Small steps, she reminded herself. Everything in Alaska was new to her and she needed to accept the fact that her little boy was growing up. He would always be her baby, but she needed to allow him to spread his wings.
“There’s stuff in here that needs to be tossed,” Finn noted. He was standing with his arms folded across his chest. He looked handsome and authoritative. Maggie felt thankful he had been here with her when she had first opened up the shop. It had been an absolute shock to see Keepsakes in such a shambles. Back when she’d been a kid, the store had been in pristine condition. Having Finn at her side had made it bearable. It was a comfort to know she wasn’t alone in this. She still harbored childhood memories of helping Uncle Tobias stock shelves and playing with the cash register. Sweet, enduring memories etched on her heartstrings.
“Why don’t we make a toss pile and a viable-merchandise pile?” Maggie suggested.
Finn wiped his arm across his brow. “Sounds like a plan. You also should start coming up with prices. Once everything gets settled you can look online and research how much the items are worth to make sure you’re on track.” He held up a silver frame. “Some of them still have tags on them.”
Maggie nodded.
They began working in companionable silence. She could hear Finn rustling around by the back of the store. She was tackling an area by the front counter. So far she hadn’t come across any of the Christmas items. She needed to get her hands on them so she could come up with a festive window display and set up the front of the store with seasonal items.
She looked over at the front window and envisioned creating a beautiful Christmas display to attract customers. Perhaps a lovely nativity scene or something with lots of bells and whistles.
After an hour of searching through boxes, Maggie finally hit pay dirt.
“Whoa. I think I just stumbled upon the Christmas merchandise.” She lifted the lid off one box and began to poke around inside it. There was an abundance of items. Individually packaged ornaments. Tiny Christmas village display items. Christmas flags. Festive banners. Light-up lawn displays.
Maybe she could set up the Christmas village in the window. It would look beautiful with all the little houses lit up and blanketed with fake snow.
Finn wiped his brow with the back of his hand. “That’s great. All of that stuff needs to be front and center as soon as the shop opens.”
Maggie tugged at another box. It was sitting off to the side with nothing placed on top of it. When she opened the lid she saw mounds of tissue paper. She reached in and gently began unveiling the items. She let out a cry of delight as she laid eyes on the delicate snow globe. Inside was a snowman and a little girl. She shook it a little and watched as snowflakes began to swirl around inside. Maggie let out a sigh. She’d always wanted a snow globe collection. Her mother had considered her request as too extravagant for a child, so her wish for one always fell on deaf ears. After all these years, she still loved the beauty and grace of the glass creations.
“Snow globes. This whole box is filled with them.” She held one up for Finn to see. “Isn’t this exquisite?”
“Nice,” Finn said with a nod of approval. “Those will fly off the shelves.”
Maggie ran her fingers over the smooth surface of the snow globe. It was so beautiful she almost wished she could keep it. But she couldn’t get sentimental over the items. The whole point in owning a shop was to sell merchandise for a profit.
You’re not a kid anymore, she reminded herself. It was silly to feel sad over a snow globe she had never received for Christmas.
“Are you a snow globe enthusiast? You can’t take your eyes off that one,” Finn said.
“I guess so,” Maggie said with a nod of her head. “I’ve never owned one, although as a kid I found them fascinating.”
“You seem to feel the same way as an adult,” Finn teased.
“I suppose I’ve always been drawn to them.” Maggie gently placed the snow globe back in its box. She imagined a customer would pay a good amount for it.
“So tell me about Operation Love,” she called out to Finn, hoping to distract herself from bittersweet memories. “I read a little about it on the internet, but you’ve seen it up close and personal—the successes, the failures.” Maggie had been invited to sign up for the program weeks ago, but it wasn’t something she was considering. For someone who had been burned by love, joining the town mayor’s matchmaking initiative would not be a prudent idea. Finding love was not her objective in Alaska, although she was still curious about the program.
“It’s been great for this town. For so long there was a female shortage. The male-female ratio was really unbalanced. It still is, but it’s not as bad. And there are lots of couples who’ve gotten engaged and walked down the aisle as a result. Do you remember Boone Prescott? Declan’s best friend?”
Boone! Dark hair, intense eyes and a quiet disposition. Boone had been joined at the hip with Finn’s brother, Declan. He’d been the type of kid who had sat back and watched everything around him. It didn’t surprise her how he’d ended up in law enforcement.
“Boone met his wife, Grace, through the program.” Finn chuckled. “Grace came here as a participant in Operation Love, although she was really working undercover as a journalist to write a story about the program and the townsfolk. They had a few bumps along the way, but they found their happily-ever-after.”
“What about you? Have you signed up?” she asked, imagining Finn would be a big draw in this small Alaskan town.
“Nope. And I don’t plan to either. I’m not looking to settle down,” he said in a brusque tone. “I like being single and unattached.”
Maggie felt as if her eyes might bulge out of her head. “Really?” The question slipped out of her mouth before she could rein it back in.
