WWW.SIOBHANDAVIS.COM
In memory of Justin (Jay) Thomas
Table of Contents
Note From the Author
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Eight
Chapter Forty-Nine
Chapter Fifty
Chapter Fifty-One
Chapter Fifty-Two
Epilogue
Incognito - Sample
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Acknowledgments
About The Author
Books By Siobhan Davis
Copyright
Note From the Author
This book contains sensitive subject matter that might pose potential triggers for some readers. I cannot be more descriptive without spoiling the story. If you are concerned about a specific trigger, please email me: [email protected]
Due to mature content and themes, this book is not suitable for anyone under the age of eighteen.
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Prologue
Gabby
Looking back, I should have seen the signs. Perhaps I did, but I subconsciously chose to ignore them.
From the time I was ten, when I first met Dylan, I knew he was my forever guy. Back then, I couldn’t put words to what I was feeling, but, as the years progressed, I came to recognize it for what it was—soul-deep love. The kind only very few people ever get to experience. Dylan was more than just my best friend, my childhood sweetheart, my lover.
He was my soul mate.
We were carved from the same whole—destined to be together forever.
Until he changed.
And I believed I was no longer good enough.
Until he shattered me so completely, it felt like I ceased to exist.
And I’d never experienced such heart-crushing pain.
Until he leveled me a second time, and I truly wanted to die.
But I had to stay strong because I wasn’t alone in this cruel twist of fate.
I look to the sky, pleading with the stars, begging someone to tell me what I should do because I don’t know how to deal with this.
I don’t know how to cope when my forever has changed, and I can’t help wondering if I had seen the signs earlier, if I’d pushed him, would it have been enough to save us?
Or had fate already decided to alter our forever?
Chapter One
Gabby
Six months earlier—start of sophomore year in college
“A bunch of us are heading to the frat party later. Want to come with?” Myndi asks as we make our way out of the building on Friday after our last class of the day.
“Thanks for the invite, but I’ve already got plans.”
She smiles knowingly at me, her green eyes twinkling. “Let me guess? With a certain hot, rich, tech nerd who worships the ground you walk on?”
I grin. “Yep. It’s our four-year anniversary, so Dylan is taking me out to dinner to celebrate.”
“Aw, he’s so romantic. You’ve definitely got yourself a good one, Gabby.”
“I know. I’m really lucky to have found my person. I can’t ever imagine my life without him in it.”
Sticking her fingers in her mouth, she makes a gagging sound. Late afternoon sun glints off the red undertones in her hair, highlighting her natural beauty. Myndi’s genuine personality and laid-back manner completes the perfect package. Travis was a damn fool for cheating on her. But it’s most definitely his loss.
And my bestie has had no shortage of offers since we returned to campus from summer break a couple weeks ago.
“Too cheesy?” I’m still grinning as I say it. Nothing can put a dent in my good mood today. Not even the mammoth assignment Prof Brown just handed us.
“Definitely, but you own that, girl, and feel proud! Dylan’s the catch of the century, and if you weren’t my bestest friend in the entire universe, I might feel jealous.”
I loop my arm in hers as we walk through campus. Glorious sunshine beats down on us, and it feels good to be alive. “Your Prince Charming is out there too, waiting to be claimed.” I had thought Travis might be the one, but after the shit he pulled, it’s clear I was mistaken. “I still can’t believe Travis cheated on you with that skank. He was so devoted last year.”
My bestie shrugs, but she can’t disguise the flash of hurt glimmering in her eyes. “Neither can I, but I guess I never really knew him at all. Everything he said to me was a bare-faced lie.”
“Let’s schedule a girl’s night for next week,” I suggest. “Just you and me. We can grab dinner and a movie or hang out at my place. I’ll kick Dylan out for the night.”
Myndi and I met our first week of freshman year, and we’ve been pretty much joined at the hip since then. We’re both studying nursing, so we spend every day together, and when she started dating Travis last year, double dates became a regular occurrence.
Travis and Dylan were close, until Travis did the unthinkable over the summer and Myndi kicked him to the curb. Now, Dylan refuses to return Travis’s calls, and I admire his loyalty to my friend—as if I need additional reasons to adore my long-term boyfriend and childhood sweetheart.
“That’d be great, but I don’t want to kick Dylan out of his own condo. We’ll just ban him to the bedroom and commandeer the living room.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
A shrill whistle pierces my eardrums, and I look up as my name is called. My brother, Ryan, waves from across the street. He’s in his running gear, and, judging by the hair plastered to his forehead, I’m guessing he’s on the return route of his daily jog. He sprints across the road with a certain look on his face. One I’ve seen way too many times to count.
