? We were just beginning. The weight in her chest grew heavier and she choked back sobs. She looked u
p and caught sight of Paul. He stood several yards away and seemed to be waiting for her. Brushing at her tears, she blew into the handkerchief, then turned back to the casket. “You were my best friend. I’ll never forget you. Never.”
Her legs barely held her as she walked toward the car where Muriel, Helen, and Albert waited. Paul moved toward her and she felt rising panic. She couldn’t talk to him. Not today. This day belonged to Mike.
Having no alternative, she threw back her shoulders and waited.
Paul stopped, leaving only a couple of feet between them. When he acted as if he might reach out for her hands, she hugged herself about the waist. “Kate, I just want you to know how sorry I am. Mike was an upstanding person. I admired him.”
“He liked you too.”
Paul glanced at Albert and Helen. “If there’s anything you need, please let me know.”
“Sure.” Kate squeezed back tears.
With a slight bob of his head, Paul turned and walked away. He held his shoulders high and his spine straight. He didn’t look back.
— 17 —
It was mid-September, and the chill wind of fall swept up small whitecaps on the lake, sifting a fine spray across the tops of the waves. Kate’s hair blew into her eyes. She didn’t mind. She liked the wind. It made her feel alive.
The days since Mike’s funeral had dragged and the nights were interminable. His absence had left an emptiness in her—a constant ache that she felt even in the dead of sleep. Since their first meeting he’d been her friend, someone she could count on. What would she do without him? Work. She needed to work.
Coughing into her sleeve, she headed for the shop, Angel at her side. The dog had stayed close since Mike’s death, seeming to sense Kate’s loneliness and the need for companionship.
Feeling a sneeze coming on, Kate pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and blew her nose. She’d picked up a cold somewhere, but was determined to fly anyway. Jack had kept her grounded and fear had niggled its way into her thinking. She had to get back in the air before it took hold.