Hmm. How had the women in this town allowed an Alaskan hottie like Finn to stay single? It seemed as if he would be a hot commodity in Love.
“Is that so hard to believe?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in her direction.
“I’m just surprised. You have so much to offer. And the way you are with Oliver and Aidan, I can’t imagine you not being a father.”
“Some things just aren’t meant to be. I don’t relish that type of responsibility.” The tone of Finn’s voice sounded resigned.
“Is this about your father and the way he walked away from you and Declan?” she asked, shocking herself by asking the probing question. If Finn hadn’t been a childhood pal she would never have dared. But she couldn’t deny her curiosity about his family. Back in the day Maggie had been envious of his picture-perfect family. How had it all fallen apart so disastrously?
Finn looked startled for a moment. His jaw looked tight. He seemed to be struggling to answer her question. “Yes, I’m sure that has something to do with it. I’ve always been aware that it comes with a huge responsibility—one I’m not looking to assume.”
The forlorn tone of his voice made her wish she hadn’t been so nosy. No doubt she’d stirred up painful issues from the past. How would she like it if someone started probing into Sam’s death? All of her family skeletons would come tumbling out of the closet. If the truth came out it was possible the townsfolk would treat her like a pariah, just as they had in Boston. She shivered at the thought, knowing Oliver’s future could be compromised if that happened.
“I’m sorry for asking. It’s none of my business,” she said in a brisk tone. “I didn’t mean to open any old wounds.”
Finn met her gaze from across the room. “You should know something. In a town this small you’ll probably hear it at some point.” Finn let out a ragged sigh. “My mother was killed accidentally by my father. They were fooling around in our backyard one night with a shotgun and they’d had a few too many beers. One minute they were joking around and the next moment the gun went off by mistake. She di
ed right there at our house.”
Maggie felt as if she’d been holding her breath the entire time Finn spoke. His revelation was shocking. Her heart broke for him and the entire O’Rourke family and all they’d lost because of such a senseless tragedy. This whole time she’d been wondering about the adult version of Finn and trying to pinpoint all the ways in which he had changed. Now it was all clear. The little boy who had been filled with such mischief and light and heart didn’t exist anymore. Trauma had forever changed him.
“Finn! I’m so sorry you went through that heartache. I know how much you loved her. She was such a beautiful and kindhearted woman. And she loved you all so very much.”
Maggie remembered Finn’s mother. Cindy O’Rourke. She’d been gentle and kind and her laughter had filled up their home. She had baked peanut butter cookies and made rocky-road fudge. Maggie had often wished that her own mother could be a lot more like Finn’s.
Maggie had experienced her own share of hard knocks in her childhood, but nothing like what Finn had endured. Loss after loss after loss. It was heartbreaking.
Finn broke eye contact with her and looked down at one of the boxes. “It was unimaginable. Truth to be told, losing her almost broke me. It definitely tore my father apart. He ran away from Love because he couldn’t bear the pain of what happened. He ended up spending some time in jail for petty crimes.” His voice softened. “I understand why he left us and why everything in his life fell apart. It still hurts though. To lose our mother and then our father—” His voice became clogged with emotion. He cleared his throat, then began to rummage around in one of the boxes.
“And then your grandfather passed,” she said as memories of a sweet, round-faced man with a deep-throated laugh sprang to mind. Killian O’Rourke had been such a source of pride and inspiration. Everyone in town had adored him.
“Yep. It was like a domino effect,” he said, his head still bowed. “That one nearly did me in. When he got sick I left town. It was too painful for me to stay here and watch him die.”
Maggie felt a chill sweep across her back. She felt Finn’s agony acutely. It was infused in his voice. It radiated from every pore on his body. “It must have been agonizing.”
“And Declan had to deal with yet another loss. Only this time he was all alone. I bailed on him.”
Maggie didn’t know what to say to try to make it all better. Maggie had been widowed before she even turned thirty years old. So she kept quiet, knowing all too well some things couldn’t be fixed or smoothed over.
“So you see, Maggie, I’m the last person who feels the need to get married and raise a family. I’m not exactly dependable. When Declan really needed me to help care for our grandfather, I was exploring Yosemite and backpacking my way through life.” He let out a bitter-sounding laugh. “Nice, huh?”
She shrugged. “You did what you had to do to get by. No one has the right to judge you.”
“Except myself,” he muttered.
They both settled back into digging through inventory. Maggie tried to focus on the job at hand, but her thoughts kept veering back toward Finn and his tragic past. It made her chest tighten to imagine the ten-year-old Finn having to deal with such horror. Sam’s death had put Oliver through the wringer, but Maggie had been by his side steadfastly throughout the whole ordeal.
She now knew a whole lot more about the adult Finn than she’d ever imagined discovering. He associated family with loss. Heartache. He hadn’t put it into those exact words, but she sensed he was still running away. Although he was physically here in his hometown, he was afraid to attach himself to anything significant.