“Good evening, ladies,” he says, all but ignoring me as he grins seductively at my
friend. Very slowly, he peruses the length of her body, licking his lips and folding his muscular arms across his torso. Myndi’s chest visibly heaves as she returns the eye-fuck, and I know it’s time to stop this train wreck from happening.
I punch Ryan in the arm.
Hard.
“Ow!” Rubbing his arm, he scowls at me. “What the fuck was that for?”
“Quit with the sleazy ‘come fuck me’ looks. Myndi is my best friend so that means she’s off limits to the likes of you.” I prod my finger in his solid chest to drill my point home. And it’s not the first time I’ve had to issue a warning. He’s been after her since last year. Although he’d never make a move on any girl in a relationship, now that Myndi and Travis are no more, he seems to have made it a mission to get her underneath him.
As much as I love my brother, and I truly adore him, he’s a complete manwhore, leaving a trail of broken hearts all over campus. If I thought his intentions were serious, and that Myndi was into it, I wouldn’t stand in their way, but I don’t want to see her hurt. And I don’t want things to become awkward. Even though Ryan, Slater, and their crew are seniors, we still hang with them a lot, and if Ryan treated Myndi like one of his “girls,” things would definitely get messy.
“You’re lucky you’re my favorite sister,” he grumbles, shoving my finger away.
I purse my lips and narrow my eyes. “I’m your only sister.”
“Exactly.” He smirks, and I roll my eyes.
“Myndi has just had a bad breakup and the last thing she needs is Mr. One-night Stand hitting on her.”
He slams a hand over his chest, feigning upset. “You slay me, little sis. Such cruel words.”
“Don’t even try to deny it. There’s a running roll call of your conquests on the wall in the girls’ restroom.” A sour taste fills my mouth. “And that is not something I should ever have to see.” I’m not confirming it’s a list of the hottest guys on campus with each girl rating their skills on a scale of one to ten. Or the fact he and Slater are more than holding their own at the top of the list. Ugh. A sister does not need to know this stuff.
He puffs out his chest, and his lips curl up at the corners. “Can’t help it if the ladies love what I’m offering.” He shoots us a smug grin. “It’s all in the James’ genes. You’d know it if you hadn’t attached yourself to Woods when you were still in diapers.”
I smack his chest this time. “I was fifteen when Dylan and I first started going out. Asshat.”
“Does Woods know you get off on beating up defenseless men?” He grabs his chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Or is that the standard he’s used to?”
I fist my hands into knots, working hard to quell the urge to thump him again. “Ugh. You are so freaking annoying. Thank God, it’s your last year here.”
Quick as a flash, he grabs me into a headlock, messing up my hair. “Don’t be mean, Tornado. You know you’ll miss your favorite brother.”
Ryan started calling me Tornado when I was about five after my propensity to race around the place, blowing in and out of rooms like a tornado. I’ve always had an abundance of restless energy, and it’s why you’ll rarely find me lounging around doing nothing. I like to keep active. The only exception is sleep. I love my bed and enjoy sleeping late, but once I’m up and out in the world, I’m always on the go.
I aim a punch toward his gut, but he snatches my wrist and effortlessly lifts me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I hate being the smallest in my family and the fact all three of my brothers use that to their advantage when it suits them.
“Put me down, Randy Ryan,” I yell, balling my hands into fists and pummeling his back. Ryan hates that name, and I love throwing it out to piss him off. The girls in high school gave him the label, and it stuck, much to his disgust. Especially when Sexy Slater rubbed his much cooler nickname in his face. My brother’s best friend was a permanent fixture around our house growing up, so I’ve spent years listening to them winding one another up. Slater’s practically a surrogate James.
Especially in the last year.
A pang of sorrow slams into me, but Ryan derails my emotions when he swats my butt, dragging me back into the moment. “Hitting is not nice, Gabby. Mom and Dad would be so disappointed to realize their little baby girl is a wannabe Katie Taylor.”
“Neither is screwing girls, making them fall in love with you, and then ignoring them, but you don’t see me running to the folks like a big blabbermouth.” I wriggle aggressively in his hold, and he relents, finally letting me down. I move to punch him in the gut again, but I’m only messing around. When he holds his hands up in a defensive stanch, I grab his face and smack a loud kiss on his cheek instead. “Love you, little big bro.”
I’m the youngest in our family, and Ryan is the youngest of my big brothers, and we’re the closest in age so, naturally, we formed the closest bond. When I was a kid, I used to call him little big bro, and it’s kinda stuck over the years.