She didn’t blame him. Finn O’Rourke had lost a lot in his life. She imagined he didn’t have a whole lot more to give of his heart. She knew a little bit about how it felt to feel so beaten down and jaded. Frankly it was a shame. Because something told her that like his childhood self, Finn had more heart and soul in his little pinkie than most had in their entire bodies.
Chapter Six
Finn loved Christmas. It was one of his most closely kept secrets. Although he hardly ever showed it, on the inside he was like a little kid bubbling with excitement in anticipation of the holiday season. Finn wasn’t sure even Declan knew how much he loved the hoopla and the decorations and the feeling of goodwill toward humankind. As a man who had messed up a lot in his life, he deeply appreciated the idea of reconciliation at Christmas. It was the perfect time to embrace the Lord. He was deeply flawed, but God still loved him.
Ever since he was a kid, Finn had thought it was pretty awesome how he could mess up a million times, but it didn’t change the way God felt about him.
I have loved thee with an everlasting love. The verse from Jeremiah had always stuck with him. It had sustained him during the worst moments of his life. Even though he was a sinner, he still had God’s love.
And way past the age when kids believed in Santa, Finn had continued to believe with all his might. Although most people thought a little bit of the Christmas spirit evaporated once the secret of Santa was revealed, it had only made Finn more convinced of the beauty of this sacred time of year. Along with God, people were at the heart of Christmas.
On his way into town this morning he had cranked up the radio and rocked out to Christmas music. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t carry a tune. He could still belt out the lyrics about someone rocking around the Christmas tree. As he stood outside Keepsakes he stopped and looked up at the faded sign and the ramshackle exterior.
It needed to be spruced up before the snow came. The local weatherman had been reporting about a snowstorm hitting town in a few days. He made a mental note to mention it to Maggie and to remind her to stock up on household food and supplies by tomorrow.
Finn let himself into the shop with the key Maggie had given him. He flicked on the lights and surveyed the store. Although progress had been made, there was still lots to do before Keepsakes could open its doors. After about ten minutes of rooting around the shop, Finn heard the front door being opened. Maggie came in bundled up in a burgundy-colored coat and matching scarf. Both looked as if they’d seen better days.
“Good morning,” Finn said.
Maggie grimaced. “’Morning.”
Her normally friendly greeting was missing in action today. He studied her closely. Her eyes were red and it was clear to Finn she had been crying.
Finn frowned. “Wasn’t today Oliver’s first day of kindergarten?” Shouldn’t Maggie be smiling?
Maggie nodded but didn’t say a word.
“How’d it go?” he asked. He was being polite by asking. Finn didn’t want to know the answer. He could see it all over her face. The idea of Maggie crying made him feel incredibly uncomfortable. He wouldn’t know what to do to console her if she broke down in front of him. And the idea of her being in pain made his chest tighten uncomfortably.
“Terrible,” she said in a mournful voice. “I walked him inside like all of the other parents and we stayed until the teacher rang the start of school bell.” Maggie heaved out a deep breath. “Then all of the kids started waving to their parents and some of them were having a hard time saying goodbye.”
Finn winced. “Let me guess. Oliver cried?”
Maggie put her hands on her hips. “No, he didn’t cry. Nor did he wave or run up to me and give me a farewell kiss. He smiled, then turned around and joined the others for singing class. Seems they’re putting on a little Christmas show and Oliver needs to memorize four songs.”
“That’s great. Sounds like he took to it like a duck to water.”
Maggie nodded, lips trembling. “Yep. Oliver came through it with flying colors. Not so sure about Mom though. I feel as if I’ve been run over by a Mack truck. It’s rough being the new kid in town.”
“Maggie, you’re going to be fine. Everyone knows that the first day at a new
school is harder on the parents than on the kids. It’s a thing.”
“It is? You’re not pulling my leg are you?” she asked in a wary voice.
“Of course not. And you should be really proud of yourself. Oliver is a well-adjusted kid, despite having lost a parent. Do you have any idea how incredible that is?”
A smile slowly crept across Maggie’s face. Although he thought she was beautiful, a full-fledged smile transformed her into someone extraordinary. “It is pretty amazing now that you mention it.” She ran her hand through her shoulder-length chestnut-colored hair and beamed.
“Hey! Look over there!” Finn cried out, pointing at a spot near the front counter.
“What is it?” Maggie asking, whipping around to see what had gotten Finn so excited.
“There’s a clear spot over there. Can you believe it?” Finn asked.
Maggie shook her head and giggled. “It was bound to happen one of these days.”
Finn enjoyed making Maggie laugh. He liked watching the way her eyes crinkled and her nose scrunched up. He had a feeling she had no idea of her appeal.
It was sad that they’d resorted to this type of humor, Finn realized, but seeing a clear spot in the shop felt like spectacular news. They had been working nonstop for days to get rid of heaps of items they’d deemed as trash and get the shop in decent order. For the first time it seemed as if there was a light at the end of the tunnel. With the holidays rapidly approaching, they needed to open as soon as possible.
A sudden knocking on the door halted their conversation.
An Alaskan Christmas (Alaskan Grooms Book 6) Page 7