He slings his arm around my shoulder, kissing my temple. “Love you too, little sis. Always.”
“You two are legit crazy,” Myndi says, and I hear the amusement in her tone. “How the hell did anyone survive living in a house with the two of you?”
“We mostly just ignored them,” a familiar deep masculine voice says from behind. I brush knotty strands of blonde hair back off my face and grin at my pseudo-brother.
“Sup, bruh?” Ryan greets Slater with a loud slap on the shoulder.
“I’m heading to Lil Bob for a workout before the party tonight.”
My eyes drift over Slater, noticing the new tatt on his left arm and the rippling biceps stretching tight under his formfitting shirt. Slater has always enjoyed working out, but since his Mom passed six months ago, he’s become a little obsessed. He’s a permanent fixture at the sports facility the students have christened “Lil Bob.” I guess it’s part of his coping mechanism, and I’ll never criticize him for that. Just thinking about his mom brings tears to my eyes, so I can only imagine how he must feel.
Noticing my lingering gaze, he arches a brow, and I blurt the first words to land in my brain. “You cut your lovely hair.”
His lips curl up at one corner. “Not since the last time we met. Your observational skills suck, Belle.”
Slater is the only one to call me that. I was obsessed with Beauty and the Beast when I was little, and Slater used to tease me saying I wanted to be Belle for access to the library. But he was only partly right. I did daydream about being Belle, but I was no different than any young girl my age, and I wanted to be her for the prince. Not the books! Anyway, the name stuck, and Slater has called me Belle ever since. Ryan prefers Tornado, Mom insists on using my full name, and Dad always calls me Buttercup. Most everyone else calls me Gabby. Dylan and I have pet names for one another, chosen when we were kids before either of us fully realized what we would become.
Some girls might hate being known by so many names, but it’s always made me feel special.
I stick out my tongue, and Slater laughs.
“I swear your haircut must have its own Twitter profile by now,” Ryan supplies, mock scowling. “If I see one more tweet about how hot Slater Evans is with his buzz cut, I’m gonna puke.” He punches Slate in the shoulder. “It’s good to know at least one girl is immune to your charms.”
Myndi is watching all the back and forth with amusement, and I half-expect her to whip out a bucket of popcorn and settle in to watch the show.
Reaching up on tiptoes, I run my hand over Slater’s shaved head. “Wow, it’s so soft.” He flashes me a blinding grin, showcasing his perfectly white, perfectly straight teeth. “Maybe I can convince Dylan to follow in your footsteps.” Slater’s smile fades, and his Adam’s apple jumps in his throat.
“Dylan would look so hot with that haircut,” Myndi agrees.
“I’m gonna head,” Slater says, eyeballin
g Ryan. “See you back at the house.” He gives me and Myndi a quick wave. “Catch you later.”
“You coming to the party?” Ryan asks, his gaze bouncing between me and Myndi.
“I’ll be there,” she confirms with a smile, and they share a look. I have a feeling that train wreck is gonna happen whether I stage an intervention or not.
“I’m not sure. I don’t know if Dylan has something planned for after dinner.”
Myndi smirks, her mind clearly gone to the gutter, and Ryan frowns a little. Guess he doesn’t like the idea of his sister having sex any more than I like thinking about him and his hordes of female admirers.
I kiss Ryan on the cheek before looping my arm through Myndi’s again. “I’ll text you later,” I say, starting to walk away. “Have fun and stay safe!” I practically have to drag Myndi away, watching with resignation as she glances over her shoulder, shooting him a final drawn-out look. “You like him.”
Her smile disappears, and she chews on the corner of her lip in an obvious tell.
“It’s okay if you do,” I rush to reassure her. I’ve never understood the apparent taboo of getting with your friend’s brother or vice versa. It’s not like there’s any shared DNA or blood relation, so who cares?
You should be free to love who you love without barriers.
“You’re both adults, and you can do what you want. I just don’t want you to get hurt, and Ryan’s not exactly boyfriend material.”
“I know that, and I’m not looking for a replacement boyfriend. I want to focus on my studies this year, and boys will only get in the way, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have fun. I don’t want my vajayjay to shrivel up and die from lack of use.”
I grin. “That would never happen around here, and you should do what feels right. I’m a judgment free zone, but you’ve got to promise it won’t come between us. If Ryan fucks things up, I don’t want it to affect our friendship because you mean too much to me.”
She squeezes my arm. “I would never let anything come between us. Especially not the weaker sex.”
We both burst out laughing at our own private joke, and as we make our way through campus, I hope she’s right.
When Forever Changes Page 1